A/N: This is not a chapter update but notes dump. I'm dumping all my notes, and the plans until the end for this story here because I can't finish this story anymore. All these notes are from back when I first started this on 2015 until 2017

At least I am leaving this here for clarification and a sort of closure instead of leaving this story hanging with no one aside from me knowing what was going on.

Chapter 10 (that I didn't get to finish back in 2017 so I am leaving it here too)

Fujiwara Sai was 10 years old when he first met a kid named Shindou Hikaru. He could remember that he was crying back then as he felt so utterly alone with his parents missing all of his life. When a 6 year old child had stood in front of him, looking at him with curious expression, he had immediately snapped at the younger child to leave him alone but luckily, Hikaru, continued pestering him to play. Sai wondered why Hikaru had wanted to play with a crying and an older child and he would never learn but ever since then he felt grateful for letting Hikaru drag him to the slides to play.

From that day on, it became a ritual that they would meet on every afternoon to play on the park. Before Sai know it, he had already been going on every afternoon to Hikaru's home to play. There, he had felt the love he lacked from his own parents. There he grew to love Mitsuko-oba and Masao-oji almost as a parent due to how caring and loving they are to him despite not being blood-related. At that age, his parents was nowhere to be seen, either they were at work or abroad doing their own work and he was left alone with his stoic uncle who taught him how to play Go. Sai had started teaching Hikaru to play Go but Hikaru either pout at him to instead play soccer or he would acquiescence only to get fed up after few minutes before he start throwing Go stones everywhere like a child throwing tantrum. Sai could admit that Hikaru at 10 was handful but he adored the loving hyperactive child, if only he could teach Hikaru about Go properly there might be someone he could play with by his own age or near his age.

Years passed by, and when Sai was 16 and Hikaru was 12, he had managed to coerce his friend to go to a Go salon for that day to accompany him. And there they met, Touya Akira that became Hikaru's rival later on. With the arrival of Touya Akira on their life, Sai's attempt of making Hikaru play Go for real aside from solving Tsumego had succeeded. Sai thanked Akira for motivating Hikaru.

At 19, Sai had decided to take the pro exam after being badgered by Hikaru and when he was finally made a decision to pursue the life of a Go Professional (with his parents letting him do so). Hikaru was already a pro by that time, and Sai felt that it was ironic that the student became a pro before the teacher.

(Age: Sai=19; Hikaru=15)

Supposed Summary but well, not anymore:

How does it feel like to be immortal?

Repeating the same cycle over and over again for a single salvation and losing sanity along the way.

Last days with him, he learning about it and they both deal with the inevitable. Is it really the end? Is there no way out to fight his fate?

Sai: How it felt like to lose someone you treasure the most?

In a different world, different time, Hikaru met them all, you were a jerk, taking everything away, slowly but surely the guilt is seeping its way onto your heart clenching it in a tight hold and not letting go, how it feels like to wish to God – repeatedly to turn back time with no success.

Character Appearance:

Fujiwara no Sai – Black purple hair tied with a red ribbon and purple eyes. He wears usual Japanese clothes from Heian period, consisting of a hat , red-purple kimono and white robes on it. He has red studs in his ears. The fan he carries seems to be a maiougi or Japanese dance fan. Sai looks to be in his mid to late twenties.

Shindou Hikaru – Greyish green eyes, his short hair is of a black color, however he has the front of it dyed blond. He tends to dress in sportier, casual clothes but as he gets older he begins to wear slightly more formal attire, among them plaid shirts that he usually leaves unbuttoned over another shirt. Green eyes, emerald eyes.

Vital Points during the story progress:

Currently Hikaru is 17 years old, and Sai is 21 years old. They're age gap is four years.

Touya implied that he met Hikaru when they were kids.(CH1) Maybe at the age of 12, Hikaru's grandfather is still around. So basically after a year when Akira and Hikaru met something happened to Hikaru, story plan is an accident in where his parents were involved.

