A/N; I got the title idea from a reviewer…brilliant, thanks luvstwilight!
This will be entirely from Jacob's point of view. The angst comes to a head here, please enjoy.
Chapter 10 - Angry Grizzly Bear
Jacob pulled out of his dad's driveway, squealing the tires of his truck. He had really done it this time.
After punching through the window of the old shed, his dad had arrived home, taken one look at all of the blood and demanded that he go to the clinic - no one on the rez that could fix that many cuts and gashes with proper care.
His father wrapped his hands in dishtowels to stem most of the bleeding and sent Jacob out the door and into the rain. He didn't grill Jacob, or even ask him what happened, and Jacob gave a silent prayer of thanks for that. It was only a few miles to the clinic and Jacob could get there faster if he didn't have to load his father into the truck, so Billy stayed home.
Jacob could still feel some of the glass bits cutting into his skin as he maneuvered the steering wheel and he cursed under his breath in pain.
He swore again when he pulled up to the clinic and realized it was closed for the night. The building was completely dark except for a small window on the side. He didn't see any cars around, but they could be parked in the back lot. Oh well, he would check if anyone was still there and if that didn't work out he would call Leah to see if she could take him to Seattle. God! This whole night was just one big fucking disaster that was getting worse with each passing minute.
He marched up to the awning-covered front door, out of the downpour, and proceeded to peer in. He thought he saw the faintest bit of movement in a back room. Maybe Dr. Cullen was still in? He took both of his hands and pounded on the door with the sides that didn't have the glass shards in them. It was still pretty painful. He saw something move and after he banged on the door a few more times someone finally emerged from the back.
It definitely wasn't Dr. Cullen. A nurse in blue scrubs with dark hair was coming to the door. It was too dark inside the lobby to see any of her features. Great, he probably scared the shit out of her with all of this insane pounding. He heard her muffled voice saying something about calling 911 if it was an emergency. She came closer and he finally saw her face.
Jacob almost fell backward off the stoop. Everything in him told him to run back to his truck. He was fucking hallucinating now. That's how bad it was getting. But then he heard her voice again and saw her slim, pale hand reach for the lock. As she slowly swung the door open, all he could do was stand there paralyzed, dripping with water.
Bella Swan stared back at him, just as shocked.
"Jacob?"
It was her. Her voice as clear as day and her body as tangible as the pavement he was standing on. The air grew thick around them. He realized his mouth was hanging open and he needed to say something. She shook her head at him as if she thought she was imagining him too, but she made her way a little closer.
"What happened to your hands?!" she gasped, looking wide-eyed at the bloody dish towels that covered them.
He had forgotten all about them. He looked at his hands in front him and felt a sense of shame and embarrassment that if she were to see his wounds, she would probably know what he did.
"I-I didn't know. I have to go," he stammered, taking a few small steps backward. He turned and jogged to his truck, scared out of his mind to be anywhere near her. His brain was already on emotional overdrive and he didn't trust himself - better to get the hell out of there - but Bella was running toward him.
"Wait! Jake! I'm a nurse, I can help you!"
He turned towards her again, lifted his head up to the sky and laughed darkly.
"You can help me? Ha! Isn't this the best news of the night?"
She folded her arms angrily. Her hair and her clothes were starting to get wet. He looked at her seriously again. She looked even smaller than he remembered. Not as small as the last time he saw her, but thin nonetheless. Her hair was much shorter too - held back in a ponytail, and with it pulled up like that her eyes looked huge. She was even more beautiful then he imagined she would be. His breath was quick with the shock of seeing her and his heart hammered so hard in his chest, he swore it would burst.
"Jake you obviously need medical attention and I can help you. I'll be quick. Take it or leave it."
He chuckled again at his own luck, shaking his head at no one but himself.
"Yeah, fine," he said reluctantly. He instantly began to chastise himself for agreeing.
She nodded and turned quickly and he followed her into the warm building. She turned on the lamp at the desk and made a quick phone call. They eyed each other nervously as she dialed the number.
