I didn't realize how hard it would be to get back into the swing of things after that long interlude. Hopefully this still works out!

If Kanan had to chose the one thing that he hated the most about the medbay, it would have to be the waiting. The silence also bothered him when he was alone, but that could be easily fixed by asking someone else to join him. As long as the Ghost was in good order and they weren't in a firefight, someone was usually available to start up a conversation. If no one was around, he could leave the med bay and find something to do or seek the others out.

However, no matter what he did or who he talked to, he couldn't ignore the nagging, uncomfortable feeling that followed him as long as any of his crew mates lay injured or unconscious while he was free to do as he pleased. Even when he did leave the med bay to go do something, he would soon find himself wandering back to sit with them. He was unable to leave them alone for long. It had to do with guilt, even if he knew that whatever happened wasn't his fault. No amount of reassuring from the crew would ever be able to rid him of those feelings. To atone for his supposed guilt, he would wait with bated breath until recovery was assured. That was all he could do.

He tried to convince himself that this was why he had remained at Ezra's side ever since they had made their getaway from the base, long after he had tended to his own wounds. He refused to take his eyes off of the unmoving boy because he was worried about his condition. He was so tense because of the stress and guilt. He would not let the other in to see him and kept them away from the med bay because he wasn't ready to take Hera's berating for both not contacting her and taking responsibility for something out of his control.

While most of his reasoning was true, especially about Hera, he knew that there was another purpose for his actions. The others still didn't know much about what had happened other than that it had been a set-up and that Kanan and Ezra had been attacked. He had yet to tell them anything about what Ezra had done. He still wasn't sure about what had transpired himself, but he did know this: Ezra had been strong, dangerous, and completely under the Inquisitor's control. He didn't know what the Inquisitor had done or how he had done it, and he also didn't know how long it would last. Would Ezra wake up as his normal self, or would he try to obey the last order the Inquisitor had given him?

Since he didn't know the answer to his own questions, he had decided to do the only thing he could: place himself between Ezra and the rest of the crew. If his padawan was still under the Inquisitor's control, he wouldn't let any harm come to the others. He alone had been the original target. Hopefully, if it came to it, Ezra would simply attack him and let the others be.

He knew that Ezra would most likely have no problem hurting him in his controlled state, but would he be able to fight Ezra if he had to? Was he strong enough to even attempt to face him? From what he had seen, he could tell that Ezra's connection to the Force was amazingly strong. It was very likely that he wouldn't stand a chance. How long would he be able to hold out? Did that even matter if he couldn't force himself to fight against his padawan? No, it didn't. He knew it would be nearly impossible for him to raise a weapon against Ezra, even in was a flaw in his plan, as with every plan he had ever made. After all, he wasn't perfect. How could he predict every single little thing that could possibly happen during an op? However, this flaw had less to do with surprising outside variables and more to do with himself. He had no idea if he would be able to face off against Ezra. Skills aside, because he knew he was no match for the power that Ezra had demonstrated earlier, could he really make himself fight a child that he had lived with, trained with, and had come to consider as family?

He didn't know, and he hoped that he would never have to find out. He kept telling himself that Ezra would be fine when he woke up and he shouldn't even have to consider such things. So he sat in silence, condemning himself to his internal struggle as he waited for his unconscious padawan to wake up.

He probably would have stayed like that for hours if the door hadn't suddenly hissed open behind him. He was surprised that anyone had come; he had hoped everyone would be too busy evading Imperials to check on them. He was even more surprised and a bit fearful when he turned to behold the raging form of Hera Syndulla. Maybe he wouldn't have to worry about facing Ezra after all. Hera was going to kill him right here and now.

The two of them stared at each other for a long moment, allowing the tension in the air to build to the breaking point before Kanan spoke up. Maybe if he tried to defend himself first and explain his actions she would let him live. "Hera-"

"Where were you?!" Hera exploded, making Kanan nervously glance at his padawan. Luckily, the kid was still too far gone to hear them. "The last thing I hear from you is that you're heading toward the hangar, and then nothing! Not even a distress signal! I had to wait until Zeb and Sabine went to find you, and when they report back they say they found the hangar mostly destroyed. What am I supposed to think, especially when they start searching through the rubble and can't find you? What happened?!"

Finishing her rant, she leaned against the door frame and crossed her arms, clearly awaiting his explanation. She knew she was just covering it with her anger, but she had been more scared than she wanted to admit when Sabine had first reported the wreckage of the hangar where Kanan and Ezra had gone. She had even felt her heart stop for a moment when Sabine had eventually stated that she and Zeb couldn't find any traces of their crew mates. Now that they had been found alive and safely returned, she felt that she had every right to yell at Kanan for not contacting her. How could he leave her hanging like that? She needed answers, and she needed them now.