Hikaru thought that his friendship with Akari has ended since 4 years ago (CH2) because of the accident.

Hikaru doesn't think he is able to return the same rival-ism Akira shared to him and Akira regrets the day he didn't grabbed Hikaru by the arm (CH1) that day isn't implied on which year.

Hikaru loves soccer at the age of 5, at 10 Go was forcefully introduced by his grandfather as a punishment for trying to steal a Goban on his attic (CH3)

At 12 Hikaru met Akira at his father's Go salon, he was with his grandfather that time. (CH3)

Sai's POV should be only seen with one paragraph or exclude it since Chapter 3

Hikaru doesn't play Go, for 4 years already and he doesn't want to play Touya because he doesn't want to see his intense eyes (CH3) most likely because if he did, the same passion will resurface onto his heart and he doesn't want that (speculation/plan)

Hikaru's status as a Go player is still unknown for the time being.

What I want to happen: Sai will be discovered that he is immortal (not in a sense but he have quick healing abilities or I wouldn't include that) and he have been world skipping/time skipping to save Hikaru by wishing to God, and every time he did the world/time he gets into makes Hikaru suffer even more and makes him die. By the end, Hikaru will make a wish and that wish will lead to the beginning of the anime.

Memories can be erased however emotions and feelings cannot. That is why human is very interesting.

Chapter Summaries/What should happen per chapter until the end:

Chapter 1

Meeting with Sai, and meeting Touya once again.

Chapter 2

New job, a waiter. He met Akari his childhood friend along with her classmate Mitani, and Kaneko. He met Tsutsui and Kaga his senpai's back in grade school before he stop schooling. Touya hunting him down again and Sai stalking him. Touya remembering his dreams and his fateful encounter with the twelve year old Shindou Hikaru. Touya was 12 year old, he is on his father's salon as always and then he saw a child his age along with an old man that must be his grandfather. The child have yellow shirt with number 5 written on it, a flashy short and a flashy sneaker plus flashy hair color. He is the complete opposite of every person who plays Go in this salon or in its entirety. His grandfather wonders somewhere to play someone and the child is left there. He turned to look at Touya and really looked and his eyes brighten at the thought that someone his age is playing, he decided to play with him instead of playing with this old geezers. Touya already saw Hikaru's potential, Shindou sprang a trap during the game and Touya felt that he have seen that move before. After the game, Touya obviously won by resignation on Hikaru's part and Touya remembers the dream he keep having, of a 15 year old boy with a blond bangs who he is facing on the other side of the Goban and he is playing against him with all his might. Touya thought that maybe just maybe, that his dream is true and his awaited rival have come to face him by the name of Shindou Hikaru.

Chapter 3

Touya and Shindou's friendship is starting to form once again. Shindou Hikaru almost got into a car accident, and it sent Sai into inner turmoil. Hikaru remembers the accident that devastated him.

Chapter 4

Sai is distancing himself from Hikaru as the reason for Hikaru's accident from the previous chapter was because he is there. Sai longs to play Go with Hikaru. And Hikaru declining his pleas as the reason for his parents accident is Go related. Hikaru had a dream, where he got into a different accident.

Chapter 5

Hikaru got caught into a fight, where he experience a dejavu. He remembers something from his dream. Where people wearing a white coat is looming around him, experimenting on him when he was still a child but he thought that it was strange because around that age, his parents are still around with him. He is starting to doubt the authenticities of his memories and he starts to investigate secretly. Touya caught him one time, demanding him how worried sick he is that Hikaru is acting strange. Hikaru doesn't want to tell Touya what is worrying him so he told him that he is only looking for something.

Chapter 6

Someone is stopping him from learning something, Hikaru noticed this as the evidence he keep getting are either burned or just plain lost. Hikaru seeks the help of Ogata, a Go player who is an acquaintance of his deceased parents. Sai stalking Hikaru as he felt the time is ticking away.

