So I know it has been forever since my last update and I am really sorry. School started and it has been crazy busy! But here's another chapter! It's the first time I will be showing another characters point of view that is not Lucas or Peyton, so I hope you enjoy!
Peyton sat up in her bed and tried to catch her breath. She wiped away the tears that had fallen down her cheek. That dream she has about her mom from time to time made an appearance again. She tried to erase the images of her mom beginning to drive straight through the red light and a young image of herself running out into the street trying to stop her, but the crash still happened. She jumped as there was a crash of thunder and she looked out the window and saw the rain pouring down outside.
She lay back down on her bed and took a few deep breaths. She tried to think of happy thoughts. The thought of Lucas coming to her door last night and declaring that he was going to fight for her, she began to smile. That was the first time that Lucas had told her that he was still in love with her since their last time as a couple in L.A. She was excited at the idea of seeing him next and telling him how she felt.
But she knew that it wouldn't be that easy, even if it should be, there were too many answers she needed. But she also knew that if they were both honest with each other about everything, that they would make it. They had a bond that nothing had come between, no matter how close it seemed to almost end this past year. They had survived some of the biggest ups and downs that two people could experience and had always been there for each other, no matter what state their relationship was in. This she truly believed deep in her soul. She knew she would not be able to sleep no matter how much she tried so she got up and began to get ready for the day.
Lucas lie awake in his bed and listened to the rain fall down against the house. He wondered what she was dreaming about now. Maybe she was lying awake thinking about him. Maybe she was listening to the rain too. The thought of her made him excited, but extremely nervous. He knew that she didn't love Grant, but what if they were too far gone for her to ever forgive him? He believed that they could work out everything if they just talked about it all. He needed to explain everything; everything about Lindsey, L.A and these past few weeks. He wanted her to believe that he loved her more than anything and know that even when he has strayed from them, that her place in his heart has never been replaced. She will and forever be his Peyton; his true love always. He just hoped that she would give him a chance.
Peyton ran through the rain up to the Scott residence and rang the doorbell. It swung open and she smiled at the blonde haired, blue-eyed boy.
"Hi !" She laughed as Jamie held out his little hand for a high-five.
"You've been hanging out with Aunt Brooke too much." She said has she tapped his hand and gave him a hug.
"Why?" She looked into his confused eyes and smiled, about to respond when Haley walked in.
"James Lucas Scott, what did I say about those toys in the living room?" He looked back at Peyton and gave her a scared look before running to clean up. She laughed and looked over at Haley.
"Wow, you really are a mom." Haley laughed along and walked over to Peyton and gave her a hug.
"Thank you so much for doing this, Peyton. Nathan is at therapy and I had no one else to call."
"It is no problem, Haley. But what about Luke, where is he?" Peyton asked.
Haley looked away from her friend, and began walking into the kitchen; "Umm he said something about getting ready for the basketball charity event tomorrow night."
Peyton nodded, "Right, I forgot about that. So what are you up to?" Once again, Haley looked away as she answered, looking for her purse.
"I have to swing by the school because I forgot some papers to grade and then just running around town and figured it might get done a little quicker if I didn't have Jamie with me." Peyton opened her mouth to respond but was cut off, "Ok well thanks! I won't be more than 2 hours!" and with that Haley was out the door.
"Ok have fun." Peyton said to herself. She wondered if everything was ok with Haley. She rushed out of there in such a hurry that made Peyton wonder if something was up. All of sudden she heard a crash and turned around to see Jamie on the ground with a mask on.
"I did not see that wall there." Peyton burst out laughing and helped Jamie up and took off the helmet, " That's better." Peyton smiled, god she loved this kid.
"Haley!" Haley looked over and saw Lindsey waving her over to the table inside the restaurant. She smiled hesitantly. She honestly was not sure what to make of Lindsey's phone call, telling her that she was going to in town and wanted to have lunch together. She had become friends with Lindsey when her and Lucas were together, but now they weren't and Haley had also realized how much Peyton and Lucas loved each other. She didn't want this to make things more complicated for the two of them, after everything they had been through. But she walked towards Lindsey and gave her a friendly hug.
"How have you been?" She asked.
Lindsey smiled, "You know, I've been doing ok. I'm trying to move on, it's just been really hard."
Haley gave a grim smile and looked out the window. Lindsey cast her a confused glance.
"Haley? Are you ok? You seem kind of upset."
