Author's Note: This is a long note; sorry in advance. I have 2 people to thank for this chapter. The first person is Cocobean2206 because after numerous PMs, she pretty much appointed herself my beta reader and gave me some great suggestions. She seriously helped me out with the mechanical problems of getting people in the right places at the right times, and a few other important things. I secretly think she did it to get first access to the rest of the story before anyone else, but I'm not complaining ;)
Second is one of my best friends. Marie, who has never seen the show, told me I should kill off Andy and have Sam and Kate name their firstborn after her. Don't worry. I told her you would eat me alive.
If I haven't said it before: I do not own Rookie Blue.
"McNally, no. I can't do it." Sam got up from the table and walked to the sink to rinse out his cereal bowl. Andy sat at the table her with feet up on the chair across from her, a map of the city spread out on top.
She'd shown up that morning to find Sam staring at the map, marking routes for their first 10 miler in a red pen. She walked in and snagged a warm muffin off a plate on the counter and sat down. Apparently he'd gotten tired of taking variations of the same path and was trying to find them a new one. She was resisting.
"Sam, the reason I run this neighborhood is because I know all the places to stop for water and for a restroom if I need it. I don't want to have to worry about having to find one in the middle of this run."
"I can't run this route anymore. I'm sick of seeing the same buildings and the same people. It has to change. There are restrooms everywhere. And can't you just carry a water bottle? Or get a water belt. We could switch off carrying it."
"It would be like carrying a dumbbell around while I run. I'd like to avoid that as long as possible."
Kate leaned against the counter and took a sip of her coffee as she held a folded newspaper in front of her. She had long since gotten used to the early morning throwdowns but every now and again, her eyes flicked between the two of them, their dark heads bent together as they studied the map. At first, their voices had been low in the early morning, almost conspiratory. The more Sam tried to convince Andy to change her mind, the more the volume of their voices had risen. Finally, Kate looked at the clock over the stove and realized they'd wasted over a quarter of an hour arguing over it.
"Listen," she said. "Why don't you just map out a 5 mile route and drive it before you start. You put down a water bottle behind a tree or next to some sort of marker at every mile or every couple miles. Then run the route twice. You'll visit each marker soon enough so the bottles won't freeze and you can just recycle them or refill them when you're done." They both turned to look at her, speechless. She shrugged. "I can know things." She smiled to herself as she took her coffee and left the room to get ready for work.
So they sat down again and, after a little back and forth, picked out a new route. Since they were driving to lay out the bottles, they could go anywhere to start and park the truck and just drive back when they were done. By the time Kate came out of the bedroom, they had their coats and water bottles and were ready to leave. The three of them bundled into the truck and after dropping Kate off, they got down to business.
As they ran, Andy wore her headphones which gave him some quiet time. The last couple of days had been…challenging. When he walked into the barn four days ago, he was torn. He knew that as much as Andy wanted everything to be the same, wanted to act like things were no different that day than they had been the day before, it just wasn't true.
Sam could act like there was nothing going on; he'd done it for months not too long ago. He might even be able to smash back down whatever feelings were sneaking around inside him, but though he tried, he couldn't forget that there was now one less thing standing between them, or that she had so easily rejected the idea of changing their relationship. But, he had decided to take his cue from Andy. If she could act like everything was the same, so could he.
And she was true to her word. If he hadn't been there, he would have sworn their conversation at the diner had never happened. At first he was mildly amused by it, impressed even. And then he started getting annoyed. The longer he watched her, the more irritating it was that she could seem so unaffected by it all, when inside, he knew he very clearly was not.
Unaffected was not the word Andy would have used. She'd had two weeks to perfect her performance, but seeing Sam sitting across from her, or riding next to her was more of a trial than usual. He was looking at her differently than he used to. Like he was waiting for some sort of reaction or breakdown. While she refused to give him the satisfaction, it still took her a solid half hour before she felt like she could even look at him without him reading every thought that was passing behind her eyes. And then after a few awkward pauses, she was great. Well, not great, but better. Everything was going according to plan for the most part. If she had to remind herself a few times that this is what she wanted, it was a small price to pay.
