Author's Notes: Once again, this quick update is all down to Jack. He had a lot to say, and as I've mentioned, I learned the hard way not to argue with him when he wants to get something out (glares at the immortal currently laughing hysterically). In the next chapter, we'll get back to the rest of the team and family in Oklahoma, as Sophia calls Carlyon for their nightly talks. In this chapter, Natalie sees something she really wishes she hadn't; Liam reflects on ending up in Jack's bed (among other things); and some things fall into place for Jack. I'm anticipating no more than two more actual chapters, followed by the epilogue … which may be posted in two parts. I'm still debating the best way to do that.
Chapter Nine
Skin Against Skin
Ailsa was asleep. As Natalie feared, she'd failed in her attempt to explain why someone would hurt Jack, but she eventually fell back on her old stand-by … there were just bad people in the world and they got mad when people stopped them. This wasn't the first time something like this happened, of course. But it never got any easier, trying to explain things like that. She knew her daughter was a smart little girl, and ruefully admitted to herself that it wasn't that her child was lacking in intelligence … but it was Natalie who lacked a good way to explain the way of the world to her baby girl. What was it that Michael Caine said in one of the Batman movies? 'Some people just want to watch the world burn.' True. Try explaining that to a five year old, though. Ailsa's favorite word was still 'why.' Then again, Natalie was pretty sure she was the same way at that age.
For now, Ailsa was asleep and Natalie was nursing a pounding headache. Her mother was looking after Jack (despite his protests that he was just fine and Sophia needed to … well, she wasn't entirely sure what he said at that point, his voice kinda trailed off), and now, Natalie knew she should rest as well. Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy, as her mind continued to race. She stroked her daughter's hair and Ailsa mumbled in her sleep, burrowing against Natalie, drawing a small smile. She bowed her head and kissed Ailsa's hair, and then sighed quietly.
With an effort, she forced her mind away from Jack (never an easy thing to do), and instead, she tried to focus on Angelo Colasanto's will and everything she learned in the last few hours. This entire compound was now hers … this was her responsibility. Jack reminded her that she didn't have to decide anything right now, and she wasn't … but she had to figure out how to tell the staff of the compound (her employees!) that no matter what happened, they wouldn't be abandoned. Angelo Colasanto left her this house for a reason, and she wouldn't do anything to let him down. Once they were both feeling more themselves, she would have to ask Jack which buildings he wanted on the property. That was one request Natalie had no trouble honoring.
She already decided that while she would keep the house, she would only keep one (or maybe two) of the buildings for her own use. That still left the rest of the compound. Or rather, what would she do with the house itself? Natalie briefly entertained the idea of turning it into a home for homeless veterans, before dismissing the idea with regret. Much as she loved the idea, the logistics of finding said homeless veterans and bringing them to the compound would be something of a headache. She let that idea go (but promised herself that she would speak to her father about finding an empty building in Dupres or maybe Lawton for that very purpose). There had to be something she could do with the house, something that would help people.
Natalie shook her head, needing to distract herself for a few minutes before she gave herself a headache. There were plenty of distractions, as it happened. She thought about Ray, the gardener who pulled Jack out of the garage and then physically carried him to safety. There was more to him that what was obvious. It was one thing for her mother or Jack, both of whom were far older than they appeared, to have the strength of their youth. It was another thing for Ray, who was likely in his sixties, to be able to pick up and carry a tall, long-legged man like Jack … and not even break a sweat. And he'd been angry, truly angry, on Jack's behalf … it reminded Natalie of her own fury when she came face to face with her daughter's former teacher. But to the best of her knowledge, Ray the gardener had never met Jack before. Then again, there were the magic words, 'to the best of her knowledge.'
One would have thought that after two naps today, Natalie would have been unable to sleep. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case, especially after the nightmares she had the previous night, and she eventually drifted into a fitful rest while stroking Ailsa's hair. Just as unfortunate, she drifted into familiar territory … the nightmares about her near-betrayal of Jack, the lives she took while they were rescuing Esther … and then there was a twist. Memories of Ethan and that time in her life pushed to the surface, and the words that hurt her so deeply as a new college graduate returned to haunt her: 'how could anyone love a cold fish like you? No man could possibly want you, Natalie, you're not capable of love.'
