So here is it! It is longer than usual, which is not a bad thing (well at least for me). Next week I'm going to be a little bit busy, because I have this big debate of philosophy, which is a class I totally hate, but I made it ,miraculously, to the final team and now we have to go to talks and I'm going to return home late. It can take a little longer to write the next chapter, but I'll see what I can do. Hope you like it!

Danise Nowak

Ch. 10 When everything went wrong

I know I have had some terrible awkward moments in my life, like the time when I found the old man kissing a woman in the living room, or when I barged in the women's toilets, but they are nothing compared to the awkwardness I'm feeling right now while sitting in Antonio's bed.

He had gone down to the kitchen for I don't know what and told me before going to sit in his bed. I sat in the edge trying not to wet the deep red bedcover. It was not as if my clothes were dripping but they were humid from all the rain. It had not helped the fact that it rained in our way to Antonio´s house. My hair had still little cold drops of water.

My eyes started to observe with curiosity the room, because I hadn't done it while Antonio was there. The walls were covered with a creamy wall paper with soft diamond-like figures. A black couch beside a door that, I suppose, was of the bathroom. There was a mahogany desk in front of the bed with a bookshelf covering the wall over it. The desk was full of scattered notebooks, sheets and an occasional pencil or pen. It was quite a disaster if you compared it to the ordered bookshelf. I couldn't read all the tittles so I got up and walked until I was in front of the bookshelf. With my finger I passed the spine of each book I read.

Spanish cooking. Receipts. Photo album of Germany. Shakespeare. Arturo Pérez-Reverte. Molière.

The heck. He had so many different authors that I didn't know! And the themes from the books were also so different. What did he like? It was impossible to tell from those titles.

"I see you found my little library."

I jumped when Antonio talked, not expecting to see him standing in the door frame with two steaming cups in his hands. My hand slipped to my side and I remained there watching him enter his room and offering me one of the cups. I took it and looked inside. The cup had some dark brown liquid that smelled so sweet and familiar.

"Chocolate?" I adventured.

Antonio smiled and nodded while taking the first sip from the cup. He winced when the hot liquid burned his tongue. I had to bite my tongue to keep me from laughing.

"It's hot" he murmured blowing gently air to the cup.

"Of course it is." I mumbled imitating him in the blowing and taking a sip after. It was delicious! I didn't remember the last time I had eaten a chocolate bar was. We stayed in silence drinking the sweet liquid until Antonio stood up suddenly and took out of his pants' pocket a white pill. He offered it to me.

"What's that?"

"A pill for the fever."

"I'm not sick"

"You will be."

"I won't"

"Take the pill Lovi. You don't have to take it right now. It will be useful when you feel like shit."

"It's Lovino"

I took the pill and placed it in my pocket. I was not going to get sick. Why did he keep insisting that? He continued drinking from the cup until it was empty and then walked towards the closet door at the right of the bed. He opened it and started to search something from one drawer. While he did that, I watched the other details of the room.

There was a little Spanish flag in one corner of the bookshelf. There were several posters of football players over the wall beside the door to the bathroom, in the other side was the black couch. I recognized some of them, but not all. Under those posters in the corner, there was an acoustic guitar lying on the wall. So he knew how to play it. I never thought he would be a musical person. The next thing that caught my attention were the photos on the night tables. I couldn't see who was in those photos, and I wasn't going to walk there to satisfy my curiosity. I was still digesting the idea that I was in Antonio's house.

"Do you prefer a color?"

I looked at Antonio, who had two shirts in his hands. One was white and the other black.

"Black" I said immediately. A white shirt could get stained if the wounds opened.

Antonio nodded and threw it to me along with some gray pants. I looked at the clothes for a moment. Did I have to wear them? I could sleep in the clothes I had right now.

"You're not going to sleep with those wet clothes." Antonio said reading my thoughts. "The bathroom is there. You can take a bad if you want, there are towels inside."

The idea of taking a bath was so tempting. In fact I was freezing and the hot water was calling me, but if I did take a bath I would have to remove the bandages and there was a high possibility of opening the wounds. I looked at the clothes Antonio gave me and then at the door of the bathroom.

"Are you going or not?" asked a tired Antonio while sighing.

"I'm going" I muttered. I had enough practice in the change of the bandages. I could change them without making a mess. "I'll sleep in the couch."