Chapter 7

Hikaru made a theory where his parents were involved in something illegal that concerns him. He noticed that Sai is acting weird lately, more clingy. He never went to Sai's apartment and when he did he saw papers that concerns his parents or to be precise, the evidence he got that were lost was stashed carefully on Sai's apartment wall. Hikaru had a nagging feeling that Sai is lying to him all this time but he still couldn't believe what he is seeing. He confronted Sai about it and it didn't went well. An electric post has gone weird and it went boom and went falling towards them, Sai immediately noticed the apparent danger and saved Hikaru. Hikaru was shocked because he remembered during his whole life that it wasn't the third time that he was involved in an accident. Sai is afraid that Hikaru starts to remembers..

Chapter 8

Hikaru remembers being killed on the car accident with his parents but he is alive. He remembered being killed on the car accident from the previous chapter and the way Sai cries while cradling his dead body. He remembered being stabbed on an alleyway where he first met Sai. He remembered being experimented by person on white after the car accident with his parents and hearing them say that it was impossible for him to be alive from that car accident with only little bruises. Hikaru remembered running away from that place and to somewhere where he scavenge for food and had a trauma at being experimented, he remembered where he robbed a gun and held it against his temple to kill himself. And he realized that every time he dies, he felt the pain fresh on his body and mind but always, always someone is there running towards him with a puffy red eyes from crying with a long hair, holding him down while sobbing and everything will turn into black and he will forget that he killed himself and he doesn't acquire any pain from it. He realized that he might be immortal and his mind copes with the pain by erasing his memory of it. (Selected Memory Loss) He also remembers that he met Touya when they were a kid and they played each other. He also remembers that a year ago, he committed suicide right in front of Touya when Hikaru remembers that he is immortal. And he wonders why did Touya also forget that he committed suicide back then?

Chapter 9

Hikaru doesn't know the truth anymore, he keep remembering things that felt real but didn't happen, he thought it is hallucination but the pain of being killed of dying was so vivid and it felt real. He couldn't eat nor go to his work as memories started to assault him, Touya visited him one time but he didn't let him in, he shouted at him to leave him alone, later on he felt bad for doing it but he felt that it is alright. Sai forced his way on the door of his room but he couldn't still believe this person, who is lying to him but he starts to remember and he only need to hear him out to figure what is the truth. But Sai starts to says his tale..

Chapter 10 – Sai's Tale Part 1

Fujiwara Sai is an ordinary person, he was 10 years old when he first met a kid Shindou Hikaru when he is alone and crying on a park, Hikaru was only 6 years old back then, he is nosy but gradually that day Sai felt better when he talked to this young boy and ever since then they met at the same place every afternoon. Hikaru suggested that they go to his house because his mother wants to see him. Hikaru's mother is nice and wonderful unlike his uncaring parents. At that age Sai already played Go when his uncle taught him he couldn't convince Hikaru to play but it was okay, Hikaru is still precious to him. Hikaru at the age of 12, they went to a Go salon as they usually do. There they met the prodigy Touya Akira, back then Sai knows that Touya is the Meijin's son but Hikaru doesn't and Hikaru doesn't want to see Sai play some old geezer so Sai didn't told Hikaru about Touya Akira and played him. Playing Touya is a good event, it encourage Hikaru to start playing Go seriously because he wanted to have the same eyes just like Touya and Sai when they play. Ever since then Touya only looks at Sai which is a bad thing because he doesn't see Hikaru and Hikaru wanted Touya to see him not Sai. Hikaru learned so fast, Sai is astonished by Hikaru's genius but along the way, Fujiwara Sai starts to remember bits by bits. His name is not Fujiwara Sai but Fujiwara no Sai.

