Sorry I couldn't update soon enough. I had a case of writers block. But I'm back now...But it would help if more people updated. It's always nice to hear what you think.
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I inwardly patted my back for being so understanding and generous and forgiving Inuyasha. Now all I had to do is talk to him and officially forgive him. Oh and don't forget I have to release him too. I won't back down form that I will not tie Inuyasha down just for my own sake.
(A night without you)
(Normal POV)
Once the last bell rang all the students knew that they were finally free. Both Inuyasha and Kagome were anxious to get to the gates to see each other. Once they heard the bell they threw their books inside their bags and headed straight for the gate.
(Kagome's POV)
I was just about to open the doors and head to the gate when I see the last person I would want to see right now...Houjo.
"Hey Higurashi, I heard that you and Inuyasha are over how about we go to a movie today and talk about us. Now that you don't have to deal with you arranged marriage we can finally be together!" oh did I not want to deal with this right now. Anyways I couldn't speak about anything between Inuyasha and me because I have to talk to him first. So I'll do what I always wanted to do… give Houjo I piece of my mind.
"You know Houjo there's three things I want to tell you right now...No make that four. 1) You shouldn't always believe what people say. It might not be true. 2) There was never an 'us' in the past. 3) There will never be an 'us' in the future. and4) I don't have the patience to deal with your shit right now Inuyasha is waiting for me at the gate to go to the park. So don't get into people's business unless it fucking concerns you... " when I saw him about to open his mouth, I raised a finger and cut him off.
"Houjo get this through your thick and empty skull. There wasn't an 'us' back then, now, or ever especially after what you tried to do to me back then…. So whatever happens to me is not your concern now leave me the hell alone asshole! " I left a dumbfounded Houjo and ran to the gates.
Man did that fell good. No wonder Inuyasha never thinks twice before insulting someone especially when he really doesn't like then. It takes a look of stress off your shoulders.
My thoughts were cut short when I saw Inuyasha leaning on the gate. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face. When he saw me he smiled back. Between lunch time and right now his expression had changed meaning one thing…
"You fell asleep in class right?"I asked as soon as I was close enough for him to hear me. Now that his ears where gone his hearing was still good but they were weaker now.
Once Inuyasha heard me he started laughing and then looked a little guilty for being found out. "Yeah I mean that old man if so fucking boring and I didn't sleep at all last night so you can't blame me."
I tried really hard to keep a straight face but was unsuccessful and couldn't suppress the small giggle from escaping my mouth. I know I should be angry at him for sleeping in class but then again this is why he's Inuyasha that's just the guy he is. The guy I fell in love with better said hanyou I fell in love with…
After a few more laughs and a few minutes of silence I spoke "Inuyasha… lets go to the park we need to talk and I need to do something I'm sure Hikaru told you …"before I could finish Inuyasha cut me off.
"If this is about you releasing me let's start with you telling me what that mean! What does 'release' mean?" once he was done I nodded and started walking motioning to him that we would talk there. When he didn't follow I turned around to find him looking at me.
"Well you want to see what release means right? Let's go to the park and you'll find out. You don't really expect me to talk with you about what happened that day right here right where everyone can hear... follow me."
When I started walking again this time I heard Inuyasha steps behind me so I didn't turn around until we got to the park. That's when I turned around and looked at him.
"Come on lets go I want to find out what release means plus I want to see Mrs. h and see what's she cooking."
(Inuyasha's POV)
Oh shit…. I mentally cursed when I saw Kagome's face turn from happy to serious to depressed. That's right you jackass you don't know if Kagome will allow you to return to her home now that you hurt her! You wouldn't want to return and hurt her more would you? No! You wouldn't so I guess you better find a job and a place to stay. Since the well won't open up for a while now… I decided to worry about that when they finished their talk and started walking.
Finally I stopped and looked back at Kagome and said a simple. "We're here." I noticed Kagome looking around I guessed it was to check if there were people nearby that might hear their conversation.
