Sorry it took so long to post this chapter. There is no excuse for my slowness. I hope you enjoy.
Chapter 10
Dean staggered into the motel room at about 1:30am, the stench of alcohol following him. Cas and Sam were sitting on the bed going through the papers that Bobby had left behind. "Dean? Are you okay? What happened?" Cas got up and helped steady Dean and walked him over to the other bed.
"I'm fine, Cas. Just needed a drink. It's been a tough week." Cas started to touch his head to clear up the drunkenness, but Sam stopped him. "Let him suffer a little Cas, it's good for humans sometimes. He wanted to get this way for a reason, don't take it away from him." Sam was surprised that Dean could even get drunk anymore, considering the amount of alcohol he consumed these days. He figured that when Dean woke up sick as hell in the morning, he might keep the bottle out of his hands for a little while.
"You know what Sammy? You're a pain in my ass. Always with the caring and sharing, wanting to talk about everything. Everyone's favorite hero." Dean stood up moving to Sam. "I just love how I'll never live up to my baby brother. No matter how many sacrifices I make or people I save, it'll always still be 'all about Sammy'."
Castiel could tell what direction this conversation was moving in and that was the last direction he wanted to go in. Sam had finally stopped talking down his brother and was starting to relax. Now Dean was gonna come in and relight the fire. "Dean, I think you should get some rest." Cas tried to move him back, but Dean just pushed him away. "No Cas, I don't want to. Everything was gone, Cas. Don't you understand? My whole life was all about him. Protect Sammy… Save Sammy… Fix Sammy. I did that Cas, then I finally found something for myself. I may not have deserved it, but ... No one expects me to care. I have to keep going, for him, to handle his next big crisis. And ya know what? He thinks I'm a monster." Dean looked as if he was about to fall over. His words were slurred and sentences broken. Sam almost felt sorry for him.
"Dean, I don't think you're a monster. That's your line, not mine. Right now I think you're too drunk to think straight and should probably go lay down before you say something you'll regret later." Sam turned to Cas, he just couldn't help himself. "See Cas, the thing about drunk people is that they have a habit of letting you know exactly how they really feel, especially when they've been holding it down for so long. Why don't you ask him what his part in the whole warehouse thing was? It'll probably be your best chance to get an honest answer from him."
Cas started to tell Sam to knock it off, but Dean started in before he had the chance. "Leave him the hell out of this Sammy. That's what you want though, isn't it? Kind, gentle, caring Sammy; so much nicer than me. You forgive him without hesitation, sympathize with him, protect him, take care of him. Hell, all I do is hurt him… Right?" Sam just shook his head, if he wasn't so pissed, he might have burst out laughing. "You do realize that Cas is still in the room, right Dean?" Cas just put his hand up to Sam, Shook his head and leaned against the wall on the other side of the room. He wanted no part of this sibling rivalry stupidity. They both asked for this in their own ways, they could deal with it. He straightened up and walked to the door. "Call me when you two are done." He walked out into the night and sat on the curb, really wanting to just fly away somewhere. Maybe he could find Bobby and hunt vampires. Tempting thought, but he couldn't leave Dean, not now.
Sam looked down at the papers on the bed, hoping that Castiel's exit was enough to get Dean to shut up, but of course it wasn't. He glared at Sam, lowering his voice to just above a whisper. "You think you can turn him against me? Take him away from me too? Something else I get to lose to you? Not this time. He's mine." Sam finally stood up, knocking the papers to the floor. "He's yours? You own him now? Know what? You're probably right. All it took was beating him into submission. And for what, Dean… So he'd follow you around like a puppy dog? Hell, he practically did that before. You're the only one who got a damn thing out of what happened. Your act hasn't fooled anyone, Dean. Kristie's just the excuse, not the cause. We all know it. He knows too."
Dean pulled the door open and walked outside with Sam right on his heels. "Cas, we need to leave." He looked down at Cas who was still sitting on the curb. Cas looked to Sam, almost as if asking for permission. "Cas, just listen to him, he doesn't even deny it. You can't go with him. You think you're helping, but you're just making matters worse." Cas knew that Sam had a point, but there really wasn't any other option anymore. "Cas, now." Dean's voice was stern and commanding. Cas got up and walked to Deans side, refusing to make eye contact with Sam. Dean put his arm around Cas' waist and gave Sam a victorious grin.
