Author Notes: Explicit content below.

Chapter 10
Closer and Closer

Summary:

There is a reshaping of how they see each other.

Days passed and Axel didn't bother with Roxas. The most he did was to suggest for Roxas to drop his towel, whenever he caught sight of him after a shower. He never expected a response, so the day he got one had been rather surprising.

Instead of walking to his room, Roxas veered off and came to a standstill between Axel's legs as he lounged on the sofa.

"Oh, hey." Axel took in the view. Was it weird that he wanted to chew on Roxas' stomach and arms?

"Hey." Roxas looked down, somewhat flushed.

"You took your sweet ass time in there today."

"You keeping tabs on me?"

"Trying to figure out how much hot water might be left," he passed off.

"Plenty. I was in there so long to get ready."

"Ready? You got a hot date?" Irritation sprung up. Axel felt cheated if Roxas was going to get sex tonight from someone other than himself. He'd been so close twice already. To have Roxas be over his mental shit and not reward Axel for all his patience was unconscionable.

"No date. But a very important meeting with your cock."

"What?" Had he heard right?

Roxas dropped his towel and Axel stared at Roxas' nakedness. He was sporting a semi-hard erection. Axel licked his lips. Scratch wanting to gnaw on Roxas' upper body. He wanted to suck and tend to that erection, which was so enticingly almost at his eye level, as he sat slumped on the sofa.

"Will you do me?" Roxas' stomach moved with nervous breath.

Axel somehow dragged his eyes off his penis and onto blue eyes. "Yeah," he breathed and wrapped arms around Roxas' hips and backside. He pulled him closer, leaned in, and licked the tip of Roxas' head.

Roxas made a small pleased sound and threaded fingers through Axel's hair.

"You got anything specific in mind?" Axel tilted his head up to look at Roxas, but also opened his mouth wider and took him in while he waited for a response.

Roxas' eyes fluttered, the pleasurable sound increased, as did the grip on Axel's hair. He pushed hips forward and his penis a little deeper into Axel's accepting mouth. "This - is good. But - I want you in my butt too."

Axel smiled against Roxas' flesh, hummed and swallowed him down even further. He sucked and scraped teeth against the already much harder shaft. He felt his own erection growing and was eager to finally be able to push into Roxas' arse.

Axel picked up his pacing a little, wanting to push Roxas to groan louder, which he did. Axel's penis twitched in response and he moaned against Roxas' head, which caused Roxas to groan even more.

He pulled off Roxas and licked lips. "Gonna need lube. Your room or mine?"

Roxas looked somewhat dazed, slowly finding Axel's eyes. "Yeah, whichever."

"All right. Yours then. I'll grab some of your condoms for my room so we can be in there next time."

Roxas stepped back a little, to give Axel space to stand up, which he did. Just then the familiar ringtone of his phone went off, and with it the thought of 'Oh fuck, not again.'

Roxas looked at the table. "It's Larxene."

"Fuck her, and not in the literal sense. I'm not gonna let her ruin the mood again." He grabbed Roxas' arm and started pulling him away to the bedroom.

Roxas however resisted and picked up the phone, answering it. "Hey Larxene." - "No, it's Roxas." - "Yeah, Axel's here. But he's about to get very busy." - "Yeah, busy. With me. He'll talk to you tomorrow. Night." With that Roxas hung up and threw the phone onto the sofa.

Axel stared, and when it was all over he laughed. "Well holy shit, Rox. Aren't you a bit possessive."

"She can have you any other night. But now it's my turn." Roxas took the lead and pulled Axel into his room.

Axel was pushed onto the bed and Roxas descended on him, stripping off his shirt and casting it aside. Axel felt so turned on in the way Roxas was being territorial over him and pushing him around. It was a hell more sexy than when Larxene did it. Maybe because she was always bossy, while Roxas wasn't normally like that… as far as Axel knew anyway.

Roxas pressed lips to Axel's nipple ring and tongued him, while pinching the other one. It causes a delightful tingling sensation to radiate outward. "You like that?" Axel rumbled with pleasure.

