A/N: Wow! Thank you everyone for your reviews! I assure you, your efforts were not futile… a new job, new study and writer's block is a powerful and dangerous cocktail. This chapter was about 80% done before Christmas last year, that's when things got crazy.
Disclaimer: I don't own this chapter's song. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. Twilight owns me. I can live with that :)
Chapter 10: There's Something You're Not Telling Me
Song: "Closer to the Edge" – 30 Seconds to Mars
EPOV
I was in an exceptionally good mood the next day. Not only was it two days away from the weekend, but I felt rejuvenated, having slept well after coming to terms with my own rampant emotions. Part of me was still trying to admit that I had fallen head over heels for Bella, while the rest of me – a majority, actually – overrode that and had embraced it fully. I didn't really understand the confliction, so I ignored it, deciding that it would go away with time.
One thing I was happy about was that I completed the new song I had been working on. The ending came to me so easily once I had realised that Bella was the inspiration.
Alice was practically bouncing off the walls. As soon as I walked into the kitchen for breakfast, she knocked the breath out of me as she ran at me, wrapping her arms around my torso and telling me how happy she was that I had figured myself out. Don't ask me how she knew… That freaky intuition of hers, I guess.
The first thing I did when I arrived at school was go to my locker. As soon as I opened it, a slip of paper fell to the ground at my feet. I hastily picked it up and unfolded it. It only said two words, but it was enough to bring a smile to my lips.
Soon! Bella.
That warm, tingly feeling seeped throughout my body and a strong sense of hope bubbled up inside my chest. My day was getting better by the minute.
I decided that I should write a note for Bella too. As I sat in Calculus, I quickly scrawled a few words on a blank page in my notebook. Once I had finished, I tore it out, nearly getting caught by the teacher, folded it and slipped it into my pocket for later. As soon as the bell sounded, I was out of my seat and into the hallway before anyone else, surprising even myself, as I was sitting towards the back and the door was at the front of the classroom.
I passed Bella's locker on the way to Government, so I took the note from my pocket and slipped it through the vents of the locker door. All I could do now was wait to see what her reaction was. I wasn't technically talking to her, per se; I was hoping writing didn't count. She wrote to me twice, so maybe if I wrote her only once it would be okay.
I was surprised by how fast the day flew by. Government, English and even Gym were over before I knew it, and I soon found myself entering the cafeteria for lunch. I joined the line at the food counter and found myself face to face with Jasper. He hadn't missed Alice's ecstatic mood this morning and he somehow knew it was something to do with me. Usually he would let me have my privacy, but his curiosity must have gotten the better of him, as he asked me what was going on. I told him it would have to wait until we were home, because I wasn't really comfortable with telling him in the middle of the cafeteria.
I joined my siblings for lunch instead of sitting at the other table. I knew for sure that Bella wasn't going to sit there, after all that had happened in the last few days. She wanted space for a while, and I could respect that.
Alice and Emmett had begun a heated discussion half way through lunch about Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie's upcoming graduation. Alice wanted to colour co-ordinate Emmett and Rosalie's clothing for them so they would match, which was fine, but they were disagreeing on the colour. Rosalie ignored them; she was too busy staring at me relentlessly with that smug grin on her face. She was creeping me out a little. Right before the bell rang however, she finally spoke.
"I know I seem uncaring towards you sometimes, but I really am happy for you, Edward."
It took me a few moments to get over the fact that Rosalie had just complimented me, before I found my voice.
"Thank you, Rosalie," I said, standing when the bell finally rang. I smiled at her for a moment, truly grateful for her sincerity, before heading off to Biology.
I was only seated at my desk in the Biology classroom for a few minutes before Bella entered and took her seat beside me. I looked at her expectantly for a few moments to see how she would react to the note I left in her locker. She didn't speak, but she slipped me a piece of paper that read, "Okay" and made a point of only taking her notebook from her book bag. I smiled triumphantly and pulled my textbook from my bag and sat it on the desk between the two of us.
I was electrically aware of her presence the entire lesson. I constantly gave her sideways glances, only to see that she was doing the same. I had the urge to reach out and touch her hand that was resting so casually on the desk in front of her, but I knew that if I did so, I could mess up the progress we'd made today. There was a moment when we'd both finished our work and were awaiting further instruction from Mr Banner, when I'd turned to look at her fully. It was a while before she noticed, but when she did, colour rose quickly to her cheeks and she glanced back down at her notebook with a confused expression on her face. Despite her odd reaction, I found her instant blushing to be adorable. I was also sort of smug that I could get that reaction out of her.
When there was five minutes left until the end of class, everyone was talking, having finished their work. Bella and I were the only exception – we sat in awkward silence, not knowing if we should speak or what to say if we did.
Upon hearing the bell ring, we slowly collected our belongings and walked to the door, side by side. Once we were out in the hallway, I gave Bella one last glance before sighing, waving and turning around to go to Spanish. I walked off sullenly down the hallway knowing that that would be the last interaction with Bella for the day.
"Edward!"
I was surprised when I heard my name and I turned back, shocked when I saw that it was Bella who called me and was stumbling through the flow of students to get to me. She had the most distraught look on her face, like she was about to cry.