"I'm sorry Sam, but I need to stay with Dean. Please trust me, everything will be fine." Cas still didn't look Sam in the eyes. He knew Sam wouldn't understand. "If you need me, just call and I'll come. I promise." Sam drew in a deep breath. He was almost as angry at Cas as he was Dean. "Sure Cas, if he lets you off your leash." Cas didn't get too many references, but he got that one. "Sam, everything will be fine." Sam pursed his lips and closed his eyes as he tried to hold down his anger. "No Cas it won't, not it you leave with him." Sam turned back to Dean, his voice a little calmer. "Dean, whatever this is, we can figure it out and fix it. You have to realize how far off the rails you are."
Dean just laughed. "Bye Sammy. Let's see how big a hero you are without your sidekick." That was it, Sam was finally pissed. "You think I care if you walk away? I could care less. Actually, you need to get the hell away from me before I…" Cas tensed up. Sam took a step towards Dean with his fist clenched, nostrils flared. He calmed himself before he did anything. "No, I'm not gonna fight with you, you're not worth it. But if either of you happen to come across my brother out there somewhere, tell him I miss him." Sam turned around and walked back in to motel.
As soon as they were gone, Sam picked up his phone and dialed Bobby's number. "Bobby, I need your help here." Sam's voice was shaky and desperate. Bobby could feel the guilt rising in his chest; he had left because he needed a break from Sam and Dean. He'd never run from a monster in his life, but he couldn't just sit there and watch what was happening to his family. He need time to think, time to figure it out.
"Sam, I'm up to my eyeballs in vamps here then I have to head south to help a buddy with a Siren issue. If you run into something that you can't handle, I'll send someone." Sam couldn't believe his ears. Bobby wanted to send someone else? What was happening here? "I have run into something I can't handle, Bobby…. Dean! I need your help, not someone else's. This is a family matter, Bobby. We can't involve an outsider." He knew Dean was into something bad, whether or not Bobby wanted to admit it. Involving any other hunter could be bad news. Bobby knew that they almost always shoot first and never bother to ask questions.
"Look kid, just let them go off and do their thing, whatever that is. I'm sure Dean just needs some time off. Sorry Sam, but I gotta go." Bobby hung up the phone before Sam could say anything else.
Sam had finally forced himself to get a few hours sleep, but was startled awake by banging on the motel door. He groggily walked over and opened it. Kristie stood on the other side looking tired and nervous. "Hi Sam." He rolled his eyes and turned from the door, leaving it open so she could come in. "Look, I know you don't trust me and I don't blame you…" He motioned for her to come in. "Kris, this is just… I want to trust you, but you can do things to people that scares the hell out of me. How can I even trust myself around you?"
She sat her bag down on the bed and turned to him, eyes close to watering. He realized that his first impression was right, she was scared. "That should tell you that I'm not messing with you. I already told you; if I wanted to, you would have no doubts." She scanned the room, realizing for the first time that Sam was alone. "Where is everyone?"
"Bobby went to help a buddy with a vampire issue. Dean and Cas are, well wherever they went off to." She almost looked a little relieved; some of her normal calm slowly replaced the panic of moments ago. "Good. I need to talk to you – alone. I need you to know a few things about the warehouse thing." Sam had no desire to know or hear anything about that. Having to clean Cas' wounds gave him more of a picture than he already wanted.
"I think I have a pretty good idea Kris. I could do without any more details. You may be able to see this situation without feeling anything, but he's my brother. I can't." Kristie had to make Sam understand. He was her only hope now. "Sam, I didn't stay. I couldn't watch and I needed to call you. I didn't know everything, I still don't. I need your help."
"Why would you do that? You had to know that Crowley would be pissed if you double crossed him. Why in the hell would you risk yourself for us?" She wanted to be honest, to tell him everything. There was something about him that was comforting and genuine, but she couldn't, so she went with the truth she could reveal. "I didn't do it for all of you, just him." Sam's expression was confused. "Him who? Dean?" She reached into her bag and pulled out a DVD. "No… I did it for Cas, but that doesn't matter now. You have to watch this disc. We have a problem and, unfortunately it makes my situation very serious."
Sam had to laugh at that. "Serious? Yeah, I can see that. You piss off the three best hunters in the country, almost cause the death on an angel that God himself wants alive, and yeah, betray the king of hell. You could call your situation serious." He put his fingers to the bridge of his nose, trying to massage away the headache he felt about to start. "Sam look…" He interrupted. "No, you look. You act like all this is your playground, but there are actual people involved here. This isn't a damn game. Kris, if I didn't think we could use you, I would kill you at this point. You made a freakin mess. Stop playing games and clean it up."
