Hey, I know it's been a long time, but I hope it's worth the wait. The next chapter probably won't take that long. I'm trying to finish it by the end of this week. Things are getting heated so I hope you like this. please leave a comment/review!

disclaimer: I do not own twilight or anything related to it.

Chapter 10

Boom.

I couldn't make myself close my eyes, caught in the mystery of his, but I wished with all I had in me that I could look away. The awareness I had of his body so close to mine… it scared me to death. I was willing myself to remember, to remember every single reason I had to hate him, but as I stared into his dark, dark orbs the convincing thoughts suddenly turned into unwanted dust in my brain. My breath caught in my throat and I felt my cheeks fill with blood. Every single one of my senses got stronger; his fast heartbeat was like a harsh undertone to my ears and his breathing sounded strained. My body stiffened when I felt the extra heat radiating from him. From Paul. Because that's who he was, but somehow every single memory, every single thought, everything got buried so deep into the moment that I couldn't, that I didn't want to dig it back up again.

"I…" my mind was so blank that nothing came out and I felt myself take a sharp intake of air. "Yes?" Paul murmured slowly, alluringly. Pressing his cinnamon breathe into my face while I inhaled it as if it was the first time I had ever tasted clean air. "I can't think," I managed to choke out. One of Paul's hands moved upwards, trailing the line from my arm to my chin, slowly. Why couldn't I close my eyes? He cupped my chin lightly and my skin prickled as if thousands of small needles were stabbing me. "I'm going to kiss you," he said so full of control that I wondered how he did it. And then… then he kissed me.

I didn't lose control like I thought I would. I didn't retreat either. I didn't do anything. I just let him press his soft lips from heaven onto mine. He moved closer to me, pressing his body flush against mine while I was stuck in the same position I had been in when it started. The rush of blood accelerated in my body, warming every single part of me. My mind went so blank that nothing remained, I was empty.

When he moved away, he stared at me with an astonished look, and I knew from the bottom of my heart that this look was nothing good. The longing I felt of his lips was so strong that I almost wanted to kiss him myself, but it was confusing. Everything was so confusing. "You don't want this, do you?" Paul asked with sad eyes yearning for my honesty and what else could I do than to give him just that? He deserved at least something good from me. Or maybe I should save him from a bad decision?

I shook my head to clear my mind and did my best to collect my thoughts. "Today Sam told me that he knew everything I told you," I whispered and finally managed to drag my eyes away from his. He took a soft step backwards, letting air come between us. "And it's so confusing because you keep breaking your promises," And it was confusing, but was I going to back down? Was I going to let someone play with me? In all my seventeen years of life I had always tried to stand on my own, because if you do so no one can get to you. That was my rule, the only thing that kept me driven through hard times where I wanted comfort, where I wanted someone close to me, where I wanted to cry forever. I remembered all the times I had switched families, and I'd always been thinking that it was just another three years or so and I would find new ones. And they would send me away. Get bored. It was of course how I planned it, so it truly never hurt. No one ever got attached and no one ever tried for more than one period of time. That was how I liked it. Now it was different. And it had been different with my last family, but they had been taken away from me and their kindness caused me more pain than happiness. Was I going let a lifetime of decisions and rules get blown away by one simple boy?

I stared at the soft sand beneath my feet for a few more seconds, making my decision. It was harder than I had ever imagined it to be, at least with him. And later I might have regretted my decision plenty of times, it did give me pain, but it also provided me with the greatest amount of hope. When I looked up into his twisted eyes I knew I was doing the right thing.

"It's self preservation, you know," a small smile tucked at the corners of his lips and I smiled at him too. "But you already know that," I gave him a nod and curled my hands into small fists behind my back, gripping my dress with my right hand. "And most importantly… a simple sorry won't change me," I said with force, because I really meant it. And I was doing as I always did when something touched me. I was becoming closed and unreachable, just like I usually was.

"Okay, I won't bother you anymore," Paul finally said and locked eyes with me one more time before I realized that I had to go. "Thank you," I whispered and quickly turned away to walk back to the bon- fire where the others were, silently wishing that he would call me back.

When I reached the others if our big group, I smiled. Because they were all smiling at me, ushering me to come stand with them as the fireworks would start any minute. And what else could I do?