Haley looked back over at Lindsey; sweet Lindsey who never meant to hurt anyone. She really did like Lindsey, but couldn't help feel a little protective of her friends. Both Lucas and Peyton. "Lindsey, it's really good to see you, but if you don't mind me asking, what are doing back here?"
Lindsey looked hurt and then looked away. It was silent for a minute and Haley was going to apologize but Then Lindsey began to speak, "I'm not here to get him back if that's what you're thinking. I need to talk to him about business, about his new book." Haley could sense the anger in her voice and instantly became defensive, "And I thought it would be nice to see an old friend. But I guess since me and Lucas are no longer together, you don't want to have anything to do with me."
"Lindsey that's not it. I just did not know that you were still going to help him with his new book. But Lucas is my best friend and he was so confused and messed up after you left and I feel like he's finally in a good place and I just don't want him to get hurt again. And Peyton…" She knew right when she mentioned Peyton's name it was a mistake.
"Peyton? If you forgot Peyton was the reason I couldn't marry Lucas. Peyton was the bitch that was trying to steal away my fiancée!"
"Enough!" Haley raised her voice causing a few glances in their direction, and Lindsey to reel back surprised, " I defended you against Peyton many times. But you have no idea what Peyton has been through, Lindsey. And I will not sit here while you continue to bash her while she is at home watching my child and I had to lie to her about where I was going when she has been nothing but a great friend to me!"
They both stared at each other for what felt like eternity. Lindsey pushed away a few tears that had begun to form. She broke the silence, "Well I am just going to leave and finish up my business here." She got up and walked out.
Haley sighed and covered her face with her hands. It's not that she wanted to be rude to Lindsey, but Haley has seen how much Lucas and Peyton need each other and even though it might be taking them awhile, she knows that they will end up together. And Lindsey would not be doing any good to the situation. She gathered her things and walked out into the rain.
Peyton glanced at the clock again. 2:25. Haley had only been gone for 45 minutes, but already Peyton was feeling antsy. Not that she didn't love babysitting Jamie, but she had woken up with such conviction that she was ready to tell Lucas how she felt about everything and as the time went on, she was becoming more and more nervous and unsure. She just wanted Haley to get home so she didn't have an excuse for not talking to him as soon as she could.
"Peyton?" She turned her head and looked at Jamie who was staring at her with his big blue eyes.
"Yea Bud, what is it?"
"Are you and Uncle Luke in love?" her smile dropped in shock,
"What?"
"I was just wondering if you guys were. I know that he was supposed to marry Lindsey but I heard mommy talking to Aunt Brooke about how you guys were an epoc love story."
Peyton couldn't help but laugh, "I think you mean epic, and I don't know Jamie, it's confusing." She hoped that was enough, but could tell that Jamie wasn't done when she saw the confusion in his eyes,
"Yea, that's what Uncle Luke said too, but I'm pretty sure that he's in love with you and you're in love with him. So I think that you guys should get married. It seems like it's the right thing to do."
She smiled and scrunched up her nose against his, "Well aren't you mister smarty pants." He laughed as she began to tickle him.
"Stop Peyton!" She laughed and continued until she heard Haley,
"What's going on here mister Jamie?" Haley smiled at the two. Jamie pulled away from Peyton and ran to give him mom a hug.
"She was just tickling me."
"I can see that. Well what do you tell Peyton for watching you today?" He smiled and walked back over to Peyton and gave her a big hug,
"Thanks Peyton." She smiled and her heart melted as she heard the same advice he had given Luke a few weeks ago, "Just be happy." They pulled apart and he ran into the kitchen.
"Thank you so much again Peyton." Haley responded, but to Peyton it seemed as though she was kind of sad.
"Are you ok Haley? You seem… I don't know, kind of upset." She asked concerned.
"Nope I'm fine!" Haley put on a smile, "What do you have to do the rest of the day?" Peyton smiled,
"Well actually… I'm… I'm going to tell Lucas how I feel about everything." Haley's eyes widened,
"What exactly are you going to tell him?"
Peyton responded, "Well I guess the short version is that I'm in love with him and I want to be with him." She looked up hopeful at Haley, but was discouraged by the look she found there, "Haley, look I know that you are friends with Lindsey, and you haven't always been the biggest fan of mine and Luke's relationship in the past few months, but I love him more than anyone knows and no matter what crap we've been through, I want to work through it. Can you support that?"