She took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm trying to Sam, but I need you to believe me. The only way is for you to see it for yourself. I'm sorry, I wish you didn't have to. It won't make you hate me any less, but you need to know what really happened." Sam grabbed the disc from her hand. "Fine. I'm sure I've seen worse." She could see how stressful the situation had become for him. "I can ease a little of your reaction to it if you'd like." He took a step back from her and shook his head. "Don't even think about touching me." She nodded. "I don't have to touch you to…" "You're not making me any more confident in you Kris. I can handle it."
Sam opened the laptop and slipped the disc in, hitting play. He sat down and Kris pulled a chair up next to him. Together they started watching. Kris paused the disc as Dean pulled the angel blade out of Cas' arm. "Cas never even tried to defend himself. He just stood there. He could have stopped him. Even in holy fire, he still had the power to stop Dean." Sam huffed at that. "You don't know us Kris. Everything we've been through together. Everything we survived. He won't fight Dean. He won't defend himself at all, actually. He probably thought he could talk Dean out of it, that he wouldn't actually do it." She gave him a sad smile. "Yeah, because a, who knows how old, warrior of God would never think that an unstable human would actually attack."
Sam just shook his head at her. "You're trying to tell me that Cas just let him do that?" She was afraid to let him know how strong her ability to read emotions were, afraid that it would make him doubt her more, but she had to tell him. "I can tell what they both a feeling, just by watching this disc, Sam. I know he 'just let him', even knowing what would happen when that bracelet was put on." Sam pressed play, trying to shake off the fact that this girl kept getting creepier and creepier by the minute.
After a few minutes of watching, he slammed the laptop closed, feeling the sudden urge to throw up or scream or both. He had tried to put the name carving out of his mind, but seeing his brother lick… He just couldn't. "There better be a point to this, other than to torture me. I swear…" She put her hand on his back, surprised that he didn't pull away. "There is. I promise. A knife infused with holy oil? A bracelet that binds angel powers? I did some research, Sam. Both of those are Heaven's torture devices, used at 'angel reform school'. It's how they punish bad little angels.
Sam ran his hands through his hair. "So, you're telling me that they got their hands on Heaven's weapons?" He turned to her. "Not just that. I had no idea Dean had that knife. He wasn't supposed to know what was gonna happen at that warehouse. Even the fire ring was a suggestion I planted after we got there. Why did he have that knife on him already?" Sam considered that. "Worse, how did both Dean and Crowley get their hands on angel torture weapons?"
Sam didn't want to watch anymore, but he realized that Kristie was right. His gut had been screaming the same thing. He reluctantly opened the computer and went back to that awful day.
Sam watched in horror, turning his head at times. "What the hell? Tell me you want me and it ends?" He turned to Kris, waiting for an answer. She watched his disgusted expression. "Unfortunately, that was the whole point. They had to break him, Sam. Submission is the usual goal of any torture. They need him to do something. It has to be something pretty big for them to think that they needed to do this to get him to do it." Sam had a sick sensation in his stomach. "So the sex and wanting Castiel, that's all just part of this too? Part of breaking him?" Kristie looked at the horror on Sam's face. "No; I do know that Dean is very much in love with Castiel. That's one of the things that makes this so confusing." Sam was relieved. For some reason, that would have made it so much worse.
"What about Cas? Is he in love with Dean?" Cas had always seemed incapable of deep human emotions. He was more cold and mechanical, at least until recently. Kristie shook her head. "I don't think so. He's not human, doesn't have the same capacity for things like that. What he does feel is a compulsion to protect Dean, keep him safe, make him happy. I don't think there's anything he won't do to achieve that. But it's not love, at least not in the sense of 'romantic' love." Her eyes were sad and tired. "Cas is already struggling with all these new things and feelings, add this to it and I don't know if he'll be able to handle it."
Sam watched the rest of the video without commenting until it was over. "All I see is that Cas refused to defend himself and Crowley got his hands on angel weapons. How does this make anything worse? It looks like it ended with everything being okay. Cas was able to snap him out of it."
"Sam, there was nothing to snap him out of. I did not mojo him, all I did was plant the suggestion that Cas was gonna leave. I told you, I don't make mistakes. I wasn't being conceited, I really don't. I knew there had to be more to this. How they kept it from me is still a mystery. I'm guessing it has something to do with that shielded piece of memory. What Dean can't remember, I can't read." Sam gave her a questioning look. "Sam, go back to the part where Dean supposedly snaps out of it. Watch his face very carefully."
