Disclaimer: Not only do I not own anything related to CSI, I also own nothing about Jeopardy!
Chapter 10
Jim Brass was correct about one thing. All five shows went faster than Grissom could have expected. It took a few questions to get rid of the butterflies and get into a rhythm. The first taping he pulled $18,950. Second taping a little more. Then on the taping for Day 3, Grissom took over.
"The only member of the Warren Commission who became president of the United States. … Grissom."
"Who is Gerald Ford?"
"In 'Caesar and Cleopatra,' Cleopatra tells the aging Caesar to rub rum on his head to make this happen. ... Grissom."
"What is make his hair grow?"
"Though he never won a Nobel Prize, 'The Life of ...' this Frenchman won a 1937 Best Picture Award. ... Grissom."
"Who is Emile Zola?"
He won both daily doubles (including one that was a true daily double). And the audience loved that he won big. They especially hooted when Grissom bet $8,000 at Final Jeopardy even though his score secured a win.
And it was on the category "Before Broadway," not his strong suit. But, hey, he's from Vegas.
"Before starring on Broadway, I spent eight years as Dr. 'Jackpot' Jackson on this medical series, a spin-off of MASH."
Grissom took a gamble — Trapper John, M.D. And he won. $48,000 in total, to be exact.
But the scores weren't the only things the audience loved. The "get-to-know-you" segment became a fast hit. At first, Beck got the mild stuff out there.
Day 1: "So Grissom, by the way, you wanted to be called by your last name, right?"
"Yes."
"Any reason? Maybe you idolized Gus Grissom or did you play a lot of sports in school so you are used to being called by your last name."
"No. I just like Grissom."
"Man of few words, ehh?"
"Yes."
Beck got a little more exotic on Day 2: "Our returning champion is Gil Grissom. It says here one of your prerequisites for working at your lab is offering a blood sample. I, uh... that's quite strange, don't you think."
"No."
"Why do you need your co-worker's blood?"
"Oh, so many reasons."
On Day 3, the audience met the bugman: "Our returning champion is Gil Grissom, who enjoys, am I reading this right, racing cockroaches? Are those like the one's you try to kill at 2 in the morning."
"Why would you just kill bugs at 2 in the morning?" Grissom said, sadly, then continued. "No, these are actually giant roaches, about the size of a Snickers bar. I have their names painted on the top of them to tell them apart."
There was the gross factor, from the audience and Trebek.
"So, is part of coaching taking them out and petting them?"
"No," Grissom said with disdain. "You don't pet roaches."
"Right."
"I pet my tarantula, but not my roaches."
Before Day 4, there was a note from Trebek to Beck. "Limit the bug stuff," it read.
Day 5 was slotted as a Friday show, which meant it might be smart to give the audience something to remember, so they return on Monday. Time for the crock-pot.
"Our returning champion is Gil Grissom. You know, I'm almost scared to look at the card, ... Let's see. OK, it says here you once peeled the face off a bodiless head. You know I don't know if I want to know ..."
But before he could be dismissed, Grissom chimed in, "Oh, yeah! That was great. The secret is to use laundry detergent..."
"Oh no..."
Grissom is unfazed. "The laundry detergent works amazingly. Once the head soaks in a crock pot with the stuff the face peels off like a Halloween mask."
It's not easy to make Alex Trebek speechless, which is why there was another note given to Beck after Day 5. "Next time I'm just going to ask Grissom what he had for breakfast."
With five shows taped, Grissom was asked to return in six days for another taping. Jim found his friend backstage and congratulated him. "Hey, we have a couple hours before we need to get to the airport. How about a drink? You're treat."
"You have a drink, I'll get a soda. God knows what happens if I have liquor with you again. I don't want to end up on MTV's Road Rules."
"Gil, I had no idea you were so hip," Jim teased.
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TBC
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A/N: Some of the Jeopardy! questions for this story are attributed to "The Jeopardy! Book" by Alex Trebek and Peter Barsocchini (Harper Perennial, 1990). Some I made up. The actor who portrayed Jackpot Jackson is Brian Mitchell, who won a Tony Award as Best Actor in a Musical in 2000 for "Kiss Me, Kate." He also was Tony-nominated as Best Actor in a Musical twice (1998 for portraying Colehouse Walker in "Ragtime" and in 2003 for playing Don Quixote in "Man of La Mancha") and once as Best Actor in a Play (2001 for August Wilson's "King Hedley II").