A/N: Hey everyone. Sorry it's been so long, my beta and I have kinda been snowed in with school and stuffs. Just to let you know I intend to finish this story - I won't just abandon it no matter how long it takes me to update! This chapter is a little shorter than the others but it's plotty and I'd love to know what you think about it :)

Thanks, as always, to FezzesRCool25 for beta-ing :)

27th Feb

8:00pm

It's a full month today since Lily's party and the 'revelations' that came with it.

Just thought I should, I don't know, mark the date. I don't know.

The atmosphere in the common room is pretty tense. Barely anyone is speaking and people keep glancing towards us in hope that James or Sirius will do something funny to break the silence.

They haven't. Sirius is laid across the sofa, I'm currently resting my diary on his shins, with his eyes shut and James is staring into the fire. I hope he's thinking about something helpful.

John stormed in a few minutes ago. He's been sat at a table in the corner in a stony (hah, see what I did there?) silence. Sammie and Martin are with him, whispering soothing things. Rather them than me, I suck at comforting people. I do try though. Which counts.

Sammie stood up when he arrived, still wet from the showers, and she frowned when she saw how angry he was. James was in the middle of copying out Lily's potions notes and he jerked as John marched over.

"I cannot take another practice with that idiot." Stony hissed. I froze. John is placid. John is unflappable. What on Earth could have happened to make him so mad?

"Who?" James asked and lowered his voice when people started looking over. "Who?"

"Clarkson." He practically spat. Sirius opened his eyes in interest, I almost grinned at him. Nosy git.

"What happened?" I asked and he glared at me. I didn't take it personally.

"He's a prick!" John's voice was high pitched, hysterical. "I can't stand him. He's rude. Arrogant. Can't teach for bloody toffee – womanizing – dirty-"

"-John!" Sammie grabbed his hand, shock evident in her face. His voice had slowly been rising in volume and people were staring.

And, when you think about it, and I have been thinking about it, Quidditch has suddenly gotten quite political. We can't have people knowing that we're not enjoying ourselves because the word would spread like fiendfyre and then we'd be in trouble. Plus, we don't want people from the other teams thinking we're not performing and telling the new arrivals . . . Merlin.

"I'm just telling you." John lowered his voice. It sounded like a threat. "Something has to be done."

The 'I told you so' look that spread across my face was countered with a dark look from James. I glared back until Sirius knocked me with his knee and I remembered that the common room probably wasn't the best place for a Potter family fight.

"I don't know what you expect me to do, he's a professional quidditch player and it was just the luck of the draw who we got as a partner." Sammie scoffed at that.

"Come on! You really think that he does anything without planning it to the tiniest detail?" James shrugged and I sat up a little straighter, ready to dive in. James was just being an arse.

"Talk to Coach." I told him. A sense of de ja vu that wasn't de ja vu at all washed over me.

"I can't."

"Sorry, but we've had this conversation before. Just talk to him." People were sneaking glances at us again and I found that I didn't care at all.

"Billie, for Merlin's sake-!" And he didn't say anything else, choosing to ignore us in favour of staring moodily into the fire.

It was left to me to bid Sammie and Stony good night.

I really hope John isn't mad enough to skip practice tomorrow. And Martin. It's all going to pot. All of it.

7:30pm

Sirius has just bet me he can eat more cauldron cakes than I can in a minute.

Challenge accepted, methinks.

Remus says if we make ourselves sick he will have no sympathy.

James says he hopes I choke and die.

10:00pm

By order of the all-knowing and marvellous Billie Potter, I, Sirius Black, have to concede that I am unable to consume as many cauldron cakes as her nobleness in one minute. Though, she did cheat, distracting me by asking if I was saving 'that bit on my nose for a midnight snack' when, in fact, my nose was spotless.

Signed, Padfoot.

28th Feb

9:30pm

I've been asked to keep a secret, a big secret. Not as big as the furry little problem, but certainly problematic in itself.

And, as all problems seem to be at the moment, it's because of Quidditch.

Martin stormed off again tonight. Only this time I heard when was said and this time I followed him.

"Does Emmeline know you'll never fancy her back?" Coach asked Martin in a flat, ugly, monotone, not quietly enough for me not to hear as Martin flew over to stop the bludger from knocking me to the ground. As a result, I think it was more shock than anything, he froze and I had to duck swiftly to protect my teeth, the bludger almost blending in with the inky black of the sky.

"How-?" Martin choked. His face screwed up in confusion, hurt, "How dare you-?!" And then he was gone again in a red caped flurry.

"Martin?" Without thinking, I raced after him, catching his shoulder just before he could escape into the boys' changing rooms. "I'm not afraid to follow you in there." I said in response to the look that flickered through his eyes that told he was thinking of pulling away.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I don't know what it is." He gave me a hard look and slumped to the ground, resting his back against the door when he saw I wasn't lying. I joined him. "I presume this is about Coach?" He grunted.

"Yeah."

"And the things he's been saying?"

He gave me an unamused look and I held up my gloved hands.

"I'm sorry, he just gets to me, he really does."

"I don't get it; he's been calling you a girl? No offence, but is it really that bad?" He nodded. Then shook his head.

Then nodded again.

And then he let out a frustrated cry and buried his face in his hands.

"Can I trust you?" He was staring at me, eyes wide and worried. I paused for a moment, could he?

"Yes, yes of course you can."

"It gets to me because I'm gay."

He said it clearly enough, but I stared at him anyway, certain I'd misheard. I'd met a few gay wizards at Dad's work and Martin didn't really remind me of any of them.

"Really?" I asked and watched him pale, "No, it's not a problem. It doesn't bother me. I just didn't know." He looked far too surprised that, I don't know, I wasn't casting him away or something.

