Mandy inquired about my sleep as we plodded through the near-empty school. "You seem pretty tired," she said, bumping my shoulder lightly. We had used the music room to "make melodic noise", as she likes to say. She sings. I play the piano for her. It sounds amazing. I keep telling her she ought to do something with that voice, like start a band or audition for X Factor or something wild like that. And she says she isn't that kind of girl.
"I just had some nightmares," I answered, nudging her shoulder back. "Nothing serious." Although they had terrified me then, in the middle of the night. It was almost like the last few times, but now the shadow-woman is dancing with a shadow-man. They're singing ominous and silent songs as they wisp around like wind in the dark. I felt like I was drowning in a sort of oblivion, both physically and emotionally. So many feelings at once…
She told me all about how she and Robert were getting together. Robert's a good guy, so I the only thing I question is what happened to Charlotte. "She dumped him because she's going on this overseas program this summer." She could barely contain the excitement in her voice. "She doesn't want to do the long-distance relationship thing. So Robert was free, and we went to 'The Thirstings' concert downtown, and he had a fake I.D. to get us in, and we were dancing like crazy and he kissed me, and now we're dating. He's super sweet. And I'm glad you know him, because if you're cool with him then I know he's ok." I just nod like I approve. Truth is, I don't know Robert that well. He just plays on the team sometimes.
Jake walks out of the science classroom, new glasses gripping the bridge of his nose. "I don't think these are helping any," he mutters under his breath, rubbing his forehead. "I've had them for like, a week now, and my head is still killing me. You, however, seem to be making magical recoveries." He gestures to my leg before his fingers return to massage his head again, brow furrowed.
And we split at the entrance, Jake and Mandy walking one way together and me crossing the street to head for the daycare. I didn't have to turn to see Nico slide into step beside me.
"I don't understand the book," he says into the silence. Not even the wind picks up today. Like the whole world is frozen. He sniffles and walks closer to me until I feel his arm brush mine with each step we take. "She's getting tired of being married? She doesn't know what to do with her life? She realizes she isn't really living or something? What's her problem? She starts to hate her kids, she starts to hate her husband… You just know she's gonna fall for that Robert dude, even though she's like eight years older than he is-"
"I think you're supposed to think that she's dissatisfied with the life she's living," I reply, trying to focus on his words and not on his touch. I stare at the ground, our two pairs of shoes walking slowly side-by-side, a little proud that I had suggested a book he took interest in. "She's getting restless. She feels penned in."
"But she's got a ton of stuff to do," he retorted somewhat irritably. "She has a fricking summer home right on the beach, she's a stay at home mom with maids and babysitters… I don't really get what her problem is."
This time he comes in the daycare with me. It seems a little dull inside for some reason: the lights don't seem as bright. The wall colour- a light blue- looks washed. Samantha waves at me and smiles at Nico while I sign. He puts on the blank face, and I can't help but chuckle at him. Like Samantha's going to bite because she can read his face or something. He glares at me a little. I can feel his eyes on the back of my head as we traverse the halls and arrive at the playroom. Joel is already in his coat, and runs to me with a huge smile on his little round face, arms outstretched. I lift him up high in the air and twirl him around a few times before nuzzling his hair fondly. He takes his place on my shoulders and waves goodbye to Samantha as we leave. "Can Nico come home with us, Son?" he asks on our way back.
"He asks because Garret is away on a business trip," I tell Nico as he once again closes the distance between us. "Isn't he, little guy?"
"I'll come over tonight," he answers after a few moments, "if you'll come back to the camp for the day after."
I can feel his eyes on me as he watches my expression. Joel exclaims that he really likes what Nico just said. And that's all I need to say yes.
I've ordered takeaway, because it's the cheapest thing open at night, and they've been giving us discounts for the past 3 years because we're regulars, apparently. And they're just super nice people. Joel entertains Nico (and therefore entertains himself as well) by singing and showing him his toy collection, which consists of a Lego man I made him forever ago, a stuffed rabbit he named Dorothy, and a stuffed mini-Rottweiler he named Toto. Once again, I was glad that Joel was there to be my speaker. I could just imagine the situation if he weren't there: awkward and silent and unnatural. Nico politely slid out of his shoes and left them by the door- although, there's no point because the carpet could use a vacuuming anyways. I turned the TV on and handed him the remote, but he left it on the kid's show it was on. I sat on the floor and watched them interact, like two new kids in a class. Nico was actually full-on smiling at Joel as he reenacted The Wizard of Oz using his few available actors. I sat and watched and felt blissfully at peace to see the two most important people to me being happy.
About twenty minutes later, Joel sat with his plate of Chinese food on the couch, using unskilled fingers to struggle stubbornly with chopsticks as he watched The Wizard of Oz. Nico and I were seated on the floor in front of the couch, mildly engrossed in the happenings of the show. But both Joel and I could probably recite the whole thing from memory. I was very aware of his knee inches from mine. Of how he would glance sideways at me every few minutes. And I would wonder what in the world it could mean. What it could all mean. This whole subconscious thing, the touching, the nervousness, the tension. Are all these things one-sided? Is it just me? I found it very unlikely that any of this was real. And because of this, I felt stupid thinking for even a second that it could be possible.
I was so deep in thought I almost missed his question. "I know you won't tell Will," he began in a low voice as he fiddled with his chopsticks. "But can you tell me how you beat him? In archery?"
"It's not all that crazy," I whispered under the movie, picking up a piece of fried tofu. "In fact, I thought it would be obvious. The archery you see in movies- you always see the arrow on the left side of the bow. First of all, this takes twice as long to get into place if you're right handed. If you're left handed, then this is perfect. But it's much easier to quickly get the arrow in place if you use the right side instead. It will be faster and have more force, because distance is speed by time, right? The faster you do it, the more likely you are to increase the force for a certain distance. It's also more precise than doing it the Hollywood way."
I stuffed the tofu in my face before I could elaborate and go into a talking spree. He looked a little surprised, and then a little confused like he was putting it together. Dorothy and the scarecrow ducked apples, and Joel's laughter filled the room. "How the heck did you figure this out?" he asked after a moment, interrupting the lion's song about courage.
"When I first got the bow, I just looked up how to use one. It's not the new kind with the fancy equipment attached. It's the old-fashioned string on a stick kind, you know? So I looked up pictures, read about ancient bowmanship or whatever. Not that difficult."
I wanted to pretend I didn't hear it, simply because it was too impossible that it could ever be said in relation to me. But I did hear it. "You're incredible."