True enough, he said that after she refused to have sex with him. She'd been twenty-three and while she wanted him terribly, she wasn't ready to have sex. But he hadn't stopped there. Still pissed that a 'nothing from a backwater' turned him down, he'd gone even further and tried to ruin her reputation, and when that didn't work … well. Things got ugly for a while, and it was all Natalie could do to keep her father from completely annihilating Ethan. And now that she knew he was her father, his fury made a lot more sense. And Priscilla … it wouldn't surprise Natalie at all to find that her sister (both of her sisters) put their heads together to make Ethan's life a living hell. She would have to remember to thank them when her mother called in tonight.
In any event, when a thump from the room adjoining her own (Jack's room) woke her up, she was already in a rather low mood, thanks to her dreams and memories. At first, she needed to re-orient herself … the bed didn't feel completely right, and none of the familiar sounds were there when she woke up … and then she remembered. She, her mother, her daughter and Jack were all at the Colasanto compound, which was hers now … and that was when she heard something else. It, like the thump, came from Jack's room, and it sounded suspiciously like there was someone in pain. Natalie froze, holding her breath, and then the sound came again.
Natalie's eyes darted around the room. The thought crossed her mind that she should knock … but if there was someone in the other room, hurting Jack, would they pay attention to the knock? No. No, they wouldn't … it might make things worse … and she couldn't wait for her mother or for Ray this time. The young mother nodded, grimly determined. With that understanding in place, Natalie slid out of bed, careful not to wake Ailsa. At the same time, she looked around for a weapon she could use, in the event that Jack wasn't able to fight back once she distracted his assailant. After a moment, she noticed an old umbrella, one of the long ones she remembered from her childhood. That would do. Natalie gave a small nod and picked it up by its handle, before moving stealthily to the door that separated her room from Jack's.
Her mind was still not completely awake, so when she saw the crown of Jack's head and the man above him, supported by one hand on either side of Jack, Natalie wasn't entirely sure what she was seeing. That lasted until she saw the man kissing his way down Jack's body, and a low moan was drawn from her friend's throat. And suddenly, horrifyingly, everything made sense. It wasn't an assault she'd been hearing … well, not the kind she thought was happening. Natalie slowly, quietly withdrew from Jack's room, sick at invading her friend's privacy. He deserved better than that from her. Once she eased the door closed, trying to make as little noise as possible, Natalie dropped the umbrella on the floor and trudged back to bed. She was shivering now, so cold, and slipped under the covers to curl next to her daughter. Stupid, stupid woman, thinking that Jack needed her help! She held Ailsa tightly, leading the little girl to turn in her embrace to bury her face against Natalie's chest. The mother turned her face to the pillow, so that her tears soaked the pillowcase, rather than her daughter's hair.
TWTWTWTWTWTWTW
There were a thousand reasons why he shouldn't have done this … it was mind-bogglingly unprofessional, to say nothing of being unhealthy. But Liam Grady couldn't really regret anything he'd done. Especially not after having Jack's hands gliding over his skin, not after hearing the sounds he could draw from Jack with his own touch. He'd told Jack that he'd never reacted so strongly to anyone as he did to Jack, man or woman. What he hadn't told him was that he'd never been attracted to a man before, and that terrified him as much as anything. He'd seen himself in one particular way for his entire life, and just by honoring Angelo's request and coming here, Jack had thrown everything Liam ever believed about himself into sharp disarray. He wasn't sure if he would ever forgive Jack for that.
But as he rained kisses over Jack's torso, he knew that for the lie that it was. During the last go-round, they ended up facing the opposite direction, with their feet pushing up against the headboard. He still wasn't sure how that happened … then again, Jack was very good with his mouth, with his hands … hell, he knew how to use his entire body to wicked effect! As they lay there, catching their breath, curled together, skin against skin, Liam asked if Jack was letting him have control during the first time. Jack raised his brows, a small smile playing about his lips, and responded, 'I don't think it was a matter of 'letting' you do anything.' Liam felt his face warm with his blushing, and Jack's smile brightened before kissing him thoroughly.
During their second time, Jack murmured that it was his turn. Liam wasn't entirely sure what that meant, not at first. But the number of times Jack's lips, fingertips, tongue and teeth turned Liam's world white gave him a pretty good clue. Jack's statement could be taken one of two ways … it was Jack's turn to pleasure Liam … or Liam's turn to be pleasured. Either way, it worked out to the same thing. Their second time, it was all about Liam, and as he lay beside Jack, heart thundering in his chest, he began to understand: the moment Angelo and Jack met, Angelo never really stood a chance. He was so young when he met Jack Harkness, so very young, and if the immortal captain blew through the defenses of a forty-three year old lawyer, what chance did twenty-two year old Angelo have? He didn't. He never stood a chance.