Chapter 11 – Sai's Tale Part 2

He is a Go tutor to an Emperor back on the Heian Age. But Sai thought that he is only Fujiwara no Sai's reincarnation. Hikaru was 13 when he became an insei. Hikaru still tries to convince Sai to go pro but Sai couldn't not when his parents doesn't want him to play Go but he starts to want to go pro, and he started to plan his future away from his parents and that way is to go pro. Hikaru is jealous of Sai but he doesn't hate him, he could never hate him. During Hikaru's insei's days Touya Akira starts to notice Shindou Hikaru's abilities especially when he keep hearing that Shindou only started playing for a year yet he is already an insei material plus, Akira knows that Sai is Hikaru's Go teacher. Hikaru became a pro at 14 and Sai decided to take the pro exam next year. Sai was disowned by his parents when he voiced this but Hikaru's parent lovingly embraced him to their family. Sai became a pro next year and played Touya Meijin on his shin-shodan game. When he became a pro, it was then revealed that Sai is Hikaru's teacher. Akira and Hikaru looks at each other as rival.

(Option 1: Hikaru was 17 when his father got into a plane accident that devastated their family. Yet they remained strong. Heihachi visits their house as much as possible knowing that Hikaru and Sai is busy with their job. Hikaru was 20 when Hikaru's mother was diagnosed with cancer. And a year later on she died refusing for therapy and happily going to heaven to where her husband is. Hikaru and Sai remained strong along with Heihachi. Hikaru was 22 when his grandmother died from a heart attack and the year later his grandfather followed suit with the same illness. Hikaru fell into a depression and took a break from being a pro at the same time Touya Meijin died from another heart attack that devastated Touya Akira yet he tries to move on. Sai is also devastated because his rival left him first. While Akira tries to move on Hikaru overcome his depression and starts to play Go again.)

(Option 2: Hikaru was 17 when his mother died from a car accident and it resulted to his father being an alcoholic, Sai and Hikaru already left the house before their mother died on said accident. Hikaru was devastated.)

A/N: I choose Option 2 in the end, onward to more notes please

Hikaru was 19 when Sai saw Hikaru dying after saving him from a car accident yet Hikaru was smiling at him on his last moment and said to Sai that he is thankful that he somehow managed to save even one of his family. Sai begging Hikaru not to leave him behind. And Hikaru saying that he is sorry that he couldn't grant Sai's pleas this time and told him not to follow him so early because he will be angry.

For the love of Sai's life, he felt empty without Hikaru (Hikaru's grandfather and grandmother might be there for him but Hikaru was the one who saved him from loneliness) and he sunk into depression that he quit being a pro. Akira was depressed because he lost his life-long rival and angry at him for leaving him so soon.

After a week he realized that he couldn't stand the silence his apartment brought him without Hikaru's constant chatter.

After two weeks he realized that he couldn't stand to forgive himself for being pathetic, for being the reason for Hikaru's death.

After three weeks he realized that he couldn't stand to live so when he went to the kitchen he pressed the knife on his wrist but he remembers Hikaru's last words that made him let go of the knife and he just starts sobbing, wishing to any deity around that, "I don't need anything, I just want to see Hikaru again, so please return things to the beginning! Please return time to when I first met him!"

Sai suddenly wake up in a swing, with a child Hikaru asking him what was wrong.

(Sai started to remember more, of another time, of another him. He is incorporeal and he is teaching Hikaru how to play Go and he met Hikaru when Hikaru is 12 at his grandfather's attic, on the stained Kaya board. Sai remembers that the first time he met Touya was through Hikaru. Sai played him through Hikaru because Sai is incorporeal. He remembers that he drowned himself on a river when he was branded as a cheater when he lost to a Game of Go against the other Go tutor. He remembers meeting Torajiro when he was a young child, Torajiro let him play all the game and he remembers seeing Torajiro dies from the cholera. Sai starts to doubt that what he is remembering is a form of imagination because he felt the pain of drowning as if it was real. He remembers playing against Touya Meijin on the computer and winning by half a moku and he remembers Hikaru saying that Touya Meijin should have won if he moved in a certain point. He remembers playing Hikaru one last time and not being able to say even a goodbye or to say his words completely that it was fun.

