Chapter 10 - Goodbye For Now
May 10, 1998
Ron didn't sleep the rest of the night. He tossed and turned on the couch, nervous about Hermione and afraid of his own dreams... Hermione came downstairs early, just after her parents entered the kitchen. She looked as tired as Ron felt.
The rest of the day passed quickly, however. Hermione's parents went in to their office to explain the previous day's events, which they did so by telling a series of believable lies. Hermione felt guilty for what they had to do, but Ron tired to reassure her that the benefit of having their daughter back would outweigh what had happened, and now that her parents had all the facts, some of the anger they had felt initially was starting to wear off. By dinner, they both seemed more comfortable and more like their old selves than they had the previous day. It was still going to take a lot of time, but they were making slow progress towards becoming a family again.
Their plan was to return to England as soon as possible and to rebuild their old house. Hermione was sure it had been damaged but had not been to see it yet. She wanted them all to go together when they returned to England.
Late that evening, Hermione finally went up to bed, smiling briefly at Ron but not lingering as she had the night before. He felt slightly confused by her, but said nothing. He wasn't sure what had brought on her need to be alone, or if he was simply reading her incorrectly. But he accepted it, allowing her the time and the space that he assumed she needed.
May 11, 1998
Ron hardly slept the next night either, and he finally climbed the stairs up to Hermione's room just before dawn to check on her. He felt a little foolish, unsure if she'd even be pleased to see him if she was awake, but when he reached her closed door and heard no sound, he turned and headed back down the stairs.
May 16, 1998
The next five days passed in a flash. Ron and Hermione had been helping Hermione's parents pack up their belongings. Mr. and Mrs. Granger had been renting their home in Australia which simplified things a bit. And since they owned their own clinic, they could close it as long as they gave enough notice, and no one would really question it. They had told a story about needing to return to England for a family emergency and had given their employees a little time to find new employment. The date of their return home had been set to the last day of March, and Ron tried to hide his disappointment (and fear) about the fact that he would be returning to England alone. Hermione had purchased his airplane ticket for him already after they had very briefly discussed the date on which he would return.
All too soon, that day had actually come. Ron blinked sleepily, still lying on the couch, but having spent the past several nights in and out of confusing nightmares, wondering if Hermione was experiencing something similar in her bed upstairs. But he had not spoken to her about it since the first night and had not awoken to her screams again.
He heard light footsteps on the stairs and sat all the way up, staring intently into the hallway, hoping that Hermione had woken up before her parents... He got his wish as she appeared around the corner, her pajama top wrinkled and hair a bit tousled. Ron grinned at her as she entered the living room. He felt like he had hardly seen her all week. He knew that she had been busy with her parents... they both had. But he missed her terribly. He could not explain this to her. He wasn't sure it would even make sense. But every day, even though he could see her and listen to her voice, he felt a distance between them.
"Hi," he said as she walked around the couch. He swung his legs around, planting his feet on the floor, giving her space to sit down next to him. She sat and sighed simultaneously, and as she looked over at Ron, smiling softly, he noticed how dark the circles under her eyes had become. "Did you sleep at all?" he asked, looking concerned. She shrugged, but before he could say anything more, she spoke.
"Sorry I haven't been here with you much..."
"What do you mean?" Ron asked, adjusting his position on the couch to face her more.
"I've been really busy helping my parents and haven't really..." she shrugged again.
"It's fine, Hermione," Ron said quickly, feeling a bit guilty. He knew there was no way that she could know what he had been thinking, but he wondered if she had picked up on something based on his attitude. He hadn't meant to be so readable...
She smiled at him again, and he felt his pulse quicken, smiling back.
"Don't want you to go today..." she mumbled, turning to stare at the coffee table. Ron paused for a long moment to make sure he had heard her right before scooting very slightly closer to her.
"Yeah..." he said, following her gaze to the table. "Me either."
As they sat in silence, Ron pondered the fact that ever since that first night when he had stormed into Hermione's room and taken care of her after her nightmare, he had not really been very close to her. He wondered what her parents thought of him, if they had any idea that he and Hermione were together now. Even thinking the word 'together' brought a grin to his face, and when Hermione glanced over at him again, she caught it and furrowed her eyebrows.
"What?" she asked, watching him. He faced her, his ears turning a bit red.
"Nothing, just happy," he said honestly, but Hermione still looked puzzled. "About... you know..." he continued, shrugging... "us."
"Oh," Hermione said softly, her cheeks turning pink, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
They fell back into shy silence, their cheeks flushed. Ron continued his previous line of thought, considering Hermione's parents again. He wondered what they would really think of him. He wasn't rich or brilliant. He didn't have much that he could really offer Hermione other than his feelings for her. He wondered if they'd really want someone like him to be with their only daughter. He tried not to be too negative, assuring himself that it didn't really matter because Hermione loved him. But as he continued to think about it, he wished he had done something more, something to prove himself to them. He knew it was silly, a bit ridiculous, but he felt that in the end, they probably didn't really have any idea how serious he was about her, how strongly he actually felt. And really, that was about the only thing he could think of that he had going for him.
