I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead
In the morning, we run into a forrest fire. An enormous, dangerous, difficult to outrun because it's not natural and is throwing balls of exploding flame at us- forrest fire.
So we run.
At first we just run away, but then Clove screams, "the river!" and we head in that direction. The fire can't follow us in there.
We reach the river, but not without each sustaining a few injuries. Clove is hit on the shoulder by a fireball, Marvel is hit twice- one hits his arm, one his back. I get hit in the thigh, Cato twists his ankle, and miraculously Glimmer is unscathed by the time we throw ourselves into the water.
The river is wide, but thankfully, considering I don't know how to swim, not too deep. It reaches up to my waist, and Clove, the smallest, can still stand with her head and shoulders over the water.
Shocked and tired, we all stay there, watching the forrest burn. It's magnificent, in a disastrous kind of way.
Fire- that's what real power looks like.
My burn hurts. Really hurts, and by the moans coming from Marvel and Clove, they are feeling it too.
And then by error, or maybe this was what the game-makers were planning all along - we find Mera.
She comes out of the forrest, screaming and injured and into the water, upstream, and a visible distance away from us.
She's so preoccupied with her injuries that she doesn't notice us at first, and we stay immobile, shocked, watching her. Then someone in the group reacts, and shouting they all start wadding upstream, in her direction.
I stay, frozen, looking at her. She stares back for a second, then looks with horrified terror at the careers slowly making their way towards her.
She turns and stumbles towards the riverbank not consumed by flame, wadding, not swimming.
Mera looks gaunt- obviously she hasn't had much food, and injured- at least two of the flaming fireballs have hit her; her leg looks injured and her ear and cheek look mangled, red and swollen.
She reaches the other bank at the same time as Marvel, still downstream of her, but much more dangerous on solid ground.
Meera stumbles towards a tree, as the other Career's reach the riverbank. I begin to slowly make my way towards them, and Glimmer looks back at me angrily exclaiming "come on 12! We haven't got all day!"
I reach the bank before anyone has moved. They have their weapons in their hands- Clove and her knives, Glimmer with the bow and arrows strapped to her back and an axe in her hand, Marvel with a short spear and Cato with a longer one.
I walk towards them slowly, reluctantly. I told Haymich I didn't care about this girl, I told the careers the same thing…
and yet.
And yet I do, and I don't. She's 12, she's Seam. I know her name and I know she nibbles on toast and prefers chocolate milk to orange juice, and not much else. But it's enough for me to know that I can't hurt her, not really.
She hunches, whimpering, looking from Career to Career, at their faces and at their weapons. Then she looks past them, at me.
We stare at each other, I don't know how long, though it can't have been long at all. She looks confused and scared and hurt. I wonder how I look. To her. To the viewers.
Then her face changes, from fear to conviction, her gaze sharpens. She doesn't smile, exactly, just makes a kind of helpless, almost tender expression at me.
Then she looks back at the careers, specifically at Marvel, the closest, and letting out a terrified sob, she screams as she stumblingly runs towards him.
He yelps, surprised, and then with an unconscious, obviously practiced move stabs her through the chest.
She chokes, sobbing as she falls to her knees, and then keeling over to her side, the spear going straight through her. She closes her eyes, one of her hands touching the spear, blood coming out of her mouth as she tries to breathe.
The Career's have been surprisingly quiet through it all, and I wonder why.
But then Glimmer snorts and stares sideways at Marvel.
"She's not going quietly is she?"
Marvel looks at her, taken aback.
"She's going to die, don't worry about it, I didn't miss,did I, she just surprised me... I might have pierced a lung and missed her heart."
Glimmer rolls her eyes and then looks back at me, a malicious look in her eyes.
"Well, her whimpering annoys me, I think 12 should finish the job."
They look back at me, Cato's face grimacing in pain because of his foot, Marvel still with an unbelieving expression- and I can't quite make out Clove's expression before she turns back towards Mera and walks towards her purposely.
She kneels by my district partner, pulls her head up by the hair with one hand and with the other uses a knife to slash her throat open.
The canon sounds.
Glimmer frowns at Clove, but the smaller girl simply stands, gingerly touching her injured shoulder.
"Let's head back," she says, "I need medicine."
We walk back slowly, alert and weapons out, leaning on each other. The sun is out high, so our wet clothes mostly dry off, but the heat makes us sweat, all of us uncomfortable and ready to get back.
Marvel is in worse shape than any of us, but halfway back he gets a parachute with a small container of some sort of cream that smells strongly of medicine. There's only enough for his two burns, but he makes us stop and won't go on until he applies it to himself, sighing in contentment at the apparent immediate relief.