The next three days were a little easier. The streets were a little busier, they got more calls, which meant more work, which meant more distraction. It also meant that by the time Andy got off and trudged the couple of blocks over to the gym, she was tired. When she got done there, she was exhausted. After finally getting home, she fell into bed, asleep before her head hit the pillow. Which was why she'd taken the opportunity to sleep in a little later this morning. As a result, the sun was high in the sky by the time they hit the middle of the run, and while it wasn't warm out, it was warmer than it usually was when she ran, and Andy found herself shedding layers when they passed the truck.
Sam locked the truck back up and they fell into step again. His brain continued to turn current events over and over. Andy had been right about one thing. He and Kate were in a very good place. They were seeing each other most days, spending several nights a week either at his place or her place. They'd met each other's friends and had settled into a very comfortable zone. If they had been two different people, they might be talking about moving in together. Neither one of them was at that point yet, but he knew that it would come up sooner or later. They were basically living out of both apartments at this point. They both had clothing and belongings stowed in various corners of the other's residence and keys gave them the freedom to come and go as they chose. He knew that he would be stupid to risk it.
Andy pulled out ahead, and stopped next to a bench, pulling out the water bottle hidden behind a leg. She took a couple of sips and then passed the bottle to him with barely a glance. A group of people passed them, probably close to ten, all dressed for the weather, running at a steady pace. Andy waved to a couple of people, and she saw Cory at the back and walked over to meet him. He came to a stop with a quick look at the group ahead of him and said, "Hey, how's it going today?"
"Not too bad; we're doing our first ten." They made small talk for a few moments and then she smiled and then looked over at Sam, who was watching them with interest. "Actually, we should probably get going again."
He grinned and started backing away. "Yeah, I've got to get back. I'll see you tomorrow though, right?"
She nodded and smiled. "See you tomorrow." He turned and left, hurrying to meet the group and Sam frowned. He took a large swig of water and passed the bottle back, watching the guy run away from them. He watched the exchange and he felt a little flicker of something inside.
"Friend of yours?"
"Just someone from the gym." She bent down and tucked the bottle away again and they took off.
She ran a couple of strides ahead of him, effectively preventing him from asking any more questions. He took a long deep breath, and willed his mind to clear, something that had just been impossible for the last few days. But soon, he found himself in a place where the words in his head and the sounds of the park faded a little, and he heard his breath and their foot falls and not much else.
She continued to run ahead of him, and at first he didn't even realize he was doing it. His eyes lit on her swinging ponytail, following it down, and then sank lower to the curve of her hips as she ran in front of him. The quiet inside him deepened, and as his eyes continued down her legs, covered in running tights, ending at her strong, slender ankles, he wasn't thinking about his breathing or much of anything else at all. Two college guys were running the other direction, and both turned their heads back to check her out as they passed. A little shamed after realizing he'd been doing the same thing, Sam barked "beat it" at them, hooking a thumb over his shoulder and they ran past him with a dirty look.
After that, Sam kept even with her and and made a point to keep his eyes aimed straight ahead.
Afterwards, Andy let them into her apartment. They both bent down and untied their shoes, toeing them off next to the door. Andy dropped her headband and gloves on top of them and peeled off the light jacket she wore as her outer layer. She walked down the hall, and into her bedroom, closing the door before quickly pulling off her sweaty clothing and putting on a pair of sweatpants and a fresh T-shirt. Sam tossed his sweatshirt over the back of a chair, and Andy moved quickly past him, grabbing a couple of empty glasses off a plastic tote serving as a coffee table, pulling a large pizza box off the counter and stacking it on top of a couple others near the trash.
Sam found himself standing in McNally's living room. He'd had every intention of going home to shower and shave and possibly nap, but the offer of an early lunch had proven too tempting. Right now, she had an egg carton and containers of cut up vegetables open on the counter tops and was making omelets. He walked over and opened the fridge, looking inside.
"You know you have more leftovers in here than actual food, right?"
She smiled to herself. "I've had a lot of dinner dates lately." Judging soley by her tone, he couldn't tell if she was joking, but decided to leave it alone for the moment. He glanced around the kitchen. Clean for the most part, there were several dirty dishes sitting in the sink, a bottle of dish soap, and another of hand soap sat next to the knobs, and a chunky men's watch with a green canvas band rested on the counter next to the toaster. Clearly a man's watch. Sam glanced at it again, and then at Andy, an unpleasant thought beginning to take form in his head.