"Hi, it's me. Is dad asleep? Oh, okay. I have a patient that came in late, so I'll be a few more minutes. You sure? Thanks so much Alice."
So Alice was looking after Charlie. Well someone should after all of the trouble he's caused, Jacob thought bitterly. She looked at him apprehensively and gestured to the back rooms.
"I'm just going to get some things and I'll meet you in this first room here, okay?"
He nodded and watched her disappear into another room. At least she was down to business and maybe she would just stay quiet. His heart hadn't slowed for a moment since he'd laid eyes on her. He wasn't ready for this. Leave it to coincidence to throw him this curveball. Or was it fate? Either way, he felt trapped by it all. If he wanted to see her, he would have liked it to have been on his terms. Of course, when it came to Bella, nothing was ever on his terms it seemed.
He did find it a bit shocking still that she was a nurse. He remembered how much she despised all things medical growing up, and then after the whole experience in the hospital five years ago… How could she stand to be near a place like this? He certainly couldn't. If he hadn't trusted Dr. Cullen, he would have probably stayed home, picking the glass out of his hands by himself.
He hated the antiseptic smell of the brightly lit examination room - everything in it so sterile and neat. He wanted to take off his rain-soaked coat, but couldn't because of his hands, so he simply sat down in the nearest chair, frustrated and tense.
How long had she been in Forks? Did she know he was here? Was she staying at her old house? The questions bombarded his mind and he couldn't get them to stop. It was a mistake to follow her in here. He needed to go.
As he stood up, Bella came in with an armload of supplies and set them on the tray. She looked at him cautiously and he wondered if she knew how much he wanted to bolt, and yet a stronger, more rational part of him told him to stay. His hands throbbed, reminding him of his purpose.
"Well, can you sit? I can't very well work on you while you're standing," she said, her voice gentle but firm.
He felt a certain powerlessness when his eyes met hers and he hated himself for feeling that way after so long. Her eyes hadn't changed a bit - still warm pools of molten chocolate which he found himself drowning in all over again. He blinked and looked away as he sat down in the chair.
She rolled the tray closer and turned on the bright overhead light. She sat down on the rolling stool and came closer to him apprehensively.
"May I?" she asked, motioning to his "bandaged" hands.
He nodded stiffly, not daring to look her in the eyes again.
"I'll take your jacket off."
She stood up to move closer and his heart restarted its frantic pace. She reached up and pulled the jacket from his shoulders. He let her guide them gently over his arms and then his hands; then she rolled the sleeves of his flannel shirt up over his forearms. Her touch was so soft and gentle, it was excruciating. He let his eyes meet hers for the briefest instant which was a mistake. Her eyes were full of tenderness and care…for him. A rush of longing flooded every cell in his body. How could just the simple act of touching his arms cause such a violent reaction? He wanted to touch her too, almost as much as he wanted to push her away.
Her lips pressed together in concentration as she prepared to examine him. She began to unwrap the blood-soaked towels slowly, and Jacob had to bite down on his lip to keep from hissing in pain. Her hands trembled a little when she saw the mess of blood and glass that marred his hands.
"There," she said, setting the towels aside. "Lots of glass. I'm going to have to remove it. It's going to hurt."
He was glad that she didn't question him further, but just set about gathering the tools she would need. He watched as her hands made quick work with the tweezers, extracting tiny shards from his hands. He felt his stomach roll when he saw the amount of blood coming from a few of the gashes. Jacob cursed inwardly. He couldn't afford to look weak now. The glass made a plink, plink sound as she put the tiny bits in a stainless steel bowl.
The silence was strangely pleasant as he watched her work. At times, he would catch a scent of her hair; it smelled the way he remembered it, exotic and flowery. He resisted the temptation to lean closer to see if her skin smelled the same too. Her damp hair was making small tendrils around the nape of her neck and he felt his heart squeeze with desire. How many times had he kissed her there, the tiny place below her ears that made her moan with desire for him? He breathed a large sigh and closed his eyes to her once again. He didn't know how much time had gone by, but the lack of conversation didn't help to speed it up any. He squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.