After that he helps me lean on him the rest of the way back. Glimmer is helping Cato, and Clove's injury has nothing to do with walking.
We reach camp a couple of hours later, with the sun still high in the sky. I immediately head for my stuff and all the medical supplies I have hoarded away.
A second parachute comes down for Cato, and he grunts out an "about time!" as he opens it to reveal some sort of ointment covered bandage for his ankle.
I know it's no secret that I have most of the medicine, so it would be useless for me to get a parachute even if I have enough sponsors, but I notice Clove doesn't get one either. I shift through my stuff.
I have painkillers, bandages, alcohol, and, yes, a bottle of burn ointment.
I strip out of my pants, wash out the wound with water and alcohol, and apply the ointment. It's obviously not as potent as Marvel's parachute cure, but it helps. I tie up my leg with the bandages, and look at Clove, lying on her sleeping bag, curled up, clutching her arm.
She hasn't asked for anything, but she's obviously in pain.
I remember thinking earlier of keeping the supplies only to myself, letting an injured career get an infected wound and die...but I can't do that anymore. If it where any of the others maybe, but its Clove.
She killed Mera so I wouldn't have to, I realize.
Because we're friends, I think immediately afterwards.
Friends who will eventually be pitted against each other… forced to kill one another…
but not today.
"Clove," I call out, "come over here, let me help with that"
She grunts, and doesn't move.
I sigh, grab the things and walk towards her. Clove's eyes are shut, a frown on her face. Her ponytail, usually tight and with not a hair out of place is now loose and messy thanks to our dunk in the river and the humidity drying her hair every which way.
I shove her lightly with my foot.
"I've got something for your burn." I say.
She shuts her eyes tighter, curls up a little more protectively around herself.
"Leave me alone Gale" she mumbles.
I frown.
I haven't known her long, but this seems… strange. More than what her injury warrants, I think.
I sigh, and slowly, so as to not bother my leg much, sit down besides her.
"C'mon Clove," I say, "What's wrong?"
She doesn't acknowledge me for a long while, so I just sit besides her, the medical supplies held loosely in my hands and look around, relaxing.
Marvel has fallen asleep on top of his sleeping bag, Cato is inside his tent, probably resting as well.
Glimmer is bullying Ian. She's leaning lightly on her axe, a mean look on her face as she towers over the sitting District 3 boy. I can't tell exactly what she's saying, but from knowing her more than a week now in close vicinity… I know its anything but nice.
I concentrate on Ian.
His head is bowed, not looking at her, and his body is angled away from her. It's obvious he fears her, but there is something in his eyes, which I can see but she can't that seems familiar.
He looks like he's waiting, bidding his time for the opportune time.
To do what? I have no idea.
His eyes dart over to me, almost as if he felt me looking at him. He holds my gaze for a moment, then looks away. I'm left feeling like I'm missing something. Something important.
Clove never accedes to my help, so I leave her my balm and bandages and go over to my space. We spend the rest of the day lazing about, recuperating. Every few hours I apply more burn salve to my leg.
We eat, we sleep… some of the others I hear having small meaningless conversations, but mostly I keep to myself. Glimmer, Ian and Marvel take turns all day standing watch over the rest of us.
Later that night, I can't sleep. It might be the burn, but it also might be everything that happened today. A little after midnight I can't take it any longer and decide to go to the lake to take a bath.
After stripping down and sumerging myself into the water a couple of times-the water is cold, but the night is not, I sit on the bank, not thinking, mind blank, just staring at the waves. Thoughts passing in and out of my head without me concentrating on anything.
My mind wanders over to the girl from district 4.
I don't even remember her name, and I realize I feel no real guilt about her death. I feel the same way about Mera, and the district 6 boy as well. It's kill or be killed, unfortunately.
I wonder if I'll make it out alive. Glancing down at Posy's necklace, I wonder what my family thinks of what I've had to do to stay stay that way. It's been almost a week now. What do they think, not only of the deaths I'm responsible for, but of me joining the careers, being one of them.
A gentle beeping noise startles me, and I notice a parachute bob down to land by my feet.
Surprised, I open it. I'm not exactly sure what to think. On one hand surprised to get the parachute and wondering the reason for it. Inside is an ice pack, not terribly useful but not unwanted, considering my throbbing leg...and a note.
It says: Hang in there hot stuff.
I snort. Haymitch's motivational bullshit helping to alleviate the inner turmoil, somewhat. I get up and walk back to camp, and not long after I actually manage to sleep.