"Bella, what is it?" I asked her, concerned, but I had to admit that it was a relief to finally speak to her. She wasted no time in replying.
"I can't do this anymore!" she blurted anxiously. All of the hope I had been feeling suddenly dropped to the pit of my stomach. She shook her head and gasped a few breaths before finding the ability to speak again. "I can't stand not talking, it's killing me."
I breathed a sigh of relief, having not noticed that I was holding my breath. For a moment I had thought Bella had changed her mind again.
"I'm so sorry, Edward," she said then. "This is entirely my fault. I should've just-"
I cut her off by placing my hand over her mouth. A shock was sent straight up my arm from the contact and Bella's eyes widened in surprise.
"No, Bella. This wasn't only your fault. I had a part in it too. We're both to blame and we're both sorry, let's leave it at that."
She stood still, studying my face for a moment before nodding. I let my hand drop and I smiled.
"I missed you," I said simply. I watched as the blush engulfed her cheeks once again.
"I – I missed you, too," she replied quietly.
Somebody rushed past me, bumping me slightly and I realised that the hallway was now almost deserted. Just as I was wondering what idiot would be too lazy to go around Bella and I when there was the rest of the hallway to walk down, I realised it was Mike and he'd most likely done it on purpose.
"We'd better get to class," I said, not really wanting to leave, but also not wanting to miss another Spanish class this week. We said our goodbyes and headed in opposite directions down the hallway.
I felt light-headed the rest of the afternoon. I barely paid attention in Spanish and I only realised that class was over when Emmett practically reamed me in the head with his backpack when the bell finally rang.
I walked with Emmett to the parking lot, as everyone had caught a lift with me in my Volvo today, but I noticed Bella on the way to her truck, so I made a detour, telling Emmett that I'd be back in a few minutes. I jogged to catch up with her, calling her name. She turned and stopped to wait for me.
"I wanted to ask you something," I said, jumping straight to the point. "Esme mentioned the other day that you are welcome to come for lunch this Saturday, if you're up for it?" I said, making it more of a question. I waited for her to think for a moment, not expecting an answer straight away, but she surprised me when she agreed in little more than a few milliseconds.
"Sure, I'd love to," she said, nodding in agreement. "Charlie's going fishing again and it will be nice to get out of the house."
I gave her an amused half smile, thinking the way she said that Charlie was fishing made it sound like it was nothing new to her. I gazed at her for a moment, but I noticed after a while that Bella was staring strangely at me, her eyes glazed over. I cleared my throat, feeling a little awkward. She blinked and turned her eyes to the ground, her face turning that rosy pink that I'd gotten accustomed to seeing.
"Um... so, I'll see you tomorrow," she mumbled, reaching into her backpack for her keys, which she pulled out a moment later.
"Yeah, absolutely," I replied as she opened the door of the truck. We stood there for a while, not really knowing how to bid each other farewell. Eventually, I stuffed my hands into my pockets and shuffled my feet a little, while she tossed her book bag onto the passenger seat of the truck.
"...Bye," she said eventually, waving and climbing into the beat up old Chevy.
"Bye," I replied, but stood unmoving as she closed the door and started the engine. She glanced up at me one last time before shifting into reverse and backing out of the space. I walked backwards a few paces, not letting my eyes wander away from her, but as she shifted gears again and drove towards the exit of the lot, I turned and made my way to my own car – only to find that all four of my siblings had witnessed the entire scene.
And then to find that I really didn't care what they thought.
Friday was almost back to normal. Bella and I spoke to each other in the hallways between classes and sat apart from others during lunch – Alice gave us some space, which I was thankful for. Biology was another matter completely… we were given a pop quiz, so we couldn't speak to one another, but the electric feeling was back and stronger than it had been the day before. I was paying more attention to Bella than I was to my quiz – every time she tucked her hair behind her ear, every sigh and every scratch of her pen on the paper.
I managed to focus enough to write an answer for all questions… whether they were the right answers, I wouldn't know until I got the quiz back.
After Biology, Bella and I headed off to our final classes for the day, bidding each other a brief farewell. Although I was hoping to bump into Bella after class, it just didn't happen.
X
Come Saturday, I managed to wake up before Alice had the chance to barge on in and jump all over my bed again. I rolled over to glance at the clock and I groaned at the early hour. I realised that, filtering in through the curtained windows, was the dull pre-dawn light. I guess I was anticipating today a little more than I thought.
I tried to go back to sleep, but after half an hour just laying in bed with my eyes closed and the covers pulled up over my head, I became frustrated and got up for a shower.
I made some toast for breakfast and sat down at the island bar and gazed out the window. There were the usual grey clouds looming overhead, but there was a strong wind too, stronger than usual.
I went into the living room and turned the television on. I flicked through the stations until I found a weather report. As it turns out, there was a storm on the way, supposed to hit in the late evening.
I continued flicking through the stations, trying to find something to watch, but nothing grabbed my interest. I flicked the TV off and stood to head back upstairs just in time to see Emmett sliding down the staircase banister.
"You're going to fall off that thing one day," I joked. The day Emmett falls off the banister, would be the day I dye my hair pink – never going to happen.