"Almost done," came her quiet, comforting voice. After another few minutes she was blotting away some of the blood.
"I'm sorry Jacob, I have nothing for the pain and you need stitches. The narcotics and anesthetics are locked up and Dr. Cullen takes the keys at night," she paused and looked at him intently. "Normally a doctor places stitches, but I've done it quite a few times. It will be painful, but I'm quick."
"Just do it please," he said, grimacing at the idea of more pain, but maybe more for the fact that he was going to be close to her for a while longer, prolonging the torture.
He couldn't help but let out a few low groans of pain as she stitched him up. It was agony. He felt every pass of the needle and thread, and right when he thought he couldn't bear it anymore, she snipped the threads and announced she was done. She had done a remarkable job. He'd had stitches before; these were tiny, straight and meticulously even.
"Thank you," he said avoiding her eyes altogether. He didn't want her to see him like this. Weak and vulnerable. He already hated the fact that he needed her help. He stood to leave and she cleared her throat.
"Jake, wait. I know this has been awkward for both of us, but I would like a chance to talk to you… alone sometime… please. We need to--"
No, this had been enough torture for a lifetime for him. He wouldn't do it to himself any longer. The air gusted out of nostrils angrily, effectively cutting her off.
"We?" he gestured his hand between the two of them, laughing without mirth. "Look, thanks again for doing this, but talking about-- whatever you want to talk about-- count me out Bella. What's done is done."
She clutched the back of the counter she was leaning against for support. The look on her face was easy to read for him. He had seen it a thousand times before--she was losing hope quickly. She nodded sadly, trying to keep it together. Her voice was weak with emotion when she spoke again.
"Jake, I know this is the probably the wrong time, and horrible circumstances, but will you let me apologize and maybe explain some--"
"No!" He forgot about his wounds as his fist collided with the side of the door frame.
"AH! GODDAMMIT!" he cried in pain.
She was by his side quickly, taking his hand in hers. He saw the wet that had accumulated in her eyes. Begging him. Good, let her beg.
Instead she said nothing and his heart fluttered a bit when her soft eyes met his. "Don't re-injure yourself, Jake, I'm sorry I've made you upset."
The touch of her small, delicate hand sent a current through his skin. He wanted to back away from her - to get away from her intoxicating scent, her beautiful sad eyes, the way her body held the familiar curves he could see under her damp scrubs. He turned from her, quickly taking his hand from hers. It was difficult to tear himself away, but his sanity depended on it.
"I need to go."
He fumbled for his wallet and found a few hundred-dollar bills inside. He set them on the counter as he turned and walked through the door.
"That should cover the supplies and such," he growled as he made his way through the lobby.
She let the air out of her lungs angrily. "I don't need your money, Jacob Black!"
"Put it towards charity then!" he yelled as he let himself out of the front door.
He jogged to his truck, letting the cool misty air surround him. It did nothing to calm his nerves though. He muttered harsh words to himself the entire way home, cursing the woman that still held his heart in her tiny hands and cursing at himself for still giving a damn.
A/N: I totally had to add that last line because Jacob reminds me quite a bit of Rhett Butler from Gone with the Wind in this chapter. Ha! Anyway, there was the confrontation. I guess it could have been worse, right? Maybe not… Will Jacob come to his senses a bit and hear Bella out? We shall find out my friends. Next chapter will be longer, promise. Review and tell me what you think!
Also, fans of the michstargazer page on facebook got a sneak peak of this chapter, saw some great pictures and even a music video! Join us by searching for michstargazer on facebook and there is also a link on my profile page : ) It's fun!
Songs that inspired this chapter include:
"Don't Walk Away" by Sick Puppies
"Everything to Nothing" by Manchester Orchestra
"Forgive Me" by Missy Higgins
"Fighting My Way Back To You" by After Midnight Project