I wake up late the next day with the sun bearing down on me. My leg hurts still, though it's in better shape than it was yesterday. Looking around I notice that Marvel, Cato and Glimmer are gone. Clove is sitting by the provisions, a spear I'm her good arm, looking half asleep, and Ian is quietly sorting through the provisions.
"Where did the rest go?" I ask Ian after greeting him, sitting besides the food and deciding to start my late breakfast off with an apple.
Ian finds a cake looking thing in a bag, and tells me while eating it that Marvel, Glimmer and Cato, whose foot and ankle where mostly healed by the morning, decided to continue hunting today while Clove and I got better. It's a good idea. If we all stayed sitting idly by, it would certainly be an invitation for the game makers to create some twisted game to entertain viewers. As it is, the possibility remains, but is lessened.
I eat some oatmeal after my banana, thinking about what to do with my recuperation day. Clove looks tired, and I decide to let her be for the time being, playing around with my stuff, booby trapping my corner of the trap more out of habit right now than actual danger that one of the others will try to get into my supplies.
After a while, my mind wanders off to Ian again, and trying not to be too obvious I focus on him.
He's a twitchy guy, looking over his shoulder constantly at Clove and at me as if he expects us at any moment to attack him. Clove notices too, even half asleep as she is and verbally abuses him for a while. He ducks his head, letting out a high pitched "sorry! I'm sorry!" Every time she stops for breath, but something seems off about his body language, his tone.
It's sad that the only other person of this group who I should have tried to allied with, considering that we are both from non career districts and therefore outcasts- is the one l know the least about.
I spend the day dozing, eating, dozing again. It's the best way to get over a fever, a headache or an upset stomach, so I'm applying the same logic to a burn. I go to the lake twice to wash out the injury, and by the time dusk arrives with the rest of our group trudging back from the forrest, I feel almost normal.
No cannons have sounded, no one has died all day.
The next morning Clove looks to be as well as she is going to be as well, and unanimously we all decide to head back to hunting. Over breakfast we discuss our strategy. We've been going mostly to the east and south searching for tributes, and only tried the fields once.
We head in that direction, everyone tense, the fields have grass ass tall as us and so we stick together, quiet, unfamiliar with the space and anxious with the silence. We don't stop for lunch and an hour to dusk decide to call it quits and head back.
Another unproductive day. No cannons.
We trudge back to camp silently. It becomes visible as the sky begins to turn from pink and orange to purple and dark blue.
For no apparent reason, as we march closer and closer, I begin to feel tense, afraid.
Back home, Rory used to say I was paranoid. I used to check the door and windows for anything odd, misplaced, suspicious.. Who would care to do anything in district 12? Steal from us? Spy on us? We were poor, unimportant, forgettable.
But this is the Hunger Games, and paranoid home is just common sense here.
"Stop." I say to the others when we are less than 50 meters away from the camp. My voice sounds hoarse, hesitant.
"Wait," I say again. Everyone does, some with faces more annoyed than others.
Cato and Clove are the angriest today, three days without any sort of action is beginning to wear on the most bloodthirsty of our group.
I shift my focus off of them and completely on whats in front of me, concentrating on the ground and anything that looks different in the camp.
"Where's 3?" says Marvel, also annoyed, "doesn't he know that the point of staying guard is actually being on guard? When he comes back from his piss I'm going to crack him a new one."
The ground looks different. I'm not crazy, and its more that what just moving around looks like. It too apparent, especially from this distance, but it looks like some of the bomb holes that protect our space from any looters have fresh dirt.
The knot in my stomach tightens. I can't be sure, not really, but Marvel noticing that Ian is not here puts me even more on edge.
I try to block out the career's babbling- Glimmer is saying something about wanting to take a bath and Cato is pissing about wanting to get to his wetstone to sharpen his sword, so could I please hurry up with whatever the hell I'm doing?
The ground's definitely changed, but its just the dirt, no extra holes. The food looks just as we left it after breakfast. Supplies haven't exactly been running out, and I haven't been paying attention to specifics, but the apple bags, the instant food stack, the crates full of the dried meat looks pretty much the same.
The logs were we had a fire last night is the same as well.
My sleeping corner is exactly as I left it. This isn't surprising, Ian has seen me trapping it, they all have.
The closest bag to mine is Clove's. I haven't payed much attention to anyone else's stuff, both because apart from an inventory of what weapons everyone has and could kill me with, I don't care how messy or clean they live.
