10: Leaving Notes- Loki/Jane/Bucky
Loki has a message for Bucky. Bucky doesn't want to hear it. Jane is never going to get any work done.
My dearest James-
I hope this letter finds you in good health. Perhaps you are in your room reading, or with Steven training for the next alien invasion (which you'll trust I had no part in). Perhaps you are at this very moment in the shower, cleansing your fine body of your enemies' blood. Just thinking about it sets me aflame. I can't wait until the next time the three of us are together. Nothing excites me more than to see your face between Jane's silky legs, making her scream as I take you from behind. Let us reconvene tonight in my chambers. Stark has put in something called a Jacuzzi. I have yet to try it but it sounds most interesting. Do come find us soon.
All my love and devotion,
Loki
Dear fuckhead,
Stop teleporting your stupid sex fantasies into my shower. You'd better not be spying on me in here. And I've told you a thousand times to call me Bucky. If I have to say it again, I'm sewing that fat mouth of yours shut. With concrete.
Eat my ass,
Bucky
PS: You'd better not start another fake invasion to 'train' us, you smug douchebag.
Oh but darling, you have such a majestic first name. I love how it rolls off the tongue almost as much as I love your tongue. By the way, you missed a spot on your back.
It would be my pleasure,
Loki
PS: I make no promises.
Bucky has entered the chat.
Bucky: I'm killing Loki tonight. Just wanted to let you know.
Jane: What did he do this time?
Bucky: What didn't he do? Talk me out of it now or you're down one boyfriend.
Jane: He can shapeshift, he does that thing with his hips, he makes copies of himself. I have more if you need it.
Bucky: Nah, I'm good. Just watch it when you're in the shower. Fucker has eyes everywhere.
Jane: Don't I know it.
Loki, stop bothering Bucky. I just had to convince him not to stab you. Again. This is getting out of hand.
-Jane
Jane,
Is it my fault he has no sense of humor? I'm trying to keep this relationship exciting, and all I get in return is threatened with bodily harm. At the very least, he could make good on it.
Eternally yours,
Loki
You are such a freak.
-Jane
Pardon, but who was it who first asked me to spank her when she was late coming home from the lab? And who then proceeded to be late six times in a row to goad me on? For all that I take care of the two of you, I believe it's only fair that I am taken care of myself sometimes.
Thinking of you always in my bed,
Loki
You're a freak and a pervert.
;)
Only because I love you, my Jane.
Jane has entered the chat.
Bucky: But your highness, I'm am a mere servant. It would be indecent for me to take my clothes off for you… this is so fucking stupid.
Loki: Roleplay is a healthy part of any relationship, dearest. Now then, as your King, I command you to disrobe. Slowly. Describe each article of clothing as you remove it.
Jane: What did I walk into?
Loki: Patience Jane.
Bucky: Well, first I take off my shoes. Undo the laces. Peel off my socks.
Loki: Feet do very little for me. Go on.
Bucky: Okay, next comes my coat. I shed it slowly.
Jane: Getting hot in here. Lol
Loki: Yes…
Bucky: Then I take off the clown mask.
Loki: …
Jane: WTF? LOL!
Bucky: Now I remove the bloody animal pelt. Wow, that's a lot of blood.
Loki: James, are you taking this seriously?
Bucky: Bucky takes everything seriously. Now I take off the human skin suit and the horse dildo.
Jane: LMAO
Loki: If you think you can offend me, you are very wrong.
Bucky: And the red cape.
Jane: Uh-oh.
Loki: That's enough.
Bucky: What's wrong? Don't like red? It's such a great color. Really rolls my thunder if you catch my drift.
Loki: One more word and you will be punished.
Jane: Bucky, don't.
Bucky: Thor's got a sweet ass.
Jane: Oh my god...
Loki: That's it.
Bucky: Oh, what are you gonna do? Come over here and aoghafaldakfd ag;
Jane: Bucky? You okay?
Bucky: Helaegf
Jane: Loki, what are you doiakleghf;lkdsf
Jane, Bucky, and Loki have left the chat.
Dear Loki,
We are writing in regards to the events of last night. Up to and including, kidnapping us, tying us to your bed, and engaging us in various depraved sexual acts until we could no longer remember our own names. Due to the extreme and mindblowing nature of these acts, we must request a total cease and desist effective immediately. That is to say, you are no longer allowed under any circumstances to rock our worlds with the expectation of then having your world rocked.
We thank you for your time in considering our grievances and hope to come to an acceptable agreement soon.
Sincerely,
James Buchanan 'BUCKY' Barnes and Jane Foster
You two do realize this letter of yours means I'll be taking you both again tonight?
Then why don't you quit writing stupid notes and get over here before I have to hunt you down and stab you?
Asshole.
-Bucky
Jane,
I love it when he talks sexy.
-Loki