Haley was silent for a moment, but said, "I support it Peyton, I just want to make sure you know what you're doing before you do anything. You know… just that… I just want you to be happy." Peyton smiled and walked over to her and pulled her into a hug.
"Thank you Haley, that means a lot. And I want to be happy too, and I think that this might be the first step." She pulled out of Haley's embrace and grabbed her bag, "Well wish me luck."
"Good luck. And be careful, the rain is really coming down out there." Peyton nodded and walked out.
Haley sighed, and thought that this was becoming a very interesting day.
Lucas opened the door to a very upset and wet Lindsey who walked right past him and inside the house,
"Hello to you too." He said sarcastically, but immediately noticed that this was not a time for jokes when he saw Lindsey's angry face.
"We have to talk about The Comet, ok?" She walked with ease through the house and found the kitchen table and sat down.
"Is everything ok? You seem mad about something." He hoped that she would not get mad with his curiosity, but once again it looked like he had said the wrong thing.
"Mad? Why would I be mad Lucas?" He looked at her in surprise by the anger her voice held, but she continued, "Maybe because my ex-fiancée wrote a another whole book about his ex-girlfriend right before we were about to get married. Or maybe because my ex-fiancé is still in love with his ex-girlfriend and as much as I tried he would never love me as much as he loves her!" By this point there were tears streaming down her face, "Or maybe because even one of my good friends thinks that I am still in love with him but that I should back off because he has a fucking epic love story with this stupid ex-girlfriend!"
She finally stopped yelling, and the only sound between the two ex-lovers was her heavy breathing.
"Lindsey…"
"No Luke, I don't want to talk about it. Can we please just get this over with?" She looked up at him, and he couldn't bear to make her anymore angry so he just nodded.
They discussed the book and only the book and then there was nothing left to discuss and it went back to the silence. He knew he needed to say something, but he couldn't find the words. How do you tell the women you almost married that all of her fears that she constantly brought to his attention were right?
But the silence was broken by her voice, "Luke, can you please just tell me something?" He locked his eyes with her pleading ones, "Do you love Peyton?"
"Yes" he said it slowly but he could tell it hurt her just the same, "But Lindsey, you have to know that it was never anything you did. You are an amazing person, and as much it sounds cliché, its true, because it was not you at all, it was all me. And trust me, I'm an idiot." She snickered softly and he smiled.
She met his eyes again, "You are not an idiot Luke. Well maybe you kind of are…" They both laughed, "But I'm an idiot too. I guess I always knew that you loved her, but I wanted it to work out so much between us that I ignored it over and over again and I somehow convinced myself that you really did love me."
He nodded and spoke softly, "I know me too."
"I mean, god, I even read The Comet and thought it was about me, but it is obviously about her. About how seeing her again made you feel alive and you realized that she was all you ever needed." He looked down, but felt her hand lift his chin, and they had locked eyes again.
"As much as this hurts me to say, you need to tell her how you feel; like really telling her, because you cannot keep torturing yourself Luke. Because it is obvious that she loves you too. And you deserve to be happy." A couple tears fell from her face, and Lucas brushed them off softly with his finger,
"You do too." He whispered, and followed her when she stood up to leave. She smiled and nodded at him and turned towards the door, but then turned back suddenly. She slowly brought her lips to his in a quick, innocent kiss. He softly smiled when they pulled apart, and she whispered,
"Goodbye Lucas." And with that she was out the door and he knew that it was over. They had both gotten their closure and he felt relieved. Even though he had already told Peyton how he felt, he knew that he needed this sort of approval by Lindsey to actually be with her. That is if Peyton felt the same way.
Peyton felt the tears form before she could stop them. What had she been thinking? God I am such an idiot. She wanted to move from the spot she stood from outside Lucas' window, but couldn't bring her feet to move. Lucas and Lindsey had just kissed in front of her and she felt her heart break into a million different pieces…again. Finally she moved towards her car and walked slowly through the rain; it ruined her hair and soaked her clothes, but she didn't even realize it. She got into her car and out of the rain. She tried to control her sobs, but it was failing miserably. She finally put the car in drive and started down the street.
She couldn't believe that she had believed his bullshit again. She had let herself believe that they would be together. She suddenly slammed on her breaks and knew what she had to do. She turned the car around, her heart racing fast and drove back towards Lucas' house. As she pulled into his driveway, her anger boiled more and more. She got back out into the rain and pounded on the door.
Lucas opened it and he looked at her in surprise and went to open his mouth, but she cut him off; no way was he going to get the first word.