Sam did what she said. "Son of a bitch." He looked at Kristie. "He smiled. Cas only thought he snapped out of it. It was a trick." She felt a wave of relief rush over her as Sam finally got the point. Sometimes it was easy for her to forget that not everyone could read people the way she could. "Now watch Cas' face. Watch his expression, especially his eyes." Sam went back and re-watched, focusing on Cas. His eyes closed and shoulders slumped. "He knew, Kris. He knows." She hesitantly shook her head. "Yup, yet he still said the 'three little words'. Sam, don't you get it?"
Sam just wanted to go hide in a hole somewhere. The level of messed up that his entire life had become, always had been, was enough to send anyone to the nut house. "No, please tell me because I'm totally confused here." Kris took his chin in her hand and forced him to look at her. "The only explanation is that Dean knew about everything all along. I was never playing him, he was playing already. He has to be in on it with Crowley. They are up to something and you know as well as me that if it involves Crowley, It isn't good." She saw Sam trying to deny this to himself. "Sam, he knew what was going to happen, he came prepared. He knew when Crowley left to come to me, that's the exact time he showed up at my house. He needed a reason to 'snap out of it' and Cas gave it to him by crying."
Sam finally realized how Dean must have felt, watching him do horrible things, then having to watch Cas do horrible things. He had always just seen it as 'Dean doesn't understand how we felt'. It was the first time that he realized that they didn't understand how Dean felt. It was worse on this side.
"Sam, someone high on the food chain has to be helping for them to have gotten those weapons." Kris knew Sam was hurting, but he would hate it if she tried to help, so she just let the hurt in his gut take hold. He looked up at her and added, "And 'miraculously' Cas can't hear or sense Dean." He felt a tear wet his cheek. "So…. How long has my brother been an evil dick and how are we gonna get Cas away from them?" The words were quiet and pained.
Kristie shook her head. She had to wipe a tear from her eye as well. "Sam, Castiel knows that Dean never snapped out of it. He knew the moment he saw the bracelet that heaven is involved. He'll never stop letting Dean do whatever he wants to him because now he has proof that all this, especially Dean, is punishment. He may not even know he's really here."
"What do you mean?" Sam asked quietly. He was tired and once again felt like everyone's fate rested on his shoulders. "Angel reform school… Cas has been there before?" Sam remembered how Cas had been changed by his return visit to heaven. "Yeah, he came back all 'I answer to heaven'. Sam gave the perfect mocking performance of Castiel's stoic demeanor. Kris smiled at that. "Their methods are very creative, Sam. They have the power to reshape reality, you know this. He may think that this whole thing is just a prison cell. Those weapons reinforced that. He broke, Sam. He won't listen to us now."
"Then what the hell do we do? Wait… You said this makes your situation more serious. How?" Kris looked away. "I can't tell you. What I can say is that, if Dean really is one of the bad guys, I have no chance. I took a gamble not knowing that the game was rigged. I can't win." Sam looked at her, trying to figure her out was virtually impossible. "So why bother then? Why help me?" She looked back up at him. "So maybe when I do die, I can do so, knowing that I did at least one thing right. Just leave it at that."
"We have to fix this Kris. Things have gotten bad before, but we always manage to fix it. We need help, but Bobby can't handle this right now. We have to get them back, both of them." Sam was trying to figure out a way to do this without including Bobby; he would wait to make that call as long as possible. "What can we do?"
"Got any other angels on speed dial?"
Cas lay on the soft bed with his head on Deans chest, Dean's arms gently wrapped around him. Dean still slept below him. Dean had a hard night. Nightmares plagued his sleep. Cas laid down with him to help keep the dreams away. He thought about entering them, but was too afraid he'd see something he didn't want to. This whole situation was a new level of messed up, but there was no way he was leaving Dean's side. No matter what was going on here, he had Dean and Dean wanted him. Nothing else mattered.
Castiel freed himself from Dean's grip, looking down at the beautiful man below him, shirtless and glistening with sweat. How could he ever have denied this man anything? He was so perfect. He ran his fingers over the tight muscles that slightly tensed at his touch. He ran his hands lower, using his power to make Dean's boxers disappear. Hoping he was doing the right things, he gently glided his hand lower, softly running his fingers through the course hair surrounding Dean's half-hard dick. Dean moaned softly and shifted slightly, allowing Cas more access.