"It's your hottest feature," Roxas mouthed around the metal and continued playing with it.

Axel ran his hand down Roxas' back and over his buttock once more. Finger traced the parting. "Lube," he reiterated.

Roxas peeled off Axel with a popping sound as his mouth left skin. He crawled over to his bedside stand and fished around.

Axel looked at the way pert and tight cheeks were presented before him. He couldn't help himself. He reached over, groped and spread the halves apart.

"What're you doing?" Roxas threw out.

"Tell me if this feels weird and you don't like it." Axel scooched over, bent down and placed a kiss on Roxas' scrotum, which made Roxas flinch a little. But there was no protest so, Axel continued.

He ran tongue up over sensitive flesh towards Roxas' anus. Roxas squirmed a little, gasping, but continued to hold his tongue. The fact that Roxas was letting him do this was already a huge turn on. Axel licked and swirled his tongue around Roxas' puckered sphincter, getting closer to the center with every sweep.

Roxas' breathing came harder and a fraction more ragged. "Wow," he breathed out.

Axel pulled back a bit to get words out, "Never had a rim job?" He returned his mouth to Roxas' backside, placing kisses and pulling ever so gently at flesh with his lips.

"No. Never."

"You like it, yeah?"

"Yeah." Roxas threw a look over his shoulder toward Axel.

Half-lidded eyes and rosy cheeks greeted him. Axel lived for moments like these. "It'll feel even better in a second." He ran one hand down to fondle Roxas' sac, and kept cheeks spread with his other. Axel went back in and continued running his tongue around the ridges of the tight ring of muscles. He probed Roxas' sphincter, and pushed gently against the puckering.

A sharp breath left Roxas' body.

Axel pulled away. "No good?"

"Unexpected. Keep going."

"Kay. Just relax."

Roxas hummed and breathed deep, keeping his backside up in the air while he supported himself on elbows.

Axel grinned and pushed his face back in, lapping at Roxas. He got great satisfaction from the breathy mutterings which emanated from Roxas chest. He pushed his tongue a little bit into Roxas' tight hole. It netted Axel a pleasant whimper. He ran tongue around the entrance, rubbing lightly and pushing just a little bit deeper, especially when Roxas pushed his hips back against Axel and moaned.

"Fuck me, Axel."

Axel didn't know if it was a command, of just an excited exclamation. He continued working his tongue around and began sucking gently with his lips.

He never even contemplated that he'd ever be doing this to Roxas. It excited Axel a lot. His heartbeat pulsed through his core. His penis was as hard as it had ever been. He had almost forgotten how much he enjoyed the thrill of having sex with someone new. And if what Roxas had said was indeed a command he wanted to fulfill it.

Normally he loved eating Demyx out until he came - and would also love to do the same for Roxas… but not tonight. Not when he had been teased and left high and dry twice already. He wanted to get his cock in there. To feel Roxas' muscles clench against him and to feel himself come into his arse.

As a parting gift Axel rubbed his tongue in and out of Roxas in quick succession before he pulled out completely. That motion forced a high pitched squeak out of Roxas and he seemed to miss Axel's presence, if the way he rocked his backside towards Axel meant anything.

"Lube, babe."

A bottle was handed to him after a moment, and then a condom was thrown and landed next to Axel's knee, while he slathered some lube onto his fingers.

Roxas was still on elbows and knees in front of him. Axel was overcome with hunger for Roxas. He pushed a slippery finger into the other man, and maneuvered it around in slow circles, like he had done with his tongue.

He watched Roxas fiddle with one of his own condoms, and took great enjoyment from catching him fumble when Axel pushed another finger into him without warning.

Roxas moaned as he was stretched lightly. And then he groaned more when another digit was inserted.

"It's been so long, I almost forgot how much I miss being fucked," Roxas moaned into his pillow.

"Yeah, you must have been deprived big time. Wait till I introduce you to my cock. You're gonna love it."

Roxas looked behind himself, face flushed even more. "Hurry up then. Get your pants off."