He walked around to the other end of the counter, and leaned against the wall, taking a quick mental picture of the room. His eyes scanned everything quickly, noting the few boxes still in the corner that hadn't yet been unpacked, the pictures leaning against the walls, waiting to be hung. DVDs and Blu-rays were stacked in four tall piles against the wall, waiting for a shelf.
"I thought you said you'd been here a few weeks."
She looked up from the stove. "I have."
"You said you unpacked."
She shrugged. "Not all the way. I've been busy."
"With what?" He turned to look at her, suspiciously. If anything, she should have more time now that she was single.
"Life?" She smiled. "I keep getting distracted. Besides, I got rid of a bunch of stuff; my bookshelves, tables, some other stuff. I just haven't gotten around to replacing everything yet." She slid an omelet onto a plate and held it out to him. "As soon as I moved everything in, I actually sold my old bedroom stuff and bought new. Sort of a present to myself." He reached out and took the plate from her, fingers sliding over hers and she turned away quickly to start the second one. "Forks are in the drawer next to the sink."
He walked down the hall, eating as he wandered around the apartment. Down at this end, some photos had made it to the wall. There were a few of her and her friends from the academy; one with just her and Traci some night he didn't remember at the Black Penny. Another showed Chris, Dov and Gail, holding up their ruined ties on the day they were cut loose. The last in the row was one of Andy as a small child, sitting on her father's lap as he looked down at her. Her face was turned into his shoulder as she slept. Two thin braids fell over her shoulders, and her small hands were curled in the folds of his shirt. Sam stared at that one a few seconds longer and then continued down the hall.
To his left was a bathroom, filled with white tile. The top of the vanity was typically cluttered with a myriad of bottles of confusing purpose or origin. There was a thick blue ceramic mug with a tube of toothpaste and two toothbrushes standing up at odd angles. Mismatched towels hung on the railing above the toilet and there was a small window filled with wavy glass, where the sun was streaming through, casting light on the dark blue mat spread over the floor.
On the opposite site of the hall was her bedroom; the door was standing open. He glanced down towards the kitchen, and then took a few steps in, curious. The room smelled like Andy, like the soap she used and a touch of the perfume she liked to wear and it was as bare as the living room. Clothing was tucked into drawers, although not neatly. The closet door stood open, and her uniforms were hung crisply in stark contrast to the rest of the stuff crammed in there. Except for some delicate-looking curtain thing across the top of the window, there was very little decoration in the room, very little extra anything. Under the window sat a basket half-full of dirty laundry and there was a innocuous pile of random odds and ends on the top of the dresser; receipts, a few coins and a couple of pens.
A heavy-looking mahogany-stained sleigh bed took up most of the room, with pale yellow sheets and a down comforter strewn every which way. Even the pillows were askew, bunched and wrinkled. He frowned, looking at the indents in both pillows, and then moved on. There was a short stack of books on the floor next to the bed, a small lamp next to that.
He heard a faint noise somewhere on the other end of the apartment and he turned and quickly left the room, following the music back. Andy was leaning over the counter, taking a bite and then setting her fork down to write in her log. She had a tall glass of chocolate milk in front of her and was filling out some sort of chart, making notes in a column on the right side of the page.
"I was thinking that we should probably do another couple of weeks at ten," she said over her shoulder. "I felt kind of unsteady for the last mile or so." She set her pen down and turned around with her plate and looked at him. "Find anything incriminating?"
He froze, his eyes sliding to meet hers. "I didn't mean to..."
She grinned. "Yeah, you did. I don't care." She walked past him into the living room and sat down in a chair, pulling her feet up under her. "Besides, it's only fair. I've certainly snooped around your place enough."
Sunday, Andy took a break from running and cardio and she worked with Cory on strengthening. He would gently move her limbs, adjusting her form as she moved from machines to free weights and back again. Afterwards, they went through the longer stretching routine, and by the time she left, she was tired, but relaxed; her muscles felt strong and supple. Her phone beeped at her and she checked it. Two missed calls from her dad.
