Thanks to everyone who read, fav'd, alerted and most of all to Belco, guests "Scarlett" (things hopefully get cleared up in this chapter) and "Chloe" (thanks for bringing this to my attention, writing in a language that is not one's mother tongue has its complications) and Draegan88 for reviewing!

I hope everyone enjoys this new chapter :)

A Moment of Breathless Delight

If I had ever felt powerless, it was nothing compared to how acutely I felt it now.
The spell had not worked. In fact, nothing at all had happened; nothing good, nothing bad, simply nothing at all. For a few moments, I had thought that something had gone horribly wrong, had half expected Loki to come storming in in rage over what had happened - but nothing.

To think that I had been so careful about it - I did it, even slower, even more carefully, with my back-up set, cutting the palm of my other hand this time, but my attempt failed just as it had before. I would have liked to throw the stupid bowl against the wall, but I did not know how to explain the blood stains to the maids.

After an hour of pacing up and down my room, trying to figure out what had gone wrong, I decided that I had to seek advice. Not from Mother, obviously, since she had so strictly forbidden it, but from Loki, who I should have contacted anyway.

I had expected him to still be recovering from his injury, but I had clearly been wrong. The girl that was with him looked positively terrified when I walked in on them.
Not that they were doing anything too bad at the present state, but she was wrapped in his dark sheets, suggesting that they either had or were about to do something I did not want to see.

She was not even very pretty; in fact, she was rather round and also rather plain. Her hair was that weird shade between blonde and brown that always looked like it had not been washed for ages.

"I need to talk to you," I announced in Loki's direction. "Alone, if that can be arranged."

"Give me half an hour-"

"Now," I said. "Kindly ask your wench to leave."

The girl gasped in outrage, but did not dare to speak up. She turned her uncertain gaze to Loki, who merely pulled a face. It was quite interesting to see, how her anger was redirected from me to him in the blink of an eye.
Surely, she did not want to displease him, but it was not enough to inspire her loyalty. She gathered up the uppermost sheet round her and stomped out of the room, the door clanking shut behind her.

Loki groaned in frustration. "Was this necessary?"

"She was a bit below standard, don't you think?" I quipped. I could not help it. In this very moment, I should have strived to placate him, but finding this girl here bugged me so much that I could not keep quiet.
His features twisted in exasperation, but he did not seem very upset. Perhaps he, too, had realized that the girl was not worth keeping around.

"I've done something," I confessed. "You're not going to like it."

"Speak," he demanded. "Before I lose my patience."

I did not dare meet his eyes when I admitted what I had done. "I've tried the blood-merging spell."

His breath caught audibly while I held my own. I was full of horrible ideas today, was I not? "Why would you do that?"

I waved the question away - as if he did not understand. "You know why," I said. "Look, I've gathered your blood and your hair - because I thought if I'd just do it on my own-"

"Foolish girl."

I winced at his words. It felt like all those times in my childhood when he had told me to grow up - as if I was small and stupid and should grovel at his feet.

"How could you be so stupid?" he asked, reaching out and grabbing my arms. His fingers dug into my flesh painfully and I had to bite my lip not to cry out.

"That's not the point," I said. "I followed all the steps immaculately and it didn't work."

His eyebrows pulled together and he studied me carefully. "It didn't work?" he repeated. Smart as he was, I thought he would have figured that out by now.

"No," I said. "I did it twice, but... nothing happened! And it's supposed to! That's the thing about merging related blood, I should be able to do it on my own!"

He let go of me and started pacing himself, his back turned to me. His fingers that had gripped me so harshly now traced through his hair, pale skin in stark contrast to the blackness of it.
It was almost funny how similar Loki's reaction was to mine - his steps were hurried, indicating the same restlessness that I had felt. It came out because there was no obvious solution, no immediate plan to put in action and it made both of us nervous.

"Are you sure-"

"Yes," I interrupted, anticipating his question. "I did everything right."

Loki turned back to me. "So?" he prompted. "What is your conclusion?"