Axel smirked and leaned back, so he could access his pants easier. He unbuttoned and unzipped himself with one hand, while continuing to finger and stretch Roxas with the other. Roxas helped him out by rocking against Axel's hands every time Axel lost focus while he wrestled with getting his clothes off.

"Don't worry about it. Just push them off halfway and fuck me already," Roxas bemoaned.

"As you wish." Axel abandoned getting pants all the way off, pulled fingers out, to Roxas' protest, and worked on getting his condom on.

Roxas meanwhile rolled over, spread his legs out wide at either side of Axel and rested on elbows, watching.

Axel got a little distracted as his eyes trailed and lingered over Roxas. He was well-toned thanks to his youth. The fine hairs blended into his skin tone and his dense body hair was well trimmed and maintained. Axel could appreciate Roxas having taken his sweet time in the bathroom today if this was the outcome.

He caught the way gorgeous big blue eyes got even bigger when Axel managed to get his condom on and moved his hands away so Roxas could see. There was a lick of lips and a slightly deeper inhale of breath.

"Like what you see?"

"Uh-huh. That butt plug definitely wasn't giving out false promises."

Axel laughed and scooched closer. He positioned himself between Roxas' legs, made sure his pants and briefs were enough out of the way, and nudged Roxas' anus with the very tip of his penis. "So we finally get to do this."

"Yeah. Fuck me, Axel. What're you waiting for?" A dangerously sexy smirk blossomed on Roxas' face.

Axel leaned over Roxas, placing hand at either side. "Nothing at all." He pushed a little, nudging hips closer towards Roxas, and forcing the head of his penis into glorious warm tightness. A satisfying moan seeped out. It grew in intensity and volume the further Axel went. He hated censoring himself, especially when it came to sex, so he never bothered with it.

Roxas also made a pleased and satisfied sound the wider Axel stretched him. "So good. Fuck I've missed this." Roxas threw his arms over his head, and continued muttering into them.

When Axel had pushed into Roxas as far as he could he rested and breathed deep. He focused on the feel of Roxas around him. Every small motion he made squeezed Axel in some way. He loved eating out guys - but being inside them was just so fucking good too.

Roxas breathed in, pulled arms off his head and stared at Axel. "Pound me into the mattress."

That was all it took for Axel to get started. He didn't hold back, pulling out and pushing in as hard and as fast as he could. He pounded into Roxas like Roxas and also Axel wanted.

The bed creaked and thumped against the wall. Both men moaned and groaned. Roxas threw out encouragements for Axel, as well as challenges. "Is that the best you can do?" - "C'mon Axel, faster - harder - deeper."

Axel obliged, wanting to prove that he could deliver on anything Roxas demanded. Sex with Roxas was exhilarating.

He pushed Roxas to the brink. He pinned his arms beside his head, he bit and nibbled on Roxas' neck, not caring how much he marred skin, and Roxas almost screamed his name when he finally came.

Roxas' body was so intense in the way muscles gripped Axel, that he had no problem coming after a few more deep thrusts.

He panted from the exertion and slumped atop of Roxas while both tried to recover. He pushed his head under Roxas' chin and listened to the thudding of his heart, feeling great satisfaction in having been the cause of it.

Roxas' hands lazily brushed at hair and fingered over the sweat-soaked skin of Axel's back. Axel curled fingers and stroked at the faint outlines of Roxas' ribs. It was weirdly peaceful. Usually Axel just kicked his bed partners out. But he was tired, so it was probably okay to rest like this for a moment or two longer. Plus Roxas wasn't kicking him out just yet.

After an indeterminable amount of time Axel just had to ask, "How you holdin' up? Did I stir up any pesky feelings?"

After a few deep, and still rather ragged breathes, Roxas managed to squeeze out a response, "None - except for the feeling that I wanna do this with you a lot more."

That was the most satisfying answer of them all.

Larxene came around a lot less frequently, as did Demyx. Demyx seemed less pissed off about the whole thing than Larxene, but instead gushed about irritating things like love. If Axel had known that getting a third fuck buddy would cause him so much strife… well he never finished that thought. He didn't think he'd ever trade Roxas out for the world.