Sai thought it is the result of his active imagination that Hikaru managed to inflict on him all this years of being together but what if… it wasn't?)

Chapter 12

Sai realized that in every miracle, there is a bigger price and he learned it the hard way. He met Hikaru just like the first time and Sai knows what will happen once Hikaru's mother dies. He expected that Hikaru's father will become alcoholic but when he tries to stop him (he didn't stop him to fall into this path on the previous world/time that's why he did it now.) Hikaru's father lash at him, straggling him that's when Hikaru came to the scene. With wide eyes he tries to pull his father away from Sai but when he did his father hits Hikaru on the head with a bottle at an apparent rage and.. with blood oozing out of Hikaru's head, Sai tries to bring him to the hospital but Hikaru didn't make it. Sai, who couldn't accept the loss, wished to God again to return back time before Hikaru's death in this time. The time has been returned and Hikaru didn't die this time. When the time came on the date of Hikaru's supposed car accident. Nothing happened. Sai was grateful to that. But the next day when they were on their way to Go institution they were waiting for the next train to arrive. That's when the train railing went ka-boom because of the terrorists and the train came crashing towards them. Sai was shocked that he was paralyzed and Hikaru being someone with a good footmanship, acted immediately grabbing Sai by the hand and they both run as far as possible. When another explosion appeared they both came flying and when Sai came to, Hikaru is lying next to him, he thought he is only sleeping but when he saw blood pooling from Hikaru's head. Sai's stares at the sight, deeply wondering why Hikaru is dead again… and before he could wish, time returned again and again without his input every time Hikaru dies.

Chapter 13

Sai have grown tired of seeing blood, have grown tired of seeing Hikaru die. And he decided to remove his presence from Hikaru's life and observe what will happen. And it was awful. Hikaru and his family got involved in a car accident. Hikaru died at the young age of 9, but Sai wouldn't let it happen again. Then Hikaru was returned to life and Sai noticed he still in the same world he was in and it seems God revived Hikaru in the world of living without returning back the clock. But it made doctors curious about Hikaru's case and a scientist came and experimented him but it was fruitless, Hikaru keep reviving as if he turned into immortal. Sai tried to stop them but they wouldn't let him. Sai wished to God to return back time before the accident so that Hikaru will not suffer from the hands of them but his wish remained unfulfilled. And Sai stares at it with horror that this may be God's way of tormenting him in exchange of the miracles performed. The scientists continued with their action that Sai snapped and killed them all for hurting Hikaru. Sai took Hikaru on Hikaru's grandfather (his wife recently dead from heart attack after learning the death of her son and his wife and her missing grandson) place and the man raised him until his death when Hikaru was 14.

As Sai explained the truth (or what he perceived as truth) Hikaru stares at Sai and yelled at him "Idiot! You..!" with his tears streaming down his face, "You were so fragile looking yet you are so strong.. why would.." Hikaru was angry and sad for the man who continued protecting him. Then Hikaru realized and remembers. Hikaru and his parents where in a car accident and they all died except Hikaru was miraculously alive and scientist kidnapped him and tried to learn what makes him an immortal because he was and it hurts that they keep killing him and Sai arrived to save him. And his grandfather was teaching him Go until his grandpa died and he believed his parents were still alive. (His mind couldn't take the trauma of his parents deaths and the continued experiment done on him that his mind supressed it all making him believe that his parents had been alive until he was 14, and they died on a car crashed caused when by his insistent for them to go to a Go seminar.) (Heihachi didn't have the heart to tell his grandson that his parents had been dead all along until his timely demise)

Chapter 14 - END

Touya returns to Hikaru's apartment to find it open and to see Sai and Hikaru sleeping. Touya smiles at the sight. Hikaru had a dream (another world where this actually happened) where he is laughing with Sai along with father and mother and both of his grandparents. Hikaru dreamt another scene (another world) where Fujiwara no Sai a Heian ghost came hunting him when he is 12 years old, and Sai is laughing childishly while following Hikaru who is grinning.