I scratched at the back of my neck. What was my conclusion? The spell could have been wrong, but I doubted it. I had tried other spells out of the same book and they had worked just fine.
The other possibility was that there was something wrong with the blood. That, of course, did not sit well with me at all. If it were not related, then it would obviously not work. But that was ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. Loki and I were siblings, even if he was more of a friend, even if he did not feel like a brother at all... Perhaps I should not have let the blood dry for so long. It was certainly my fault.

"I don't know," I admitted and he hissed slightly. "But I still want to do it."

Loki rolled his eyes at me. "Mother forbade it," he answered.

I pursed my lips as he turned again, walking towards the wide doors leading to the balcony. The curtains were pulled shut, though the late beams of sunlight shone through them, drenching the whole room in a green glow. It seemed to bathe Loki in green light, as well, and it made him look so wicked that his statement seemed even more ridiculous.
I knew exactly that Loki did not care about what our parents allowed or did not allow, at least he did not if he wanted something.

"Please, are you going to let that stop you?" I asked. "Stop us? Think of all the power we could harness-"

"What do you even want that power for?" Loki said, tiredly rubbing a hand over his face.

I smiled slightly. "Does it matter?" I shot back. "I just want it."

He nodded slowly and kept nodding, his gaze still fixed at whatever he could see through the drapes. I waited in silence since he was obviously deep in thought.
I could have said a thousand things to convince him - how much good such power could do, how he would be invincible he would be in battle, how he could finally teach Thor a much needed lesson - but I did not. There was no doubt in my mind that Loki would reach that conclusion all by himself.

Loki's fingers twisted around the fabric of the curtain. "Fine," he said. "Fine, we will do it."
I smiled brightly at him, but he did not match my grin when he turned around. "We can't do it here, who knows who will barge in here."

I nodded at once, ensuring him of my compliance. "Where, then?"

"Through the gardens," he said and I realized that he must have just checked the outside for that very reason. "There's a hole in the hedge and we'll land right in the woods. No one will see us there."

"What about Heimdall?" I asked. "If he tells Mother-"

Loki shook his head. "I learnt to shield myself from his view," he explained. "I can do the same for you. If the merge works, hiding will be even easier."

My mouth almost dropped open, but I caught myself in time. The possibility that Heimdall was watching my every move had always scared me and to now learn that their was a way to prevent this... my admiration for Loki grew even more in that moment. What a genius he was, to eliminate that threat to our plan so easily, as if it was barely worth mentioning.

He clearly did not want to hear my praise, though. "Get the book," he ordered. "Get the bowl. I will get a knife. Meet me in twenty minutes at the other side of the hedge."

I made it through the hedge in even less. Just a quarter of an hour after I had stepped out of Loki's chambers, I clambered through the plants, tearing my dress in the process. Luckily, my coat had been left behind in the hurry - that one was much more valuable than the robes I was wearing now.

Despite the fact that I was early, Loki was already waiting for me. He seemed to be buzzing with energy, which was unusual in itself - he was always so calm, so unreadable. Now, his muscles were tense but his face shone with excitement. He clutched one of his daggers - I recognized it instantly. Father had given it to him a few years ago for his birthday. Since then, no one had seen it again and Loki had always claimed that it was too valuable to be tarnished with unworthy blood.

"Did you get everything?" he asked.

Wordlessly, I held up the bowl and book to show him. He nodded is approval and waved for me to follow him. He had not lied - we had arrived right at the edge of the forest, but this clearly was not hidden enough for him.

Loki strode forward with intent and I had to scramble to keep up with him. It was not clear if he did have a destination or if he just pretended to have one, but he did not stop until he had found a perfect spot.

A great white ash was stretching to the skies in front of us, its roots spreading wide around us. Their mere strength had elevated the earth in some places, sunken it in others and created various holes and arches around the tree.
Even if someone followed us here - which I doubted - we would be able to hide all proof within seconds. If we chose the right spot, we might even be ale to hide ourselves.

"Have you hidden us already?" I asked while I put down the bowl.

"Yes," he said. "There's nothing standing in our way."

