Seeing A Memory

Every step closer towards where he knew Emrys lay was another step that made his heart break. The sorcerer had ended up dying alone, without anyone to tell him that he'd be missed and that a lot of people were alive today because of him. Arthur included. So as he pushed back the drape, he kept his eyes closed to prepare himself, there was no point denying that Emrys was dead. He could tell himself that everything was okay but in the end, he'd still have to face up to the fact that Emrys was gone. No one would ever have the chance to hear his goofy laugh or talk to him again.

As if sensing he needed someone, a tiny hand slipped into his own and he opened his eyes to look down and see Morgana at his side. There were tear stains down her cheeks but she kept an expressionless face, being strong for Arthur's sake. Inwardly thanking her, Arthur went to the side of the bed and finally looked at the cold body lying there. He didn't know what happened first. His legs giving way beneath him or the tears that were running down his cheeks. All he did know was that he was now knelt on the floor beside the bed and he couldn't stop the tears from flowing as he looked at Emrys. It almost looked like he was just sleeping.

For some reason, Emrys was facing his way with his hand outstretched, as if asking Arthur to take it. The Prince reached over and grasped the hand firmly, desperately wanting the sorcerer to squeeze it back. He couldn't explain why he was feeling what he was. Arthur had barely known the guy, the only time they had gotten on was when they'd been hiding out in the cave and he suspected Emrys' guards had been down due to how his body was feeling. Would he have acted like that if he was his usual strong self? He doubted it.

"He wasn't in any pain," Morgana told Arthur quietly and he looked in her direction to see she had climbed onto the bed. She now had the man's head in her lap, her tiny figures stroking his hair like a mother would and the sight brought more tears to his eyes. No one had dared approach him when he was alive, so why was it that when he was dead, they showed how much they cared and treated him like family? It wasn't fair. "Arthur," she got his attention again, "he was happy to see you one last time before he …" she couldn't seem to finish the sentence.

"How do you-"

"When he took me away from Camelot, it took a long time to get back to camp as he couldn't move us the entire distance in one go. On one of the breaks, he was smiling to himself and I asked him what was wrong. He said nothing was wrong and that he was-" she paused and smiled at Arthur "-he said he was happy that he'd met a prat that would protect someone like him against his Father. That was the last thing he said before he took us back to camp, after that, he didn't speak a word."

"You idiot," Arthur muttered to Emrys and gently ran his finger over the gloved palm. "I owed you my life. I wasn't about to let anything ... happen …" His voice trailed off when in the corner of his eye he saw a small bit of parchment on the floor beside him. Picking it up, he couldn't help but smile at the note, it seemed no matter what happened, Emrys always needed to read the note. Now he would never know who this Merlin guy was who apparently meant so much to him. Maybe in another lifetime he was Emrys' partner. "Can you give us a moment alone Morgana? I need to say … goodbye."

Morgana gently lay Emrys' head back down on the pillow and left them alone, he could hear her crying the moment she left. Arthur fought the urge to go and comfort her, instead he set the note on the bedside table like Emrys would have wanted. "I don't understand why I feel the things I do for you," Arthur admitted and his eyes fell to their joined hands. "I've spent my entire life around my knights and yet I feel closer to you then I do any of them. They see the Prince, you see … well apparently you see a prat." A small laugh left his lips and he sighed, what was the point in saying these things, Emrys couldn't hear him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here."

Arthur glanced at the sorcerer and then smiled, "I suppose you won't get mad if I take this off." Gently pulling the leather glove off his hand, Arthur turned it over to inspect the symbol he knew was there, except this one was different. Wondering whether he'd seen it wrong, he reached over and took off the glove on the other hand. That was the symbol he recognised. So why was this one different? The one he'd seen in the past had an open eye in the middle, this one had a closed eye, the spirals curling inwards rather than out. "I guess we'll never know what these were," Arthur commented and took his hand back into his own, "Thank you for saving me Emrys. I'll never forget-"

His words were lost when a familiar bright light surrounded them and he looked down to see the markings had moved onto his own skin. This time Emrys wasn't around to stop what was happening.