"You're up early," he replied. I chuckled at him.
"So are you. It's only seven."
"Yeah, well I only just woke up. I'm still in my pyjamas and all. You've already showered. What's the matter? Excited to see Isabella?" Emmett taunted.
"At least I'm excited to see her. You don't seem that excited to see Rosalie every morning," I shot back. The grin dropped from his face and just as he was about to retaliate, we heard someone from the top of the stairs.
"As much as I hate to agree with him, he has a damn good point, Emmett!" Rosalie said descending the stairs, still wearing her night clothes and some rather unglamorous bed hair. Emmett's mouth opened and closed like he was trying to say something, but words seemed to fail him. I thought he'd given up, but of course, Emmett is never left speechless for long.
"Rose! It's Rose! Come here babe and let your man show you some lovin'!" Emmett bounded up the remaining stairs and wrapped his arms around Rosalie and dipped her backwards and began kissing all over her face until she started giggling.
"Okay, okay, get off me you big oaf, before you drop me down the stairs," Rosalie said as she pushed him back so she could stand up straight. "You're such a suck-up."
"Yeah, but you love it," Emmett replied, grinning. I rolled my eyes at the two of them, considering telling them to get a room.
"You kids are up early."
I looked past Rosalie and Emmett to see Carlisle at the top of the stairs, fully dressed in his usual hospital attire.
"You're working?" I asked, knowing that Carlisle was supposed to have the day off.
"Yes, but just until mid-afternoon. Dr Matthews called half an hour ago and cashed in a favour I owed him. He's going away for a few days and due to the storm that's coming he booked an earlier flight out of Seattle," he replied, descending the stairs quickly, sidestepping Rosalie and Emmett who had not budged. "You know, Edward, I was looking forward to seeing Bella outside of work."
I nodded. I was also a little disappointed that he wouldn't get to see Bella today. Knowing her as her doctor was one thing, knowing her as his son's friend was a different matter entirely, and I wanted Carlisle to know Bella as my friend, not as his patient.
I said goodbye to Carlisle and headed up the stairs. When I walked past Jasper's room, I couldn't help but chuckle at his hearty snores. He was so loud, I was surprised Alice hadn't been woken by them in her room across the hall and gone and socked him over the head with a pillow to shut him up. At least some people managed to sleep in.
I had just opened the door of my room and found Alice sitting on my black leather sofa, her legs pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around her legs and her chin resting on her knees. Her hair was a mess and she had dark rings under downcast eyes, her face was pinched and she looked like she hadn't slept.
"Alice?" I asked, concerned. There had only been one other time that I'd seen her like this, and it hadn't been good the last time. She immediately shifted her posture – unravelling her legs and wrapping her arms around her chest instead as she gazed worriedly up at me.
"I have a really bad feeling," she said. "And it's making me have a weird urge to cry." Her voice was shaking and her breathing was uneven. I walked over and sat beside her on the sofa.
"I'm sure everything's going to be okay, Alice." I tried to keep her calm. I didn't like seeing my little sister cry, especially since she was such a peppy person, day in and day out.
"No, no it's not! Something's going to happen, I know it!" she fired back loudly. Her outburst startled me and I flinched.
"What's going to happen, Alice?" I asked, looking her in the eyes and frowning. She sighed.
"I don't know," she replied quietly. Something in her voice sounded so helpless.
"You don't know?"
"I don't know!" Her voice had risen again and she placed her hands over her face. She was straining against tears, I could tell.
"What's going on? Alice?" Jasper had appeared in the doorway, with messy hair and shirtless. He was breathing like he'd just run up the stairs two at a time. He quickly walked into the room and took a seat on the other side of Alice. "Alice?" he asked quietly. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back soothingly as she rested her head on his chest. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"
Alice sniffed before replying. "I barely slept last night. But I woke up at about five this morning and I had a really bad feeling. Do you remember the last time it happened, with Maria?"
I saw Jasper's jaw tighten, eyes darken and hands clench into firm fists. Nobody liked mentioning Maria if they could help it, especially after what she did to Jasper.
"Yeah, I remember," he said, his Southern accent coming out just a little thicker with the memories… or possibly lack of. I wondered if he really remembered, or if he just remembered what we'd told him.
"This time it's about Bella and Edward," Alice said.
She didn't mention that before. I felt a weight settle in the pit of my stomach.
"That's why you came up here instead of coming to me?" Jasper asked, understanding. Alice nodded.
"And you were asleep. I didn't want to wake you," she said quietly. Jasper, though still tense, placed a hand gently on her cheek.
"Now, you know that's nonsense. You can wake me up any time you need to. You're much more important to me," he replied. He leaned down to kiss her and I suddenly felt like an intruder in my own bedroom. I looked away and cleared my throat. I heard Jasper chuckle. "Sorry," he said. Alice giggled. We sat for a few moments not speaking, just thinking.
"So what do we do now?" Jasper asked.
"What can we do? We don't know what's going to happen to prevent it," I replied. Alice's intuition only went so far. It was times like these when I wish there was more.