One night, perhaps a week before Angelo slipped into his final coma, he called Liam to sit with him a while. As conversations so often did during that time period, their discussion eventually turned to regrets and the past. Angelo told of a minor conflict between himself and Jack, when Jack made an assumption that Angelo didn't appreciate. Looking back now, as an old man, he could understand Jack's question far better. The lawyer quietly asked what it was, and Angelo smiled faintly, explaining Jack's question or assumption was that a particular teacher of Angelo's was also a former lover. Liam made a face, but admitted it wasn't such a far leap. The old man sitting opposite him inclined his head in agreement. The two lapsed into silence, contemplating the fading light and the wine they were drinking. At last, Liam, emboldened by the wine and his companion's forthrightness, asked what Angelo would do if he met Jack Harkness again. Angelo was silent for a long time, and Liam was on the verge of telling Angelo not to worry about it, when the old man murmured, "In my old body, I would kneel before him, kiss his hands, and beg his forgiveness. Truly beg his forgiveness, instead of the foolish excuses I offered him when I was an equally foolish boy."
Liam's next question caught in his throat, because really, how could you ask for clarification on that? He really needed to stop thinking like a lawyer and focus on thinking like a friend. Angelo smiled at him sadly and continued, "That is what I would do in this old body of mine. But in my young body, the body he spent nights worshipping? In my young body, I would finish what we started before I betrayed him, when he came back to me … kissing and touching him, loving him. I would undress him as tenderly as I cleaned him that awful night, and then kiss each healed wound that I, and the others, inflicted upon him. And I would whisper with each kiss, 'amore tu, tu tenere mio cuore.' That's Italian for 'I love you, you hold my heart.' But you knew that. And then, I would hold him against me, telling him that he was safe in my arms … safe, in a way he never was before."
The lawyer remembered this now, as his lips caressed Jack's skin, as he was serenaded with pleasure sounds from the other man. Over and over, remembering the exact intonation of Angelo's words, he murmured, 'amore tu, tu tenere mio cuore.' It was a whisper or a breath, not loud enough for Jack to hear, but a mantra for Liam. 'I love you, you hold my heart.' Whether it was true of himself and Jack or not, it certainly felt like the truth right now. In this moment, he knew that he would give Jack Harkness anything at all. And right now was all that mattered. Right now, as he collapsed against Jack, unable to tell whose heart was beating faster; right now, as Jack's fingers curled around the back of his neck in a loose embrace.
During each round, lovemaking turned into wrestling matches … or acrobatics. As his cheek rested against Jack's shoulder, Liam noted something looked out of place, and it took him a moment to figure out what that something was. He gave a low huff of laughter and Jack made a soft, inquiring noise. Liam pressed his lips to the soft skin under his face and murmured, "We got overly-enthusiastic and knocked a book onto the floor." There was a snicker from the body under his own, which turned to a moan when Liam shifted his leg just a hair. The lawyer smirked. People always did say he was a fast learner.
It took Jack a few moments, but eventually he breathed, "That's probably the sound I heard. Thought I heard a door closing, but it was probably the book falling. Can't imagine which book, though … the only book I brought was Esther's Christmas gift to me, and that's still in my bag." There was a second moan when Liam breathed on a particular patch of skin and moved his leg again. He smiled to himself, absolutely determined to render Jack completely speechless by the time he was done.
For now, he said only, "I think it was the phone book. I had Lily put those in each guest room, in case someone got hungry late at night and wanted to order in." He didn't remember hearing a door close, but maybe Jack was right, and he heard the book hitting the ground. On the other hand, his head was pointed in the other direction, and if Jack was capable of paying attention to anything other than what Liam was doing, then Liam obviously wasn't doing it right. That did not make the lawyer happy.
"Mmm. Speaking of dinner, what time do we gather and where exactly? With the Tregarths, we either eat in the kitchen or the formal dining room, depending on which meal of the day it is. Breakfast and lunch tend to be in the kitchen … dinner in the formal dining room. Think we both could use a shower before joining the others," Jack observed sleepily. Liam knew the other man had already taken one shower, courtesy of Sophia Tregarth, but taking another one wouldn't be a bad idea. Maybe they could do the 'responsible' thing and take a shower together? Liam's heart rate picked up and his muscles (one in particular) tensed in anticipation.
