Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica
a/n: italics are inner thoughts. And the lines beginning with '…' and ending with '…' belong to Misaki's "little voice" of the heart.
You make me smile
The four tired individuals lugged themselves in to Akihiko's apartment. Misaki ripped his tie the rest of the way off and slung it on to the couch.
"God damn I hate wearing these stuffy things…Usami, I don't know how you do it all the time." Misaki slid his upper body down the back of the couch and took his seat. He ran his fingers through his hair and let out an exasperated sigh. Akihiko studied his face…his eyes…his hair, as it fell strand by strand back into place after gliding through Misaki's skilled fingers. He was beautiful.
Misaki leaned forward and picked up Nowaki's clinical analysis and began to read, holding it with one hand…the other hand worked slowly at unbuttoning his long-sleeved suit shirt. Akihiko was completely oblivious to the chatter and movement of the other two parties in the room, he simply stood…staring at Misaki as he undid the buttons…one by one…
Misaki continued reading…fully concentrated. Once his shirt was undone, he wiggled his shoulder a bit to help slide one arm free from the encasing silk. He then switched hands for reading the paper, and repeated the same movement with the other arm…leaving his silk shirt behind him.
Akihiko could not peel his eyes away. Misaki's body was too alluring. He admired the boy, now shirtless, sitting on his couch. His milky white skin radiated heat, his muscled arms were perfect…not too muscular, but enough to create intricate dips and curves in his skin…he watched as those intense eyes scanned each line carefully…he was hypnotized.
"Mm. This is good. Much better than your last attempt; however, I think that you are describing the heart sounds wrong…with this particular cardiomyopathy your S1 is going to be strong, but your S2 will be shallow…almost like if it were surrounded with fluid…" Misaki said with his eyes on the paper. He then looked up curiously when he got no reply…"Um…is there something on my face?" He asked when he noticed that his three companions were all staring at him.
"My lord…I need to excuse myself. I can't look at you much longer without wanting to pounce on you…" Aikawa said sighing. "I will see you both next week. Usami-sensei...I will destroy you if you don't have the manuscript done by then…"Her eyes were stern, and they would have pierced Akihiko all the way to the bone if he was not so preoccupied…
With that, Aikawa exited…Nowaki finally came back to reality, "Well thanks so much for looking it over Misaki…I really do need to go, I'll fix my heart sound description when I get home…"
"Um. Sure. Anytime. Here you go." Misaki said, standing up and extending the paper to his friend. Nowaki swallowed hard as he took in the sight before him…the tighter his pants grew, the quicker he knew he needed to leave. Nowaki nodded, grabbed the paper, and left after thanking Misaki one more time.
The door clicked shut. "Uuwaahh! I need a drink…how about you?" Misaki said in a tired but happy tone. His big green eyes locked in on Akihiko.
"Hm. Sure, I could go for a drink…" Akihiko then made his way to the kitchen and retrieved a bottle of wine.
After a few glasses, and some very entertaining conversation about the stuffy American's at the convention…both men were recovering from laughter. Akihiko stood to go and put the wine away, since he knew it was time to end the evening.
It wasn't that he didn't want to bang the shit out Misaki tonight, but he was pleased with seeing him like this…just relaxed and real…enjoying himself without any worries. Although, Akihiko struggled with the butterflies in his stomach disrupting his thought process every time Misaki smiled. And lest we not forget how difficult it had been to have a 'light-hearted' conversation when Misaki was shirtless…but Akihiko's will power prevailed, and he was disappointed and proud at the same time.
On his way back to the living room, Akihiko smacked his foot into the leg of one of the side tables, "FUCK! SON OF A BITCH!" He yelled as he hopped around on one leg…holding the injured foot.
Misaki just laughed…it was a loud, pure laugh…that made Akihiko smile through his pain, "I-I'm…sorry," Misaki sputtered through giggles, "It's – It's just…you look like a rabbit (usagi)…hopping around…like that…(he was now laughing so hard that tears were forming at the corners of his eyes…then he took a breath)…ahhhh, that was great…are you ok, Usagi-san?" Misaki erupted into laughter again.
Akihiko had started laughing too, he knew he had to look pretty ridiculous hopping around…however, the laughing caused him to lose focus; he lost his balance and was suddenly headed in the direction of the floor.
"Watch out!" Misaki yelled through his laughter. Akihiko then braced himself, but the smack to the head never came. When he opened his eyes, he was met with a smiling Misaki…his eyes gleaming. Misaki had somehow managed to place his hand underneath Akihiko's head before he hit the ground. But now he was straddled over Akihiko, only inches from his face.
He could see, hear, and feel Misaki's heavy breathing from all the laughter…Misaki's exposed chest was rising and falling directly over Akihiko's…Misaki was beaming a bright smile. He could feel the young man's soft, warm hands…tangled in his hair beneath him. Misaki's weight, resting on his elbows, just near either side of Akihiko's neck.
As they looked at one another, they both thought of their positions…how they got there…and then…they laughed…they stayed in that position on the floor and utterly cracked up…Akihiko's eyes were watering, and they were shut tight with laughter…and then he felt it…
Misaki couldn't help himself…it had been years since he was this happy…silly…he leaned in, and while still smiling, still laughing he kissed the older man below him.