"Don't worry the closest human to us is about 56 feet from here. "When I saw Kagome's confused looked I quickly added. "I know how you don't like people listing to our normal conversations…so I thought you definitely didn't want anyone remotely close when we have this one…"
I saw Kagome nod her agreement yet she still seemed fairly surprised about what I did … I can't even think of a word that describes the look she has on her face of pure and otter astonishment! (I guess she never thought I paid much attention to things she liked and things she doesn't) after a few minutes of an awkward silence between us I spoke. "Kagome I-) but couldn't say anything because she cut in.
"No, Inuyasha, its fine …I'm thankful that you did what you did back then...really" internally I was…I-I can't even think of a word that describes how I feel right now! Relief, disappointment, astonishment, frustrated, betrayed, hurt, and tremendously heartbroken and confused …the list goes on. My face must have been showing how I felt because once she looked up at me she started explaining why.
"True when you told me this I was pretty confused ... and well also hurt. I didn't want to see you because I wanted time to cool off and think things through. I didn't want to make a decision that would be either unfair to you, me or my family..."Kagome took a deep breath to continue on what she was saying but before she said anything I wanted to ask her something.
"Kagome, I understand when you said that you didn't want to make a decision that would be unfair to you or me but what does your family have to do with this?"Don't get me wrong over the time I've been living with the Higurashi I've come to like them a lot and consider them like a family...The one I never had but I still can't see how they come in the picture.
Kagome groan out of frustration. "Inuyasha, the reason why it would be unfair for them if I made the wrong choose would be because to them you are family. Sota many times has called you his oni-chan and you know he always meant it. Mom always saw you as the son she never had and grandpa sees you as his grandson even if it's hard for him to show it he loves you very much. Just this morning I asked them how they would feel if they were to never see you again of if you stopped living with us and they latterly broke down crying. They all love you and if I were to decide to not let you live with us anymore it wouldn't be fair to them if they love you so much…and I'm not willing to let my family suffer because of my emotions. Plus like I already said when I thought about it enough it seemed like you did the right thing."
I was speechless …I mean what can I say Kagome just said that she thought of not letting go me back to the shrine and then said that if that happened her ...Well our family would be crushed in a way I'm happy that they care so much about me but also hurt that I might have hurt Kagome so much that she thought I might have needed to leave.
"Kagome I want to explain to you why I did what I did yesterday. I know I hurt you and I have no excuse for that since I promised to be the one to protect you from people that want to hurt you and I did just that. I want you to know that I'm truly sorry about the tear you had to shed that day." I took a deep breath and looked at her straight in the eyes.
"Remember when coach was asking me why I believe I was so determined to save you and win the competition….and I told him that I was the kind of man that's didn't like the fiancé's kissing anyone else but themselves…?"
"Flash back Inuyasha's POV"
I took a deep breath and said "true some men let their fiancés kiss any bastard that passes in front of them but not me. I won't even allow any men to touch her even less kiss her." Coach was opening his mouth to say something but I cut him off. "You're going to ask why, aren't you old bastard?" coach just nodded giving him and evil smile.
I took a really, really deep breath and said "those men obviously don't care about their future brides unlike me. I love my fiancé….I – I love...Kagome that's why I won't allow anyone touching her even less kissing her. I won't tolerate anyone treating her like an object." When I finished giving the old man his desired answer I felt a wave of relief was over me. It was because I had finally admitted my feelings for Kagome but something was bothering me that's right you dumbass truthfully you didn't really say your feelings for Kagome this is all an act remember... she won't believe this ..She thinks it's fake.
When I look at Kagome she's at the verge of tears and I can't help but feel as if it's my fault she's crying … the woman I have loved for almost 4 years. I have just confessed my feelings for her in front of the whole school and she thinks I'm just faking all of this. Does she feel used? Hurt? She's probably crying because she thinks this is all a lie that I have never loved her. Then something snaps me out of my thoughts I feel Kagome pulling me down probably to kiss me. Of course I'm more than ready to pull her up to me and kiss her with all my might when I remember when she asked me what I wanted as a prize and just to annoy her I said a kiss.