I smiled lightly at him and handed the book over. My spell had failed twice already, perhaps it was better to put the control in his hands instead.

He opened the book where I had marked it, but his eyes were still trained on me. "Are you sure?"

Without hesitation, I answered, "Yes."

He grinned in satisfaction and placed the opened book next to the bowl. I winced a little - the book was valuable and I did not want to get it bloody and dirty, but he did not leave me any tim

e to protest.

"First," Loki announced. "Your blood."

My hands had not properly stopped bleeding, but I held the right one out to him anyway. Our eyes met and he grabbed my hand, only to pull me closer. He caught me before I fell into him, one arm locked securely around my waist while the fingers of his other hand pushed gently at my robes.

"The closer taken from the heart, the more powerful the blood," he explained. His fingers reached bare skin and he could probably feel my heart beating violently beneath his touch.

"How do you know?" I asked hoarsely.

His lips twitched slightly. Instead of answering, he dragged the tip of his dagger along my collarbone. I had not even realized that he had reached for the blade and gasped at the sensation. He did not cut very deep - I had cut much deeper earlier that day - but it still stung.
It bled beautifully - my dress would be ruined, despite the fact that Loki had bent down to retrieve the bowl at once. I watched, breathing heavily as the bowl filled.

Loki cut himself in the same place, his gaze firmly locked with mine. Only when the bowl was filled did his eyes fall downwards and I allowed my own to stray. The light colour of his skin contrasted sharply with the red that welled out of it.
He stepped backwards and placed the bowl between us, holding his hands out to me. A spark of magic zipped through me as we touched and I took in a sharp breath at the sensation. Loki recited the spell firmly and I fell in tune.

It felt different this time. The power was sizzling between us, filling the air and filling me as well. I plucked a hair from my braid as Loki cut off a few strands of black hair.
When we added them, the potion puffed, a cloud of red smoke flowing over the edges and around our feet while Loki grabbed my hands again.

The moment that the merge took hold was unmistakable. I could feel him, almost like a second heartbeat within me. The sensation was dizzying, but rather than sick, I felt content, as if I had had just that little bit too much mead that made you talk and laugh more than you should.

Even though he had been standing right in front of me the whole time, he somehow felt more present now, more real. It was like I could feel him, touch him, taste him without even reaching out.

Loki's eyes still held mine captive and I saw it in them when he smiled at me. "We did it," he said.

A breathless giggle escaped my lips. "We did it," I repeated.

His grip on my hands tightened slightly. Loki's skin, usually so cool to the touch, seemed warm now, even heated. I looked down, only to see the muscles in his arms ripple as he pulled me closer. I kicked against the bowl in the process and it caused the red mist to swirl and rise up further, enveloping us.
Meanwhile, Loki had wrapped his arm around me again. The dagger long discarded, his now free fingers pushed back the hair from my face.

"I can feel you," he whispered. I swallowed hard while his bright green eyes searched my face. "And you're beautiful."

He leant forward and pressed his lips to mine. Every semblance of coherent thought was wiped from my mind, replaced by pure sensation. My fingers came to rest on his shoulders and while I felt like I might melt, he seemed solid, steadfast, safe.
His lips moved gently against mine and before I knew it, a small sound of delight had escaped me. In response, his grip on me tightened and he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. One of his hands tangled in my hair, cradling my head as he nibbled on my bottom lip.
I tried to press closer to him, though it felt like we were already fused together - to feel more of his warmth, more of his firm body against me. Just as my fingers rose to stroke his cheek, carefully, experimentally, he pulled away.

He stayed close to me for the shortest moment before he stepped back. "I'm sorry," he said and caused the world to crash down around me.
What had we done? What had I just done? My own brother... my fingers flew up to my lips which were slightly swollen and tender to the touch, proof of the horrifying sin we had just committed.

"Eirlys," Loki pleaded softly, starting forward.

I could not let him touch me, too great was the risk of succumbing to desire again. "Leave me alone," I snapped instead.
When I ran past him, he did not try to stop me.

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