"Well, I know what Alice can do," Jasper said. Alice looked up at him with a confused look. "Alice can go right on back to bed and get some more sleep." He stood and pulled her onto her feet. He steered her toward the door and she didn't resist. If she had, I'd have sided with Jasper and told her to go back to bed. She looked a mess. Jasper told her he would be down in a minute and stayed behind with me for a bit.
"So what do you think is going to happen?" he asked. I shook my head.
"I don't know. I just hope it's not as bad as the last time," I replied. I sighed, stood up from where I sat on the couch, walked over to my bed and flopped down on my back. Jasper chuckled.
"It can't possibly be as bad as last time, Maria isn't involved," he said. I guess he was trying to lighten the mood. I propped myself up on my elbows and looked over at him.
"I walked past your room literally two minutes before you came up here and you were snoring. How the hell did you wake up?"
He grinned sheepishly. "It's entirely possible that I woke myself up."
I snorted with laughter and Jasper turned, chuckling and left to catch up with Alice. Even though that scenario was probable for most people, I knew that with Jasper, it simply wasn't the case. He always managed to sense heightened emotion, no matter where or what he was doing at the time – even while he was asleep.
Most of the rest of the morning was uneventful. I basically practiced the new song on the piano until I heard Bella's truck rumble up our drive at about a quarter to eleven, at which time, I went out to greet her.
As Bella had already climbed out of the cab of her truck, I leaned against the post at the top of the steps on the porch. The gravel crunched dully under her feet as she made her way over to me. I smiled and said hello.
"Hey," she said, before she bit lightly on her bottom lip.
"How are you?" I asked as she ascended the steps onto the porch.
"I'm fine. How are you?"
"I'm glad you're finally here," I blurted. Bella's cheeks flushed red and I chuckled. "Everyone's been kinda bored today. Rosalie's even taken to watching Spanish soaps," I explained, hoping to sound a little less fervent. There was no need to sound so anxious.
"Oh," Bella replied lightly. We stood there on the porch before I found my motor skills again.
"Let's go inside. I know Esme wants to see you again," I said, and led Bella inside. Esme was in the living room, fixing some of her floral arrangements. She looked up as we entered and smiled widely. She stopped what she was doing and walked swiftly over to Bella and I.
"Bella, it's wonderful to see you again. How are you?" She pulled Bella into a hug. It was amusing to see the shocked look on Bella's face. She certainly wasn't used to such open warmth from people she barely knew. "I'm sorry Carlisle couldn't be here today, as expected. He was called into the hospital this morning to fill in for a colleague."
"I'm sure there'll be another time," Bella replied, smiling slightly. "Those flowers are beautiful, Esme." Bella indicated towards the vase Esme had been fixing as we walked in.
"Thank you, Bella. They're freesias. They have a beautiful scent and they add a bit of colour to the walls," Esme chuckled, having just made a joke. The freesias were white, but noticeable against the starkness of the walls, adding more of a cream colour, rather than blending in completely. I rolled my eyes, but Bella walked right up to the nearest vase and smelled the flowers. She hummed and turned to me, her face lit up.
"Edward, have you smelled these?" she asked. I felt a little put on the spot. I lived in the house and I hadn't bothered to appreciate the effort Esme put into making the house a home. Smelling decorative flowers was one of the things I'd taken for granted, obviously. I cleared my throat.
"Uh, no actually, I haven't," I said as I smiled sheepishly at Esme. I was thankful that she just smiled back.
"Come on," Bella said then, waving me over to her. "You have to smell these."
I shuffled over to her and tentatively sniffed at the flora.
"Yep, smells like flowers to me," I stated, shrugging. They did. Don't all flowers smell the same?
"Oh my goodness, Edward!" Esme said, aghast. "You really are more like Carlisle than you give yourself credit for."
What did she mean by that?
Bella laughed. "It's not just Edward and Carlisle… it's more like the entire male population – those ignorant of floral life, at least."
I was almost appeased by that, had Bella not just called me ignorant.
"Hey!" I said to her, frowning.
"Oh, Edward, don't be so sensitive," Esme rebutted. "It's a universal truth." She laughed then.
"What is this? Gang-up-on-me day?" I asked. "Women are so cruel." I shook my head and turned to walk away from the both of them. I heard both Bella and Esme laugh, knowing I wasn't serious. I moved to the piano and sat on the stool. I began playing a few warm up bars, but was immediately interrupted.
"Oh, come on!" Rosalie said from the sofa. She and Emmett were watching television. "I thought I'd get a break from that thing when she got here. I can't hear the TV over it." She huffed and stood. "Come on, Emmett, we'll probably be better off watching this in my room."
"You two leave the door ajar, you know the rules," Esme said sternly. Rosalie rolled her eyes as Emmett trailed after her grinning.
"Aw, spoil our fun," he joked. Esme pursed her lips at him, knowing he was kidding, but letting him know that she was serious.
I continued playing, changing the melody into Esme's favourite. She sighed and her serious face softened. She smiled as a 'thank you' before moving off into the kitchen. Bella came to sit beside me at the piano.
"You Cullens are weird," Bella stated. I paused playing, chuckling.
"How would you ever come to that conclusion?" I asked hypothetically, grinning. Bella laughed.