Before Antonio could say something I walked to the bathroom door and close it behind me. I turned on the water and started to take off my wet clothes. The room began to get full of the vapor from the hot water of the shower and I couldn't help but shiver from the different temperatures my body received. I sat over the toilet lid and started to take off the bandages slowly and carefully. They were a little humid so they didn't open any wound in a huge proportion. Only one or two of the cuts started to bleed but not too much. I folded them and put them under my clothes.

The shower was a great idea. It calmed me and almost made me forget where I was. But I was reminded when I hear a soft knock in the door.

"It's getting late Lovi. You better go out and sleep."

The voice of Antonio was full of fatigue, but still gentle. I turned off the water and wrapped the bandages around my body once I was dry. The pants and the shirt were big for me but they did their job as a pajama.

I walked out of the bathroom, with my clothes folded under my arm, and found the black couch prepared with a blanket and a quilt. I looked over to the bed where Antonio was sitting with his eyes fixed in me.

"Don't look at me and go to sleep." He said and let himself fall in the bed.

I nodded absently and lay in the couch. When I was about to close my eyes, a puffy white pillow landed in my face.

"Hey!" I exclaimed.

Antonio just shrugged and closed his eyes. I did the same and waited for the dreams to come. But I should have guessed that Antonio wouldn't shut up even when it was almost midnight.

"Lovi? Why didn't you tell your brother of the FC Royal?"

"It's Lovino." I muttered while thinking what to say. Taking in account what I knew of Antonio, he was not going to accept any excuse, but I couldn't tell him all the truth. Maybe telling half the truth would help to get rid of his damn curiosity. "I didn't want him to go talking about it."

"Why?"

"I don't like to be the center of attention, unlike him."

"I have noticed" He said with a laugh. I just frowned saying nothing. It took a few seconds of silence for him to talk again. "Do you really hate me?"

"I don't hate you moron." I said with a sigh. He was really stupid for believing everything people said. Even if I had said those words to hurt him and to keep him away, it was obvious it was a lie. At least for me. But I was not going to say that to him because I wanted him far away from me and that was the easiest way to do so. It was not my fault that he was so naïve. So now I was in problems, if Antonio kept asking I wouldn't have enough time to create an excuse for my behavior.

"Then why…..?"

"Go to sleep Antonio" I muttered cutting him off. I closed my eyes and focused in ignoring Antonio's voice. A "Good night Lovino" was the last thing I hear before succumbing to my dreams.

"You know my Lovino, your face is just like him"

One soft hand caressed my cheek with tenderness, but I couldn't feel anything but fear. The hand suddenly grabbed my chin and lift it up so I was seeing the woman who was owner of the hand. Soft brown hair loosed around a delicate face that contrasted with the crazy sparkle in her deep brown eyes. The eyes that my little brother had. She smiled and I trembled.

"My poor Lovi, you have such a sad destiny." The woman bended over me and our eyes locked. I could see all her pain, all her intentions, all the craziness, but I couldn't move and she knew it. "Why must you look like him my little son?"

I opened my eyes and sat in the couch breathing hard. It had been long since I had a dream like that. I thought I had stopped dreaming of the past. Maybe the words of Feliciano reminding me of the date had stuck in my brain. Fucking Feliciano.

I stood up but immediately fell in the couch again. My vision wavered and I put my hand over my eyes while closing them. I touched my forehead and felt the heat that my skin irradiated. Fever again. So the prediction from Antonio had become true.

I swallowed, feeling my sore throat. Suddenly I remembered the pill that Antonio had given me. I could use it! Of course I would never thank him for it; I hadn't asked for the pill in the first place.

I stood up more slowly than before and made my way to the bathroom with my clothes under my arm. I changed to those cold clothes; later I could change to the clean set I had in my locker. When I got out of the bathroom I looked to the bed in which Antonio was. The goofy Spaniard was still sleeping and I was not going to wake him up to ask him for a glass of water that I needed to take the pill.

I looked at the clock in one of the night stands of the bed. It said 5:50. Ten minutes and it would be six in the morning. It was early but I didn't have the necessity to remain in this house. I was just someone Antonio had let stay as in a charity act. I walked over to the desk and grabbed one of the sheets that were scattered over it. With one of the pens I wrote a note. I looked at the desk when I finished and sighed. He was not going to see the note between all this mess. I took the note to the one of the night stands and left it there.

