Chapter 10

Quinn's POV
2 and a half years ago

Santana ditched me again, what a surprise. I can't believe she would rather spend time with Brittany than me. I mean, I'm her best friend for God's sake! How do you choose someone you met a couple of months ago over someone you've known for years? It's ridiculous.

I throw a pillow across the room, from where I'm laying down. Whatever, I couldn't care less. Brittany can have her.

The buzzing of my phone interrupts my inner ranting. I get up to get my phone out of my bag. Well, at least she cares enough to text me.

'Hey, Q. You're still on for tomorrow night?' – San

Ugh, can you believe her? If she wants to spend all of her time with Brittany I certainly won't be the one getting in the way. I flopped down on my bed again before replying her.

'No.' – Q

Ok, maybe that was a little cold, but she totally deserves it. She can't expect me to be all happy after she cancelled our plans. At least she could've had the decency to tell me before I got ready.

'You're mad. Why? :(' – San

Is it sad that I can totally picture her pouting right now? Thank God she's not here, because if she were I would forgive her in a heartbeat.

'I'm not mad.' – Q

'Then why aren't you coming to the party with me?' – San

'I have other plans. But you should ask you bff Brittany, I'm sure she'll go with you.' – Q

Low blow, I know. But I'm mad, so I'm allowed to being a bitch, right?

'Quinn, come on. Is this about today? I'm really sorry.' – San

'No. I told you, I have plans. I'll see you tomorrow at school. Bye.' – Q

After I sent that last text my phone started ringing, displaying Santana's name and picture on the screen. I press ignore and she calls again. After the third try she gets the hint and stops calling, but she sends me one last message.

'Ok, I'll see you tomorrow. Hopefully you'll be less pissed. I love you. :)' – San

The only way for me to not be pissed is if Brittany stays away from her, but knowing them that isn't going to happen anytime soon. They are always together, holding hands or walking down the hallways with their pinkies linked. It makes me want to punch them.

Ever since we meet Brittany she rubbed me the wrong way. Her personality used to annoy the hell out of me. She was always bouncing around and saying things that didn't make any sense. But I got used to it, sort of. And then she started spending more and more time with Santana. That pissed me off beyond belief. At first, I didn't know why. I thought it was because I wasn't used to share Santana, but I was far from that.

One day I was early for Cheerios practice, and when I entered the locker room I saw them making out against our lockers. I was shocked, and for some reason mad. They didn't notice I walked in so I turned around and went back to my car. That's when it hit me, I was jealous. And that jealousy could only mean that I liked Santana as more than friends.

After that realization I had a mini gay panic. I liked my best friend, and said best friend is a girl. My first thought was 'What will people think?' After thinking about it I got to the conclusion that it doesn't matter. It's not their business who I want to date or who I fall in love with. Living in a small town like Lima definitely makes things harder, but it's nothing I can't manage.

I decided to skip Cheerios practice and go home. I wasn't expecting to cry as much as I did. My eyes got really red and puffy. When Santana came to check on me, I told her I got an allergic reaction to something, and that's why I didn't go to practice. She didn't believe me, but she knew that pushing me was a bad idea. She stayed the night to make sure I was fine.

When I got to school the next day she was waiting for me at my locker. I was still pissed she ditched me, and I was determined to not forgive her, at least not that easily.

"Hey, Q. I brought you some coffee." She handed me a cup from the Lima Bean.

I was thinking about throwing it out, but I wasn't that mad. I knew that would hurt her feelings, so I accepted it.

"Thanks." I said while I opened my locker. I placed the cup inside and grabbed the book I needed for my first class.

"Don't be mad, Quinn. You know it breaks my heart when you're mad at me." She pouted.

"Good to know that your heart was fine when you canceled your plans with me." I slam my locker door shut.

"I'm really sorry, Quinn. Something came up and…" I don't let her finish.

"You know what, I don't give a fuck. Now, if you excuse me, I have to go to class." She was stunned. I only use that kind of language when I'm mad, and she knows it.

"Quinn." She tries to get my attention, but it's too early for me to deal with this shit, so I just ignore her and start walking to my first class.

I see her in our shared classes, but I ignore her. Honestly, this is killing me. Seeing her with that kicked puppy face makes my heart hurt, but it hurts even more knowing she prefers Brittany over me.

I'm on my way to glee club when someone grabs me from behind and drags me to an empty class room.

"What the hell?!" I say while I turn around to see who kidnapped me.

"I'm sorry. This was the only way to talk to you." She says while she locks the door and takes the key out.

"I don't want to talk to you." I say angrily, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Well, I do want to talk you, and you have to listen."

I scoff. "Whatever." I sit on the desk that is in front of the door, but in the other side of the room.