At first it was just light surrounding them, all of a sudden images began to appear and Arthur looked out into a room he didn't recognise. It was a small room, one that barely fit a table inside and a couple of seats, yet it had the feel of a home. He watched as a small boy ran into the house with what looked like a tiny bird in his hand and he looked around, eagerness on his face. "Mumma, I found an injured bird outside. We should look after it!" He yelled and got no response, a tiny cute frown appeared before he set the bird in a bowl that was on one of the surfaces. That's when he saw a small note on the table.

His point of view changed and it was like Arthur was the boy, staring down at the note he had read once himself. It was the note Emrys kept with him. Except this version was brand new and the ink was still wet, the departure of the Mother only just recent. So this was Merlin. He was looking back at the boy again who put the note in his pocket and went over to look down at the bird, his smile returned. Why did he recognise that smile? "Mumma will be back soon. Then we'll fix you and get you home. That sounds good right?" It was like he expected it to answer.

The images began to blur and Arthur blinked to find himself in the same place but it was dark outside and the boy was sat on one of the chairs with his knees brought to his chest. His eyes wide and fearful. Glancing around himself, he saw the bird was gone and there was still no sign of the Mother. What was going on? His question was answered as the door was kicked open and two large men entered the room, each with swords in their hands. For some reason they acted like the boy wasn't there. Instead they began searching through the cupboards and whenever they found something of value, they threw it into a bag.

It was only when they found a ring did Merlin react and he screamed, leaping from his seat to snatch it from the man's hand. Now seeing Merlin, the guy grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and pulled him from the ground. "Where did you come from?" He asked coldly and Merlin struggled against his hold, determination to get free evident. "Answer me boy."

"Let me go!"

"Hand me that ring first," the other man demanded and the little boy clutched the ring in his hand. He couldn't be more then Morgana's age and he was standing up to these two fully grown men? He was braver then Arthur had been at that age. "Give me the ring!"

Merlin screamed as they tried to rip it from his grasp and the men suddenly flew through the air as an invisible force hit them. The boy didn't wait, he ran from the home and outside. Only instead of seeing his village, all he could see was fire and people fighting. Arthur wished he could protect him as the men from before appeared and he was grabbed again, this time however they weren't going to be nice. Merlin was punched in the stomach and the pain was enough to make him drop the ring, the man scooped it up to put with his collection.

"I think this boy needs to be taught a lesson," one man said.

"I couldn't agree more." The larger of the two lifted Merlin's head from the ground and glared down at him, a sinister smile on his face as he brought out a small sharp knife. "This is for daring to fight back." Arthur felt his heart still as the knife was lifted to Merlin's face and the boy screamed in such pain as they sliced down the side of his face, it was only because his eyes were shut that he wasn't blinded from the wound. The man laughed as blood spilled down the scar and he went to do a matching one on the other side when someone tackled him, forcing him away from Merlin.

As the boy clutched his face, the woman who had saved him was thrown to the ground with the man now straddling her, a look of pure anger on his face. There wasn't time to stop him from picking up his sword and plunging it straight through her chest. Killing her instantly. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Merlin screamed now and the man turned to see him glaring at him. Arthur had never seen such anger come from one person, especially from someone so young and if he could he would have moved away. The man for once was sensible and moved away, slowly backing up along with the surrounding men.

Merlin moved over to where the woman lay and gently placed a hand on her face, staring down at the wide open eyes filled with pain. "Mumma?" He whispered quietly and Arthur's stomach turned. The woman had been his Mother? The one he'd been waiting for. "Mumma, please don't be dead. I'll be good. I promise. No more magic, they won't come back again. Mumma?"

"Looks like we have a mumma's boy here lads," one man dared to speak up and suddenly the world went quiet as the little boy got to his feet. A dark aura surrounded him and he didn't even move as the fire around him began to grow on the buildings, the bandits now all had swords in hand to defend themselves. "What's going on?"

Arthur watched as the boy with blood running down his face lifted his hand and pointed it towards the men, a second later all the fire from the village shot towards them with such speed there was no way to avoid it. The men hadn't stood a chance. When the fire had passed over them and vanished into the distance, all that was left were ashes. Ashes and the bodies of the village people littering the ground. Merlin on the other hand just stood there, his hand still extended and his body standing next to his dead mother.

He knew who the boy was by the way he looked now. There was no emotion on his face, the blood had turned his clothes dark and he held himself like he knew no one could hurt him. Merlin wasn't just anyone. He was the very person his Father feared the most. Merlin was Emrys.