Cas leaned down and ran his tongue up the length of Dean's dick, tasting the flavor of salt and sweat and pure human essence, causing it to jump a little. A quiet moan escaped Dean's lips, his hips arched up slightly. "Cas, what are you doing?" Dean ran his fingers through the angel's soft hair. "Shh… I want you, Dean." Cas whispered, kissing the tip of Dean's cock. He lapped at the head, then slowly took it into his mouth. Dean gripped his hair tighter as Cas sucked up and down, licking and massaging in perfect timing with Dean's upward thrusts that reached the back of Cas' throat. "Oh god Cas, that feels so damn…" Dean thrusted up again, fucking the angel's mouth, close to losing his mind. "God, you have to stop or I'll come in your mouth." Dean could barely contain himself. He pushed Cas off of him before it was too late, pushing him down into the bed. Cas just stared up, confused. Dean pressed his lips down hard on Cas' mouth, pushing his tongue in as deep as it could go, kissing with the passion of a man who's been denied too long. His hands moving desperately over Castiel's still clothed body. "Get rid of them, Cas." Cas obeyed and they both lay naked, tangled and breathless.
Dean reached down and carefully stroked Cas' hard dick, afraid it might freak him out even though he was the one who started this. Instead, Cas' hands moved greedily over Dean's neck and chest, his mouth sucking and biting every inch he could find. Dean was completely overwhelmed with want and need. The Angel's mouth on his body made him want to scream. "Cas, baby" Dean said through breathless gasps, "Cas, I need to fuck you. I need to be inside you, now." He grabbed the angel's head and pulled him back up into a messy, hard kiss, tongue exploring every inch of the angel's mouth." Cas spread his legs in an unspoken invitation, wrapping them around the hunter. "Are you sure, Cas? Is this what you want?" Cas kissed Deans mouth again. "I want you, Dean." Dean looked him in the eyes, pulling himself up slightly. "How do you want me? You have to say it, Cas."
"I want you to fuck me, Dean. Please. Now." The desperation in the angel's voice alone, almost made Dean come undone. "Suck on my fingers, baby." Dean moved his index finger over the angel's lips, tracing the bottom one before Castiel slowly sucked it into his mouth. He let his tongue massage the digit as Dean added a second, then third. He ran his tongue around and in-between, the sight of this beautiful creature caused Dean to swallow hard, his chest about to explode with excitement. Dean closed his eyes, moving slightly he rubbed his dick against Cas' thigh. The angel bit down gently on the fingers, thrusting his hips up in time with Dean's.
Dean reluctantly pulled his fingers out of Castiel's mouth and moved his mouth back down to cover Castiel's, needing at least something inside his angel. He pushed his moistened middle finger into Castiel's tight opening, working it loose. "Damn baby, so tight. Am I hurting you?" Cas thrust into Deans finger in response. Dean added a second finger, spreading them as gently as possible. Castiel moved and moaned impatiently under him. "Fuck me now Dean, please. I want to feel you inside me."
Castiel's words alone were coming close to sending him over the edge, let alone the complete desperation and pleading in his tone. He pulled his fingers out and pressed the tip of his cock against Cas' opening, gently pushing it in. The feeling of finally being completely immersed in this beautiful being was enough to send him over the edge, lost in ecstasy. He tried to get his breathing under control and almost managed when the sensation of fingernails digging into his shoulders snapped him out of it. "Damn it Dean, I'm an angel. You can't hurt me." Castiel thrusted his hips up, pushing Dean completely inside of him. "Now please fuck me." Dean pulled out then back in, taking slow but forceful thrusts, as the angel mewed beneath him. "Fuck Cas, I …" Dean tried to find the words, but none would come out. Dean's breath was coming in shorts rasps as he continuously pounded into Castiel after finding the perfect angle to drive the angel wild.
Dean didn't know how much longer he could last. Castiel moaning and calling his name, his hands gripping and clawing, mouth kissing and licking and tasting his flesh. He felt almost high. He'd never felt anything like this before in his life. He grabbed Castiel's hair and pulled his face up to meet his. "Come for me baby." He breathed the words into his lips as he reached down and cupped Castiel's dick in his hand. Cas was panting, unsure of what he was feeling, but wanting more. "Dean, please. I can't…" Dean pumped harder and made his thrusts longer. "Come on baby, don't fight it. Come for me Cas." Cas nearly screamed as his come shot out, running down Deans hand. The sight of pure pleasure on the angel's face and one last thrust was all it took as Dean filled the angel with his essence. He fell forward onto Castiel, breathing so hard the thought that maybe his lungs had exploded.