"I'm very sorry for canceling on you, Quinn. But I had to do it." She says, standing in front of me. She pauses, waiting for me to ask her why, but I just stare at her blankly. "You're not going to ask why?"

"I don't care."

"Well, that's a big fat lie, because if you didn't care you wouldn't be so pissed at me." She snapped.

Oh, she got me there.

"Santana, we're going to miss glee." I try to sound annoyed.

"This is more important. I need to tell you something." The tone of her voice softens.

"Just spit it out."

"Well, you're my best friend," I interrupt her.

"Ha!" I snicker. "That's a good one. Can I go now?"

"Quinn, please. This is important." She says, almost pleading. It reminds me of the time when she first told me she was gay.

I sigh. "I'm listening."

"As I was saying, you're my best friend, and you know everything about me. So, I want you to be the first to know that I'm officially off the market." She beams.

"What?" I can't believe what I'm hearing. This is not happening.

"I asked Brittany if she wanted to be my girlfriend."

This is a nightmare, it has to be. I need to wake up, and go back to reality where my best friend aka the girl I'm falling for is not dating Brittany Pierce.

"Oh. Umm… I'm happy for you, I guess." I was baffled.

"Thanks. That's why I had to cancel. She was leaving town for a week, and I couldn't let her go before telling her how I felt." She looks so happy.

"Yeah, I get it." I'm trying my best to not sound bitter, but it's really hard when you feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest.

"So, are you still mad?"

"No. I totally understand." I give her my best smile.

"I'm glad." She hugs me tightly. "I knew you would."

"Can we go to glee now?"

"Sure." She walks to the door and unlocks it, but before opening it she turns around. "You're my best friend, Quinn. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

Brittany and Santana have been dating for a couple months. I want to be happy for them, I really do, but it's hard. I envy Brittany because she can hug and kiss Santana whenever she wants, well, as long as they are far away from school. Santana is a little bit paranoid about that.

I've learned to accept Brittany; I think I even like her. It's not her fault that I didn't realize had feelings for Santana sooner. But even if had realized it earlier, I'm pretty sure I didn't have a chance with her. She sees me as her best friend and nothing more.

I tried to move one. I started dating Sam, and for a while I enjoyed it. But he wasn't Santana. Even though we've only kissed twice, no one can compare to the way she kisses.

People started talking about how I was dating a total nerd which made me lose some cool points so, for some reason, I thought it would be a great idea to cheat on him with Finn. Somehow Santana found out about that and convinced Sam to dump me and date her instead.

I could have told Sam that she was dating Brittany, but I honestly cared more for Santana than Sam, so I didn't say anything. Both our reputations were intact and that was the important thing. Our reputations were the only thing that mattered to us, Brittany never understood that.

One day I had an Epiphany, at least that's what I think it was. It was 7 am, my alarm went off but I was already awake. I turned it off but I didn't get up. I just stayed in bed staring at my ceiling. I started thinking about my life and my friends. I realized the only friends I had were Brittany and Santana. I do talk to other people, like the glee kids, but none of them are my friends. Even though now I'm nicer to them, they will always see me as a bitchy cheerio who might betray them at any second. I don't want to be like that anymore, that isn't me. I don't know when I became that person.

That day I quit the cheerios and gave Sue my uniform. To say she was pissed is an understatement, but I was sick of living like someone else.

I was at the locker room, clearing out my stuff when I heard footsteps. I turned around and saw a pissed Santana. I guess Sue already told her.

"What the fuck, Fabray?" She almost yelled.

"Hello to you too, San." I said, closing my now former locker.

"Why are you doing this?!" There was a mix of anger and frustration in her voice.

"I'm tired of living a lie, Santana." I said matter-of-factly.

She looked at me like I had grown another head. I put my bag on the bench, and sat next to it.

"What are you even talking about?"

"I hate the person I'm becoming. I'm tired of being Quinn Fabray, head Cheerio. I want to be just Quinn." I shrugged.

"You don't know what you're talking about. You'll get slushied, Quinn!"

"I know, and I'll deal with it. I just want to be happy."

"I thought you were happy." She sat next to me.

"I thought so too." I rested my head on her shoulder. "I just want to be myself."

"I know what you mean." She said sadly. "I'll miss you. Cheerios won't be the same without you."

"You still have Brittany." I tried to cheer her up.

"Yeah, but she isn't you." She kissed the top of my head. "I'll see you in glee." She got up and walked out of the room, leaving me a little bit confused.

I turned out that being just Quinn wasn't as bad as I thought. Granted, I got slushied a couple of times, but I earned the trust of my fellow glee clubbers. I'm friends with all of them, even Sam, who forgave me for cheating on him. I don't think I've ever been this happy before. The only thing missing is Santana.