Roxas was always ready to drop his pants and fuck Axel, or be fucked by Axel. Even when they didn't plan on doing anything but chilling out, they still happily obliged each other if the need or want ever hit either of them.

That was convenience Axel could never pass up, and he told himself it was a big reason for him almost exclusively seeing Roxas now. If he was living with either Demyx or Larxene it would probably be much the same way. But he was very glad he wasn't rooming with them.

He was feeling exceptionally horny one day, and made short work of the walk between the library and his dorm room.

"Roxas, your favorite cocksucker's home to do his second job!" He closed the door and turned on the hallway light. Everything was oddly quiet. There was no smell of food or a single light on anywhere. Had he gone out? It didn't happen often, but it wasn't impossible.

Axel turned on the lamp by the sofa and peeked through the gap of Roxas' door. It was dark and abandoned in there, with no sign of Roxas at his computer or in his bed.

Axel frowned. He had really wanted to spend some time teasing Roxas mercilessly, and then make good on his taunts. But since that wasn't going to happen he went to his snack cupboard, grabbed the first thing that was within reach, and went to his room to go over some of his design schematics, since a major project was due in a few weeks.

It wasn't very long after he sat down and launched all his relevant programs that he heard a small sound. It wasn't the normal creak and squeak of the building, nor the sound of anyone commuting down the hallway.

"Roxas?" he called out. The indiscernible sound stopped. Axel got up and went back towards Roxas' room. "I'm coming in," he announced, pushing the door open further and switched the light on. It was still empty and abandoned. Had he imagined it?

Axel walked around the other side of the bed, to see if Roxas was hiding, but found nothing. He hummed and muttered, "Oh well," and made to leave but stopped. The noise sprung up again. He was closer now so he could make out that it sounded like a hiccup.

He turned towards the built-in wardrobe, opposite of the bed, and smirked. Stepping towards it he flung the doors wide open. "Ha! Found you!" he declared, while eyes darted. All he saw was clothes hanging up. There came a tiny squeak and Axel's eyes dropped to find Roxas on the floor, hugging his knees.

He looked up at Axel, eyes completely bloodshot, tears streaming and face splotchy and red.

Axel's mouth began hanging open, but he found his voice. "Roxas, what's wrong? Why're you in the closet? Why're you crying?"

"I -," voice tapered out in a high pitched squeak and more tears came. Roxas' eyes squeezed shut and he lowered his head onto knees.

Axel pushed clothes aside, stepped into the closet, closed the door and sat down next to Roxas, pulling his quivering form to himself. The light from the bedroom filtered through the wooden slats of the closet door, leaving stripey shadows on the both of them.

"Did someone hurt you?" Axel growled. He was going to smash whoever it was.

Roxas shook his head, but continued to blubber and sniffle. Axel pulled Roxas even closer, tucking wet face against his neck and stroking hair and cheek.

They sat together. Axel kept patting and stroking, and making quiet shushing sounds, trying to be soothing, though he had no clue if he was doing it right.

"What happened?" Axel muffled against Roxas' hair, once crying had eased a little.

"My m-om - she got -,' more sobs came.

"She all right?"

"Du-nno," Roxas squeaked and more tears came.

"Ah fuck." Axel hugged him tight and left kisses in hair. He felt terribly uncomfortable seeing Roxas like this. He felt powerless and useless. "When did you get the news?"

"Dunno. A wh-while a-after you left?"

He rubbed Roxas' arm lightly, which had been tucked around Axel's chest. Despite the red and heated cheeks, Roxas felt so cold. "You should have called me, or come and seen me."

"Y-y-you were wor-king."

"Work's not important. I could have left early - not like they care. Or I could have hidden out with you in the cupboard under the basement stairs if I couldn't get out. So no excuse really."

Roxas sniffled and stuttered out, "I wa-was sc-scared."

"Scared? Of what?"

"Y-you laugh-ing at me. - C-crybaby." Roxas squeaked again and sobbed once more.