And for a split second, her happiness was completely genuine, unrestricted, a sliver of what I'd seen in the photograph in Bella's home. It made me happier to see that being in my home made her more relaxed and carefree. I hadn't missed the way her face lit up over those freesias. I was beginning to see the real Bella.
"You really think all flowers smell the same?" Bella asked after a moment. I chuckled.
"To be honest, I've never taken the time to go around smelling different flowers," I explained. "But how are freesias different from others?"
"Well, it's not about how they're different – it's all about personal opinion. It's like having a favourite food. You can rave over one dish, while others don't see the appeal like you do," she said.
"So freesias are like that to you?" I asked.
"Exactly." She glanced down at the black and white keys and reached to gently press a few notes. They were nothing I'd heard before, but they still sounded beautiful.
"Is that an actual song?" I asked her. She stopped and looked up at me for a moment.
"No. Just random notes."
"We'll make a pianist out of you yet," I said grinning. "It sounded nice."
"Bella!"
Alice had appeared at the top of the stairs. She quickly descended the whole flight and she was soon right beside Bella and I. She hugged Bella briefly before perching herself on a chair sitting nearby.
"I see you're feeling better, Alice," I said to her. She grimaced.
"Well, not really, but we'll pretend otherwise. I got some more sleep at least. How are you, Bella?"
"I'm fine. Alice, I'm sorry about this week. I-"
"Oh, no you don't! No apologising. I understand completely," Alice reprimanded. "You hit a rough patch, we all have those."
"Alice actually had one this morning," I said to Bella. She frowned.
"Are you okay?" she asked Alice, who huffed.
"I just said no. But forget it, because I don't want to be a downer today," Alice replied hastily. "Let's have some fun!" She pulled Bella up off the piano stool.
Great, if there's one thing I didn't want Alice to say, it's that. Alice's form of fun often means something involving clothing or make-up.
"I propose we play some baseball!" Alice announced after a moment, her arms flung into the air, surprising me completely. It had been a while since we played, and now that Alice had brought it up, it really did sound like a good idea.
"Not until after lunch, Alice," Esme called through the kitchen doorway. "It will be ready soon."
Alice huffed in a deflated way, her arms flopped down to her sides and she half rolled her eyes.
"Fine," she said loud enough for Esme to hear, who replied with a polite thank you.
I snickered.
"Great, what are we going to do in the meantime?" Alice said then. She thought for only a second or two. "Bella!" she gasped, "You haven't met Diego!"
Bella frowned when Alice began leading her towards the stairs, tugging her along by the wrist.
"Who's Diego?" Bella asked and Alice laughed.
"Just the cutest little tabby kitten you've ever seen! Aren't you coming Edward?" Alice asked me over her shoulder. I thought for a second.
"No, its okay, you and Bella go. I'm going to practice that new song a little longer," I explained. Alice threw me a wink from half way up the stairs and soon enough, she and Bella were out of sight.
BPOV
Alice led me down the hallway past the other rooms, before opening her bedroom door and entering. It was only then that she let my wrist go, and I had to rub where her tight grip had all but cut off the circulation to my hand. She called Diego's name and a movement on Alice's bed – a tiny grey and black striped head popping up – caught my attention. Diego stood up and attempted to jump off Alice's bed, but seeing how far below the floor was, thought better of it.
"Oh, no silly, you're much too little to go jumping from that height," Alice said in a sing-song voice and scooped Diego up into her arms. She sat down on her bed and patted the duvet beside her. I sat beside her and she passed Diego to me. I wasn't used to being around pets because Phil was allergic. Gran had a little white Shih Tzu when I was a kid, but other than that, we never really had a pet.
"So where did you get him?" I asked Alice. She grinned.
"In Seattle. Jasper and I were shopping and on the way to the car, we could hear him near an alley. The poor little thing was soaked. He didn't have a collar or a microchip, so I got to keep him."
I sat talking to Alice for a lot longer than I'd expected. She talked so fast, I found myself concentrating to keep up. After a while, I told her I was going back downstairs to talk to Edward. She didn't mind in the slightest, so she happily nodded and told me I'd see her when lunch was ready.
As I pulled her bedroom door shut and made my way down the hall, I could hear Emmett's voice trailing out of Rosalie's bedroom. I paused near the door, though I could not see either Emmett or Rosalie through the tiny gap in the door.
"But I don't get why he shouldn't love her, I mean, she's an alright girl. She makes a lot of mistakes, sure, but he can't hold that against her."
I heard a huff and Rosalie spoke.
"Those mistakes aren't mistakes. She knows exactly what she's doing. I can't believe you don't see that. She's been lying to him from the beginning."
There was a slight pause before anyone spoke again.
"She can't hear, right?" Emmett asked.
"No, she's in the next room," Rosalie replied.
"Oh, good. Coz for a minute there, I thought she was eavesdropping," Emmett chuckled.
I frowned. Who were they talking about?
"Hey, I just realised, the word 'beautiful' in Spanish is bella," Emmett said, sounding proud of himself.