Cas was barely moving beneath him. "You okay, Cas?" Dean smiled down at his beautiful angel. "Yes, I'm very okay. Are you happy, Dean?" "Yeah, I'm happy Cas." He placed a long, slow kiss on the angel's mouth as proof. Dean pulled away, a smile on his face, but his eyes were sad and tired. "Cas, not that I'm complaining, but why the sudden change? I thought you were convinced this wasn't the right thing to do." Cas stroked Dean's chin, hating the sad look that came over his face. "I was wrong, I know that now. I can't ever leave you. This is where I should be and I understand that now. I will do whatever you want." He reached up and kissed Dean's lips, giving him a small smile.
"So, this is because of what I did to you?" Saying the words made it too real. He tried to fight back the tears that were about to fall. "You are willing to do this so I won't hurt you again?" Cas brought his hand back up to Dean's cheek and traced his thumb along his lip. "No Dean. You promised that you wouldn't and I believe you. Dean Winchester doesn't break promises. You changed my life from the first moment I saw you. I want you Dean; nothing will change that, not this time."
Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath, a sick feeling rising up in his stomach, tears forming in his eyes. "Cas, things might not be exactly what you think. You're not…" Dean stopped before he finished, knowing he wasn't allowed to say more. "Don't complicate things, Dean. It's what it is. Let's just try to be happy." Dean gave him a quick peck on his lip, tugging on his lower. "I am happy, Cas. Being with you, it's all that matters."
Cas suddenly pushed up away from Dean. "We have to go. Sam is calling." Dean moved aside to give Cas room to get up. "You go Cas, I'll wait here. Sam's probably worried about you and wants to make sure I didn't beat you up or something." Cas just rolled his eyes and mojoed everything clean and zapped his clothes back on. He looked at Dean with a disapproving face. "He probably wants to know that you're okay too. You're his brother and he loves you."
Dean pulled himself to the edge of the bed, covering himself with the thin, white motel sheet. "Yeah, but he also thinks I'm a monster. He's right, you know." Castiel huffed and sat down next to dean, stroking his hair. "No he doesn't and no you aren't." Dean looked at him appreciatively and smiled. "I just can't face him yet, okay."
Cas nodded and stood up. "Okay, I'll go and see what he needs, then come back. How much time do I have?" Dean shot his head up, staring at Cas. "What?" Cas folded his hands over his chest a little impatiently and repeated his question. "When do you want me back?" Dean could feel the rise and fall of his chest deepening as breathing became a little more difficult. "You don't have a curfew, Cas. Come back when you're done. If I need you, I can call your cell phone. Just be careful … and come back."
Cas nodded once. "I will." With a flutter of wings he was gone and Dean was left all alone with his guilt. Same story, different day.
"Dean, Dean, Dean. Do you know how close you just came to screwing everything up?" Dean had barely gotten his clothes back on when the demon appeared. He turned around staring harshly at Crowley, in no mood for his attitude. "What the hell are you talking about, Crowley?" Dean walked around him and pulled a bottle of whiskey from his duffel bag, trying to ignore the intruder.
"You can't tell him, Dean. It has to be this way and you know it. Besides, he won't believe you now anyway." Dean took a drink and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know and I didn't. So you can go back to wherever you came from and let me get drunk in peace." Dean lifted the bottle to his mouth again and turned to walk away.
"What's the matter, Dean? Things not exactly what you thought they'd be?" Dean knew that Crowley was just being Crowley, but it was getting on his nerves today. "No, not exactly, you dick. Please just leave me alone."
Crowley huffed. He knew this was gonna happen. Damn it, he didn't have time for hand-holding. "What did you expect? Did you expect that torture would make him legitimately love you? Dean, you knew this would happen; it was kind of the whole point. He has to be willing to do anything for you; your ass depends on it. Hell, both our asses depend on it, so quit being a cry baby and get over it before you ruin everything. Just look at it this way: He's willing and you're able, so enjoy." Crowley picked up an empty glass and held it out for Dean to fill. Dean rolled his eyes, but added the amber liquid to the glass.
He knew Crowley was right. Still, he wouldn't give him the satisfaction of caving completely. "Enjoy? Really? You would think that, you ass. I can fix this." His words trailed off. "At least this is something I can fix." He took a sip from the bottle and looked over to Crowley. "If you're only here to warn me to keep my mouth shut, I got it. You can leave now." Dean took another drink. His was finally starting to feel some of the effects that only half a fifth could bring.
