In My Life, I Love You More
by crystallicrain
December 31, 2015
Rachel hit the final note of the song, and everyone clapped and cheered. She bowed, jumping down the step and practically skipping over to Kurt and Blaine, who were sitting on the sofa together.
"Not a bad party, right?" she said, sitting beside Kurt.
"Better than your last, I have to say," he responded.
"Your turn Kurt!" Mercedes called out.
"If I must," he said with a grin, picking himself up off of the couch and making his way to the 'stage', glancing through Rachel's karaoke list.
"Having fun?" Rachel asked Blaine, and the boy smiled.
"But of course," he said.
Then, she leaned in closer to him. "And your plans for midnight?" she asked him.
"What—?"
"Well, you are going to kiss Kurt, aren't you?"
He sighed. "Only if he wants me to," he said. "I'm afraid he's gotten over me since Alex."
They glanced up as the music began, and Kurt started to sing.
"There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed," he sang, and Blaine smiled at the sound of his voice."Some forever not for better, some have gone, and some remain. All these places have their moments with lovers and friends I still can recall, some are dead and some are living. In my life I've loved them all."
There was a small pause before the next verse, and Kurt glanced up at Blaine during this time. He smiled before continuing.
"But of all these friends and lovers, there is no one compares with you, and these memories lose their meaning when I think of love as something new," he continued. "Though I know I'll never lose affection for people and things that went before, I know I'll often stop and think about them," he now glanced at Blaine. "In my life I love you more."
"Well," Rachel whispered over Kurt's singing, and Blaine turned to her to see that she was smiling smugly, "he's obviously completely over you."
The song finished and Blaine excused himself, making his way upstairs. He stopped in the kitchen, grabbing a drink and taking a deep breath.
"Hey." He turned around to see Finn, who was frowning slightly at him.
"Hey," he responded lamely.
Finn shoved his hands into his pockets. "So can you tell me what's going on between you and my brother?" he asked. Blaine opened his mouth stupidly, and Finn sighed. "I know I'm not smart, but I do know a few things. And one of those things is that Kurt sings the Beatles when he's really feeling something strong."
Blaine swallowed. "I know," he murmured. "But I... I honestly don't know what's going on between us."
"You do care about him, right?" Finn asked. "You really hurt him after high school, when you two broke up."
Blaine looked at him. "You do know that he broke up with me, right?" he asked cautiously, and Finn raised his eyebrows.
"Seriously?" he asked, and Blaine nodded. "I always assumed you did it. I guess I never asked. I just remember it was right after your dad had that talk with him."
Blaine's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"
"He never told you about that?" Finn inquired, and Blaine shook his head. "I figured it had something to do with the breakup."
Blaine frowned, considering Finn's words. "Hey, thanks for telling me," he said. "I... I've gotta go find Kurt."
He walked swiftly past Finn, and nearly ran into the boy he was searching for at the top of the basement stairs. "Hey," he said with a grin. "I was just looking for you."
"I was just looking for you, too," Blaine responded. "Can we... can we talk?"
"Sure," Kurt responded. "Let's head to Rachel's room." He took Blaine's hand in his and led him upstairs.
He stopped once they reached the room. "Is everything okay?" Kurt asked.
Blaine hesitated. "What did my dad say to you?" he inquired slowly, and Kurt flushed.
"I don't know what—"
"Finn told me," Blaine said. "He said that my father took you aside to talk to you, somewhere around the same time that you dumped me."
"And what?" Kurt snapped. "You think they're related?"
"Are they?"
Kurt sighed, brushing his bangs out of his face and sitting down on Rachel's bed. "You weren't supposed to hear about it," he muttered.
"Kurt..."
"It was stupid," he said, shaking his head. "I was stupid for listening to him. But everything he said, about how I was destroying every chance you had at anything. And it started to eat at me. I cost the Warblers regionals. I took away the education Dalton was giving you once you transferred. And when you left for Dartmouth so you could study business and take over your father's company one day, I'd be holding you back because I was several states away. I was a distraction. A bad influence." He closed his eyes, shaking his head. "He told me you wouldn't believe it because you were young and thought you were in love. So it fell upon me to give up my happiness so that, in the long run, you could live a happy life." He laughed bitterly. "The worst part is that what hurt me the most was his claim that you thought you loved me. Like it wasn't real."
Blaine sat beside Kurt. "It was always real, Kurt," he said gently, and the other boy nodded.
"I knew it was a mistake the moment you gave me that ring," he said. "But then I wasn't so sure again once we stopped talking."
"I'm the real idiot," Blaine said. "I never should have let you go in the first place. I will never be able to forgive myself for not fighting so much harder for you."
They were silent for several moments.
"I still want to be with you, Kurt," he breathed out. "I know we've hurt each other and maybe it will take a while before we're ready to really be together again, but you're it for me, Kurt. If you want to work on this..."
"Yeah," he responded quickly. "I do."
The grandfather clock in the hallway suddenly chimed, and Kurt glanced at the clock beside Rachel's bed, which read midnight. He turned back to Blaine.
"Happy new year," Blaine said with a slight smile.
"Happy new year," Kurt whispered, and after only a moment's hesitation, he leaned in to press a kiss to Blaine's lips.