Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, Valve does. So long as I can play with them, I'm golden.

Nick hadn't said anything by the time the sun had set. He was still sitting in the corner of the safe house, knees pulled up to his chest. Ellis had hoped that maybe the catatonia would pass on it's own, but time was getting desperate now. They needed to set out the next morning, as soon as possible, if they wanted to get back to Coach and Rochelle before they were assumed dead. And being in the complete opposite spot of where they needed to be, it was going to be a difficult day, especially if Nick was going to be in this state of shock.

The safe room this time was small. It had a bottom area and a small catwalk up top. Ellis wasn't sure if it was storage space or what, but it was a far cry from the house the night before. The only light was a battery-powered lantern that glowed weakly between the two of them.

Ellis snatched up a can of corn from one of the shelves, and set it down in front of Nick. "You gotta eat somethin'."

"I'm really not hungry." Ah. Progress. At least he was talking. Earlier he wouldn't even blink to anything Ellis asked.

"You need to eat, we have a long walk in front of us," he replied, quietly. Nick snorted, and brushed another tear from his eye, holding them in now. Back to being infuriatingly self controlled, also a good sign. Sort of. "We have to get back to Coach and Rochelle by tomorrow night at sundown. Or they leave without us."

"I don't care."

"You may not, but I do," Ellis replied, gentle but adamant. Nick shook his head, refusing to look at the younger man. "…. Nick. You don't know that she's dead-."

"Oh right. RIGHT. Don't patronize me."

"I ain't patronizin' you," Ellis insisted, though he had to admit to himself it looked pretty grim. "Keith was alive, remember? Look, she wasn't in the house, she wasn't one of the zombies we killed, she wasn't anywhere around there."

"That means shit. She could have wandered off with one of those huge hordes of them-."

"Don't think like that."

"I'm thinking realistically!" Nick snarled, and Ellis tried to remain calm, as Nick was very understandably upset. VERY understandably upset. Eggshells were a must. "How could she survive this? She's all alone. WE'RE barely making it with FOUR of us."

"You just can't be sure. Until you have seen her body, you don't know." Nick snorted, and reached for a cigarette.

"Your eternal optimism is really pissing me off."

"Sorry to hear that."

"I told her to wait for me there, so she would have waited."

"Not if her Mom and stepdad turned into zombies she wouldn't have. And someone had to've killed her stepdad, right? The infected aren't exactly known for their shooting skills."

Nick lit up the cig, and rested his head against the wall. He didn't want to give up so easily. He wanted to believe that she was alive, that she had somehow made it to an EC somewhere, anywhere. But how could he think that she had been lucky enough to survive this when so many hadn't? The same question he'd thought many times this journey repeated in his head: what were the odds? As a gambler, he knew everything about odds, and how to manipulate his own. You could count cards, you could bluff really well and read others tells, you could wait for someone to leave a slot machine in a huff and MAYBE it would finally pay out just for you. But there was no way to control the odds this time, and to feel so utterly powerless was eating away at him.

"Ellis… Even if she IS alive…. How would I find her?" he asked, softly. "Who knows where she went? Or if she found an EC? Or if she did if she's already been evacuated? For that matter, who knows what happens WHEN the military evacuates you?"

"You have to stop askin' those questions," Ellis replied, finally biting into his can of corn. "At every single safe house we stop in, we check the walls. See if she's left you a message, left anyone a message. Track her movements that way. Hell, I left messages because everyone was doin' it, maybe she thinks like I do."

Nick didn't answer, and drew a hand across his eyes. They were stinging like mad, his cheeks too, and he wasn't sure what to say to that. Maybe she did. In any case he didn't want to get his hopes up, the way he'd gotten them up as they traveled to Brunswick in the first place.

He'd never been one who believed in God. He had gone to mass to appease his parents until he was fifteen, and then he was done. It was the first incident in a line of disappointments that separated him from his family, and he'd always suspected that his sudden vocal Atheism had been the nail in the coffin. Now he wished he had kept with his faith when he was younger, because now it was just too far gone for him to find any solace in it.

Ellis gave up on Nick eating anything, and put the untouched can of corn in his bag for later. Unsure of what to say now, he merely stood up and looked through the barred windows. It was dark, but he could see shuffling infected in the distance, disinterested in them at this point.

"…. Look, I'm tired Ellis. I think I'm just going to go to bed.