Crowley threw another envelope down on the table. "Duty calls." Dean just eyed it, taking another drink. "You might want to slow down on that, Dean. It's really hard to get the job done if you're passed out. You said that you could handle this. Now pull it the hell together and do your job." He took a step closer, straightening Dean's shirt collar. "The consequences would be most unpleasant if you don't. We don't want to go through that again, do we?" Crowley took a step back and was gone.
Dean opened the envelope and read the instructions, then shoved it into his pocket. He took another quick drink from the bottle before capping it and putting it away.
Sam gave Cas a friendly smile when he appeared. "Hi Castiel. I was starting to think you weren't gonna come. Where's Dean?" Cas looked around and Saw Kristie leaning against the wall, hands causally in her pockets, lips tightly pressed together to keep from smiling at the wave of embarrassment she could feel radiating from him. He looked back to Sam, hoping she would keep her mouth shut.
"He wouldn't come, Sam. I tried to convince him that you would want to see him too, but he just isn't ready to face you yet, I'm sorry." Sam looked a little saddened by that, but just cleared his throat and continued on to the business at hand. "That's alright, not so sure I want to face him right now, myself. It's actually better if we talk to you alone, anyway." He hesitated, searching for a good way to begin. There wasn't any. "Cas, I saw everything that happened in that warehouse, Crowley filmed it." Cas put his head down and crossed his arms, taking a deep breath before looking back up at Sam. "Why would you watch that?"
Kristie took a step forward. "Because I asked him to." Cas took a couple steps away from her, not wanting her to touch him. He knew distance wouldn't make a difference in her ability to read him, but it made him feel better anyway. "Why would you do that? There is no reason that he needed to see that, Kris. He already thinks Dean is a horrible person; you didn't need to make it worse. Or maybe Crowley sent you to do it. Are you purposefully driving a wedge between them, Kris? Is that your new game?"
Kristie started to defend herself, but Sam put a hand up to stop her. "Kris isn't the one driving the wedge, you are. It's you that seems to be the center of all this and you know it. She's in a lot of trouble for helping us right now. I needed to see that video and I think you know why." Cas shot Kris a look that Sam didn't realize he was capable of before readdressing Sam. "Of course I know why you needed to see it, at least from her stand point. She just gave you another reason to treat him like a monster, compare him to Lucifer." Cas watched Sam's shocked expression. "I know you said that, so does Dean. You were none to quiet, apparently. What he did, he did to me and I forgive him. It's no one else's business. He didn't hurt anyone except me and that's alright, I can handle it. If you called me here to convince me that he's some sort of monster, don't bother."
Castiel turned to leave, but Sam stepped in front of him. "I didn't want to do this, but you're here to clean up your mess. Daddy's orders, remember?" Cas looked up at him. "Of course I remember, but cleaning up my mess does not include listening to you talk about how all this is Dean's fault because he's gone dark side or something. That is what you're getting at, isn't it?"
Sam smirked. "Obviously the thought has crossed your mind or you wouldn't immediately assume I'm thinking it, but no. This is more about Kristie. She is a part of your mess and I need your help to fix it." Cas pulled a chair out and sat down. "What do you need?" Sam was glad Cas took a seat. He was tired of looking up at him. "I need you to tell up about the knife, the one infused with holy oil. How could Dean have gotten it?"
Cas took a deep breath, he didn't want to talk about it. "I don't know what you're talking about. I can't remember much about that." Sam looked up at Kristie's head shake, telling him that Cas was lying. He nodded back to her and she pushed a few buttons on the computer and turned it to Cas, screen frozen in a picture of Dean pressing the blade to his lips.
The pained expression on Cas' face as he looked at the picture made Sam's heart ache just a little. He hated having to beat up the victim, but it was necessary. "I'm not trying to be cruel here, but we really need answers and I know you have them. Please Cas, don't make us do this the hard way."
Cas looked up at him and away from the frozen memory. "It's a weapon of heaven used for internal issues. The only way he could have gotten it was if someone from heaven gave it to him." He hoped they didn't want him to elaborate because he had no intention of doing so. "What about the bracelet?" Cas rolled his eyes. "Same answer." Sam was quickly getting more and more upset with the angel. "You knew that he wasn't under any spell, Cas. You knew it was all just him and you know that he was, and still probably is, involved in some pretty nasty stuff. Why in the hell would you keep going along with it?"
The hurt and embarrassment that Cas was feeling was quickly turning to anger. This was not Sam's business. "Because I deserved it. I deserve whatever punishment Dean sees fit. I hurt him most of all. I don't deserve peace, happiness or forgiveness. I deserved to die." His voice got a little lower. "But they know I want to die, so it won't happen. They know this is worse."