Kanan held up his hands in a placating gesture and tried to remain calm as he explained. "I'm sorry, it was my fault. I could sense that something was wrong, and I think Ezra could feel it, too, but I ignored it and kept going. We walked straight into a trap."

"A trap?" Hera questioned, surprised. "What do you mean?"

"It was a setup from the start," Kanan continued. "The info about the Tarkin and the Jedi artifacts was a ruse to lure out hiding Jedi. When we got there we were confronted by a man who called himself the Inquisitor."

"What happened?"

Kanan winced and subconsciously rubbed his injured leg. "I tried to fight him, but he was clearly out of my league. He toyed with me the entire time. Then he did something to Ezra."

They both looked over at the unconscious boy. Kanan was still worried about what would happen when the kid woke up, but right now he looked almost peaceful. It was hard to compare the kid before him to the one who had caused so much devastation to the Imperial base.

"I don't know what he did or how he did it, but he somehow controlled Ezra and made him attack me. I tried to get through to him, but he just ignored me and followed the Inquisitor's orders until..."

"Until what?" Hera prodded gently, eyes wide with concern.

Kanan shook his head and glanced back at his padawan before continuing. "I'm not sure. Something went wrong, and Ezra kind of... exploded? No, that's not right. It was more like the Force exploded out of him. That's why the hangar was destroyed when Zeb and Sabine came looking for us."

He couldn't get the image of Ezra's blank, emotionless expression out of his head, nor could he forget the anguished, pained screams that had accompanied the sudden surge in the Force. It all seemed so unreal. He had never encountered anything like this before, and he didn't know what to do. Had it just been a one time thing, or were the Inquisitor's words actually true? Was Ezra really going to betray them?

Hera was busy trying to make plans around the new information she had received. "I have never heard of the Inquisitor, but if we ever come across him again we need to keep him and Ezra separated and-"

"I don't think that will do much good," Kanan said quietly.

Stopping mid-sentence, Hera turned to him and stared at him in shock. "Why not?"

"When I first tried to get through to Ezra, the Inquisitor said something about Ezra only doing what he was trained to do. What if he's been lying to us this whole time? What if he really is an Imperial spy or weapon that they sent to destroy us?"

Hera couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Kanan Jarrus," she stated as calmly as she possibly could, feeling her temper rising once more. "You really think that the kid who has been fighting alongside us for so long against the Empire, the boy who is your padawan, would be a spy? All based on the word of some crazy Imperial who was trying to kill you? How could you have such little faith in Ezra?!"

"It's not about faith," Kanan shot back. "It's about facts! Ezra attacked me-"

"And probably did it against his will! You want facts? I'll give you one. That boy would not hurt any one of us if he could possibly help it."

They glared at each other in silence, neither one ready to back down or admit defeat. Even though he was being stubborn, Kanan knew that Hera was right. How could he have let himself be convinced by the Inquisitor that Ezra would try to harm them on his own?

He was just about to cave in and concede victory to Hera when a quiet groan focused both of their attention on Ezra. He had somehow managed to sit himself up without either of them noticing and was clutching his head while wincing in pain. Kanan still didn't know what exactly had happened to him, but whatever had gone on in his head had seemed to leave him with a wicked headache. He still needed to ask Ezra about any other injuries he may have missed during his initial inspection, but for the moment he was just happy to see the kid was awake. Not only that, but the eyes that turned to look at him were once again had the bright and cheerful shine that they usually held, albeit a bit guarded. That last observation suddenly made him feel nervous. How much of their conversation had Ezra heard?

Hera was immediately at his side checking to see how he was feeling. She looked him over for physical injuries again, making sure to keep her gaze focused on him and away from Kanan. Kanan realized that he had never told her that he agreed with her side of the argument, leaving her to assume that he still saw Ezra as a threat. How could he explain that to her now that Ezra was listening?

He figured the best way to do it was to treat Ezra as normally as he could. He joined Hera at Ezra's side, gently placing a hand on his shoulder as she continued her examination. "How're you doing, kid?"

Ezra shrugged and tensed up under the slight touch, eyes focused on the wall next to him. "Okay, I guess."

Hera finished her examination and gave him a reassuring smile. "You seem to be in pretty good shape. You do have quite a few cuts and bruises, but those should heal up quickly. Is there anything else bothering you?"

"No, it's fine," Ezra whispered, even as he winced again and rubbed his head.

Stubborn, Kanan thought fondly. Ezra had always insisted he was fine whenever he was sick or injured, leaving it to the rest of the crew to figure out what was wrong and drag him to the med bay to fix it. It was refreshing to see him do something so normal after what had happened. However, none of this was normal, so they couldn't treat this injury like they did the others. Usually they would give him some meds for the head pain and leave him to sleep it off, but he figured this time he would make a few changes to the routine. It could be just a headache, but it could be something more. Kanan wanted to make sure that his padawan was truly alright. "Why don't you get some rest," he suggested gently. "I'll stay here with you, just in case you need anything."