"Kay… Do you want me to be next to you, or-?"

"No," Nick said abruptly. "…. Not tonight. I just kinda want to be alone. I can take the catwalk."

"Kay." Nick nodded slowly, and trudged up the steps. Ellis raised a hand, in a sad wave. "Night." Nick didn't answer, and Ellis lay down next to the lantern, switching it off. Nick, his Nick, was gone, and it was unclear if he was ever going to come back. The Infection had finally broken him, and Ellis had never felt more alone in this whole thing. He also had no idea what to do. He'd never had a friend experience such a trauma, such a loss, and he wasn't sure what to say or how to treat him, or 'them', anymore. As selfish as it was, and he recognized it, he began to quietly cry because as far as he was concerned, Nick would be forever consumed with his grief and they would never repair. They had one perfect night, and while given the circumstances it was lucky that were given that one, Ellis wanted more. He deserved more. So he wept alone and in silence.

Nick stared at the wall, unable to feel anything. All he could think was that he had failed her yet again, after years of failing her. Even when it mattered most he broke his promise, and even though he made it to Brunswick, he wasn't able to come to her rescue. It was awful feeling this powerless, and he curled his face into his wrists, swallowing the anguish and self hatred. Gripping the necklace in his hand, Nick fell into a tormented sleep, with no dreams or peace to be found.

"I think it's them!" Rochelle exclaimed, using a sniper scope to peek through the bars of the safe room.

"Is there anyone with them?" Coach asked, rushing to the door as well, and Rochelle shook her head, slowly. "Rochelle?"

"No," she stated, flatly. "I guess you were right, Coach. It's just Nick and Ellis."

Her knee, while not perfect, had healed enough that she could walk on it, even run if it was necessary, so long as it was wrapped tightly. She had been praying that Ellis and Nick would return, and had become more and more nervous as the second day had continued on with no sign of them. Coach had said that if they hadn't arrived by the next morning, they were leaving, assuming them dead. So when she was keeping watch and saw the telltale clothing, her heart soared. It was amazing to her that she was so attached to these three people she had just met, but they were her only family now. She made sure that there were no infected outside, and cupped her hands around her mouth and called out to them "Hey guys! We're in here!"

She walked out of the safe house, waving at them. Neither of them sped up, or even acknowledged her. She was going to make some joke about her knee, but then saw their faces. She stopped in her tracks, and could tell that something was terribly wrong. Nick looked like hell, and Ellis just looked drained.

"Guys?" she asked, and Nick walked past her towards the safe house. "Nick?" Coach left the safe house to greet them too, and made a face when Nick just walked past him and inside. Rochelle turned to Ellis, a quizzical expression on her face. "…. What happened, Ellis?"

Ellis put a hand to his mouth, and took in a deep breath, and Coach was soon right next to them. "Guys….. Um…. So Nick didn't tell the whole truth to us."

"Oh great, what did he -?" Rochelle began, incredulously, but Ellis held up his hands and shushed her.

"Hold on, let me finish, Ro," he said, tightly. "… The friends we went to find in Brunswick?... He was actually looking for his daughter."

Rochelle's hand flew to her mouth, a muffled 'Oh my God' leaving her lips, and Coach huffed like he had the air knocked out of him.

"He killed one of those crying girl zombie things, and it turned out to be his ex wife," Ellis continued, hands in his pockets. "We searched the house and found the step dad, dead, and infected… but couldn't find Daisy. She's…. she's gone."

"Sweet Jesus," Coach murmured, turning over his shoulder towards the safe house. "How is he…? I mean, have you…. What-?"

"He ain't good," Ellis replied. "… Now we didn't find Daisy, but we didn't find her body either. And SOMEONE had to have shot her stepdad."

"Ellis, do you know the odds-?" Coach began, and Ellis shook his head violently.

"The odds, the odds, I am so SICK of hearing about the odds of things!" he snapped. "The odds ain't good, I get that! I ain't stupid! But he and I found each other, despite the odds, and we can find Daisy too!"

Rochelle and Coach exchanged glances, and she pat the larger man on the shoulder. "Coach…. Could you leave us alone for a few moments?"

"I don't think I should be going into the safe house right about-."

"Then go scavenge the area for ammo and supplies," she said, sternly, and Coach grumbled a bit. "Don't go too far-."

"Yeah yeah yeah," he said, walking off and searching the brush.