"Jesus, Emmett, you'd already know that if you paid attention in Spanish class. And if you think you can get away with calling her bella from now on, knowing what you now know, you've got another thing coming. You say her proper name from now on."
"Aw, what's the matter, babe… jealous?" Emmett ribbed.
I heard a slap and a grunt, but that couldn't distract me from my thoughts. I felt suddenly self-conscious – they were talking about me.
"I still don't understand why she just won't tell him," Emmett sighed. "It's not like he's going to hate her."
"He should. She's been keeping too many secrets from him. I don't know how he can even be her friend. I hate how he knows she's keeping secrets and letting her get away with it. He deserves better."
I'd had enough at this point, when my eyes began to water. I swiped at the tears with my sleeves, shocked and tried not to stumble down the stairs as I made my way to the living room. I took a deep breath and glanced about the room, glad that Edward had not looked up from the piano yet. He wasn't playing, but was writing in a notebook sitting above the keys. I put the practiced smile on my face, hoping that it would at least look authentic.
I made my way slowly over to the piano and Edward finally looked up. He smiled widely at me and I tried to do the same. His eyes probed mine subtly and I immediately wondered if he could tell I was upset.
"Bella, Edward, lunch is on the table," Esme said, walking out of the dining room. "I'll just go and call the others down and then we can eat."
Edward and I mumbled "Okay," before making our way to the dining room. We took our seats beside one another. I sighed. Edward knew something was wrong; he'd gone silent.
"Are you okay, Bella?" he asked finally.
"I, uh… yeah, I'm okay, I guess," I replied hesitantly. I stared down at the surface of the antique dining table, not wanting to meet his eyes. When he stayed silent, I couldn't help but look to see if he was okay.
The look on his face took my breath away. He was not mad or upset, but calm, tranquil; he had the most endearing look on his face, so full of utter concern, but at the same time, he wasn't frowning, and he wasn't smiling; he was completely expressionless, his emotions captured and held entirely in his eyes.
And his eyes said nothing but that which I recognised as… love.
My heart thudded erratically in my chest, my eyes struggled to look away. It took me a while to realise that I didn't want to.
I'd never felt that before. Or, maybe I had and just didn't realise it. Isn't this the way I always was around Edward? So why was I only just taking notice now? What exactly was this? Was this me acknowledging that I had finally… fallen in love?
I was suddenly exhilarated. This was new territory for me. The only people I had ever let love me recently were family members. I had even made a promise to myself that I wouldn't allow myself to get close to anyone, yet here I am, sitting with Edward and realising that if I had pushed him away, I would probably still be the empty person I was when I left Phoenix.
But I had not forgotten what Rosalie had just said upstairs. I was keeping secrets, lying to Edward almost every day… Hadn't I just said I was okay, when clearly I wasn't? He knew I was lying to him, and yet here he is, still being my friend.
Rosalie was right – he deserved better.
I forced myself to look away, even though it pained me to do it. It was then when everyone else entered the room and took their seats at the table. I tried to hide behind a smile again, but I knew it wasn't working when Edward reached under the table and took my hand in his.
EPOV
It hurt, knowing that Bella was upset about something, but she wouldn't tell me what had her so distressed. I can't tell now, if this was something to do with her past, because her whole demeanour has changed. It seemed like this was about another thing entirely.
Lunch went smoother than the last time. Rosalie was at least civil and Emmett wasn't pouting. I held Bella's hand the whole time, after once trying to let go and she tightened her grip.
Alice all but forced everyone to play baseball in the back yard, though out near the trees so that the ball wouldn't go crashing through one of the huge glass panels on the back wall of the house. Bella reluctantly stepped up to bat, trying to talk Alice into letting her sit out of the game, to no avail. Jasper gave her an easy pitch, she swung a split second too early and the ball hit her square in the forehead. Only then did Alice let her sit out, apologising profusely.
Bella and I decided to go back indoors. The weather was cooling down dramatically and neither of us was as game as the others anyway. I decided then that I wanted to show Bella the new song I wrote. I led her to the piano and we sat side by side as before and I began to play.
"This song is beautiful, Edward," Bella said halfway through the composition. I smiled widely, glad that she liked it.
"Thank you Bella, but it's nowhere near as beautiful as the person I wrote it for," I replied, hoping she'd catch on.
"Esme?" she asked and I couldn't help but laugh. I played a little softer.
"No, Bella," I turned my head to look at her. "You." Bella stared at me for a moment, a little shocked it seemed, and I swore I could see the tell tale signs of tears. I got lost in her chocolate gaze and I forgot about the song entirely and my hands stilled.
We sat like that for a while, just looking at each other.
"Thank you, Edward," Bella whispered, breaking the silence. I reached up slowly and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"You're welcome," I replied, just as quietly. Then there was more silence.
I leaned in slowly, gauging Bella's reaction. I saw her eyes flick down, then back up again.
I leaned further…
And further…
Within millimetres of our lips touching, Bella gasped and pulled back suddenly.
"What are you doing?" she asked, panicked. I frowned, not understanding what had just happened. She looked downright afraid, petrified. She began shaking her head from side to side. "No, I don't want this. I can't! I told myself I wouldn't…"
"Bella? What's the matter? What's going on?" I asked, alarmed. Bella stood and backed away from me, stumbling over her feet.