Sai assured Hikaru that he will protect him even if it costs his life, Hikaru made Sai promise that Sai wouldn't die protecting HIkaru which the other didn't answer.

Suddenly an accident occur. There was a fire on a building and the falling debris falls towards them, Sai shielded Hikaru by his body and died with a smile, happy that for once he managed to protect Hikaru from harm.

Hikaru was devastated by it. He kept crying and crying, he kept blaming himself until he remembers the dream he once had, a peaceful life with Sai, him being a 12 year old child, smiling and giggling with a long haired man in a Heian clothes who looks like Sai. And he deeply wished that that dream will come true. And a mysterious voice whispered on his mind, he look around but he couldn't identify where is the voice coming from, he was going to ask the voice but the voice said "Child, do you really wish to make that dream happen no matter the outcome even if in exchange of what you have now?" Hikaru answered determinedly "Yes." And everything turned to black and when he came too, he is facing an effeminate looking person wearing a clothes that is so ancient and covered with a long white robe. The person look beautiful and frightening yet Hikaru doesn't feel frightened. Hikaru doesn't know why he is not afraid of this person suddenly appearing of his Grandfather's dusty Goban but he felt deep inside, an underlying emotion he doesn't comprehend fills his heart that made tears sprung onto his disbelieving eyes, and when he heard the words that follow, his heart fills with happiness for an unknown reason. "All powerful God, I thank you... I will now return… Return to the world of living." And the 12 year old Shindou Hikaru lost consciousness with a tear trailing down his face, brows furrowed into a slight grimace yet his lips are curled into a smile. (Not knowing that they had been played all this time.)

A voice snorted and mockingly laughed up above without the mortal and the ghost noticing him

Birds of the same feather really does flock together, doesn't they?

And both of you were a fool

That is why it is so much fun to play with mortals.

Truths:

The God who grants miracles is not benevolent.

God have too much time on their hands and they are bored so they granted Canon!Hikaru's wish to get another chance to see Sai but with a twist (because they were bored and there are few mortals with spiritual power that would call out to them one of them being Hikaru and the others were long gone) This time Sai is a human and Hikaru have no memories of asking for a miracle.

It was a normal happy (boring, the God will say) life but every miracle is with a price and that is why Hikaru suffers his misfortune by the death of his relatives (his precious relatives) and Sai too but Hikaru died in an accident (taking the God's fun with it and they will pout in disappointment for the fun was cut short) then Sai wished to see Hikaru again and the God thinks, another foolish mortal

Sai's wish came true but they know that this mortal Sai will suffer the same misfortune, to see the precious people he has die or suffer.

The God laughs because Sai died saving Hikaru (when Hikaru wished in his original world to see him again, unwittingly giving up everything for the Ghost Sai, foolish human giving everything for a soul that must return to the cycle)

The God had a hand on why Hikaru became immortal. It was easy like a mere flick to rewind a human body before its death. If it resulted in more suffering for the boy, it was the boys fault of not paying enough for the miracle of reincarnating Sai into a human body in another world.

When Sai died, the Gods were fairly okay with it, they already had their fun to last a lifetime. But then Hikaru wished to return to a life where Sai wore Heian Clothes accompanying a 12 year old Hikaru and they bellowed with laughter even as they grant the foolish man's wish. They decided, one last time, because enough is enough with the miracles as Hikaru will have to pay the miracle performed with anguish when the Ghost Sai eventually leaves him.

Lastly, when Hikaru wishes for any being to return back time to when he first met Ghost Sai, his wish were unfulfilled. As Hikaru screams and lost his way, the God watches on with amusement.