He wanted to talk to Hermione about it, to know what she honestly thought, but he knew that she wouldn't tell him if she had any reason to believe that any of his worries could be grounded in reality. And he also had no idea where to start. He wasn't very good with talking to her about things like that yet. He wanted to be, but he wasn't sure how to make it more comfortable, to make it possible without his whole face turning the color of a beet.
Before he could ponder anything any further, he heard two more sets of footsteps descending the stairs and he involuntarily moved slightly away from Hermione, cursing himself silently for doing it in the first place...
"Hermione," Mrs. Granger called as she entered the living room, "we're heading into the office. Can you get Ron to the airport on your own?"
"Sure, Mum," Hermione said pleasantly, having already decided on this plan the previous night, "it'll be fine."
"Okay, then," Mrs. Granger said kindly, her eyes moving to Ron. He smiled at her and stood.
"Thanks a lot for letting me stay here," he said quickly, just as Mr. Granger entered the living room behind his wife.
"Our pleasure," said Mrs. Granger. "It's nice to know that Hermione has such good friends, people who'd sacrifice so much of their time to help her."
Ron nodded, focusing on the word 'friends'.
"Yeah, Ron," piped up Mr. Granger. "Thanks for all your help as well, with the packing and all."
"Sure, no problem," Ron said.
Mr. and Mrs. Granger hugged Hermione and left the room one by one, heading for the front door without another word.
"We'd better get ready," Hermione said the moment she heard the front door click shut. Ron couldn't reply... his mouth had gone too dry. He had been dreading this day since Hermione had bought his plane ticket a few days prior.
Hermione left the living room quickly, and Ron busied himself with gathering his things. Forty minutes later, he was packed, showered, and dressed, standing in the front hallway, listening to Hermione's footsteps again as she headed back down the stairs.
Hermione passed him and entered the kitchen, returning a moment later with a few slices of bread and two apples.
"Breakfast," she said as she handed Ron the food.
"Oh," he said, not feeling hungry at all. His stomach was tied in a very tight knot. "Thanks."
They left the house silently and headed for the curb, but as Hermione slowed down, stopping completely by the street, Ron realized she had obviously failed to let him in on a very important part of the plan.
"So how are we getting-" he began, but Hermione interrupted him with the answer he was looking for.
"Taxi," she said. "I called one when I went up to get dressed."
"Oh." Ron looked down at his feet, wondering how dumb he must sound to her, not even able to figure out something like how to get from one place to the other the Muggle way, and even now after a week living with Muggles...
The ride to the airport was silent. Ron was left to his rather depressing thoughts, thinking about the next few days... weeks... without Hermione. And when they reached the airport and the taxi stopped at Ron's terminal, he felt his stomach twitch uncomfortably again. He followed Hermione to the gate, doing everything as she instructed him to, but then suddenly, Hermione started to slow down her pace, her expression turning a bit nervous.
"What?" Ron asked, stopping altogether to address her. She stopped in front of him and turned to face him, her eyes down, focused on the carpet.
"I can't go with you much further," she said.
"Why not?" Ron asked quickly.
"Because they don't allow people who aren't riding on the airplane to go past a certain point, past the metal detectors."
Ron glanced over Hermione's shoulder at the line that would lead him to the contraptions Hermione spoke of. He remembered what she had called them from their last flight.
"Do you have everything?" Hermione asked him, looking up finally. "Your passport? All your clothes? If you left something, I can bring it with me when I come back. Do you need any money? Any-"
But Ron cut off her rambling, sensing that she was talking to avoid addressing how she was really feeling...
"Hermione, I'm fine," he said, putting down his bag and stepping closer to her. "We did this before. I've got it." She nodded, but stared into his eyes, looking unconvinced. "I'm fine," he said again with a small chuckle.
"Sorry," Hermione mumbled, looking away from him. He stared at her, his eyebrows furrowed. He was trying so desperately to read her but it was so difficult...
"What are you thinking?" he asked after a long pause. She looked up at him but didn't respond. "Tell me," he tried again after a moment.
"Ron..." she trailed off.
"That was a question. I asked it the right way, didn't I?" Ron teased, giving her a sideways smile. She couldn't help but smile back.
"Yes, you did," she said. After a small sigh, she finally answered him... "I was just... thinking of how much I'm going to miss you."
"Blimey, me too," Ron said, feeling a heavy weight lift from his chest at being able to express his feelings on the subject so indiscreetly. Her admission had opened up the discussion and allowed him to be completely honest with her. "You know, I could just not-"
"No," Hermione cut him off. "I know what you're about to say and you can't do it."
"What was I-" But she cut him off again.
"That you could just skip training and start it the next time they offer it."
Ron looked sheepishly at her, marveling at the fact that she could read him so clearly.
"So what if I was going to say that?" he countered as if the concept was still up for debate.
"You can't, Ron," she replied firmly. "This is what you've wanted for so long. And Harry... you have to be with Harry. He'll start on the 20th regardless. He needs to do this and so do you."
Ron looked into her eyes for as long as he could without blushing. When he looked away, his eyes landed on the growing line of people on the way through the metal detectors. Hermione followed his gaze, turning to look over her own shoulder.