He'd called her at least once a day since she told him about the break-up, and they'd been meeting for lunch a few times a week, and dinner a few more. No matter how many times she told him that she was okay, that she was happy, he kept checking up on her. While she appreciated the attention, she suspected it had more to do with her being back in the neighborhood and him being a little lonely since he'd stopped drinking. All of his old friends still sat at the bar every night, and while he was meeting people at AA, she knew it wasn't quite the same. She made a mental note to call him later to set up dinner.
When she got home and got showered, she sat down and thinking of Sam, unpacked the rest of her boxes. Since she was already on a roll, she took a garbage bag through all the rooms, tossing scraps of paper, a few empty water bottles, and some magazines she knew she'd never read. In the bathroom, she took her old toothbrush and threw it into the bag, leaving her new one in the cup where it was. She took the bag and the stack of pizza boxes and take-out containers and walked downstairs, dumping the whole mess into the trash.
The next week passed without any major problems. Work was steady with no shortage of calls coming in, reporting everything from shoplifting to a call asking for response to the scene of a double homicide. Andy was finding it easier to concentrate on the task at hand and to shut everything else out. She focused on work while she was at work. When she wasn't, she focused on her training. And the more she focused on her training, the less time and energy she had to think about other things. And it was working well. Except for those times when she would look up and catch Sam watching her.
It was less of an issue when they were busy on the road, but when they were at the station, and they had a little down time, she would get up to pour coffee, or make a phone call and there were times when she swore she could feel his eyes on her the entire time. When she turned back, he would all too slowly look back down at his work, or off to the side, shifting his attention to someone else in the room. At first, it was unnerving, and then it started becoming a little…bothersome. Finally, one time when she got a text message, she picked it up and glanced up and found him staring, unsmiling at the phone in her hand.
"Knock it off," she hissed. Startled, his eyes flew up to hers.
"What?"
"You're starting to freak me out."
"Is that the watch you usually wear?"
She looked down at her wrist, at the narrow black band and small silver case. Then she looked back at him with a confused expression on her face. "Almost every day." She got up with her phone and walked away, leaving the room.
Sam leaned back in his chair. In the first few days since their little pact, he hadn't been able to focus on much other than how the circumstances were affecting him personally. But facts were starting to stack up in front of him. That guy in the park, and then later in her apartment… The evidence was all circumstantial, he knew. Even the fact that she had disappeared without a word on lunch break a few times was not that big a deal. Unless he combined with what he had seen in her apartment. Add in the mysterious phone calls and texts she'd been getting over the last week or so, and it made him wonder.
He was very quickly coming to the realization that while she was no longer in a relationship with Callahan, it wasn't completely impossible that she might be seeing someone else. He hadn't thought Andy was the type to bounce from one person to the next so quickly but it was one explanation for why she had so quickly shut down the thought of anything happening between them.
At Andy's request, their run the following weekend was another ten miler. They ran the same route again, this time in reverse. He'd noticed her slowing a little bit throughout, but when he asked her about it, she shook her head, saying it was nothing and had pushed through. Her mood was questionable. She'd been short with him a few times, and he just chalked it up to the early morning. Truth be told, he wasn't feeling that great himself. He'd been averaging somewhere between four and five hours of sleep a night for the past few nights and he'd had a hard time getting moving that morning and even though they'd done this distance the previous week, he was finding himself tiring more quickly and he was a little discouraged.
They stopped off briefly at a convenience store to use the bathroom and as he reached the exit, he paused, watching through the window. Andy was talking comfortably with a guy he thought he recognized, but couldn't place. He was dressed normally; jeans, heavy coat, black watch cap over his head. As Sam watched, he looked down at her legs and then dragged his eyes back upward to her face. They talked a few seconds more, and then he looked over his shoulder at whoever was calling him and started backing away. He gave her a quick wave and then walked around his SUV, climbing into the driver's seat. Sam came out of the store and watched as the guy pulled out of the parking lot.
"Who was that?"
Andy turned to look at him, startled. "Nobody. Are you ready to go?"