"Melanie, come on! It's about to begin," Seth's excited voice reached me in a sort of daze, but I walked over to him nevertheless. He was standing next to Embry wearing a green tie which made his eyes stand out. I realized then, that the girl who got someone like Seth would be a lucky one and that I wanted to somehow get to know him. "Yeah," I murmured and fixated my eyes on the sky somewhere, not realizing that I had more than one pair of eyes on me. A cold chill blew through the beach and I shivered involuntarily. The sky was so black, so dark that the small sparkles that tried so carefully to lighten it up were trapped. It reminded me of a human being's mind. Empty, careless, but with emotions and ideas lightening it up. When we were small we wanted stars to come to us, we wanted them as sort of pets. When we were small, we didn't understand emotions. Not other's at least. Now however, we know that a star would burn you alive if you got close to it. Isn't that something that could happen with emotions?

I stared at the picture in my hands. It was old, crumpled by the sides, and with lines etched into it where I had hastily folded it whenever I needed it to fit somewhere. No one but me ever got to see it, this was my picture, my precious treasure. I was nearing six years old when I understood that it was important and that I had to keep it safe, no matter what. It entranced me… the faces that stared so happily at the camera, their clothes, their expressions… even their age. And the fact that they were two. This was a picture that I wanted to keep in my mind forever.

I was sixteen years old and I was meeting the new family yet again. Looking at the picture had become some sort of tradition… a reminder for who I was and how I was. The rules weren't going to change. They were staying, because this was my book of survival. That's what they had become and without them… I would be more than just a little lost.

This time had been different. The house was bigger, the people were richer. And I… I was still me. "You're going to love your room, it's right by the garden like Mrs. Kingsley told me you liked it." I gave Miss Miller a polite smile and shuddered at the thought of the dinner that she had mentioned earlier. She was a small woman with short blonde hair and expensive clothes. Dining with her would probably be the most uncomfortable thing I would have to go through there. I didn't like her. I wonder now if it was because of the sincerity in her voice, or the reasons she had for taking me in. There was something rather strange about it. My feet scraped the carpet floor as I walked into the room I would call my own for a while. It was as everything else in the house, big and beautiful. The walls were painted in a light brown color that reminded me of coffee with milk, and the huge bed that was placed in the middle of the room was covered in cream colored sheets. There was a door to my left with the words "bathroom" carved into it. I wondered how it looked like. A dark brown dresser was placed next to it and I felt myself walk over there and dropping my bag.

"It's great, thanks," I said in Miss Miller's direction and gave her another polite smile. She lingered by the door, staring at me for another few seconds before closing it behind her and walking out. It wasn't before I was sure she wasn't close to me anymore that I dared to take out the picture again. "Mom, dad… wish me luck," I whispered brushing a thump over their small faces before folding it together again and placing it in my bra.

I took Embry's hand when the fireworks started and not once did he try to move away. The coldness that all of a sudden had taken over my body seemed determined to stay and not even Embry's warm hand was giving me the warmth I needed. Everyone was cheering and wishing each other good luck, they were standing next to the people they loved, kissing the people they thought they belonged with. I wanted to believe that I was going to do the same thing one day, that my life was going to be like that and I guess I almost believed it.

"Embry? Can you hear that?" I asked squeezing his hand so tightly that he could feel me tremble next to him. Embry tensed when he heard my voice and he turned his head from the sky to look down at me. His brown chocolate eyes stared at me with fear and worry. I didn't understand that.

"Hear what?" he asked furrowing his brows. I felt myself weaken just a little and closed my eyes quickly. The sound that was throbbing in my ears was so clear and so frightening that I knew I wasn't the only one hearing it. That wouldn't be possible. "The howling, Embry, that horrible howling," And there it was, penetrating my brain with it's loud noises. It felt like pain, and I knew that in all reality… that was exactly what it was. "Melanie… I can't hear anything, the fireworks are so loud, are you okay?" Embry asked me dragging me closer to his body, taking my other hand in his. The surprised look on his face turned into concern so quickly that I feared what he saw.