"We should queue up," she said. "I can wait with you until you get to the front. Then I'll just duck out."
Ron nodded and picked up his bag again, following Hermione to the back of the line. They stood in silence, both lost in thought, for the first half of the wait in the queue. Ron sneaked glances Hermione's way every few seconds, focused on her lips as she bit them nervously. It was mesmerizing, and after nearly ten whole minutes of silence, he couldn't take it any longer. He couldn't think of anything to say, couldn't find words that wouldn't be pointless now. So finally, dropping his bag again, he reached out to Hermione, placing his hands on her waist and pulling her towards him gently. She looked up into his eyes, surprised, but she had no time to react. He dipped his head and kissed her. She squealed softly from shock as he pulled her hips closer, his hands shaking very slightly, his palms pressed to her sides. But after a moment, he felt her hands moving up his chest to his shoulders, and he smiled, his lips still pressed to hers.
When they separated, it was only because the person behind them was making frustrated sounds due to the fact that the queue had moved forward, leaving a large gap between Ron and Hermione and the next person in line. Both blushing as they made this realization, Ron picked up his bag and moved forward with Hermione. He caught her trying to hide her grin from him, looking off into the distance, and it made his heart skip a beat. He was so focused on her face that he didn't notice her hand moving closer to him until her fingers brushed his forearm, sliding down to his hand. He took her hand and squeezed, grinning, his head feeling very light and mushy.
But with each step forward they took, the front of the queue loomed more heavily over them like a dark shadow.
"Hermione," Ron said suddenly, looking down at her, "give me your... you know... those numbers you have to push if you want to get in touch with someone with a uh..." He blushed, glancing around to be sure no one was staring. He knew how ridiculous he must sound trying to think of the right words for all of these Muggle things that he still did not fully understand.
"Telephone number," Hermione said quietly, trying not to grin as she dropped Ron's hand, reaching into her pocket for a pen. She had taken to keeping a few Muggle pens around during the packing of her parents' house, making it easier to label what was inside each of the boxes.
"Yeah," Ron said. "I can try to uh... call you... from home. I don't think we have an ow-" but he stopped himself from finishing his thought, nearly on the point of telling Hermione that he didn't think any of the Weasleys' owls could make the trip halfway around the world to deliver a letter. He looked guiltily down at Hermione, but she shook her head very slightly, and he knew she understood what he had been trying to say.
"Do you have a piece of paper?" she asked Ron, and he dropped his bag to dig in his pockets for a scrap. But, not finding anything, he held out his hand.
"Here, just write it on my hand," he said, and for some reason, this seemed to excite Hermione. She suppressed a grin as she took Ron's hand in both of hers, writing her parents' telephone number on the back of his hand.
By the time Hermione had finished and pocketed the pen again, they had reached the front of the line. Hermione met Ron's eyes, looking alarmed.
"That went fast," Ron said, feeling his heart sink.
"Passport and boarding pass," said the attendant next to Ron.
"Right," Ron said, handing them to her. He watched her checking them curiously, but the moment he felt Hermione's hands on the sides of his face, he turned to her, forgetting where he even was. She pulled his face down to hers, kissing him firmly on the lips. He dropped his bag once again, his eyes clamping shut, wrapping his arms around her, lifting her slightly off the ground. When they finally parted, Ron could tell out of the corner of his eye that the attendant was becoming impatient, holding his passport and boarding pass out to him, waiting for him to take it. But he dismissed her, didn't even turn to look at her. His eyes were focused on Hermione's. She leaned up, standing on the tips of her toes, and pulled Ron down again, but this time, her mouth moved to his ear.
"I love you," she whispered, her lips brushing his ear. When she pulled back again, her eyes were wet, but Ron had been rendered completely speechless. He was unaware of anything around him, anything in his life except for her. She took his hand and backed away, their arms stretching out from their bodies to enable their hands to stay clasped until the last possible moment. She dropped his hand completely when she reached the black belt barrier around the queue. She ducked out of the line, standing straight again and turning her back towards him. Sensing that she was going to walk away, to leave him without another word, Ron suddenly came to his senses, realizing immediately what he hadn't said... what he needed to say...
"I love you too!" he shouted at her retreating back. She turned around quickly, a shocked but blissful expression on her face. Ron felt all eyes close by fall instantly on him. Realizing how loud he had been, what he had just done, he felt his cheeks burn, but he didn't look away from Hermione. "I... I'll see you soon," he laughed a bit nervously. Hermione grinned, pressing her lips together to keep from laughing.
"Sir," came the voice of the attendant still holding out Ron's passport and boarding pass, but she sounded much more amused all of a sudden than she had seemed before. He turned to take his things from her, and when he looked back where Hermione had just been, she was heading away from him. He didn't want to watch her leaving. It made their separation more real in some way. So he turned his back again, focusing on all of the things she had told him about how to board an airplane without looking suspicious.
He took a deep breath and sighed, thinking about the moment when he'd see her next, when she'd smile at him again, when he'd hear her voice. His heart beat faster at the thought. And for the rest of the day, all he could hear when he closed his eyes was the sound of her whispering into his ear... I love you.