Authors note:

Hello again.

I'm back.

This time with more angst :D Anyone excited? I'm excited :D

Okay so warnings? Yes. Extreme trigger warning, graphic descriptions, read at your own risk.

Okay have fun :D

Now:
The warm water pounded against Blaine's back as tears trickled down his face, he kept seeing flashes after flashes of buried memories and new memories. He saw the look of fear on Kurt's face and the subtle flinch when Blaine touched him, he saw the facade Kurt had reserved for Aiden used around him. He'd hurt Kurt and he hated himself for it.

Blaine knew he hadn't meant to hurt Kurt, he was in a limbo of nightmare and reality when it had happened, the face of his father and his high school tormentors had covered Kurt's face and he'd lashed out.

Blaine closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing but he felt a new wave of memories hit him, his fathers fists pounding down on his small body, he couldn't quite remember his age at the time but from the size of his hands, that were held up in defence, he wouldn't be more then ten.

Blaine remembered the look on his fathers face when he'd been beaten up by the boys at his school, the sheer joy that was held in the crevices of his face as he told him he deserved it.

Blaine's legs shook slightly as wave after wave of memories assaulted him, he couldn't grasp on to any of them but they were all painful and the more of them there were the less of Blaine remained.

Blaine dropped to the ground as the energy drained from him. He looked at his hand, it was so different to the memory of his small hands held in defence, there were scars and freckles, his fingertips were now rough rather then smooth. There's a lot you can tell about someone from their hands, Blaine turned his hands over and looked at his palms, he traced the lines on his right palm. He touched his heart line gently and then his life line.

He shivered slightly as the water cooled down, he couldn't quite work out how long he'd been in the shower before but he was certain it had been a while.

Blaine looked across to the mirror, his face was sullen, his eyes dark and his smile absent, he looked more like his father than himself he let out a slight laugh. What had he expected, he was his fathers son after all, it was only a matter of time before looks weren't the only things that he mirrored. Every flood starts with one drop of water. It had been an accident hitting Kurt but his father said that when he hurt Blaine that it was an accident because he was drunk. Was this no different? Split lip this time, broken ribs next time? No. Blaine wouldn't let himself do that. He wouldn't let himself hurt Kurt even if it meant he had to hurt himself.

Blaine reached blindly for his toiletry bag, he dove his hand inside and pulled out what he was looking for. Kurt had found it funny when he'd first started shaving his legs. When they would cuddle their bare legs would touch and Kurt would complain about feeling like two women.

Blaine turned over the razor in his hand now, finding it momentarily funny that something so small could produce such strong emotions, the simple act of shaving his legs causing laughter and hidden pleasure or the heavy act of what he was about to do.

He looked at it intently, he knew what he had to do, to end the cycle of abuse but he couldn't quite work out the semantics of what he had to do. He slammed the razor against the wall of the shower and watched as the cheap plastic broke, he laughed slightly at how easy it was to get the blades out. Kurt had alway said he should get better razors if he was going to be shaving his legs.

Blaine bit his lip as he picked up one of the blades, it was light, he knew that but yet it felt like the weight of the world was resting in his hand. He looked at his life line again, this time he traced it with the blade. He lightly cut into his palm, just a small line across his life line. A simple break.

The next cut was to his heart line and then his wrist. With each cut Blaine felt his father slip away with the warm trickle of blood, he was happy. He ran the blade slowly and carefully vertically down his arm, separating the skin as he separated himself from his father. By the time he was done with his right arm he couldn't do his left. His arm wouldn't move the way he wanted, it just laid against his leg as the blood poured out.

Blaine dropped the blade and laid his head against the wall, closing his eyes and waiting for the darkness to swallow him up.

There was a bang but Blaine couldn't recognise what it was, another bang followed and then another and another, Blaine figured that maybe they were Death's footsteps, heavy with the lives he's carried. He felt cold but he couldn't be sure if it was his imminent death or the cold water he'd left running.

Hand's grabbed him by the shoulders and a voice screamed his name, Blaine felt his body laugh.

"Hello Death," he whispered, at least he felt like he had but he wasn't sure if the words even escaped his mouth at all.

The voice screamed out for help and Blaine wondered if Death needed help, if his life was too heavy to carry. This made him laugh to but again he doubted he physically made a sound.

The voice called him a selfish bastard and Blaine agreed, suicide was a selfish act after all but Blaine also wanted to tell the voice, to tell Death, that he did this so it would stop, the pain he caused and the pain he felt.

He just wanted it all to stop.

Death scooped him out of the shower and Blaine let himself relinquish the last bit of life he held.

*************************************************KLAINE*********************************************

Kurt banged on the bathroom door, he was worried about Blaine, he'd been in the bathroom for a while and that was very uncommon and usually meant something was up.
The act Blaine had locked the door was also strange, Blaine had expressed several times that having the door locked made him feel trapped.

Kurt banged on the door again but Blaine still didn't reply, Kurt knocked five more times before rushing to his bedside draw to grab the key that he kept there. He unlocked the door and pushed it open. He'd remember what he saw before him for the rest of his life.

Blaine was crumpled in the bath like shower, his body pale and the blood sickeningly red as it poured out of him.

Kurt ran to his side and grabbed a hold of Blaine's shoulders and shook him slightly.

"Blaine!" he cried out, he didn't know what to do. Blaine made a slight sound in the back of his throat but in the panic Kurt nearly missed it. Kurt shook him again, hoping for some kind of reaction but he got nothing. Blaine was as cold as ice but Kurt couldn't tell if it was because he'd already lost him or the fact the water was freezing cold.

In a moment Kurt had switched of the water and was reaching for the towel Blaine had laid out for himself. Kurt wrapped it around Blaine's arm to stop the bleeding, the towel, once white, became red within only a few moments.

Kurt couldn't fight the sob that racked his body as he tried to work out what to do. Blaine was slipping through his fingers and Kurt could only cry.

"Help!" Kurt cried. "Someone please help!"

Kurt barely heard Burt say he was coming, his thumping heart drowning out so much sound but the knowledge that help was on it's way made things a bit easier.

Kurt shook his head at Blaine, how could Blaine do this? After everything they had been through together and he does this. Kurt was sad and angry and his heart beat faster and faster.

"You selfish bastard," Kurt muttered but he didn't mean it, he just couldn't stay silent, the silence only acted as a reminder that Blaine wasn't laughing with him or telling him he loved him, it was just silence and it had to be filled with something.

Burt burst into the bathroom, Kurt wanted him to say something but Burt remained silent, Kurt wanted to scream, anything would be better then nothing.

"Help me get him out of the tub," Burt muttered and they both lifted Blaine out and onto the bathmat, Blaine's head resting on Kurt's lap.

Burt was leaving the room, a mobile already attached to his ear, Kurt held pressure on Blaine's arm as he whispered out a thousand apologies and promises that no one would hear.

Authors note:
Sorry I'm not sorry.

I really like my writing in this chapter and that's holding back any real apologies.

I really hope I haven't offended someone with my description of suicide.

Oh what have I done. I am so sorry. Legitimate apology now.