In my mind Kagome was forcing herself to kiss me because one that the official prize the competition and because when she had asked me what I wanted as a prize I had said a kiss. I felt even worse when I saw some tears run down her face. With that I just snapped just when our lips were centimeters apart I pushed her away and shook my hand trying to snap out of it and do the right thing.."Kagome...What are you-?"I was asking her when coach interrupted me.
"She's giving you the price for wining a kiss, Inuyasha. So receive it already this is what you fought for. The princess's kiss of course." Coach said. But in my mind I was screaming that it was wrong that I was acting like those guys that just wanted to win to get to use her for their own pleasure not thinking about how she felt about this…
"No I won't accept the kiss…" I quietly told coach looking at me. "NOW FOR ALL OF YOU THE COMPATITIONS ARE OVER YOU MAY GO HOME NOW." He yelled at the seniors. Once he said that they all started leaving the playground probably afraid I might beat them if they didn't.
After every left I looked at Kagome and said "The engagement is over…" once I said that I left. Leaving behind the love of my life exactly what I said I would never do a few minutes ago.
"End of flashback"
"In my mind I was just like all those bastards I always said I would protect you from. I just couldn't stay and look at you knowing that I was using you the same way all the others were planning to. That instead of protecting you I used you as well." I stopped to see if Kagome had any comments on anything I said and when she said nothing I continued.
"When I said the engagement was over I thought that I would be freeing you from myself saving you from me. I thought that I would be the only one hurting. When I ran away I wanted to jump down the well and feed myself to the first demon I saw... after getting my anger out and killing I few first..."I smiled when I heard Kagome laugh at that.
"But then I thought that I couldn't just leave you all by yourself after I saw how many people where just waiting for a chance to get close to you and use you. When Hikaru found me sulking in this tree I decided that I had to talk to you and do whatever you decided was right…after of course apologizing for leaving you alone back then. "
After I was done explaining, why I had told her that the engagement was over. I opened my eyes just realizing that I had closed then while I was talking I took a deep breath and looked down at Kagome. "That's the whole story Kagome ..." after I told her everything I was planning on turning around and giving her some time to think about what I had told her. But just as I turned around and took my first step I felt a pull on my uniform jacket. When I turned I saw that it was Kagome the one that was holding onto me when I tried to look at her eyes it seemed impossible since her bangs where covering her eyes.
"Ka-Kagome, are you, ok?" was all a managed to say I didn't think shed try to stop me from leaving after I told her that I was using her. That I had betrayed her but then again Kagome always seemed to surprise with everything she did.
"So now, what? You're just planning on running away and not mending the wounds you inflicted on me!"She had whispered so only I can hear even though we are alone right now.
"Of course not! You know I'm not that type of person I don't run away from my problems I always confront then. You of all people should know that! " I yelled then regretting it I shouldn't be the one yelling right now I'm the one that hurt her she has every right in the world to yell at and to even sit me into hell.
"Sorry... I shouldn't have yelled at you. You have every right to be angry and even doubt me." I said trying to sound as calm as possible. But Kagome just shook her hand and began to speak never meeting my gaze.
"No, its fine I spend years by your side…what it's going to be four years soon that I have known you, I shouldn't have doubted you as I did. I feel like I should thank you for what you did for me you felt like you were a danger for me and you tried to save me from yourself…but I can't.." By then she had tears in her eyes and she barely choked out what she wanted to say. "I felt hurt Inuyasha back then I felt like you were breaking your promise to me saying that you would stop anything from hurting me that you would protect me from everything even if it cost you your life…Inuyasha I –I "she shook her head and mouthed a silent never mind.
"Kagome I'm truly sorry for how I made you feel. I never meant to hurt you in my mind I was doing the right thing…I still believe I am. I think it's wrong to fake something that you might actually have some day with someone you truly love." I took a deep breath trying to control my anger when I thought of some filthy human touching my innocent Kagome.