The symbol moved back to the sorcerer's hand and Arthur was brought back to reality, the realisation that Emrys wasn't who he said he was fresh in his mind. It meant that no one truly knew who he was. Not even Arthur. He had suffered enough that he trusted no one, loved no one, never let anyone see what was beneath the surface and Arthur couldn't help but feel incredibly sad for him. What was it like to have a life so horrible that you couldn't be yourself?

Still clutching his hand, Arthur pushed himself up onto the bed so he was sat beside the body and gently put his free hand to his cheek. "I'm sorry for your loss. It wasn't right what happened to you." Running his finger down the scar he now knew had happened in the most horrific moment of his life, Arthur lowered his head and rested his forehead against the sorcerer's. "You didn't have to be like this you know? There are so many people around you that could support you, love you, be with you when you're sad or lonely. You didn't have to be Emrys." When no response came like expected, Arthur sighed and moved away. "I'll never forget you Merlin."

Without warning, the hand in his own grew all of a sudden very hot and Arthur ripped his hand away to see the symbol had its eye wide open. The eye glowed and Arthur watched as something moved beneath Merlin's skin on his arm, moving straight towards his hand. Taking a step away from the bed, he saw whatever it was reach the symbol and it became larger as it pushed against the center of the eye. Before Arthur could do anything, a small rock broke the skin and landed on the bed. The light that had been in the symbol now gone and it was like nothing had happened. Silence just followed.

Moving closer to the bed, he bent over and looked down at Merlin. Nothing happened. He remained dead and the tiny stone by his side looked like an ordinary stone. For some brief second he had hoped that it would be enough to bring the man back. Apparently not. "So much for miracles," Arthur muttered and turned to leave when a huge gasp of air being sucked in sounded behind him. Turning, he saw Merlin lying there and breathing heavily, his eyes wide open.

Springing into action, Arthur sat back down on the bed and cupped the man's face, staring down at him firmly. "Take deep breaths. In," he breathed in himself and he smiled when Merlin copied. "And out," both breathed out and Arthur tried to ignore the flutter in his stomach as Merlin grabbed his wrist with his bare hand. Not even noticing his gloves were off. "In again," he didn't bother to carry on after that since Merlin appeared to have calmed down and instead they just stared at one another. Barely believing what was going on. "Welcome back," he said softly.

Merlin smirked and gently caressed Arthur's wrist with his thumb like he had done back in Camelot, "Miss me?" He had no idea how much Arthur would have missed him.

"As if I'd miss you. My life was so much easier before you came into it." They both laughed quietly and only when the laughter died down did Arthur take a deep breath himself. Closing his eyes, Arthur tried to stop the relief from overwhelming him, but it was too late. The tears were running down his face a moment later and the fact Merlin pulled his head down against his chest so he had some support didn't help, especially when he felt fingers running through his hair. "Only an idiot would get himself killed," Arthur tried to lighten the mood.

"Only a prat would go against the King to protect a sorcerer," Merlin replied and Arthur laughed lightly through his tears. It was only when he saw the gloves resting on the bed beside Merlin did he realise that the symbols had stopped doing … whatever they did. Arthur still didn't fully understand that. "Are you alright?" Merlin asked.

"I'm meant to be the one who asks you that," he commented as he pushed himself up and wiped the tears away. "Why aren't your symbols working?"

Merlin glanced down at his hands, "Sometimes they do that. It's easier to just keep the gloves on incase they decide to act up." Arthur moved away a little as Merlin pushed himself up and he leant back against the now propped up pillows that Arthur was quick to help with. "What happened then? Last thing I remember was … well the whole dying thing."

"I guess all it took was a Prince to touch you to bring you back," Arthur teased.

"I know you think you're powerful and strong, but you're not that strong. How'd you manage it?" Merlin asked with curiosity and Arthur handed over the small stone by his side. The sorcerer studied it quietly for a few minutes and then put it on the bedside table, "I'll look at it later. At the moment it just looks like a stone to me."

"Well if anyone can figure out what it is, you can, Merlin."

THANK YOU for all the reviews. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Of course I brought Emrys back, but now that Arthur knows that he is called Merlin, I'll refer to him as that =]

R&R and keep reading ;)