But I've noticed Clove. She has her knife pack's all stacked up usually, and each morning while we talk about a dream she might have had or what we'll eat for breakfast she opens them all and choses the knives she wants for the day, carefully aranging them into her jacket, boots and belt. Then she'll close the pack again and put them to the right of her pillow.
I notice because it's my side. Right now, the knife packs are under the pillow.
"Glimmer, give me the bow" I say.
Glimmer narrows her eyes, and is about to scream at me, when Cato stops her.
"Do it Glimmer," he says. Maybe he's also made the conection that Ian is not comming back.
She goes red with rage, her hands clench and unclench. The bow has been a sore spot between us since the incident with the boy from 6, and usually Cato would with her. He knows I'm a better shot, they all do, but Glimmer claimed the bow first, not me, so its hers. Rules are rules.
She shoves it at me, and I have to remind her to give me an arrow as well. I think she might try stabbing me with it, so I change my balance, ready to dodge is necessary, but she just holds it out.
I hold the bow and arrow in my hand for a moment, weighing it, then look at the camp. I step forward a few steps, but I'm hesitant to get closer than I already am, and get into position.
Everyone stares at me as I take carefull aim at Clove's knife pack. She's the first one to notice what it is I'm aiming at and out of the corner of my eye I see her stiffen and begin marching towards me.
"Gale, what the hell do you think-"
I take a deep breath and exhale slowly, letting the arrow fly just like Katniss taught me. Katniss will always be better than me. Faster, more precise. But at this distance, I hit my target anyway.
Everything explodes.
The bomb I hit, hidden by the knife packs, sets off a chain reaction with the other twenty something around it. The explosion throws all of us off our feet and into the air. Shrapnel rains around us, and I go deaf for a while by the sound of the boom.
When I can open my eyes again,I feel dizzy, the whole world off kilt, and I see white spots from were the explosion was brightest. I have small burns and scratches all over me from the explosion, but thankfully nothing has really hurt me.
Around me, I see the careers having my same problems. Marvel has fallen on top of Glimmer, and they are both trying to move away from each other, but without inner ear balance fall back down in a tangle again and again. In any other situation, I think I might find it hilarious.
Clove is curled up a little to my left, probably trying to get her bearings before she tries standing up.
I can't see Cato.
If any of the other tributes came by us now, It'd be pretty easy to kill us all off.
Ian set a pretty good trap. Without me, they would have deffinetly fallen for it. There was probably a bomb mixed in with each of the supplies, with only one of them accidentaly moving anything, it would have gone up and bam, 5 tributes down.
I'm such an idiot.
I should have let them walk into the trap and stayed behind with some stupid excuse. Then all of my most dificult opponents would be gone. But warning them was instinctual, and I curse myself. I'm begining to care for these cruel, annoying and dangerous rivals.
I remind myself that when the time comes, I can't hesitate to kill them. They won't hesitate to kill me.
It takes me a while to stand up. When I finally do, hesitant leaning on the bow just in case; I look around.
Cato and Clove seem fine. They are shouting at each other but I still can't make out what they are saying. Glimmer is still on the ground, but Marvel has stood up as well, and is looking for the spear that flew out of his hand when he was thrown back.
I focus on Cato and Clove. Their words begin to make sence little my little.
"...mine... personal, son of a..." says Clove
"...How do you...all of us...from the beginning.."
"...fun...Cato, and I'll make him suffer...my knives"
Startled, I realize that they are fighting over who gets to kill Ian.
Marvel walks over to them and convinces them that our first priority is to see if we can recover anything from the campsite.
There isn't much to scavange. I hear Clove screaming and cursing every time she finds a bit of melted metal- she's obviosuly furious about the loss of her knives. I'm actually more worried about the medicine and blankets being gone.
Personally I'm not too affected. I lost an extra jacket, my sleeping bag and all the medical suplies I had been hoarding, but I have wires and rope in my backpack, so I can make traps for food, as well as matches, a thermal blanket and a roll of bandages. On my person I have 2 knives, the night goggles and a slingshot. I'm always ready, in case I have to break of from the group and go off on my own. I would be perfectly fine to do that just now if it weren't for the bow- which Glimmer has once more taken back.
Damn.
She's mediocre at best with it, and had as an extra weapon, an axe which she was pretty good at. But that got blown away with the rest of the supplies. She's never going to give me the bow now, if there was ever a chance.
I find half a charred apple, uneatable, a boot, a burning piece of cloth and a whistle.
Cato, as the unoficial leader of our group calls us all over to the lake for a meeting.
I look around and notice that no one seems to have been able to salvage anything- Except for Marvel, who somehow got ahold of an extra spear.