Rochelle turned back to Ellis, and squeezed his arm. "Sweetie… I know that you care about Nick, but why are you…?" How to phrase this gently? "… Why are you getting your hopes up over something that is so unlikely?" Ellis removed his hat and twisted it in his hands, and sat down on a small log, Rochelle sitting next to him. He wrinkled his nose, and massaged his temples.

"This has all but killed him, Ro," he said, softly. "If… If Daisy is alive, and we find her…. I might get him back, y'know? Two nights ago, I was actually happy when it was just him, and me. Yeah, we were in danger, and it was still the end of the world, but I was actually HAPPY, and I'm pretty sure he was happy too. Now it seems like neither of us will be happy ever again. But if we find Daisy…. I know it's selfish, so don't tell me it is, I know it's selfish to hope she's okay so he'll smile at me again, but I don't care. I just want him to smile again."

Rochelle wrapped her arm around his shoulders, and he rested his head on hers. She exhaled slowly, and rubbed his arm. "You two…. I've been watching you two the entire time we've all been together, and even though it hasn't been long, I could tell that you were the world to each other. Even when he was snapping at you, or you were egging him on, I knew there was something really, well, great, between you guys. It helps that you two have known each other a long time-."

"No we haven't," Ellis muttered. "I lied to you that night at the bakery. He picked me up in a bar last Tuesday."

"….Well you had me fooled," she said, and he smiled, though it was cautious.

"I don't know, Ro," he said, scratching his head. "…. I think I really messed up."

"Why?" she asked.

"…. I let myself fall into it WAY too quickly," he admitted, futzing with his hands. "I forgot that we're pretty much surrounded by death and destruction, and just-."

"Fell for him," she finished, smiling knowingly.

"Yep," he nodded. "Pretty dumb. Now's not the time to do that. There are freakin' zombies all around us, for God's sake!" He snorted, and shifted his hat on his head. "It's so bad now…. Now I know we never shoulda let this happen between us. Especially when it may not even be real-."

"Real?" she asked.

"Yeah, real," he replied, throat constricting slightly. "It could just be because no one's left, and we're just…. Settlin' on each other-."

"Bull," she replied, sternly, so sternly that he looked at her sharply. "Yeah, Ellis, things are shit right now. Worse than shit, even. But you, and Nick… you guys found something despite of all the shit. You may have found it quicker than most, but you found it and it's real. Just looking at you two I can tell it's real, and I wish I'd connected to someone like that. And that isn't going to go away because his daughter is gone, Sweetie. You need to be there for him now, we all do. And maybe he'll smile at you again someday."

Ellis put his hat back on, and took her hand. "Not sure any of us have the time to wait for that." He stood up, and walked back towards the safe house, leaving Rochelle on the log. She put her head in her hands, and just sat, needing to be alone for awhile.

Nick was smoking in the corner of the safe house when Ellis walked in. The younger man paused in the doorway, and then went and sat down next to him. "… Can I get me one of those?" Nick glanced over at him, and nodded, lighting another one up and handing it to him. "Thanks."

"Since when do you smoke?" Nick asked, cigarette hanging off his lip.

"I smoke," Ellis insisted, taking a drag. He held in a cough, and blew the burn out from his lungs. "Yeah. Good stuff." Nick cracked a small smirk, and shook his head. "Check the walls?"

"Yep."

"…. Take it there was nothin' then."

"Nope."

"….Just gotta keep lookin'."

"Sure….."

"Have you eaten anything?"

"I will at dinner." Ellis nodded, and reached into his bag. He removed the marker, and set it on the floor. Nick glanced down at it, but then returned to simply staring ahead.

"I told Coach and Ro what's goin' on," Ellis continued, pulling up a knee to his chest as he loaded his gun. "May not've been my place, sorry if it wasn't, but I did. Have you changed your bandages yet?"

Nick normally wouldn't have appreciated being treated like a child, but that was the furthest thing from his mind right now. "Nope." Ellis didn't say anything in judgment. He simply put out the cigarette and reached for a med pack, beginning to unbutton the older man's shirt. The gauze was dark with blood, but had held up. Ellis cleaned off his hands with sanitary wipes, and removed the dressings as gently as possible. Nick barely flinched as the gashes were exposed, despite the scabs leaving with the bandages, and Ellis opened the bottle of iodine, carefully cleaning them once again. No Keith stories to be had this time.