"Melanie, you're freezing!" he yelled and immediately tried to warm me up with his body, pressing it into me. But even though I could feel that he was warm, there was no warmth seeping over to me. "It isn't helping," I whispered into his embrace, and he stopped moving immediately. Pushing myself out of his grip, I moved away from him trying to walk over to Sam. I felt exhausted. My limbs were barely able to move and a tired glaze covered my eyes. All of a sudden I had to hold onto my consciousness with so much strength that I knew it wasn't enough. "Sam!" Embry yelled next to me, gripping my shoulders tightly and staring into my eyes. When Sam didn't react, holding Emily close and whispering words into her ear Embry yelled again. "Sam!" the panic painting his voice must have hit a cord, because Sam turned around so quickly that I almost didn't get it. He wasn't the only one though, the others were watching too…

I barely noticed it when another pair of hands touched me, my forehead, by hands, my pulse. It felt like a faint touch of a feather, so soft that my skin struggled to take up the touch. The air left my lungs with a strong push and I fought hard to take in another breathe of air, meanwhile my body was getting colder and the trembling worse. "…my God…happened? Take … inside... Carlisle… Paul" the words were muffled, quiet and cut. A dark fog covered my eyes and I blinked rapidly trying to see what was going on around me, but it wouldn't budge. At the mention of Paul's name I stiffened even more, a pang of burning pain took a hold of my heart and I winced loudly. Something was happening to me, and whatever it was… I didn't like it. Sam gripped my waist tightly, carrying most of my weight and guided me towards the house, but before I managed to tell my limbs to move, before I was able to make the ever stronger fog to get out of my eyes I shut down. My body wasn't cooperating anymore, I was fainting, losing the last connection to my consciousness in one single step, and all of a sudden… it all went black.

"NO!" I screamed as the tearing sound eloped in my ears and blood dripped slowly down her face. I wanted to die. Why had this happened to me? I didn't even know her, much less did I care about her, yet I was ready to change places with her. I wanted to protect her, something told me it was my job, but what did I have to offer? The pale person turned violently from her neck where the blood was running furiously down her body, soaking her clothes in crimson red.

It was a vampire.

"NO! STOP!" I cried out even louder feeling myself go weak. The only sound I managed to get out of the creature was a sneer, so vicious I should have screamed in fear. Yet I did not. "Get away from her… now." I said almost without sound. The vampire didn't answer, he just went back to finish his meal. I wanted to kill him, to rip him apart limp by limb and set fire on him. I wanted him to hurt. And I did nothing, I wasn't able to, I was too fragile, too human. I knew that he could very easily take me when he was done with the girl, but I still couldn't make myself move.

He came closer, walking slowly towards me while his eyes connected with mine, a warm comforting spark in them. "Don't worry, I'll be quick my love." A shiver went through my body when he called me my love and a sour taste developed in my mouth. He was standing only inches away from me, I didn't know how he did it so fast, then, he lifted his hand removing my soft, dark waves slowly from my neck. I closed my eyes as the fear attacked me, moving into every cell in my body forcing my heart to race off. I stopped breathing when I felt the cold lips on my neck and goose bumps appeared on my skin from the cold and I still didn't move. " Good bye my love," He said just before he was going to dig his teeth into my soft skin. "NO!" I suddenly exclaimed realizing what was actually happening to me, what he was doing! But it was too late, he was there readying himself to break through my skin, to find my vein and suck out every single drop of blood there was.

I was crying in his grip, tears running smoothly down my face in both anger and sadness. After all these years this was how I was going to die? A meal?

"Now, now darling… don't cry," the vampire suddenly whispered, removing his teeth from my neck for a while. My breath hitched in my throat and a frightened gasp left my lips when he trailed a cold line down my neck with his finger. Goosebumps appeared on my skin and my eyes opened wide at the sudden touch. "Maybe…" he took in another breathe of air sighing at the smell of my blood. "Maybe, I'll turn you…" he whispered seductively trailing his cold lips along my jaw. My body started to tremble so bad I had trouble seeing clearly, what did he mean... turn me? His head moved upwards letting his face caress mine. His forehead leant onto my forehead and he carefully moved my body closer to his. "Please be patient, my love," he breathed against my lips letting me taste him. His eyes were closed, but I couldn't do that, I couldn't look away. He was so close, so very close.

"Don't be afraid… it will all be okay," he mumbled again and opened his eyes. I almost screamed in violent fear when my wide open eyes connected with his. They were red. Blood swirling around in his eyes, fresh and vibrant. I was gasping for air like a fish over water and the vampire smiled. My palms were sweating my eyes were getting more and more focused and my entire body was going rigid. When I heard the vampire move an inch or so away from me, surprise written in his flowing blood red eyes, I knew I wasn't just having a panic attack. This was something else completely. "What are you?" he sneered in my direction his posture suddenly changing to a predators. But before he got to do anything… before I had the possibility to answer, I was swept away with the wind.

Thanks for reading!

-Emma