Once A Day
Characters/Pairings: Heero, Relena; not so subtle 1xR
Words: 1,377
Author's Note: Good news everybody! You're not reading this in Professor Farnsworth's voice! (Okay, okay, enough joking around.) Actually, this is the longest of all of the stories so far. I have no idea how it ended up being so long, but only that if I tried to tell the same story in less words, it probably wouldn't work. I would also say that a fair amount of this was inspired by conversations with my husband, who simply cannot fathom the amount of products required to make oneself pretty. Seriously. I have two drawers and most of under the sink for my stuff while he gets what little space is left over. I am actually willing to admit that quite a few of Heero's thoughts in this particular one-shot are things that my husband has told me repeatedly over the last four years of our marriage - at least when it comes to how much crap a woman can have in the bathroom.

I rather enjoyed how this one turned out, as I felt I could use it to explore the nuances of the relationship between Heero and Relena. Enjoy!

Gerontology - the scientific study of aging

Sharing a bathroom with Relena had perks, Heero decided one lazy afternoon while she was curled up in her library with a good novel and he was putting away their recent drug store purchases. They had settled into an odd domestic state, and while they didn't share a bedroom, their rooms were conjoined by a mutual bathroom.

At first he had been reluctant to do so – two members of the opposite sex sharing a bathroom who were not married had caused a bit of a commotion. But there was a comfortable brother/sister vibe between the vice-foreign minister and her top bodyguard, so most of the security team thought nothing of it. Oh, if only they knew. After the initial weirdness had worn off, they reached a level of comfortable that was far more intimate than anyone could ever guess. Shared showers were a common occurrence.

Back at the task at hand, Heero was putting away the various toiletries they had purchased that morning. If anyone ever wanted to know what the difference between a man and a woman, especially a woman in the public eye, was, all they had to do was look in a bathroom cupboard.

He kept it simple. Replacement heads for his electric toothbrush, a spare tube of toothpaste, replacement razors, shaving cream, bars of soap, and a stick of deodorant.

Relena's side had jars and bottles of various creams to deal with whatever skin condition might happen, bottles of cleansers, wipes and pads, sponges and make-up brushes, an entire bag filled with cosmetics for every occasion, several bottles and vials of perfume and scented oils, and the dreaded feminine hygiene products. She had once told him that her bathroom was once sparsely populated by toiletries, but spending most of her time in front of the press had more or less demanded that she look her best at all times and the purchase of products to achieve that.

There were new jars and bottles of creams and serums to add to this already massive stockpile, nearly all of them labeled anti-aging and wrinkle prevention.

"What the hell?" he muttered angrily as he grabbed the closest jar and booked it down to the library.

Relena was curled up in one of the large wingback chairs with a blanket over her lap, thoroughly engrossed in the antics Regency era England. She was so far into the book that she jumped when Heero slammed the door open. She was so startled she looked around in panic until she saw him standing in the door with a stern look on his face. "Sheesh, you don't have to slam the door, Heero."

"What the hell is this?" he demanded as he walked to her, thrusting the jar in her face.

"Moisturizer for my face," Relena answered blankly.

"Anti-wrinkle moisturizer for your face," he corrected. "You're only twenty-four, Relena."

Her eyebrows shot up as she smiled in amusement as his concern. "It's mostly preventative."

"You look fine," he spat back.

"I'm flattered that you of all people have noticed," she said as she folded down the page corner of her book and then snapped it shut. "However, the minute I start showing wrinkles the press is going to be all over me like starving dog on a steak. My job is high stress and it's starting to show."

"You're just being overly sensitive," he muttered.

"Overly sensitive? 'Overly sensitive' he says as if there's not an issue here," she nearly screeched as she stood up. Getting face to face with him, she poked him in the chest. "I have frown lines that no girl my age should have! These creams and serums are the best in the market to treat the signs of aging and there's a mountain of research to back it up!"

He rolled his eyes. "Wrinkles give you character."

"Well I'm glad you think so, but the rest of the world is no so kind, Mister Yuy," she snarled. She stomped past him, most likely to go sulk in her bedroom.

With a sigh, Heero ran a hand through his messy hair. Didn't she know that even with a few frown lines she was still the most beautiful person he had ever met? Realizing that he would have to apologize, he started back up to the bedrooms while formulating a proper response to her frustrations.

He found her bedroom door locked from the hallway, so he took the other approach. The door to the conjoining bathroom was closed, but it locked from within the bathroom so there was no way she could truly lock him out. He twisted the handle and then pulled, gracefully stepping out the way when a chair fell back towards his feet.

"Damn it!" she growled as she glowered at Heero's form standing completely still in the doorway.

"The doors open in, Relena," he said as he picked up the chair and placed it back against the wall. He took a deep breath and stared his friend down. "I understand that you're worried about your appearance but it shouldn't matter. You're beautiful inside and out and if the tabloids feel otherwise, I might feel obligated to remind them that they're ugly inside and out."

She snorted.

"I understand why women feel this compulsive need to always look like they just stepped out of a magazine, but in my opinion it's not worth it. You're going to spend a small fortune on products that may or may not work, because a handful of doctors say so," he said with far more passion that he was used to using when addressing her.

She blinked at him, unsure of where his sudden rant had come from. It was so unlike him to butt into her personal matters, at least her personal matters that didn't deal directly with her safety. "You cannot be serious," she murmured in disbelief.

He sighed. "I keep my distance for a reason, Relena. Personal feeling can cloud judgment and impair my abilities, so I keep them separated from work, but that hardly means that I don't care. And as to all of these ridiculous creams and lotions, I feel that you're being paranoid."

She gave a dry chuckle. "Of course you do. Men get wrinkles and they're dignified. Women get wrinkles and suddenly we're old maids who worked too much to have the even more fulfilling career of having a family."

"That's beside the point, Relena," he said gently as he approached her. "If your career is driving you to use products that are common with women the same age as your mother, then maybe you should consider a change."

"I am not changing my lotion."

"I meant that maybe you should take a sabbatical, or even consider retirement from the political arena."

She looked at him like he had sprouted another head or perhaps had professed his undying love for her. "You cannot be serious."

He nodded. "I am. You've been running yourself ragged since you were sixteen. I doubt anyone would fault you for taking a break."

"But…"

"No buts, Relena. I think some time off would do you good. Take the money that you're spending on anti-aging products and put it towards a long vacation."

She looked thoughtful as she carefully considered Heero's suggestion. Following the end of the Eve War she had stepped into the role vacated by her foster father, hoping to carry on his legacy. It was fulfilling, but it left her with little personal time. Perhaps he had a point and that a long, much deserved vacation was in order. She took a deep breath and slowly released it before answering. "You might have a point."

"Might?" One eyebrow cocked up.

"I think a year-long sabbatical might be in order, and after that I'll see if I'm up to jumping back into the political arena," she conceded. "Does that satisfy you?"

He nodded.

"Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some phone calls to make." She headed down to her office to start making the appropriate calls to hand in her temporary resignation, leaving Heero alone in her bedroom with a small smile on his face.

Perhaps he could finally convince her to clean out all of the crap from underneath the bathroom sinks.