"I haven't told anyone yet, I probably shouldn't have said anything at all, I don't want anyone to know because . . . people get bullied for this, for being the way I am."

"It's not a disease, Martin."

He flushed.

"-For being gay. I was so comfortable where I was, you know, I have good friends and I'm liked enough to not be picked on or be at the centre of any disruptions. You know?"

"Yeah."

"But somehow he knew. And he's been dropping these little clues for everyone, just waiting to see who guesses first. All those things he's compared me to, well that's what I'd be called constantly if I didn't hide it." I tried to shake my head.

"Not everyone would be like that. I know most of Gryffindor wouldn't, we all love you to pieces and they'll all know it's none of their business whether you fancy girls or boys – although I can imagine some of the ladies will be quite disappointed." I finished with a grin but his face fell even further. "What?"

"Emmeline. You heard what Coach said."

"I don't get it?"

"She asked me out after practice a few weeks ago and I had to say no."

"Obviously."

"I told her I just didn't think we were right for each other but it's dawned on me that it's not her problem, it's me. I'm not right for anyone. I'm not right at all." I felt vaguely horrified at what he was saying. He was insane.

"Don't be ridiculous! Someone will come along and you'll be just as happy, if not happier than the rest of us. Merlin, we don't even have to think about who we are or who we want to be with now, we have a whole lifetime for that, a lifetime where people who were born to make our lives hell aren't living in the same castle!" He laughed quietly at that.

"I guess."

"There are loads of gay wizards and witches who work at the ministry with my mum and dad and they're perfectly happy. And I bet there are plenty more who just keep it to themselves and that's fine too – as long as you're not hurting."

"I'm not – when he's not around, or Emmeline, I feel so terrible!"

"But you'd feel the same way if, say, John asked you out and you didn't fancy him." He nodded. "Besides, Emmeline's a lovely girl. She's hardly got to resign herself for a life of solitude and too many cats." We both giggled at the thought.

"What about Coach though?" Martin bit his lip and I sighed.

"I've been nagging James to tell him to stop bullying everyone but he hasn't done anything yet."

"And you don't think he's going to."

"Oh no, he will. Eventually. But because at the moment coach hasn't me or him as a victim, I think he sees it as something someone else should take the responsibility for." I winced slightly at me words. I hate talking badly about James, especially to team mates; we're supposed to be a unit. Martin hummed. Then groaned. Then stood up in frustration. I heaved myself up and laid a hand on his arm. He looked at it.

"This doesn't change anything, Goldsburg. You hear me? You will always be the funny and ridiculously talented Gryffindor beater who'll end up captain providing Dumbledore doesn't misplace his marbles before the year is out. Nobody in the team will care." He flushed at my compliments then hung his head.

"You can't know that for certain."

"Oh, Martin. Three of the team are your best mates, one is your brother who treats you like an idol and James and I have loved you ever since you knocked out Malfoy in your very first game." He chuckled at that. "Why would it bother any of us? And Coach is just bang out of order, you know that, and we're going to do something to sort him out."

Martin nodded and drew himself up to his full height – he was still a bit shorter than me – a steely determination had replaced the despair in his eyes and I smiled at the sight.

"Thank you."

"It's more than okay. Are you going back to practice?"

"Nah, do you think you'll be okay without me?"

"Of course, we have mini-Goldsburg, haven't we?" Martin nodded again and I pulled him into another hug before grabbing my broom and beginning to walk away. "Oh!" I turned and called, "Before you start freaking out, I swear I won't tell a soul and if you need me I shouldn't be that hard to find!"

Naturally, I received a cold, hard look from Coach as I flew back onto the pitch. He didn't say anything though, I would probably have screamed at him if he did. And obviously James has been pestering me about what we were talking about. I wouldn't tell him. Not a soul. And if my diary has a soul I would be very, very worried.

It's really horrible, actually, I've always been able to tell James everything, always, and now I feel that there's some sort of rift between us because we're not sharing anything at the moment and every time I see him a feel a little bit guilty and a little bit angry. He still hasn't done anything about the quidditch situation.

"Why won't you tell me?!" James asked for the seemingly hundredth time as we flopped down on either side of Padfoot on the common room sofa.

"It's not my place to tell you!" Sirius looked between us, startled.

"Rubbish! You tell me everything. You're just trying to get back at me for not speaking to Mirfield yet!"

"If you had spoken to him and were any sort of decent captain then maybe he would have told you himself!" The words were out before I'd even thought about them, too sharp in the soft glow of the fire.

"Whoa! Easy Billie!" Sirius dropped a hand onto my knee and squeezed it and I twitched, turning an alarming beetroot with anger and embarrassment. Seriously, I thought I saw Charlotte and her friends at one of the tables in the corner. He removed his hand and glanced at James.

"Sorry, James." I muttered "I'm sorry, I don't mean it, but you need to say something. I can't tell you what Martin said because he told me not to tell anyone. Sorry." My brother nodded, not quite meeting my eyes. "I'm going to bed before I bite anyone else's head off." I grabbed Sirius' knee to pull myself up because two can play that game, let's just grab each other's knees – oh, okay great idea.

"Night." James said, which was more that I expected. Sirius waved.

See, the thing about this new secret . . . Despite what I told Martin, I'm not actually one hundred percent sure how people are going to react. There shouldn't be a problem within the team but if it all gets out I don't know what will happen. I can't imagine the Slytherins being too friendly about it but on the other hand, it might not bother them at all. Martin can't be the only person in the school who's gay but no-one else has admitted to it if they are. It's all one big, scary mess and quidditch is right at the centre of it. Again.

A/N: Let me know what you think! I promise to update as soon as I can!