"You deserve to have a normal relationship with someone not a made up one. So please forgive me for hurting you but I'm not sorry for the decision I took cause I believe you deserve a little happiness in your life."I looked at Kagome that by now had stopped resisting meeting my gaze.
"Inuyasha, by now you should know that you're the most important person in my life. I forgive you ...no there is nothing to forgive true I was deeply hurt still am actually and I'm not going to act like if everything was ok like if I'm not hurting . But I also believe do did the right thing even if it ended up hurting me." As she said that she walked closer to me and raise her hand I couldn't help but flinch thinking she was going to try and hit m. since I didn't feel anything I opened my eyes and saw her hands on my bead the ones that gave her little control over me.
My eyes widen as I realized what she was about to do "I'm going to free you now." before I could do anything to stop her she had already pulled the beads breaking the necklace. She took a few steps back letting us have some space but I couldn't look at her right now my eyes were glued to the bead, that had once been the only thing that connected us, scatter all over the floor. When, Kagome started to speak again a tore my eyes away from the bead to look at her.
"Now you are completely free Inuyasha no matter how many times I say sit to you nothing will happen, you don't have to listen to me now, you have no obligation to stay by my side now. You are free Inuyasha…free from me" she started to walk away heading home when she ten feet away from me she yelled not turning around. "I told you that you were free you can do whatever you desire go wherever you want but remember that the doors of the Higurashi shrine will always be opened for you not only that but that no matter what you decide to do you have a family that will welcome you openheartedly and …. "
"You are still the most important person to me."The last thing I heard was barely above a whisper and I had to strain myself to hear it. Once that was said she started to run home never looking back but the smell of tears was strong and it got to me anyways I dint need to see her face to know that she was crying.
"Hours later Kagome's POV"
When I had gotten home from the park after talking to Inuyasha I had felt like dying...I felt like running back to the park hoping Inuyasha was still there and putting the bead back on and beg him to stay by my side and never leave again but I couldn't. the shrine was empty today everyone seemed to have gone out today then again this was a Friday and we had no school for a whole week since most of the students Inuyasha had beat up needed time to heal and had asked for a few day to rest so the school decided to just call a holiday since most of the school would not have showed up anyways. Sota had decided to go camping with a few friends and had taken grandpa because he needed an adult supervisor and mama couldn't go. Mama was visiting a friend that had just given birth so she would come home really late because she wanted to stay and help her friend out with her new baby.
I was all alone feeling more depressed than ever in my life. As a laid there in bed I decided to see what time it was 8:40 p.m . I couldn't sleep, I needed to know that he was here, needed to feel his warmth, to smell his scent. But since he was not here I was going to have the next best thing as I walked down the stairs to the place where I knew I would find Inuyasha's scent his room. I didn't bother with the light I just threw myself in his bed and covered myself with his blankets.
I knew that I was about to cry "another tortures night without you Inuyasha …"I whispered to myself as a tear ran down my face.
That's when I felt two strong arms under the blanket wrapped themselves around my waist and pull me to a hard body. I gasped when I felt myself against someone's chest my brain telling me to pull out of their grasp and defend myself but my body not obeying. Until I hear that person speak in my ear "I don't want to spend another night without you, please don't push me away Kagome."
I wanted to push away and yell at him that he was the one that pushed me away! That he was being unfair with me first pushing me away and then begging me not to push him away. I wanted to tell him how much it hurt spending that night without him. Tell him that I loved him so much but at the same time wished that I could hate him for breaking my heart so many times.
I wanted to tell him that I would forget him and find someone that would not hurt me, that would love me with all his heart and that would make me happy. But I couldn't find the strength to even believe that myself even less make him believe it.
I tried to move away from him but his arms would not budge, they had an iron grip on me as if his life depended on me. "Please..." he begged pulling me closer to him, I wanted to yell for him to let go of me. But the only thing that escaped my lips was the complete opposite.
"Please don't let go of me Inuyasha…"he just buried his nose in the crook of my neck. And the only response I hear was a lazy "never..." before sleep took over me and I fell unconscious against Inuyasha's body….