"Dinner will be at seven and this first night, it'll be in the dining room. The other nights are still being worked out. That was how Signora Talia always wanted it, and when it came to domestic matters, Angelo never argued with her," Liam answered softly. There was another sleepy hum from Jack, and Liam went on, "You would have loved her, you know. She was soft-spoken and gentle, but could be as fierce as a lioness defending her cub. I always told myself that if I ever got married, it would be to a woman like Signora Talia."
He smiled to himself, remembering what Angelo said when the twenty-five year old Liam told him that. 'You would be a most fortunate man, if you found a woman like my Talia.' Jack's response wasn't what Liam was expecting, however. The immortal murmured, "You hated Angelo's granddaughter Olivia, didn't you?" Liam froze, and Jack went on, "When I hear people talking about Talia Colasanto, it's comparing her and her granddaughter, and Olivia definitely comes off worse in the comparison. It wasn't simply because Talia came first or that she was viewed as more gentle. You, and many of the members of the staff, flat-out hated Olivia, if not simply disliked."
Liam slid his hands down Jack's flanks, trying to think of a way to explain the intricacies of the Colasanto family to him. At last, he murmured, "You can love someone, especially a family member, without liking them. That's how things are with Olivia. We loved her. We just didn't like her very much. And Angelo always told me that I was just as much a member of his family as Olivia or Philip. Signora Talia … Angelo always said that she was strong enough to be kind, and that was one reason he loved her so very much. That was a strength that Olivia lacked. She had no kindness in her, and what she wanted most of all was power. At the end, she had power, but no respect. That's something I told the staff, after I broke the news that Natalie Tregarth inherited the house. I told them that she was like Signora Talia, strong enough to be kind."
"Then I'm glad Angelo left the house to Nat. It sounds like she really is a lot like Talia," Jack replied simply. Liam smiled against Jack's shoulder, biting back a gasp as now-familiar hands began wandering up and down his own body. The immortal purred, "But for now, I can think of better things to be discussing … and even better things to be doing." With those words, Jack rolled to one side, and Liam found himself staring up into mischievous blue eyes. And then, Jack kissed him and the lawyer wasn't seeing much of anything at all.
TWTWTWTWTWTWTW
Despite Liam's revelations and his own statement, Jack was quite certain that what he heard wasn't a book falling to the ground, but a door closing. However, there was nothing he could do about that for now, and so he turned his attention to Liam. He really wasn't prepared for the other man's rather … forceful … entrance into his room (among other places), but Jack hadn't lived as long as he had by being inflexible. Granted, being flexible or inflexible didn't mean much when you were a fixed point in time and space, but he hadn't known that until 2007. And whether he was a soldier or the director of Torchwood, being flexible was an absolute must.
The two showered, which took a little longer than anticipated for reasons Jack knew were entirely possible, but by six, Liam was dressed and after a final kiss, headed back to his office at the compound. Jack finished dressing, mentally reviewing the different possibilities. He'd been temporarily distracted from his concerns about the attack by Liam, but now, he returned his attention to his memories of that afternoon. If it was directed solely at him, he wouldn't be nearly as worried, but there was the possibility that it was a first strike at the Tregarth ladies. And that, Jack wouldn't tolerate.
He also needed to speak with Philip, to see what needed to be done to transfer Suzie Costello to the new morgue. She'd been one of Jack's, once, and he wanted Suzie where he could keep an eye on her. But that could wait until the following morning … they'd planned to spend a week here, which would now give Natalie the time she needed to make a decision about what to do with her inheritance. It was a big decision to make, and Jack was determined that she would have as much time as she needed to make the right decision. At six fifteen, he draped his greatcoat over his arm, and then left his room, stopping long enough to knock on Natalie's door. After a moment, the door opened, to reveal Sophia, who murmured, "Come on in … Natalie should be out of the shower shortly."
Jack slipped inside, and Ailsa immediately greeted him with, "Jack, Mommy was crying." Mommy was crying? Crying, why? Jack glanced at Sophia, who sighed and went to her granddaughter. She drew the little girl into her arms and murmured something to her. Ailsa protested, "But she was! She said she was dreaming about when Miss Wycliffe wanted her to hurt Jack, but she hasn't cried like that in forever." It had been several weeks since those nightmares left Natalie in tears, but to a five-year-old, that was forever. And Ailsa was, like so many children, so very protective of her mother and the rest of her family.