Axel frowned and wanted to go back in time to punch his younger self. He wrapped his arms around Roxas' head and left more kisses. "I'm sorry for making you think that. I'd never laugh at you for being sad about this. Other things - sure. But this? Never."

Roxas breathed deep for a while. His hysterical upset settled a little and he pushed his face against Axel's neck, muffling, "I know y-you don't like me ta-talking about family."

Axel grumbled at all the valid excuses Roxas has for not coming to him with this. "God, am I really such a fucking asshole?"

"Yeah."

Axel felt relieved to catch the feel of a small smile pressing against his skin. "Well I don't want you to ever think you can't come to me when you're upset. You've been sitting in here for hours. You haven't eaten, have you?"

Roxas shook his head.

Axel shifted, gently moving Roxas off himself and stood up. "C'mon, I'm gonna cook you whatever you were gonna make tonight." He then hauled Roxas up onto his feet to join him.

"You gonna poison me?" came Roxas' now much more even and settled voice.

"I won't if you tell me what to do." He pushed flattened hair out of Roxas' face and looked at him with sympathy. Roxas looked as awful as was to be expected of someone who had locked themselves away with nothing but pained misery for company.

Axel wished he could have been there from the start. It bothered him to think of Roxas in the shitty closet. He opened the door and pulled Roxas out into the room beyond and matched them both towards the kitchen.

"So what were you gonna make tonight?"

"Fish curry."

Axel chuckled. "Where you gonna show me up?"

"Yeah"

"Well now I can redeem myself." He pushed Roxas into the chair and then flitted around the kitchen, following Roxas' instructions. Every time Axel got something wrong it made Roxas smile or laugh, so Axel suddenly became even more clumsy and buffoon-like in the kitchen than he normally was. Anything to make Roxas cheer up.

Within the hour Axel had cobbled together their dinner and served it up on the tiny dining table. He sat down on a stool he had 'acquired' from the Library, and watched with baited breath as Roxas smelled the meal.

Roxas looked at Axel with worry in his eyes and took a small mouthful, and then gave Axel a tremendous frown.

"Still no good, even after all that coaching?"

Roxas' eyes gave nothing away as he looked from bowl, to Axel, and back to bowl. He took a dramatic breath and all hardness fell away as a radiant smile appeared. "Tastes great," and he resumed taking small spoonfuls.

He groaned inwardly at that smile. "You fucking troll," was Axel's affectionate response and he also started eating, but kept an eye on Roxas, who didn't seem to have much of an appetite, rather focusing on checking his phone a million times between spoonfuls. And every time he looked he seemed to eat less and less.

Axel reached over and confiscated the phone to loud protests.

"What're you doing? Give that back!" Roxas sprang up and reached for it across the table, making wooden legs groan against floor, and dishes clink.

Axel stretched and moved the phone well out of Roxas' reach. "If it makes a sound you get to check it. Now sit down and eat."

"Fuck you!"

"Later. Eat." He pushed on Roxas' shoulder, to make him back off.

Roxas scowled, threw hateful daggers at Axel and longing glances at his phone. It didn't faze Axel though. Roxas, after a few more moments of apparent irritation, sat back down and grumpily ate his meal.

The phone didn't make a sound.

Afterwards Axel sat Roxas down in front of the television, flicked over to his favorite talk show, which was about halfway done, and returned the phone to him. Roxas was onto it like a fly on shit, obsessively checking his mail, messages and call history.

Axel left him there while he went to clean up and do the dishes. He wondered what had happened to Roxas' mother. He got that Roxas was very close to his parents. He didn't even feel quite so irritated about it anymore, having come to accept that he shouldn't hold it against others that his own parents were such dickheads.

Axel's thoughts also turned to feeling irritated that Roxas had chosen to hide in a closet rather than be comforted by Axel. They were friends after all. They got on really well together. Roxas having a low opinion of Axel is what pissed him off the most.