Hera glanced at him in surprise, but Ezra continued to keep his gaze trained on the wall. Kanan wasn't quite sure if Ezra was even listening, but he decided to take his silence as acceptance. He turned his attention to Hera and explained the rest of his plan. "You can tell the others that Ezra's okay, but he needs to rest. That way they'll keep their distance for a little while to let him recover and-"

"You don't trust me."

That quiet whisper was enough to instantly derail Kanan's train of thought and direct his attention back to his padawan. "What are you talking about? I trust you, Ezra. I just want to help."

Ezra turned his gaze from the wall to meet Kanan's eyes. "You don't trust me," he repeated dully. He turned away again, staring down at his own hands as they clenched the white sheets beneath him. "I understand. I wouldn't trust me, either."

"Ezra..." Hera started, but the boy shook his head to silence her.

"You don't need to pretend, and you don't need to act like nothing happened. I know what I did," he stated almost sadly. "I remember everything."

Kanan and Hera shared a concerned glance with one another. Somehow, they had been prepared for an Ezra who only recalled bits and pieces or nothing at all. How were they supposed to react when he said he remembered attacking his own master?

"Just... try to get some rest," Kanan suggested again, with much less confidence than before. He nodded to Hera, who reached out and squeezed Ezra's hand reassuringly before reluctantly leaving to talk to Zeb and Sabine. She obviously wanted to stay, but Kanan could tell she understood that most of the problem lay between Ezra and himself. That was something that he would have to rectify.

The door hissed shut behind her, leaving the two of them to sit in a strained silence. Kanan desperately searched for the right words to say in this situation, but he was failing miserably. It was almost a relief to see Ezra slowly relaxing again until he fell asleep once more. When he woke up, Kanan would try to talk to him again. This time, he promised himself, things would go better.

They don't trust me.

It would have been obvious even if he hadn't woken up in the middle of Kanan and Hera's shouting match. They had both been so tense, treading carefully around him as if they expected him to snap at any moment. Kanan had seemed even more nervous than Hera, which was understandable. After all, Hera hadn't been the one who was almost strangled to death.

They were right to be distrustful. He still wasn't sure of what had happened, but it had been horrifyingly easy to give in to the Inquisitor's will. It had happened so fast, and it had felt so right. He would never admit to any of the others, but he had felt more comfortable obeying the Inquisitor than he ever had fighting alongside the Spectors. It had felt like that was what he was made to do. How could he trust himself not to hurt any of them if he had feelings like that?

Even while unconscious, he still grappled with his feelings. What should I do?

You could leave them.

What? The thought suddenly came to him, startling him momentarily out of his emotional turmoil. Leave them? Why would I do that? I can't just abandon them!

Why not? It seemed so odd to be arguing with himself like this, yet this new, intrusive voice seemed calm, collected, and in control; everything her currently wasn't. How could he ignore it if it sounded so logical? You can't promise yourself that you won't hurt them. Now that the Inquisitor's found you, he'll never let you go. If you leave now and turn yourself in, you would save your friends from a lot of pain and suffering. Why make them deal with your problems?

It did make sense. He didn't want the others to get hurt because of him. If the Inquisitor was indeed trying to hunt him down, it would be simple to slip away on his own and find him first. There was no need for the crew to be involved with his troubles. It was such a quick, easy solution. All he had to do was leave.

The fact that it was so easy was what made him pause. It was too perfect to be a proper solution, at least in his experience. There had to be a catch. He considered it for a few moments before he found a few flaws in the plan. But the Inquisitor already knows about Kanan. He won't just let him get away. And besides, what will the Inquisitor do to me when I go to him?

You don't need to worry about that right now. The other voice was so soothing to listen to, making it quite hard to go against what it was saying. Can't you see how simple this is? Just go to the Inquisitor. Everything will be fine.

I... Would it be fine? It was quite simple. If he just went to the Inquisitor, all these worries would go away. Maybe he should leave. It would be for the best. He would just have to sneak past Kanan...

The memory of Kanan being lifted helplessly in the air as he pleaded for Ezra to stop suddenly flooded to the forefront of his mind, providing him with a moment of clarity. What was he thinking? He couldn't go back to the Inquisitor! He would use him to cause more pain to others. He needed to stay here with Kanan, Hera, Sabine, and Zeb. They were his friends, and he couldn't abandon them to walk straight into the arms of that evil monster! He wasn't going anywhere.

He held firmly to his decision, only feeling his resolve weaken slightly at the fading sound of the mysterious second voice. You're going to regret it...

I'm attempting to write longer chapters, so please bear with me!

p.s. To Papersculpting, who asked a while ago. Here's me trying to incorporate elements of what I had before. I hope it's acceptable! :P