"Well, Clove has managed to convince me that she's going to be the one to kill 3, that little rat... but we still have to find him first. He will have noticed that no cannons sounded after the explosion, so I'm betting he ran really fast in the direction contrary from we were coming. We find him, kill him, then worry about anything else. Lets do it tonight. No fucking around."
I look around and notice them all nodding, it looks like they are all on board with this plan. But I want to split, and this seems like a better time than any.
"I have a better idea" comes out of my mouth unthinkingly. aCato glares at me, and I wince a little internally. Probably could have worded that better. But I keep on.
"With 3 gone", 3, not Ian, I say; "that means that there are now 5 tributes out there hidding. There's 5 of us. Lets each go after one."
Unspoken, we all know that by the time there are no other tributes we'll be trying to kill each other.
Clove is the first to agree, and I'm not surprised. She's the closest thing to a friend I have in the arena, and I look at her, not gratefully but...well.
Gratefully.
She glances at me then at Cato. "Works for me. I still have 3."
Cato looks at her for what seems like a long time. Glimmer whines a little about how its a stupid idea, we don't know where any of them are, we should stick with Cato's plan. Her disapproval doesn't concern me, or, apparently, Cato.
He looks at me considering, then smirks dangerously.
"You know what, fine. I'll take the district 11 boy. First day at the bloodbath I saw him run east. If I can't have 3, I'll find someone that looks like an actually challenge."
Nodding, and before I'm stuck with the little girl from 11, who I've been dreading to see the entire time we've been here, I speak up.
"I'll take the redhead from 5. She's slipped by us a couple of times already. We know she's in the woods, and she's good at hiding, but I'm a tracker, I think that on my own I'll find her."
We look at the District 1 tributes. Glimmer still looks furious, but Marvel seems to have accepted the plan. he shrugs, and flipantly says,
"I'll take the little girl. I have a sister about that age, I think I have a pretty good idea how she's hiding. You can take the cripple Glimmer."
She looks like she's going to scream, her hands are tensed into claws, and her nails are sharp enough to pierce skin. She looks at us all, first at Marvel, then Clove, Cato and finally me.
Her eyes narrow as she looks at me, and I try to make my face look blank, so as to not anger her further. Though to be honest, she's been gratting my nerves for a very long time, and just looking at her mean, pretty face makes me angry as well.
Still staring at me she curls up her lip and spits out, "Fine. But even if we do split up, we don't know where the others are. We could spend days out looking for them, without food, without shelter."
I glare back at her, ready to start a fight that I've been avoiding for a long time when we all hear the telltale beeping of a parachute. We look up. More than one parachute is coming down. 5 are.
The contents of each cylinder seem to be mostly the same. A water bottle, a couple of granola bars, a bag of jerky, an energy pill. It's not much, but each parachute must have cost an exorbitant amount of money. This must have been a joint effort from all of our sponsors and mentors, a last team effort for the unified careers.
We each grab our things, and look at each other awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed. It's Clove who speaks first.
"Well then, I'm not one for big goodbyes, and chances are I'll be seing at least one of you again soon, so I'm off." she says.
She turns southwards, anda waves at us as she shoulders her pack. We make eye contact, her gaze lingers on mine last before she turns around completely. She starts jogging easily as she goes farther away, trying to make the best of the little light left I imagine. I watch her small form, her swishing ponytail for a moment longer than the rest.
I try not to feel anything, watching her leave, and instead try to be practical.
If Clove is gone, no more reason to stay here debating what else to do.
"I'm off as well," I say. Then, a little unsure, "Bye."
Cato holds out his hand, and I take it, surprised.
His grip is strong, and he stares straight at me, a confident smirk on his face.
"It's been real, Gale" I nod, trying to keep my face neutral, unconcerned.
I stare at him, and nod. Goosebumps run up my spine. I am afraid of this boy. Marvel holds out his hand as well, and after I let go of Cato's, and I shake it as well.
"Goodbye, Gale" he says.
"Bye Marvel," I say as well.
I look at Glimmer, but she sneers at me and turns away, so shrugging, I head north, opposite Clove, and don't look back.
I hear Glimmer say something about taking one final bath in the lake before going, and Cato laughing at something Marvel says, then concentrate only on the forrest.
I've survived the first part of the hunger games, we're down to the last 10 now, and its everyone by themselves now. I walk normally through the plain until I get to the forest, but as soon as I'm out of view, I run.
AN: Quote from Sylvia Plath's famous Mad Girl's Love Song
That's it for the career alliance, from now on, every tribute for him/herself...