"I can't do this, not again," she said, her voice shaking and her breathing rapid. "This whole thing is a lie! You shouldn't – I'm not good enough for you!" She turned abruptly and ran towards the door.
"What? Bella, wait-" I started, but Bella wasn't going to stop. She grabbed her coat from the hook at the door and was outside before I could catch up. She slammed the door in my face and I could hear her fading footsteps making their way quickly towards her truck. I opened the door, just in time to see her slam the truck's door shut with a metallic bang and fire up the engine. I stood on the steps watching her leave.
The others found me a few minutes later sitting on the steps, slumped against the handrail, having heard Bella's truck leaving.
"Edward, where did Bella go?" Alice asked, standing at the top of the steps, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie behind her, Esme sitting beside me on the step.
"Home, I guess," I said shrugging. "She just freaked and took off."
"What startled her?" Esme asked me softly. I glanced at her, before looking at everyone else. I fidgeted.
"I just played the new song for her and told her she inspired it. She loved it. But then we had a moment… She seemed to catch herself at the last possible second and ran from the house, saying things like 'I can't do this' and 'I'm not good enough for you'." I stared out down the driveway as far as I could see, thinking to myself. "Where would she even get that idea?" I huffed.
I heard a voice clear behind me.
"She didn't happen to be upstairs earlier by any chance?" Rosalie asked. I turned so that I could see her properly. She looked awfully guilty about something.
"As a matter of fact, she did," I replied, my voice flat. I had a feeling I knew where this was going. "What do you know, Rosalie?"
"Emmett and I were talking about the Spanish programme we were watching. We weren't really being nice about it," she said. She turned to Emmett. "I told you I heard someone in the hallway."
I hoisted myself up onto my feet, using the handrail for leverage, and went up the steps.
"What exactly did you say? Do you remember?" I asked, curious now, to hear the words that had affected Bella so deeply. Rosalie rolled her eyes.
"I was saying to Em that one character, Alejandro, shouldn't love Elena because she was lying and keeping secrets from him. I said that he deserved better."
I let out a frustrated noise and pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger.
"I can hardly be blamed for this," Rosalie said then, "She was eavesdropping. And why did she take it to heart if she wasn't guilty?"
I glared at her, astounded that she had the audacity to try to put the fault elsewhere. I wasn't going to blame her at all, but now that she had said that, I was quite happy to lay the blame on her.
"Rose, that's enough," Esme said then. She was now standing beside me and putting an arm around my shoulder. "Come back inside out of this cold at least. I'm sure Bella has gone home. Give her some time and ring her later and tell her she has nothing to worry about." Esme steered me inside and let me go as soon as we were through the door. I walked over to the nearest sofa, sat down and pulled my cell phone from my pocket. I rested it on my knee, ready to call Bella as soon as she'd had enough time to make it home. However, Esme swiftly swept it away and tucked it into her own pocket.
"I'll let you call her when I think she's had time to settle down. Don't be too hasty, Edward. You might scare her more." And with that, she turned and made her way back into the kitchen to finish cleaning up after lunch.
I sat for what seemed like hours, glancing up at the clock every so often to find that only a few minutes had passed. One knee began bouncing impatiently.
I was so lost in my reverie and glaring blankly at the clock, I jumped when the phone rang about an hour and a half later. Esme appeared in the living room and picked up the receiver.
"Cullen residence," she said politely. She listened for a few moments and as her expression changed, I became more alert. "Oh goodness," she said. "Is there anything we can do?"
There was a longer pause this time and I was growing more anxious with each lagging second.
"Oh, in that case, maybe the best thing to do is wait until you get a call." Another pause. "Alright, I'll tell him. I assure you, he meant no harm. I'm certain he'll be willing to help in any way possible," Esme continued. There was one last pause, then "Thank you, Chief Swan."
Before Esme had replaced the receiver onto the hook, I was up out of my seat and demanding to know what had happened.
"Calm down, Edward, getting worked up is not going to help anyone."
"Esme, please, just tell me what's happened. Is she okay?" I asked.
"She's fine," she replied. She directed me back over to the sofa and sat down beside me. "As soon as she got home, she packed a bag and left."
"WHAT?" I almost yelled it, not meaning to be so loud, but this news had taken me off guard. I stared at Esme, seeking further explanation.
"Honey, calm down. I told you, she's alright," she said softly.
"So she's just gone? She packed up and left, just like that? And I'm supposed to sit here and do nothing? I have to get out there, I have to find her." I was rambling now, struggling against Esme's grip holding me in my seat.
"Her father has assured me that she will most likely call from wherever she ends up. When he receives the call, he'll go and pick her up, but for now we just have to hold tight and trust that he knows what Bella will do," Esme said then, her voice soothing. I thought about that for a moment.
"But that's the thing, I don't think he does," I replied, trying to keep myself at ease. "Bella's stubborn. If she wants to leave, there's no way she's going to tell him where she's gone."
Esme's eyes studied mine for a while, eventually realising that I was right. I knew Bella better than her own father did. So that meant that we had to step in if we were going to get Bella back home, where she'll be safe.