Both men then began a round of small pecks between dying laughter…Akihiko had never felt so carefree…and Misaki had never felt so light-hearted…neither man made a single move to touch anything other than each other's lips…
Finally Misaki ended the round of kisses, looking down into the violet eyes he was growing so fond of, then he spoke…"You make me smile…" Misaki said before he lifted himself up off of the floor, and up off of Akihiko. He took one more sip of wine…finishing off his glass on the table. "Goodnight Usagi-san." He said playfully and then disappeared.
Akihiko laid there on the floor, panting from all the laughter. He was in some sort of bliss…'you make me smile'….'you make me smile'…he kept playing those four words over in his head. He was baffled at how Misaki could turn his heart upside down with only four simple words, when he…an author…couldn't covey anything nearly as well with a thousand words.
~In Misaki's room~
Misaki lay, in the dark, stretched out on his back…his eyes were closed peacefully…and a smile still lingered on his face….
'what am I doing?'
…falling in love…
'I can't'
…you're probably right, but you can't stop it now…
'he makes me smile…he makes me forget the pain, even if only momentarily…and with just one touch he melts the icy shell encasing my body…and my hear'
…told you…you are falling in love…poor man…
'shut up! I know. I can't fall in love with him, because I couldn't bear to see him disappear'
…and he will…you know he will…just like Reece…
(pain shot across Misaki's face) 'but I never got the chance to love Reece…because I didn't realize it until he was gone…can I even afford to repeat the same mistake?'
…he will never love you, how could he…you killed your parents, ruined your brother's life…drove away Reece…you're an icy cold man…destined to be alone…
(tears began to streak down Misaki's face) 'I want him to love me…I want to love him…I want…'
…hush now…and go to sleep…alone…the way you know it should be…if you love him, then never let yourself tell him so…never let him fall for you…because you will only cause him pain…and yourself pain…so sleep…alone…the way it should be…
Even has he fell into a lonely dream world, the tears did not stop. The little voice in his head was right. He needed to be alone…he needed to dream of Reece…to dream of Akihiko…to merely dream of someone he loved, he was sure that that would be enough.
~In Akihiko's room~
Akihiko finally managed to get up off the floor of the living room…he drug himself to bed…with a smile still lingering on his face. He closed his eyes, and lay stretched out on his back.
I love him…how did it even come to this…I thought I would never love anyone but Takahiro…but now…I love him…his smile…his laugh…his music…his movements…his eyes…his lips…his mystery…his everything…makes my heart race…makes my mouth dry…how did this happen…how did that boy even manage to break open my calloused heart…I was so used to being on the outside of love…so used to being alone, with only my dreams to keep me sane…but now, I don't know if I could breathe without him…could he ever love me in return…I want to hold him…I want to show him how much I care…I want him to know I'll never abandon him…if he would only stay by my side…that would be enough…for all eternity, I would be content…
Akihiko finally drifted from his thoughts and began to dream. The smile never leaving his face.
~Back in Misaki's room~
Misaki lay curled into a ball in his bed…half asleep, half awake.
'he is like fire…my fire…'
…and you, are ice…
To Be Continued.
+ Passage from Misaki's Journal +
I miss you. I miss everything about you.
How could you leave me like this? Before I ever showed you I loved you.
I need you.
In my dreams, I see you
And as painful as it is, it's all that I can do.
A/N: I received this review, and since I cannot directly message this person, I thought I would post my response here…
"Your writing is perfectly fine, well described and grammatical, but I think your characterisation needs a lot of work. You have portrayed Misaki as a Mary-Sue - he's good at everything from cooking, taking care of children, playing the piano to an unreasonable standard. Doctors call him up for diagnoses? That's not feasible or in character. The other characters were fine - it's just Misaki would be Mary-Sue-ish even for an OC, not even to mention the original character, and I just can't read this because of it." – sorry but,
I have to disagree. I have mirrored Misaki's dreamy personality off of someone I actually know (a gay guy) who can do all of these things. I kept the cooking and cleaning because it was a vital part of the original story…however, I do not think it is unrealistic to be that musically inclined…as for being good with kids, that is just a character trait that is important in a man for me…I didn't mean to make Misaki seem "mary-sue". And Nowaki is Misaki's best-friend, and he is a medical student…not a doctor…since I am a nursing student, I mirrored Misaki's medical knowledge and the ability to help his friend with the way my fellow students and me are…I also wanted to show that Misaki spent a lot of time alone, with a lot of free time…and because of this, he became well versed in the medical field. While I disagree with you're your comments, I appreciate them…if anyone else feels the same please do not hesitate to let me know. I will assure you though, 'sorry but,' that I have completed the chapter's where you get to admire Misaki's talents, and heart-warming characteristics…I will now be focusing more on his emotions and inner battles…explaining why he has become so jaded. Thank you again for taking the time to read my story…and I am terribly sorry that my envisionment of Misaki was unclear, and therefore not to your liking…however if you do continue to read…which I would love…I hope you can give me more feedback. I will most likely have Misaki display his talents again, but not nearly as heavily.
To all my other readers, please let me know your honest opinions as well…they do not hurt my feelings…I enjoy them because they help me grow as a writer…and they give me a chance to better explain myself.
Till my next chapter is out! TTYL
Signed – mypieceofmind – Jess B.