Disclaimer: All rights belong to Fox and David Shore.
Author's Note: This chapter has been modified since its original publication. Special thanks to my beta TwiSagaAddict.
***
"Seriously?
Jake leaned over to his mom and asked, "Are you really pregnant?"
"Yes, three weeks. Will you be okay with it, hon?" Lisa gently asked her son.
"Yeah. Just a little shocked but I'm cool."
Jake shook his head and added, "I didn't think that you two still did it."
"We do it more often than you think and in places you've never even thought of." House replied wagging his eyebrows.
"House!" Lisa yelled at Greg.
"Dad, that's way too much information. That mental picture alone is going to cause me years of therapy."
House smirked at his son's response.
Cuddy caught herself yawning as she got up from the coach. "Boys, I'm heading off to bed."
She gave Jake a peck on his forehead and kissed Greg on the lips.
"Goodnight and don't stay up too late."
"So, this girl you went out with—she knows that you're leaving for med school in a few weeks?"
"It might have come up. Why?"
"You know, girls will be lining up to score themselves a doctor and you're definitely a big get. Just be smart about it, okay?"
"Oh god, we're not having the birds and bees discussion, right?"
"No, we're not. I can give you condoms to protect you from sex diseases and unplanned fatherhood, but there's nothing I can prescribe for a broken heart. Just choose well."
"Dad, mind if I ask a personal question?"
House nodded, signaling him to go on.
"I know I wasn't exactly planned. But, were you and Mom dating or was it just a one-night stand?"
"More like a series of one-night stands." House smirked, amused by his own response.
"How will I know if I met THE ONE?"
"You just do. Nothing will matter except her."
"Did you feel that way about mom? Was she THE ONE?"
"She is still THE ONE!"
"What's your plan for the summer?"
"I was thinking about applying for a temp job at the university. I saw an ad by the staff lounge; the IT department is hiring. It'll be easy buck for easy work."
"How about working for your old man?"
"Seriously?"
"Why not? I have a new department to build, people to hire, and paperwork to fill-up. Might learn a few doctoring stuff along the way."
"That will be awesome!"
"Good!"
***
The alarm went off at 6:30 AM and Cuddy quickly turned it off so as not to wake House. She looked over the right side of the bed to see a very naked House sprawled next to her. He appeared so relaxed with his cute bed head and his little snore. She felt the urge to jump him, but thought better of it. Instead, she kissed him on the forehead and quietly slipped out of bed. She went to the kitchen and turned-on the coffee pot, just as she has done so many times before. As she walked back to the bedroom, the smell of coffee made her stomach churn. All of a sudden she felt nauseous.
"Fuck!" Was the only word she could utter as she headed straight to worship the porcelain gods.
The smell of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of Lisa puking her guts out was enough to wake House up.
He reached for his Vicodin, put on his boxers, and limped towards the bathroom.
"Are you okay?"
Lisa nodded and asked House "Can you turn-off the coffee pot please? The smell is making me nauseous."
Greg groaned at the realization that he probably will not be able to have his morning coffee for the next few months or until her morning sickness stopped.
By the time House got back, Cuddy was already in the shower. He put on the same clothes he wore from the previous night and made a mental note to pack more clothes for next time. House limped back to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth.
Cuddy opened the shower curtain and spotted House by the sink.
"I'm sorry I woke you up this early."
He shrugged his shoulder and replied, "I have to go home and change anyway. Feeling any better?"
"Yes, much better. I wonder how long this morning sickness will last. I never had it when I was pregnant with Jake."
"Speaking of spawn number one, I offered him a job. You know…help me out while I set up the department."
Cuddy was a bit surprised by the news, but she knew that they worked well together. Jake can learn a lot from his Dad—both good and bad. She just hoped, Jake picks-up Greg's good traits and ignores the bad ones.
"That's great! I'll have HR draw up the paperwork."
***
House strolled in the hospital lobby at half past eleven and was greeted by a scowl from Brenda, the head nurse.
"You were scheduled to be on clinic duty at nine."
"That's a bit idiotic considering I don't get here until ten."
"It's almost noon, Dr. House."
"Oh, its lunchtime. Thanks for the reminder."
House walked past the exasperated Brenda and headed towards the elevator. He dropped his backpack on the floor and turned on his computer. He glanced over to his desk and noticed three piles that required his attention: 1) Resumes of perspective fellows. 2) Memos and correspondence letters. 3) Stacks of charts from his previous patients. He decided to ignore the pile and concentrate on reading his e-mails. There were ten e-mails from Cuddy sent to all department heads about various hospital policies, six request for consults, and fifty-two SPAM mails. He disregarded all except the SPAM mails that had the word sex on the subject line. He clicked on a link to a website with horny housewives ready to bear all. By the time Cuddy walked in to deliver him a patient's file, he immediately minimized the window. Unfortunately, the link spawned about five other windows to various sex sites. One of which had a woman making loud orgasm sounds.
"House?"
"Cuddy?"
"Are you watching porn at work?"
"I was bored; I clicked on an e-mail that may have accidentally gone to a porn site." He felt like a teenager who just got caught wanking by his mother. Oh god, this is embarrassing.
"House, do you think this is appropriate behavior for a department head? I don't want to even think if our son sees you doing this?"
"He's a horny teenager. He probably has these sites bookmarked."
"I hope not, but if he does. I don't need you to reinforce these types of behaviors."
"Cuddy, I'm a pill-popping misanthropic jerk. I don't think our son will be using me as a role model on traditional values. If he does, he's an idiot."
"I didn't come here to fight. I just want you to go over the patient's file and let me know what you think."
Cuddy leaned over to House and asked "Jake is down in HR going through orientation. He's due for a break in a few minutes; would you like to join us for lunch in the cafeteria?"
"Sorry no can do, fraternizing with employees is inappropriate behavior for a department head." House replied sarcastically.
Cuddy rolled her eyes and came back with "Keep it up and you're definitely not getting a head."