Episode 10

A Confused Mind and An Uneasy Throat

Gretznuk hated the cell. He didn't need the cylinder's help as his thoughts were enough to be infuriated by. His initial interest and intrigue in everything lost its novelty. Why this, why that, why who, why how? Why why why?

In his search for answers in his confined world, he found himself sinking into depression. "Why am I here? Who am I? Netzerbek said I spoke fancy. They way they looked at me. Am I that weird? Sure the blue alien may like me, but am I weird? Why am I worried about being weird? Is it because I'm weird? Why am I weird? What do I mean by weird? What is weird? Who defines it? Weird... Hmmm... An abnormality. Abnormal. The opposite of normal, the usual, the occasional, and the predictable.

"But why would they think I am weird? Because I'm not exactly like them? Why is such negativity attached with being different. Perhaps misunderstood. But that seems too generic. Generic... what is- stay focused. Perhaps the dislike is that I did not meet their expectations, according to the ork who declared himself superior to me."

Gretznuk stumbled and collapsed against the wall. "I feel the need for some sort of verification!" he thought as he pulled himself up. "But why do I feel this need I can only guess."

He growled beat the wall with his fists.

"But with every guess and new revelation comes more questions that I want to answer! But why do I want to answer? Why?! Do I seek answers? Reasons? Motivations? Why would I prefer one over the rest? Does it blind me? Why would other's knowledge be more valid that what I can figure?"

An ounce of pride grew in his chest.

"But why would I feel superior by making this statement? I'm not becoming superior, nor am I making myself equal by the assumption. Or am I?"

Gretznuk turned from the wall and looked at his hands.

"Do I truly know anything? Are answers real? If so, why are they real? Do they exist or are they... perhaps... a construct of my imagination? And if so, why have I imagined such? Do my questions matter? What is it to matter? Why would mattering matter at all?"

He felt something - a thought dangling on with fine strings to these other thoughts.

"Goals. All thoughts. Yes. They serve for goals. But what are my goals? But why do goals matter?"

Gretznuk stumbled back into the corner and slumped on the floor. "Thoughts. The other orks had anger. From a perspective, they were cursed with an unexplained anger. I, rather, am cursed with an anger coming from the unexplained."

"I think, therefore I am," said a voice.

Something about half the weight of the cylinder hit Gretznuk over the head. Little things then tapped around the sides, followed by a burning sting at the back of his head.

"Said a great philosopher the Terran's have long abandoned in favor for more primitive philosophies," the voice sqeaked.

"I've lost it... My sense of everything..." A sense of a loss of understanding overwhelmed him. " It's just gone..." Gretznuk sighed. "It's just madness."

"Is it madness, or is it simply the essence of your being?"

"What a nice voice," said Gretznuk. "Although you are giving me quite the ache at the back of the head. I suppose this is the opposite of a migraine. At least the pain feels better back there than at the front."

"Focus."

"On what? The essence of my being? It's a statement, sure, but the essence part and then the being... You seem like a pretty comforting voice, and I would like to ask myself about the concept of my desire in relation to what worth you have for me, but for the sake of brevity and the aversion from this... anxiety, I would like to ask, what do you mean? I expect more than simply putting words into my head from a voice that suggests a desire to be valued."

"As these walls are of deeper shades, you are of deeper thought."

"A very obvious observation, and quite flattering. But flattery will get you nowhere in my head!"

"But how is it flattering? You could ask yourself. After all, is not flattery a two person ordeal as with any other comment? Does it not require the other person to agree in particular in order to be truly flattery?"

"Get to your point. I'm intellectually as tense as it is."

"You think, therefore you are."

"I think, therefore I am? But who? But why?"

"Get to your point." The voice squeaked.

"I don't understand."

"The walls are of deeper shades, but why ask why they are of deeper shades? If it isn't going to help you achieve a greater purpose, the whole point of you, then why be concerned in the first place?"

"But I was never really given a greater purpose, and what is-"

"A greater purpose isn't something your given."

"The whole 'greater' business doesn't sound like it should be chosen."

"Yet often things aren't as they should sound."

"Then is it something I am born with?"

"It is something you identify with. Something that synchronizes with who you are."

"Becoming very declarative for a questioning voice, aren't we now? And explain this synchronization."

"Well, what's you?"

Gretznuk rested his head on his chin and reflected on himself. His traits. His differences with the other orks. The number of limbs he had, counting his head. His similarities with the other orks.

He rubbed his fingers against his face. Until now he had never noticed how small his jaw was compared to what he saw on the other orks, what he expected to see on himself. He traced his fingers up to his scalp and noticed the even path. While the other orks would have a slope from their scalp to their wider jaw, the angle from the base of his jaw to the crown of his head was of an even vertical level. "Oh," he said.

"Lord Captain Caius Augustus, reports have confirmed that the planetary governor is planning an insurrection within the next fourteen standard days."

"Thank you, Midshipman. Return to your post. You have served your duty to the Emperor."

The Lord Captain gazed upon the greenish-purple glow of the colonized planet. It was perhaps the most distant of any of the planets in the Ultima Segmentum and felt the full influence of the Emperor only from the single cruiser that watched from above. It's denizens were promised three days prior the watchful eye of a fleet that, unknown to them, had been destroyed by an ancient fleet of morbid origins. It was only a great vessel following the fleet as an escort that managed to come across the colonized world. The Inquisitor aboard sent agents down to the surface, and found that this post-industrial society shockingly lacked any presence of the Inquisition or any of the Emperor's forces for that matter. Sure, the planet had it's own militia, but they were not of the Emperor, rather of their own and using technologies advanced for such a separated worldwide colony.

The planetary governor elected held more influence and authority over the people than what the Inquisitor aboard the Prime Fidelis VI found to be comfortable. Thus, the vessel above the planet watched carefully for signs of resentment against what the planet's inhabitants referred to as the "Unknown god".

"Caius, the time has come to purge the heresy and show these people that their Emperor is no unknown god!"

"Indeed it is."

"I only ask you keep the ship ready for my return and to send word for reinforcements."

"Let me remind you that the Chief Astropath has been having difficulty reaching across the Warp."

"For this long? There must be Chaos forces upon this planet interfering with our communications. Permit me to deploy several accompanied detachments of Storm Troopers assigned to this ship to the planet's surface so that any heresy is purged swiftly."

"Inquisitor, are your colleagues not sufficient enough?"

The Inquisitor stepped closer to the captain, who winced at the stench at his breath. "If the forces of Chaos upon this planet are strong enough to give our Chief Astropath difficulty, I believe it is necessary to use as much strength as possible to purge them. The purging of heresy waits for no man."

The captain stepped back. "So be it. Take what is necessary, but do not expect me to cooperate to the letter. This is the third time you have demanded my forces suddenly, and I will not loose any more men in your mad, random purges."

The Inquisitor turned and began to leave, but stopped at the door leading out of the bridge. "Do not be surprised when I purge you for any heretical actions you may take." He then left.

Caius Augustus looked at the planet. Dread crawled up his neck, into his mouth, and down his throat. He swallowed. A bad feeling wiggled its way through his body, and his gut told him this wasn't going to end well for anyone.

"Midshipman! Alert the rest of the ship to high vigilance. I do not give permission for the departure of personnel and resources as of the immediate moment."