"I know, honey, but Jack can't do anything about that. Don't you want to make sure he's okay?" Sophia asked. Jack glared at his old friend … especially a moment later, when he found himself with a little girl clinging to him like a limpet. That didn't stop him from curling his arms around Ailsa … which in turn didn't stop him from mouthing over her head, 'I will pay you back for this.' Sophia merely smirked, eyes dancing with amusement. Jack was seriously tempted to stick his tongue out at her, but it was at that point that Natalie emerged from the bathroom, steam rolling out behind her. Her dark hair was wrapped in a towel, and her eyes slid away from Jack, as if she was looking through a perception filter. Something was wrong. However, for now, he held his tongue. Contrary to popular belief, he was capable of that.
"Mommy, Jack's better!" Ailsa announced brightly from her position in the immortal's arms. He winced a little as her knee came dangerously close to some rather sensitive parts, and carefully shifted her. Natalie smiled and mouthed, 'so I see,' all the while still looking at anyone but Jack. She didn't seem angry … more like uncomfortable, and a possibility nudged at Jack's mind. The snick of a door closing … Natalie's new discomfort with him … Liam mentioning that their bedroom acrobatics resulted in the phone book landing on the floor … all of this led to a very simple conclusion. All right. All right, this was a problem he could deal with.
"I am better. And you know something, I think we have about fifteen minutes before dinner … and I was told while I was exploring that the gardens are like a fairy tale at night. What do you think, Mama Sophia? Up to taking your grandbaby for a stroll?" Jack suggested, barely fighting back a wince at Ailsa's squeal of delight. Ow. He distracted himself by noting the barely-concealed panic in Natalie's eyes. Oh yeah. Just like he thought. However, Sophia agreed immediately, kissing her daughter's cheek and sweeping Ailsa out of Jack's arms. Natalie offered a small smile, but as soon as her mother and daughter were out of the room, she turned and went back into the bathroom, supposedly to finish drying her hair and then combing it. If she thought that would discourage Jack at all, she should know better. One thing he was very good at was waiting. He'd had more than a hundred years of practice, after all.
When Natalie returned to the bedroom a few minutes later, her hair combed and pulled into a barrette, her expression registered first dismay and then resignation when she noticed him sitting on the bed. Her shoulders slumped a little, and she leaned against the wall. Jack was silent for a few minutes, while he figured out the best way to approach this. Teasing her would be a very bad move … he found that out after their argument, just before Sophia awoke … and so he went with the straightforward approach. He asked in the gentlest voice possible, "How much did you see?" Natalie froze and closed her eyes, as if she was bracing herself for a blow. Jack went on, "I'm not angry, Nat."
"I wasn't trying to … I didn't mean to invade your privacy," she replied hoarsely. Jack nodded. He thought as much. Evidently reassured that he truly wasn't angry with her, Natalie continued, "I had another nightmare. It started with the mess a few weeks ago, and then it became about those people I killed, back when we rescued Esther. I … I don't know why or when it suddenly became an issue, but … but I started realizing that I killed someone's sister or brother, husband or wife, I realized that I took the life of another human being, and I didn't even regret it. I knew that it was us or them, and I knew what they did to Esther, what they did to the world, and it scared me. I wondered if I started losing my humanity while I was undercover."
Jack rose to his feet and carefully approached the young woman, murmuring, "You didn't, Natalie. If you were losing your humanity, then you wouldn't be having these nightmares." She inclined her head, as if to say that she knew that in her head. Jack went on, "But there's more." Once more, she nodded and moved sideways, away from the wall and away from him. She was giving herself space, and Jack stayed put. He was dealing with a very skittish person at the moment, and pushing her wouldn't be a good idea.
She continued after a moment, "The nightmare turned to the past, the distant past even. There was … a person I knew a long time ago. When I was young, when I was in college, I thought I was in love with him. I was so young, so stupid." There was a particular bitterness on the word 'stupid,' and Jack held his tongue. He highly doubted if she was stupid, but since she wasn't ready to tell him the entire story, he would hold his tongue. What she did tell him was enough to infuriate him, but he tucked that anger away for another time, when he needed it. Right now, he didn't need it. And he didn't try to hurry Natalie along … she would tell this story in her own time, on her own terms, and no one else's.
She said again, returning to this evening and what she'd seen, "I never meant to invade your privacy. But … and I'm not sure if I was already awake, or if the thump from your room woke me up. Either way, I was still disoriented, from being asleep and from the nightmares. I heard … something else. It sounded like someone in pain, and you were attacked earlier this afternoon. I was afraid for you. I was afraid that someone went into your room while you were asleep and hurt you again. So … I decided to investigate, and grabbed the most likely weapon, in case I needed to protect myself or you. I thought for a minute about knocking on the door, but I was afraid to tip off whoever was hurting you … or that whoever was in there would just ignore the knock. Pretty silly, huh?"