They were getting into the truck, waiting a few minutes while it warmed up before he asked again. "So who was that guy?" Really, he wasn't planning on it. His first inclination was to just let the situation ride and wait for her to bring it up. But he knew would be waiting forever before she felt the need to mention it and so he asked, expecting some sort of explanation, some denial.
"What guy?"
He gave her a look. "That guy checking you out when we stopped before."
She rolled her eyes. "Nobody you know. And he wasn't checking me out."
"How do you know him?"
"I know people outside of work," she said defensively. "It's the same guy I talked to on our run last week. It's no big deal."
"Well, how long have you known him?"
"Maybe a couple weeks? Why?"
Sam paused, pulling the truck onto the road while looking over his shoulder.
"I guess I just thought you looked pretty friendly."
"That tends to happen when you're friends," she quipped. They drove on and Andy looked at him. He was visibly agitated. "God, what's wrong with you?"
"You mean other than the fact that you're giving me the run around?" She smirked and he felt it burst out of him. "Are you seeing this guy?"
She looked at him with an eyebrow raised, amused. She suddenly realized she hadn't told him that she'd been seeing a trainer. In all the confusion over who thinks what and what to do about their friendship, it had been put on the back burner for the time being. "You've got to be kidding me. That's why you're so bent out of shape?"
"It just seems a little soon," he said. She laughed at him. "It's not a joke."
"Are you sure? It seems pretty funny to me."
"Are you?" He raised his voice slightly, as he pulled the truck up to the curb outside of Kate's coffee shop. He threw it into park and turned to look at her, his elbow braced on top of the steering wheel.
"What exactly is your problem? That I might be seeing someone so soon, or that I might be seeing anyone at all?" she asked, intrigued.
"I'm just worried about you."
"You are so full of it. It has been over three weeks since Luke and I broke up, you know. It might not be thatlong ago but it's not like it was yesterday." She reached over and turned on the radio. As she leaned back in her seat, he reached forward and hit the button, turning it off.
"It's a simple question, McNally."
"Do you even hear yourself? You sound completely ridiculous right now." She flipped the visor down, and while looking in the mirror, pulled her headband off and rebanded her ponytail. "And even if I am dating someone new, I don't really see how it would be any of your business," she retorted. She was trying not to enjoy this; he was starting to look really mad, but something inside her refused to give in.
"So you are?" He looked at her, accusingly.
"If I were, don't you think you'd be able to tell?"
"Oh, I think I've figured it out."
Andy slapped the visor back up, turned toward him, and pulled a knee up under her, getting comfortable; eyes narrowed with a slight smile playing across her face. He recognized that look. It was the calm before the storm. "Enlighten me. Where's your proof, officer?"
He shot her a dirty look. "Well, first of all, you've got containers from every restaurant in the neighborhood in your apartment. I doubt you're eating all that food by yourself, especially since you're training."
She shrugged. "Maybe I just like to eat. I do burn a lot of calories."
"You have two toothbrushes. Why would you have two toothbrushes unless someone was staying over?"
"Maybe I bought a new one and forgot to throw the old one out. I did throw it out a few days ago, by the way."
Sam felt a little of the wind go out of his sails.
"Your bed has been slept in, on both sides."
She looked at him a little disappointed. "That's thin and you know it." He raised his eyebrows and held his hands out, waiting for an answer. "Maybe I haven't been sleeping well. Maybe I toss and turn a lot."
"You've been taking calls in secret; leaving the room to answer the phone."
Andy looked at him, the smile dropping from her face.
"Is that why you've been watching me like I'm some sort of criminal?" she asked suddenly humorless.
"Just answer the question."
"My dad has been calling me night and day. We've also been going out to eat a lot. That's where the take-out containers come in, in case you're wondering." Sam just sat there. "Anything else, Detective?" she asked snidely.
He clenched and unclenched his jaw. "The watch in the kitchen is his too, I'm guessing?"
She nodded. "He helps me do the dishes. I think it makes him feel like he's taking care of me. Are you finished?"
He hesitated, feeling deflated. "The rest is pretty weak," he admitted, his volume dropping a little.
"Weaker than a phantom toothbrush?" she asked, mockingly. That set him off again. This time, Andy yelled back.