Alice reappeared then, having been using a computer on the other side of the room, out of sight from where Esme and I sat.
"So how do we find her if we don't have any leads?" she asked, looking worried. I thought for a moment. Where would Bella go if she wanted to get away from Forks?
"We have one clue, though it may not help much. It's a matter of where she wouldn't go. She won't go south. She won't go anywhere near Arizona," I said. Living on the Olympic Peninsula had its advantages, meaning she couldn't go west either.
"She'll most likely head east on the one oh one. It's the fastest route to anywhere out of here," Alice added. I nodded. But heading east meant she could be headed for Seattle.
"What if she's headed for Sea-Tac?" Esme asked, following the same train of thought as I. "She could catch a flight to New York for all we know." I finally shook my head, disagreeing.
"It's possible, but I don't think she'd leave her truck, she loves it too much. But she probably won't get too far in a hurry, it's an old vehicle, it doesn't get the mileage," I said.
"Okay, I get that Bella's up and gone, but why didn't Charlie stop her?" Alice asked, and I stopped, completely stumped. That was a damn good question.
"I can answer that," Esme replied. "Charlie didn't actually see Bella. He found a note on the kitchen table. She'd already gone when he returned home."
I nodded and mentally slapped myself. Bella had told me Charlie was fishing today. She had no one to talk her down when she arrived home.
"Chief Swan said we should hang tight until he has further news and I agree. Rash decisions aren't going to help in a situation like this," Esme said.
"But I can't just sit here," I said dejectedly and slumped down on the sofa. I felt Esme's hand on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry, honey," she said.
We were both surprised when the front door opened and Carlisle walked in. He hung up his coat and put his suitcase down by the door. When he turned, he was smiling, but it gave way quickly to a frown.
"Is everything alright?" he asked, pacing over to Esme and I.
"We just got a call from Chief Swan. Bella packed a bag and left Forks," Esme told him. He stopped halfway across the room and his face clouded with a look of utter concentration.
"Edward," he said after a few moments. "Can I talk to you in my office please?"
I frowned. He never asks me to talk in his office. The last time he did, I was thirteen and it was because I was in trouble for accidentally on purpose kicking Emmett in the balls. He gave me a lecture on the long term damage I could've caused.
I stood up hesitantly and followed Carlisle up the stairs.
When we entered his office, Carlisle shut the door behind him and put his hands on my shoulders so that I could look him in the eye.
"Edward, I'm about to break about fifty rules right now. Do you promise me you won't repeat any of what I'm about to tell you?"
I stared at him for a few moments, wondering what he was talking about. I nodded and said, "I promise."
"Good. I'm about to tell you some things about Bella that breaks the doctor patient confidentiality code. Before Bella came to Forks, she was taking anti-depressants. When she came to see me the other day, I noticed that she'd been taking less than the prescribed dose. However, I renewed her prescription – Paroxetine – which is helpful if taken in the prescribed doses, but can be very dangerous if more than the recommended dose is taken. Edward, we don't know what frame of mind Bella is in. She is at high risk of doing something that can harm her or worse… I want you to try to find her. She won't be far with that storm on the way."
"Storm?" I exclaimed. I'd completely forgotten about it.
"A severe one, that's why I had to fill in for Dr Matthews today. There's no flights in or out of Seattle for the rest of the day. I want you to be very careful, Edward. Don't get too hasty on the roads. I don't want you in the hospital because you've wrapped your car around a tree. Now go. And keep in touch. I want you to call us every hour or so."
Just as he was pushing me out the door, a thought popped into my head. "Just, before I go, why are you asking me? I would've demanded to be the one looking for her anyway, but why not you or Chief Swan?"
"You know Bella a lot better than I do and if Chief Swan knew where she'd be, he'd already be out looking for her. As it is, he is not and she knows you, Edward. She probably trusts you more as well. Go!"
He didn't have to tell me again. I took off towards the third floor to get an extra set of clothes from my room, just in case. I grabbed my backpack and emptied the contents onto my bedroom floor and immediately tore open drawers and the closet, stuffing clothes hastily into the bag. I zipped it up and took off out of my room and down both flights of stairs. I grabbed my coat from the hanger and put it on before I opened the front door of the house. Esme was telling be to be careful when I closed the door.
The wind outside was already blowing heavily. I hadn't noticed due to being inside the whole time, but it was strong enough to make me stagger as I ran to my car. I got in, throwing the backpack onto the back seat. I started the engine and took off down the driveway with only the slightest chance of finding Bella by going off a hunch.
Would I find her? Would it be too late? Would she be harmed in any way?
I tightened my grip on the wheel and hoped like hell that she was okay.
A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait guys! I'm feeling a lot more creative all round lately, so hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. There is one more chapter and an epilogue for part one, then it's a break until part two. I have already made a start to the epilogue, so I will hopefully be able to post it with the next update. And about the second part… would you rather it in a separate sequel, or just continue updating this after the first part is done? I can't stress how much I need your opinions! I would like to do whatever is easiest for you!
People who review get a hug from shirtless Jasper!
It's almost 3am... I'm going to bed!