Day one
"Hi Merlin, my name is Morgause and I'll be your psychiatrist" I presented myself "I know this isn't easy, but if you cooperate we will be able to".
"Easy... MY OWN FAMILY SENT ME TO A MAD HOUSE! OF COURSEE IT ISN'T EASY AT ALL!" it took all my years of practice not to jump at her sudden yelling. From what I've heard from my half-sister Morgana, Merlin is sweet, kind and gentle... not this angry.
"Merlin..."
"I won't talk, they might be forcing me to be here. But I won't give them the satisfaction of talking" she cut me off.
That's how we spent the rest of the session, me trying to make her talk and she ignores me completely.
Day two
"Merlin, why don't you tell me how it all began?" I asked her gently, trying not to cause another scene like yesterday. She just kept on looking through the window and didn't answer.
Day three
"I've heard you got visits today, Arthur. Isn't that good?" I began this time.
"Yeah, good..." she scoffed furiously "Good to know that he stole what I fought so hard to build. It's incredible to know that the man you loved took over your business, and with the stupid excuse of just being temporary until I get better".
"Loved? You don't love him anymore?" I questioned, motivated by seeing that the silent treatment was broken.
But I talked too soon, she just returned to her silence and deviated her eyes away from me. But this time she had an expressionless look that scared me... as if she was shutting herself down, not caring about anything so it doesn't hurt her.
Day ten
"Uther came earlier today, what did he want?" I asked her, getting a bit annoyed at how difficult it has become to break her. For the last seven days she hasn't spoken a word... at all. Not only to me, but to everyone else as well.
"He came to tell me that he considers me a daughter to him, even if there is no blood relation" she answered, making me smile. Because that's good, for her to know that she has people that care about her might warm her a bit... at least enough for her to feel something. A low chuckle sent shivers down my spine, it was evil and cold, just like the expression in Merlin's face when she finally stopped looking through the window and back at me "I told me to go to hell and never come back. You should have seen his face... it was hilarious!".
This is going bad... very fast.
Day fifteen
"Gwaine came today" surprisingly, it was Merlin the one that spoke first this time "To tell me how sorry he was that things ended up like this... and that he terminated his engagement with Percival" there was no emotion, not in her voice and especially not in her face. It was as if I was talking with a doll "I was happy, happy to see that the man who caused all this... who sentenced me to this hell was paying by loosing the thing he loved the most. Then I was ashamed" I waited patiently for her to continue, this was the most I've heard her talk in all our sessions "Gwaine is my best-friend, he's been there for me since the beginning. He cares and loves me, he kept my secret even if it meant that his relationship was suffering because of it. I love Gwaine, and here I am wishing he never gets married to the man of his life... I told him to stop being silly and fix things with Percival. But wait until I get better and can assist" her gaze falls upon me "I want to get better, Morgause. I need your help for that".
"I am here to help, I've always been here for you Merlin" I replied, my voice even. I was so happy to see that I haven't lost her completely.
"It all began when my father left us" she began, and I for once, was happy to listen to what she had to say.
Day thirty
"Arthur visited me yesterday, after our session" by now I am no longer surprised when it's Merlin the one that starts the conversation. I finally got to meet the kind, gentle and loving Merlin that Morgana told me so much about "He told me that as soon as I get out of here he'll marry me" she confessed with a small smile and delicate blush.
"That's amazing! You must be very happy" I replied.
"I am. I was afraid that me being here and him being outside might change things... that he might stop loving me and find someone better. I am happy to see he still loves me" she told me softly, almost a whisper "I want to get better fast Morgause, I want to marry Arthur soon".
"We are getting there Merlin, step by step" I calmed her down.
Day forty
"You've been very quiet this evening" I commented "Something you want to share?"
"Percival came today... he wanted to apologize" she confessed to me "What do I do?" she asked me, desperation and doubt crystal clear in her eyes.
"What do you want to do?" I asked her back "It's not my decision to make. Are you ready to give up all that rage inside you? To finally forgive him and move on?"
"I can't forget what he did to me" she complained.
"I've never said anything about forgetting. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that you forget what they did to you. Especially since you are not doing it for them, but for yourself".
"I don't think I am ready... but I want to be" she finally said after a while.
"That's the first step" I replied happy because of her great progress "Now, let me help you out"
Day forty-eight
"I've heard that you requested Percival to come today, would you like to share what it was about?" I questioned her.
"I've finally forgiven him" she answered, with a proud smile.
"That's incredible Merlin" I congratulated her "Have you forgiven yourself yet?"
"I'm getting there" she replied with a small, tired smile.
"Good"
Day sixty
"Are you ready Merlin?" I asked her. This is always the most difficult part of my job: helping people back on their feet to just let them go away when they are better.
"I don't know... but I have Arthur by my side, he'll help me out if I need it" she answered "Will you... will you come to the wedding?"
"I... of course, I will" I assured her, surprised by the invitation "Remember that you still will need sessions of therapy, at least twice a month" I reminded her "But... I am happy for you Merlin, you deserve to be happy.
"Thank you, Morgause. I... I am finally completely happy"