"You are a lying asshole Lucas Scott! I hate you! You have broken my heart more than I can count now and I am not putting up with it again!" With that she turned around to leave, but only got a few steps when she felt Lucas grab her arm.
"Why the hell am I an asshole?" She could just hear him enough through the rain, and her only option was yelling so he could hear her answer loud and clear, but this didn't mean that she wouldn't have been yelling otherwise.
"Why?" He looked at her expectantly, his heart racing because even soaking wet, she still looked beautiful, but he could see the sadness in her eyes and he had to know what was wrong, "You come to my door last night with this romantic declaration and I, being the idiot, believed you AGAIN!"
Through the rain, he could see that she was crying, " I came here today and find you kissing Lindsey! It is just like after you kissed me and proposed to her!" By now she was sobbing and all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and take the pain away, but he figured that now was not the right time, "Why do I always, always believe that me and you can work out? Why am I always hoping that you are going to be different? That I'm actually going to be the one that you want to be with. And why do you always prove me wrong?"
He felt tears brimming at his eyes, after hearing the complete devastation in her voice, "Because I am in love with you, Peyton! Because when Lindsey was over here today it was just about my new book, and when you saw her kiss me it was because it was a goodbye kiss. She was telling me goodbye and telling me to be happy… with you!!"
Peyton stood there in shock, "And we will work out, you know we are meant for each other no matter what we go through!"
Peyton, still crying, responded softly, but just enough that Lucas could still hear her, "Lucas you keep saying this. God you keep making everything sound so easy, but the truth is I don't believe you." He let the tears fall down his face, hoping this was not happening, "How can I when you've proven it wrong over and over again? You left me in L.A without waiting for me to be ready. You kissed me and then proposed to another woman. Then you said 'I do' to another woman! I need something else besides you kissing me! Because that's not working. I just don't know if I can go through this again." She began backing up, shaking her head.
He grabbed her hand holding onto her, "Peyton…" Her small hand slipped out of hers and she shook her head,
"Bye Lucas."
He stood there in the rain and watched her drive away. He stood there in the rain for another half and hour after she was gone, crying softly. He stood there in the rain and figured out what he had to do.
Once Peyton got home, she felt like she was glass; that anything she touched was going to break her. Brooke was gone at Owens and she was glad because she did not feel like talking to anyone about what had just happened. She slowly made her way into a warm shower and it all hit her like a stone thrown through a window; the tears fell down her face.
After she made her way out of the shower she made her way down the stairs and saw Brooke standing there just staring back at her friend.
"Brooke, I really don't want to…" Se stopped as Brooke held out what looked like a manuscript, "What is this?"
"Remember how a few weeks ago I mentioned something about you being Lucas' comet?" Peyton slowly nodded, "Well I think you are going to need to read this."
Peyton slowly grabbed the papers and then noticed the note sitting on top of it with her name scribbled on the envelope. She looked up at Brooke and she just smiled at her and patted her on the shoulder and walked towards her room. Peyton moved to the couch and sat down, delicately opening the envelope.
Peyton-
I don't even know how to start this letter.
I want to tell you that I am in love with you. I am more in love with you then you'll ever know, and knowing that I have broken your heart breaks my heart.
When we broke up, I tried to consume myself with the book and work. And then I met Lindsey and started a relationship and in my selfish heart, I hoped that she would have taken your place because I couldn't get you out of my head and needed something to fill that void. But even though I did fall in love with her, it was nothing compared to the immensity of love I have felt for you ever since that day that we locked eyes.
When you kissed me at Tric all those months ago, it was like something clicked into place and I knew that even though I tried to have Lindsey fill your space in my heart, it had not happened and I knew that it never would. But that scared me so much, Peyt. Because you did hurt me and I was so scared that that was going to happen again. Because with Lindsey there really was no risk. So I proposed to her on a stupid whim, and tried to convince myself that was the right thing to do because it was the safe way.
But I think we both know that love is not love if there is no risk. And yes, it is a risk with you because nothing is ever boring or ordinary with us because you are the one that I want to spend forever with.
This is the book I recently wrote. I hope you are able to see how sincere I was about everything I am saying after you read it.
I will love you forever no matter what.
-Lucas
Peyton wiped the tears from her face and took a deep breath as she opened up to read the first page.
What did you guys think?! I hope this makes up for the long delay!!! Please review!!
Oh and I love Lucas and Peyton this season so much! Peyton better be pregnant, and not cancer!!