In the next ten seconds I climbed down the stairs until I reached the kitchen. I grabbed one of the used glasses in the sink and washed it. Then I purred water from the jar that was nearer and took the pill with a big gulp of water. I washed the glass again and quietly left the house.

The cold wind chilled me and caused me to start to shake but I ignored it and continued to walk towards the school. Antonio's house was not as far from the school as my own house. They were just a few blocks. After fifteen minutes I could see the school building and in five more I was inside. I ran to my locker and took out the clothes.

I went to the gym bathrooms that had showers, even though I wasn't supposed to use them, and took a bath. When I finished I could hear the sound of other students talking. I went again to my locker and put inside the clothes form yesterday. When I turned I found Feliciano there, with tears in his eyes and the big German guy called Ludwig at his side.

Feliciano immediately hugged me making me wince because of the wounds. I could see Ludwig raising one blond eyebrow at my reaction but he said nothing and I ignored him concentrating in my tearful brother.

"I'm so sorry fratello. I didn't want to say those things, I was angry. I'm sorry." Feliciano said.

"Feliciano." I said calmed, but he didn't listen and continued talking.

"When you didn't arrive yesterday I was….I thought you have escaped, that you were not going to return." He said in an impressive velocity.

I sighed and hugged him back making him stop his babbling. His arms increased the force around me. I could feel him trembling like a little chicken. I pushed him delicately to break the hug and looked at him in the eyes. His brown eyes were red with tears sliding down his face. The eyes were so similar to the ones that I had dreamt of. I cleaned the tears with my finger and smiled a little.

"Sorry to have worried you Feli."

"Where did you sleep?"

"In a hotel"

The lie came easily to my lips without me thinking. I was not going to tell Feliciano that Antonio had found me because he was going to ask why I had to go with him and I would have to tell him a lame excuse to hide the fact that I didn't want to go home. Feliciano nodded and flashed me a big smile.

"You're going home today right?"

"Yeah"

"I'll see you later fratello" he said waving his hand. Ludwig walked after him but before he turning completely he send me a glare. I don't know why he did so. I don't understand the meaning of it, but I caught a glimpse of a warning.

I frowned and walked to my class in silence. Once inside I sat in the desk and put my head between my arms. My head hurt, there was the slight possibility that I could encounter Antonio, the school had just begun, and I was feeling like a smashed potato.

Fortunately the teacher didn't say anything about my posture and left me in peace to think. But even thinking took too much energy from me. Maybe I should get another pill like the one Antonio gave me. I would if it helped me to pass the day without incidents.

The bell rang and I got up a little clumsily from my desk and grabbed my things. Thanks to God I had the wall near me to grab when a wave of dizziness made my sight go black. I went to my next class walking slowly, trying not to do any sudden movement that could make my dizziness worse. I sat in the first desk I saw free, one almost at the back, and lay in my arms again.

Okay, maybe I was feeling worse than a smashed potato. Maybe I was feeling like a little insect crushed a hundred times by a giant. But how could I tell the teacher that without having a problem like the other day? I didn't have the energy to argue and less to walk by my own to the infirmary.

"Lovino, wake up"

I opened my eyes and saw the teacher bending over me with angry eyes. It was the same one I had fought some weeks ago about being like Feliciano. Since that day she had said nothing to me in classes and I hadn't talked to her either. But I guess that sleeping in her fucking class again was an exception. I blinked a few times before raising my body to sit correctly.

"Are you feeling alright?" She asked with worried eyes. I guess I must look terrible. Without letting me answer she put her hand over my forehead and gasped. "My God Lovino you're burning. Go immediately to the infirmary."

I nodded, thankful for the order. But as I was lifting my things she talked again.

"Alfred, please go with him. He looks as if he's going to faint at any moment."

"Yes, ma'am."

A tall blond with blue eyes that I recognized as the boy who had helped me with Marcus that time in the showers got up and walked beside me in the hall. He started to blab nonsense and I ignored him as I did with Feliciano.

"You're really sick?" He asked.

What a stupid question.

"No, I'm fine."

"Of course you're not. You're going to the infirmary for a reason."

I wanted to kick him for being so obvious to my sarcasm, but I started to notice that Alfred was like that. I stopped abruptly when suddenly I could see tinny dark spots in my vision. Alfred also stopped and looked at me.