This was said with a sheepish look. It wasn't very smart (not that Jack came up with the smartest ideas all the time), but not for the reasons Natalie was thinking. Carlyon had a point about her being ready to go into the field. Startling an assailant could have resulted in Natalie being hurt, possibly very badly. However, he said nothing, choosing to further her education a little later. Instead, he cupped her face in his hands, quietly thanking whatever deity was listening that she allowed the contact, and feathered his thumbs across her cheekbones. She sighed a little, tilting her head just a little to one side to lean into the touch, and went on, "I opened the door as quietly as I could … and … well, saw you two. I felt so awful and came back to my room, trying to be as silent as possible. It was bad enough that I walked in on you … I didn't want to make things worse by making a spectacle of myself."
"How were you planning to defend me? You mentioned finding a likely weapon, or the most likely weapon, but you didn't mention exactly what you had?" Jack asked. She blushed, lowering her eyes, and Jack prompted, "Natalie? What were you intending to use to protect us?" She mumbled something, and Jack added, teasing her just a little to see if he could, "My hearing's good, but even I had a hard time hearing that. What did you intend to use, Natalie?"
She looked at him from under her lowered lashes and said softly, shyly, "The umbrella." The umbrella? Jack looked from Natalie to a tall umbrella sitting beside the door, and then looked back at Natalie. The umbrella. She intended to fight off whatever attacker she found in his room with an umbrella. Jack began to smile, and Natalie offered a shy smile, adding, "Pretty silly, I know, but I wasn't thinking real clear. I figured if nothing else, I could whack him across the shoulders, and if you were conscious, that would distract him long enough for you to get the better of him. And if you weren't conscious, I'd whack him until he was out cold, too. Like I said. Pretty silly."
"Pretty ingenious, actually … those umbrellas can do a lot of damage. Especially one like that," Jack replied. Natalie frowned and he added, "I'll explain later, but that umbrella is a helluva lot more dangerous than you realize. It could have been worse … you could have picked up your knapsack." Natalie made a face at that, and Jack said more seriously, "Really, that was very brave … maybe foolish, but we'll deal with that later. I don't want you dying for me, understand? You don't come back, and you have a young daughter who needs you."
"I don't want you dying for me, either! I don't care if you come back, dying hurts you and so does coming back!" Natalie retorted. Her hands came up to cover his, her thumbs brushing over his knuckles. She wasn't aware of doing it, and Jack had no intention of making her aware, either. The young woman paused, took a deep breath, and then said, "I know that you really don't have much use for it, but I'm gonna say it anyhow. I'm sorry, Jack. I truly meant to protect you, not invade your privacy."
"Apology accepted. I'm not upset about it, I'm not angry about it, and if I'd been aware of it, I probably would have invited you to join us. But I know you wouldn't have wanted to leave Ailsa alone," Jack teased gently. That earned him a blush, Natalie's skin warming under his fingers, and a shy smile. He added, "If you think I'm kidding, Nat, you're very wrong. I mean it. I would have invited you to join us." She turned even redder and Jack finally felt safe in leaning forward to press a light kiss to her forehead. She mumbled something and Jack caught his breath. She eyed him cautiously, as if checking to see how he was reacting, and he murmured, "Then I would have been honored to be your first."
"Really? You don't think I'm pathetic for … well, you know?" Natalie asked earnestly and Jack shook his head, his eyes never leaving her face. She swallowed hard, murmuring, "There have been times when I wanted to, but either they weren't interested or I wasn't sure if I could trust them." And trust was a major issue for Natalie, as he knew all too well. Her voice quavered, just a little bit, and Jack had enough. He pulled her into his arms, head tucked against his chest, and just held her. He could feel her trembling and tightened his grasp, trying to reassure her.
"Then they're the ones who lost out. I don't think you're pathetic at all, Natalie … I think they are," he murmured, kissing the top of her head. Her arms wrapped around his waist, and for several moments, nothing was said. Nothing needed to be said. At last, Jack whispered against her hair, "Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner, Miss Tregarth?" There was a surprised giggle, and then Natalie whispered back that the honor would entirely be hers. Jack wasn't too sure of that … but if that was what she wanted to believe, he would let her believe that. For now.
TBC