When he was done he joined Roxas on the sofa. He still sat in exactly the same position that Axel had left him in. He seemed to take no notice of Axel as he passed by and sat on his side. The guy wasn't even paying attention to the show, but just looking down at his phone, apparently willing the universe to let some sort of news come through.

"Rox, what happened?"

Roxas jumped and after some bewildered head rotations found Axel. A pained frown and fresh tears welled up. "Mom got hit by a car."

"Shit."

"She's in the ICU." The tears rolled.

"She's getting looked after though, that's good."

Roxas gave a weak nod.

Axel didn't know what to do. "You want anything? Want me to go get your friends to talk to?"

Roxas shook his head.

Axel bit his lip lightly. He felt so useless. It pissed him off that it actually bothered him so much.

"Ax."

"Mm?"

"Can I… ," weepy eyes fell away.

"What you need?"

With trembling lip and a tiny voice he squeaked out, "A hug?"

It gutted Axel. " 'Course. Come here." He stretched his arms out and beckoned Roxas over.

Still clutching his phone Roxas scrambled over to Axel, faced him and straddled his lap. Arms went around Axel's torso, under armpits and Roxas tucked his chin in the crook of Axel's neck.

Axel folded his arms around Roxas' back, rubbing gently, and held him close.

Roxas shook with tiny sobs from time to time. Axel kept rubbing and patting his back, tightening his hold around Roxas every time he felt him shake. This was miserable. Axel was exhausted and irritated. He thought of the work he should be doing, but the thought of leaving Roxas to his own devices caused an uncomfortable sickness to well inside his chest. So he stayed put.

Eventually Roxas' breathing evened out, and Axel wondered if he had actually fallen asleep. He was certainly feeling himself doze off too. The program that had been on was long over, and some teleshopping show was running instead. There were only so many floral plates Axel could look at before he would lose his mind.

There was a buzzing from behind Axel's head. Roxas stirred gently, and then his movements became sharp. Axel let go and Roxas was on his feet.

"Dad! How's mom? What's been happening?" Roxas paced up and down the room as he listened intently and made small humming sounds.

Axel got up and stretched out his stiff joints. He also turned off the television, and hoped he wouldn't have floral nightmares tonight.

"Yeah, okay." - "Mmhmm." - "But what if something happens?" - "Dad!" - "Fine." - "I love you too. Night." Roxas sounded excessively grumpy before softening up again and hanging up the phone.

Axel looked at him and got a response without having to ask, "She's still in ICU - and in a critical state - but they stabilized her. She should be okay?"

"That's a relief."

"Yeah. Thank fuck." Roxas exhaled and then suddenly crumpled to the floor and crouched.

Axel approached and knelt next to him, rubbing his back. "C'mon. It's been a fucking long night. Brush your teeth, turn your phone off and go to bed."

"That's exactly what my dad said. You're such a fucking parent, Axel."

It made him chuckle. "Must mean I'm super wise then, and you should listen to me and your dad." He patted Roxas and they both rose together.

Roxas went into the bathroom and Axel retreated to his own room, throwing his project a forlorn look. He'd have to catch up on the weekend. What a fucking pain in the butt. He shut everything down, stripped and put on his flannel pajama bottoms.

In the meantime he had heard Roxas leave the bathroom and throw out a, "Night, Axel."

"Night, Rox. Get some sleep," but he received no response.

He went to the bathroom, washed his face and brushed his teeth. He was glad Roxas had gotten some good news or the night would probably have been completely lost. He didn't like seeing Roxas upset. He liked him being happy, or grumpy, or stressed, or horny. Definitely horny, and definitely not upset. Axel pouted at himself in the mirror, and briefly lamented how pear-shaped the whole evening had gotten.

He left, but before heading for his bed he decided to check in one more time with Roxas. He knocked gently and pushed the door open. Roxas' room was dark, but Axel could still see that sad face illuminated by the phone's backlight. It made Axel frown. He was supposed to be sleeping.

"Rox, put that away."

Roxas dropped the phone, somewhat startled. "Huh? What you doing here?" he got out with aggravation.

"Was checking if you needed anything before I turn in."