Kate looked out the glass door again. Sam and Andy had been parked at the curb in his truck for the better part of ten minutes. She poured two cups of coffee, covered, and slid paper rings around them. She stuck them in a carrier and walked to the door, leaning against the wall, watching them. There was obviously some sort of heated discussion going on inside. Sam's eyebrows were raised so high, they almost met his hairline, and she could hear the sounds of yelling from the doorway, although she couldn't distinguish any words. She couldn't see Andy's face, because she was turned toward Sam in her seat, her shoulder belt thrown behind her back.
She'd been trying to deny it, but ever since she'd heard that Luke was no longer in the picture, she'd felt a little…uneasy. When she and Sam had first started seeing each other, his friendship with Andy had been strained, and so she hadn't really been too concerned. But now…She was mad at herself for even thinking about it. She refused to be the stereotypical jealous girlfriend. Maybe there was another way to look at it; something more proactive.
After another minute or so, Sam got out of the truck and slammed the door, stalking up to where Kate waited. He took the coffees from her and kissed her quickly. He shook his head, exasperated.
"Sometimes she just irritates the shit out of me." He looked over his shoulder, shaking his head. "And she's doing it on purpose."
Kate smiled tightly. "If you two weren't bickering like a couple of old ladies at least once a week, I might think something was wrong. Am I going to see you tonight?" At his nod, she kissed him again, glanced one more time at Andy sitting inside the truck, and then walked inside, letting the door swing shut behind her.
As Sam walked back to the truck, he contemplated pouring McNally's coffee out into the street while she watched, but got in and handed it to her anyway.
"This better not be some sort of peace offering," she warned. "You're not my favorite person right now."
"Right back at you." He swung the car out onto the road and he drove towards her apartment.
"So, you're seriously not going to tell me?" he asked, as he put the truck into park outside her apartment.
"Tell you what?"
"About this guy? Are you seeing him?"
"His name is Cory, by the way. And haven't we been through this?"
"You still haven't answered the question."
She looked at him, and then away, trying to suppress the smile that was forcing its way through. "I guess you could say we're seeing each other."
"Howelse would you say it?"
She pursed her lips, trying not to grin. "I guessI would say that I'm paying to see him."
"Excuse me?"
"He's my trainer."
"Are you kidding me?"
She shrugged, trying to sound innocent. "I signed up for a trainer at the gym. He was looking at my knee because it's been bothering me a little, not because he's interested in me. I think his wife would probably have a problem with that."
He stared at her wordlessly and then turned back and started up the engine.
"Get out of my truck," he said quietly. She burst into laughter. "We've been screaming at each other for almost twenty minutes. This isn't funny."
"No, it's hilarious. The look on your face is priceless." He pointed to the door and she unbuckled her seat belt, grabbing her coffee from the cup holder. "Come on; you know you like to fight with me."
"Get out." She grinned and hopped out, still laughing to herself as he pulled out onto the road.
Swarek wasn't quite sure how that happened. He'd meant to just get some answers. He'd interrogated murderers and kidnappers, and somehow he'd let her egg him on until he had completely lost whatever semblance of restraint he possessed. If she had just answered the questions like an adult instead of purposely evading him at every turn, his heart wouldn't still be threatening to leap from his chest. He pulled the truck into the alley, and then into his driveway. He stalked up the walk, letting himself into the house and pushing the door closed behind him. After kicking his shoes off, he went to the fridge, pulling out stuff for a sandwich. He slapped together meat, cheese and bread and started eating it as he walked from the kitchen through the living room and into the bedroom.
He stripped, taking large bites, so that by the time his clothes were in a pile on the floor and his towel was slung over his shoulder, the food was gone and he was ready for a long hot shower. Sam walked through the hall into the bathroom, toes curling against the fibers in the bathmat as he leaned in and turned on the water. He looked at himself in the mirror as he waited for the water to come to temp and shook his head.
He was embarrassed; there was no other way to say it. He'd completely lost his cool. He'd been telling the truth; he had been worried about her. At first. By the end, Sam was worried about himself. He didn't like the feeling that came over him when he thought she might be with someone else. It was sort of a sick feeling, like his stomach was turning. And he didn't like the desperate relief that was nowwashing over him. But he couldn't deny the adrenaline rush. She was right; he did like fighting with her.