"What's the matter man?"

"I can't see." I murmured with a weak voice. I couldn't raise it more. I just couldn't. It was as if my voice was not there. My vision was full of black spots that finally cover everything. I reached with my hand for a support, grabbing the cold metal of a locker and tried to see something between the darkness. But there was nothing, only black. My body started to feel weak and my ears started to buzz. I could hardly hear the "What?" that Alfred asked. I swallowed one more time feeling my body going dumb.

"I can't see."

And I lost consciousness.

I could hear voices talking. Little by little the voices got clearer and I recognized my brother Feliciano, Ludwig and Antonio? I was about to open my eyes but stopped when their words caught my attention.

"So he was in your house?" That was Feliciano.

"Sí. He didn't tell you?"

"He told me he was in a hotel. I knew he was lying but he wouldn't have told me the truth even if I insisted. Fratello is so obstinate."

"¿Por qué?"

"He has always been like that. Where do you found him?"

"Near my house, walking." Said Antonio not insisting with the previous question. It was quite obvious that Feliciano didn't want to talk about it. "He was completely wet. He didn't have any intentions of going home for what I saw."

Fucking Spaniard! He wasn't supposed to tell Feliciano that!

"I know" I heard the sad tone in Feliciano's voice and my heart sank. He had always seen right through my lies. Even in that I had failed. "Why didn't he arrive with you this morning?"

"When I woke up he was gone. He left a note and nothing more. I searched for him in the morning but couldn't find him. He had a fever last night. It was obvious he was going to feel worse today. Se lo dije, pero es tan terco." Antonio sighed.

"He has been acting strange Marcus' accident." Ludwig said.

Okay this was going too fast. Feliciano couldn't know of the situation with Marcus. He couldn't know. He was going to be so angry, so disappointed. I was not going to be capable of facing him with that look in his face. It was too much.

"What..?"

I opened my eyes and sat in the bed breathing hard. I opened my eyes as if I was scared, which I was, to act as if I had had a nightmare. Feliciano immediately stopped talking and hurried to my side.

"Fratello, how are you feeling?"

I rolled my eyes at the stupid question but answered.

"Like shit."

And I was not lying. My head was pounding, I had nausea and the squeaky voice of my brother was close to tearing my ears apart.

"Why didn't you tell me you were feeling bad?" He complained.

"Lower Feliciano, you're going to break my eardrum."

"Sorry."

"So the little Italian has woken up!"

Everyone turned to see the nurse as she entered the room with a table in her hand. She walked until he was at one side of the infirmary bed and took out a pen from her coat.

"We meet again boy."

"I thought I had given you my name so you could call me by it, nurse."

"Okay, fair enough." She said with a smile. I ignored the frowns that appeared in the faces of the ones that were in the room. "Age?"

"17"

"Allergies?"

"None"

"Did you eat breakfast?"

"Ye…"

"No, he didn't" I was cut off by Antonio. Now it was my turned to frown. I guess I couldn't lie with everyone present, but I could try.

"Okay, since it's that, when was the last time you ate?"

I remained in silence under the eyes of everyone in the room. God dammit I was surrounded! They were going to detect very lie I tell. I sighed giving up.

"Yesterday morning."

Now even the nurse was frowning. What the hell. Why couldn't they mind their own business?

"Now we know why you fainted Lovino." Said the nurse with disapproval. I flinched and lowered my head. "Of course the fever was another cause. Using all your energy to fight it caused the fainting. Now listen me carefully Lovino. You're going to go out of this room, walk directly to the cafeteria and eat real food. I don't want chips and things like that, understood?"

"Yes."

"Okay, now go." She said hitting me with her pen in my head. "It would be better if one of you goes with him. To ensure he eats."

"We will all go." Said Feliciano.

I didn't look at any of them as I got up of the bed and fixed my clothes. I was too scared to see their faces. I bet they were full of disappointment, anger and revulsion.

My three body guards, as I had named them, walked at me side in silence. Two of them weren't needed. Ludwig and Antonio had nothing to do with this. So why were they in here? But as we walked to the cafeteria the fact that they were not going to go away sank in my head. Yep, it was going to be a long day.

Translations:

Spanish

Sí Yes

¿Por qué? Why?

Se lo dije, pero es tan terco. I told him, but he's so stubborn.

Italian

Fratello Brother