"Nothing." Roxas went back to staring at his phone.

Axel grumbled. "Whatever then," and pulled the door shut, but before he got it completely closed -

"Ax -"

He opened the gap a little wider again. "What?"

Roxas sat up. "Uh - can you… can I ask a favor?"

"Ah, sure. What's up?"

"I -" a very long pause followed before, "I don't want to be alone," was mumbled.

Axel pushed the smile back down before it could settle on his face. "Fine. But I'm not sleeping in your bed. You come over to my room. And leave your phone here, or no admittance."

Axel left Roxas to ponder what was more important to him - being attached to his phone, or snuggling with a human being - and lay down in his comfortable and somewhat bigger bed.

His door creaked open a few minutes later. He still hadn't fixed it - and realistically probably never would. Axel lifted blanket and Roxas crawled in, pushing his body against Axel and pressed his face against his chest.

"Thanks."

"Mm, it's fine." Axel wrapped an arm around Roxas and rested his chin atop of his head. This was so not something Axel ever did with anyone - but it was nice. Or would have been, if Roxas wasn't so damn restless.

Roxas fidgeted, and shifted way too much. Axel wondered if this is what sleeping with him would be like, or if it was just that today was completely fucked up. "Can you just be still?" he snapped.

"Sorry. This was a bad idea. I'll go and let you get some sleep." Roxas made to leave but Axel pulled him back down.

"No. Stay. How 'bout you tell me something about your mom?"

"Really?"

"Mm."

Roxas snuggled back down against Axel, which made him smile. Roxas was adorable when he was being cuddly.

"Well… she used to work a lot. I spent more time with dad during the week. But she always made time on weekends. We'd go visit the beach. Build little castles and dig holes as deep as we could. She always let me bury her in them afterwards. And then dad would spend ages digging her out again," he laughed but also sniffled and rubbed his face against Axel's chest.

Axel ran his hand through Roxas' hair, rubbing gently and holding him close. "Sounds fun."

"It was. And then at the end of the day we'd all eat ice cream while we watched the sun set over the ocean. And then I slept and slept until I woke up in my bed at home." Roxas squeezed Axel a little. "I hope she'll be okay."

"I'm sure she is."

Roxas began shaking softly with tears. Axel made another attempt at hushing sounds and pressed kisses into his hair.

Roxas settled down again. "What about your mom?" he asked gently.

The instinct was to bite and tell Roxas to mind his own business, but Axel managed to cool it. "Well you know I don't like my parents."

"Yeah."

"She was also always busy. But never made time. I always felt like an inconvenience for being born or something. Like everything was my fault, until I realized it wasn't."

"Did you ever do anything nice together as a family?"

Axel breathed out and thought hard. The past felt like an impenetrable fog. Not much stood out, except the times spent in front of the television - getting the odd praise from both his parents for doing well - and Roxas giving him that stuff at his graduation. Something swelled inside, and Axel hugged Roxas tight.

Roxas squeezed back in response and Axel felt a kiss press to his chest. He gave one back, planting it on Roxas' hair. "We might have gone to visit my grandparents once for Christmas - the year I started middle school. I think nobody actually argued that year. That's the only thing I've got."

"That sucks."

"It's long gone. All good now. I'm living my life and no longer reliant on them for anything."

"You happier?"

"Loads."

"Good," Roxas said quietly and yawned a little.

Axel ran fingers through Roxas' hair and began humming a tune which had floated into his head. Roxas' body grew softer as he relaxed.

"Thanks for being here, Axel."

It made him smile. "No worries. Night, Rox."

"Night, Ax," he mumbled and fell silent, breathing deep and slow.

Axel however wasn't quite so lucky. He stayed awake for a while, thinking about his family and about why he was being so nice to Roxas. Had any of his other friends been so sooky, Axel would have given them some tough love. But Roxas was a bit of a delicate flower so he needed to pander to him. The only conclusion he could find was that it was important to keep his roommate happy so they could continue having amazing sex on a regular basis.

Once he made peace with that being a valid excuse, he got to sleep.