"Tell me if it hurts, kay?" He didn't expect an answer, so he just kept cleaning and patching. "They're gettin' better. If we keep cleaning them like this you'll be fixed in no time." He taped up one last patch of gauze, and buttoned up the shirt once more. "How do they feel?"

"Fine," Nick replied.

"Good, good... Nick, I really don't know what to say or do," Ellis blurted out, no longer able to stand keeping it inside. "I'm afraid I'll say somethin' stupid, since I kinda do that a lot, and I don't wanna upset you any more than you already are… I just want you to know that…. Well, no matter what, I'll still be here for you if you want me to be….. I'm gonna go make sure that Ro and Coach are doin' okay out there. Call if you need anything." He stood up, and carried the gun out of room. Nick didn't want him to go, necessarily, but didn't have the drive to make him stay.

He glanced down at the marker, and snorted. No point. But he clasped it in his hand, and turned around, facing the wall. There was a little room for him to write, but he'd have to keep it short, even though he felt he could write a novel of apologies to her.

Daisy,

I'm sorry for every promise I've broken, and I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. I'm sorry I wasn't the father you needed, and I'm sorry that I've failed. I'm heading towards Jacksonville. If by some miracle you see this, please, go that way too.

Dad

He tossed the marker at his bag, and extinguished his long dead cigarette on the concrete floor. Just gotta keep going. Gotta get to Jacksonville.

He made a decision at that moment. Not only was he going to get to Jacksonville, he was going to take out hundreds of infected in his wake. Preferably in the bloodiest and most painful ways possible.

Ellis shot at a Jockey, using target practice as a way to vent his emotions. It wasn't working as well as he had hoped. "Take that you horny bastard."

"Nice shot," Coach said, suddenly next to him.

"Thanks," Ellis replied, and let his gun fall to his side. "Figure that even though we got a safe room I may as well get any freaks that're walkin' around out here."
"Makes sense to me," Coach replied. "How's Nick?"

"Piss poor," the mechanic replied, not missing a beat. "But I can handle takin' care of him, you guys don't hafta worry about that."

"Naw, we all take care of each other," Coach replied "Ro's keepin' an eye on him for now while she gets dinner ready, don't feel like it's all your responsibility… Did you have kids, Ellis?"

Ellis chuckled a bit. Kids, yeah right. At twenty three the only time he thought about kids was when his Mom had nagged him about getting married and making her a grandmother. Why she was in such a hurry was beyond him. As far as he'd been concerned, he shouldn't have had to worry about finding a nice girl at 23, especially since he wasn't looking at girls. Not that he'd had the heart to tell her that. So he let her think that grandkids were in the near future, and had planned to tell her the truth when he'd found someone special, and hope that she wouldn't freak out. Even though he was nervous to tell her, somehow he knew that she would have been okay with it. But now he'd never know for certain.

"No sir. No kids. Haven't even had a girlfriend since high school, and we never did anything that would lead to kids," he replied, scanning the grounds. "You?"

"No," he replied, also keeping an eye out. "Maria and I couldn't have them. She had to have an emergency hysterectomy at nineteen, before we met. It tore us up for awhile, but we accepted that kids weren't in the plan God had for us. These days I'm actually glad we never did have kids… And Nick is the perfect example of why."

Ellis nodded, dazed. He wasn't sure where The Infection would have fit into God's plan, but didn't want to say it to Coach. So instead he settled with "I guess so."

"Guys, you should come inside," Rochelle said, head poking out from the door. "I have dinner ready and we should get some sleep if we're gonna get on the road early tomorrow."

"Sounds good, Ro, we'll be right in," Coach called back, and pat Ellis on the back. "Like I said, we'll all keep an eye on him. But we also have to keep in mind that this is the kind of grief that'll drive a man crazy. So we have to watch out for that too."

"…. Yeah," Ellis said, scratching his head. "I'll keep an eye out for that."

"Alright…. Come on, let's go eat."

Had they thought outside the box a bit, perhaps they would have looked on the outside walls for more messages. Because had they done that, they might have seen something written in bright blue marker.

Daisy was here, 10/10. Heading to Jacksonville. Zombie head count: ten. RIP Mom, and Dad.

A/N: Yeah, I didn't have the heart to kill Nick's kid. It's a bit deus ex machina, but… I'm okay with that, the guy's been through enough.