Sam looked up to Kristie for confirmation that Cas was being honest. When she nodded, he knew they wouldn't get anything more, but he did need to ask one more question. "Cas, what is he?" Cas was shocked at that question. "He's your brother, Sam."
Sam's hands turned into fists as he tried to hold back his frustration. "My brother wouldn't do this." Sam slid the computer to Castiel after hitting the play button. Cas slammed the lid down on the laptop and glared at Sam. "Yes he would and you would better understand that if you had actually been there for him when he returned from hell. For ten hears he did this, Sam. That changes a person and he never got the luxury of a 'wall' to make him forget." He pushed the computer back to Sam. "You're doing the same thing now, letting Kris play games with your head just like Ruby did. Did it ever cross your mind that there's a better chance of figuring this out by playing along instead of creating conflict? If I had stayed with you, he would have left anyway and neither of us would have a chance to fix it. Driving him away isn't the answer, it's the cause."
Kristie finally spoke up, a little annoyed at his accusations. "But you're not just playing along, are you Cas? You're actively participating now. You think he's gonna spill all his secrets in the sac, Cas? Hoping for a little pillow talk?" Cas took a step towards her, the anger washed across his face. "That is none of your business."
Sam cleared his throat and stepped up from the table, moving directly into Castiel's space. "No, but it is mine. He is in love with you, Castiel. You don't feel the same way about him. You're not capable, are you? How can you lead him on like that just to get information? Even you have to know how wrong that is." Sam almost threw a punch, but remembered how pointless (and painful) that would be, just in time to stop himself.
Cas gave him a slightly conceited smirk before taking a step back. "I don't care what you think anymore. Your judgment can't be trusted. As long as you continue to address this problem with the mindset that Dean is just something to 'hunt', I will protect him, even from you. Don't assume to understand what I do or don't feel for him. If you try to hurt him, I will stop you with any means necessary. If I have to choose between you and him, no matter what he's involved in, I will always choose him. Please don't make me do that."
Sam smiled, he should have been terrified by the threat, but for some stupid reason he was glad Cas wasn't 'just playing along' even if that was what he thought he was doing. "I can't fight you, Cas. I don't wanna fight either of you. I just want my brother back." Cas didn't bother to answer, he just disappeared, needing to get back to Dean.
Dean heard the flutter of wings and turned to see Cas standing behind him. Before he could move, Dean grabbed him and pushed him into the wall, kissing him with all the passion that he could find. He wasn't sure that the angel would actually come back. It was a kiss of pure relief and pent up anticipation of being deserted, yet again.
Cas worked his hands downward, loving the feel of Dean's body next to his. He pulled Dean's t-shirt out of his pants, then started working on the stiff button of his jeans. Dean pulled back, bringing Cas' hands up to his lips, placing a soft kiss on them. "Stop, Cas." He pushed his body tight against the angel, stroking his face before gently kissing his forehead. "I have to go out, Cas and you can't come with me. I need you to promise that you won't follow me."
Cas was worried. "I promise. I'll wait for you here. You seem upset. Are you okay?" Cas hated the sad, dark look in Dean's beautiful eyes. Dean smiled at him and pushed himself back. "Yeah, Cas. I'll be fine. I have to do something I don't want to do, but it's all gonna be okay in the end." He pressed his lips in for another deep kiss, before grabbing his leather jacket from the back of a chair and walking out the door.
Sam pushed back from the table looking at the computer screen with an odd expression on his face. "Hey Kris, come take a look at this." He turned the computer to show her the screen. She pulled it closer and studied it for a sec. "Those are coordinates and a time." She looked to Sam to see if he thought that too. "Looks like someone wants us to be somewhere."
Sam nodded in agreement, but looked a little nervous. "It's kind of odd seeing coordinates. That's how my dad used to tell us where we needed to go next." His face was a little paler than it had been a moment ago.
Kristie typed the numbers into the computer. "That location isn't very far, just over thirty miles." She looked at her watch. "We only have about an hour."
Sam seemed to pull himself together. "So, a trap of some sort?" He'd rather it be a trap, the other option confirmed his suspicion. Kristie could feel how he had tensed. "Well, cryptic message, possibly from the beyond, magically appearing out of nowhere: Nope, doesn't sound fishy at all. Someone's probably just throwing us a surprise party."
Sam smiled at that. "Well, grab your party hat and let's get on the road."
Notes: This was such a long chapter, but I was trying to get all the characters on the same page in the story. I hope you all enjoyed. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.