Now Santana is the head cheerio. She acts like she loves it, but I know her better than that. She swears that she has what she always wanted, but I can tell she's not happy. She's still hiding who she is, and I can see how that's hurting Brittany. I've never been a fan of their relationship, but that doesn't mean I'll let her destroy it just because her reputation is more important. Brittany makes her happy and that's what matters to me.

Rachel invited the glee club to a reunion at her house, which translated to a party in her basement. And I saw my opportunity to talk to Santana.

I waited until she got three beers before I drag her to bathroom.

"What the hell are you doing, Q?" She said while I locked the door.

"I'm kidnapping you. We need to talk." I tried to sound as serious as possible.

"Ok. About?" She sat on the counter next to the sink.

"You have to quit the Cheerios."

"WHAT? You're drunk." She giggled.

"No, I'm not. I'm serious, Santana."

"What does it matter to you?"

"I hate to see you like this. You're hurting Britt and yourself." I sit on the edge of the bathtub. "You barely have friends, Santana."

"I have you, and Britt. That's all I need." She said defensively.

"That's what I used to think, but I realized that being friends with glee kids made me happy."

"Oh please. Are you telling me you actually enjoy being around those losers?"

"Yes, they're fun. You just need to give them a chance." She rolled her eyes.

"I don't care. I'm not quitting, Quinn." She looked me straight in the eye. "I can't." I could see fear and sorrow in her eyes.

"Why not?"

"People are already talking behind my back about me and Britt. I don't even want to think about what they'll say if I'm not a Cheerio."

"It doesn't matter if you're a Cheerio or not, people will still talk. But you'll have me and the glee club to defend you." I tried to reassure her.

"No. I can't handle it, Quinn. I just can't."

"Santana." I tried to stop her but she storms out of the bathroom.

She'll come around, I know she will.

It's been a while since Rachel's party and Santana is still a Cheerio. She's getting worse and I'm really worried about her. Lately she's been bitchier than usual and she even got into a fight with a Cheerio. I tried to talk to her about it but she ignored me. I honestly have no clue on how to help her.

We still spend our Friday nights together. She told me we needed a bonding day, just the two of us, so we decided on Fridays. We don't do anything special, we just hang out. Sometimes we watch movies, other times we just talk. Obviously Friday is my favorite day.

This Friday though, was totally different. When I opened the door instead of finding my favorite Latina I found a devastated one. Her eyes were puffy and red, and I could see the tear stains on her cheeks. She started crying as soon as I closed the door.

"San, what happened?" She was sobbing. I hold her and lead her to the couch.

I rubbed soothing circles on her, trying to calm her down. Seeing her like this was breaking my heart.

"Shh… it's going to be ok." After a while she calmed down.

"I… I broke up with Brittany." She says, her voice hoarse from all the crying.

"Oh, honey. Why?" I grab a napkin from the coffee table and hand it to her.

"She gave me an ultimatum." She says while wiping her tears with the napkin.

"Oh." I pause. "You love her, right?"

"I think so. But I can't give her what she wants." She says sadly.

"And what's that?"

"She wants me to come out." She sighs.

I can't believe that bitch asked her to do that. She knows how Santana is terrified of coming out.

"What did you say to her?"

"I told her I couldn't do that, not yet. I asked her to wait for me, but she said she was sick of sneaking around." Tears started pooling around her eyes.

"She's a fool. If I were her I would wait for you." I hug her tightly, and before breaking apart I give her a kiss on the forehead.

"You were right. I care too much about what other people will think or say, but I don't know how to stop, Q." She sounds so defeated.

"I know. It's not easy, but you can do it. And you can get Brittany back." I say confidently, trying to cheer her up.

It hurts to help her get back with a girl who isn't me, but it hurts even more seeing her so broken.

"Yeah, you're right. I'll quit Cheerios on Monday and I'll get my girl back." The gloom in her face disappeared; now all I can see is hope.

"That's the spirit!"

"Sorry for ruining our day." She gives me a sad smile.

"Don't worry about it."

On Monday, Santana quit the Cheerios and started being nice to the glee club kids. There were still some insults thrown at them, but not as mean as they used to be. It was too late, though. Brittany turned Santana down; she told her that she started dating Artie the day before, and she couldn't just dump him. Santana was so heart broken, but she stayed strong.

I was so mad at Brittany. I wanted to slap her for being a bitch. I mean, she started dating someone else after two days. Two fucking days! What the fuck is wrong with her? She didn't deserve Santana.

Now, I'm screwed. I should've told Santana how I felt about her before she started dating Brittany. Now that I have the guts, and opportunity, I can't ask her because she just broke up with her girlfriend, and I don't want to be a rebound? I'm pretty sure that would kill me.

AN: I'm back! ... sort of. I hope i didn't bore you guys with this chapter. Let me know what you think, good or bad, i can handle it.
As always i apologize for any mistakes. I appreciate every review/follow/fave.