Author's note: So originally this was supposed to be the final chapter, but it got to be too long and unwieldy. As a result, there will definitely be at least one more chapter coming, plus an epilogue. I will try to be a little more speedy, but real life is intruding in the most delightful way. Plus they're still not paying me to write it. Gotta figure out how to get that job... :)
Thank you SO much for all the lovely reviews and alerts and favorites! I haven't been able to respond to every one due to that whole real life thing that keeps sticking its nose in, but I can tell that I savor and reread them all. I'm not going to lie-it's a big motivation to write, and there were days when I needed it. You all are awesome!
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one, and I promise to put everyone back almost the same as I found them. :)
Deeks sat slumped in the hard plastic chair, elbows resting on his knees and the wallet balanced carefully in both hands. He'd been sitting here virtually unmoving for hours, or at least that's what it felt like. Longer, maybe. An eternity perhaps. Waiting while somewhere back in the oppressive atmosphere of the busy ER, a team of doctors and nurses with their terrifying equipment and needles and monitors were working to save Kensi's life.
It almost didn't feel real. He thought maybe he was in a nightmare, but if he was he'd been unable to make himself wake up. He'd gladly pinch himself into oblivion if he could make this all a terrible dream, but it was all too real. He let his mind drift back to that moment when he'd looked down and seen his partner covered in blood and staring up at him with a greyish complexion and glazed eyes.
She'd grasped his shirt and told him she was sorry, had whispered that he was the best partner she'd ever had and that she hadn't meant anything she'd said back in that stupid pointless fight from weeks ago. For so long he'd thought he'd needed those words, had decided in his arrogance and his certainty that she was going to have to speak first, to apologize and make it up to him. But he'd been granted a terrible moment of clarity as she'd given all that to him and more while blood seeped out of an ugly wound on her shoulder after she'd jumped in front of a bullet meant for him. None of it mattered—not the words or the gesture or who spoke first—none of that mattered in the long run. What did matter was having that person next to you, having them whole and healthy and smiling or frowning or anything really except laying on the ground growing more and more pale as their heartbeat stuttered and grew thready and their eyes closed as they whispered in their long-dead father's ear.
He closed his eyes tight, then rubbed at them with one hand as the other tightened on the wallet. He spared a moment to wish briefly that it was as easy to shut out memories of the night's events as it was to shut out the harsh fluorescent lights and ugly tile of the ER waiting room. He'd replayed it over and over in his head a thousand times, and every time in his head he managed to save her somehow. In one version he pushed her behind him, taking the bullet himself. Sometimes he managed to get to Castille before Castille could fire. Once he'd thrown his own weapon at Castille's head, and the weight of his Beretta had knocked Castille backwards off the cliff. There were many different versions in his mind's eye, but they all had one common thread—at the end of it all, Kensi was happy and healthy and most definitely not laying on the ground bleeding out.
He felt someone sit down next to him, and he turned his head and opened bleary eyes to find Sam staring compassionately at him.
"It's hard, isn't it?" the other man said. "Having a partner."
Deeks was silent for a moment, slightly confused by the comment. "You know, I've had partners before."
"No, you haven't," Sam contradicted calmly. "Not really. You've worked with people before Kensi, but you never really had a partner." Deeks shook his head but didn't respond, so Sam continued. "Partners means more than carpooling to work and hitting a bar together after your shift. Partners—real partners—can finish each other's sentences. They know what the other's thinking. They go through doors together without hesitating because they trust each other." He paused for a moment, eyes knowing as they met Deeks'. "Real partners would give their life for each other. And they'd rather die themselves than see their partner fall in the line of duty."
Deeks let his head fall, no longer able to hold Sam's gaze. "Real partners don't let their partner almost die taking a bullet for them."
"But real partners do take a bullet for each other," said Sam gently. "Kensi is just as much your partner as you are hers. Do you think she wouldn't want to save you just as much as you've saved her in the last two years?"
"Look, Sam, I get what you're trying to say, I really do," began Deeks, getting to his feet. "But I don't think you know what it feels like to have…"
"Don't I?" Sam remained where he was, but he shifted back so he could look up at Deeks. "My partner's back there too."
Deeks looked at him, really looked at him then. Sam's expression was calm, eyes carefully neutral, but his lips were tight and shoulders tense. One fisted hand rested on his knee, and his knuckles were white.
"Sorry, man," Deeks said quietly.
Sam shrugged. "I'm mostly used to it by now. G has a way of getting himself in trouble, and mostly he gets himself out again. But sometimes he doesn't. That's where I come in." He looked down, lips quirked in a half smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I figure partners save each other more often than not. But…" He paused, swallowed.
"Sometimes they don't," Deeks finished quietly.
"Yeah."
Deeks took his seat next to Sam once more, and the two of them sat in companionable silence for some time.
Deeks was never sure afterward just how long they sat there. He'd had time to carefully pull the bullet from the wallet using a borrowed pair of sterile medical gloves, sealing it in a specimen jar and saving it for evidence. Not that there would be much of an investigation. Two NCIS agents down, and the man who shot them at the bottom of a steep cliff. Castille had no living family, and neither did Kensi or Callen for that matter. The case would be closed quietly in an effort to avoid any further PR black eyes for the Marines and other military personnel.
He'd opened the wallet and looked at the driver's license inside, spent some time staring into Joseph Blye's eyes. Kensi's father, the man who'd raised her up to be Wonder Woman and Jason Bourne all rolled into one. The man who'd been the center of her very existence, and the man whose death had marked her for life. You could see reflections of her father in Kensi's features, although hers were finer and less heavy. But the jawline was the same, as were the lips. He wondered if Joseph Blye had dimples when he smiled. He hadn't looked at anything else in the wallet, although he'd been sorely tempted. He was hoping someday soon Kensi would show it to him herself. Until then, he'd respect her privacy.
Sam and Deeks both looked up as the double doors at the end of the waiting room slid open. A doctor walked in, green scrubs blood-marked and stained.
"G Callen?" he called out. Sam and Deeks both got to their feet and approached him. The doctor waited until they were standing in front of him before speaking. "Gentlemen, I'm Dr. Chuck Kahele. I've been working on Agent Callen this evening."
"How is he?" Sam asked, worry and concern betrayed only in the question.
"He's going to be fine." Dr. Kahele smiled reassuringly at them both. "The bullet deflected off the side of one of his ribs and missed all the major organs. No heart or lung damage. It did crack the rib, and there will be considerable soreness for several days. He's lost some blood, and I suspect he's in more pain than he'll admit. But he will be fine. We're going to keep him overnight, but he should be good to go in the morning."
"Thank you, Doctor." Sam's stance eased a bit as his shoulders relaxed and the tension seeped out of him. It was obvious that Callen's condition had had him worried.
"My pleasure." The doctor turned sideways, gestured toward the door. "He's been moved to a room on the second floor. Would you like to see him?"
Deeks took a step back. "You go ahead. I'm going to wait until I hear about Kensi."
"Agent Blye?" The doctor cocked his head slightly to one side. "I believe she's in surgery right now. If you'd like to wait with Agent Callen, I can send the nurse in to get you when her surgery's complete."
"Thank you, Doctor," Deeks said gratefully. The thought of being alone with his thoughts in the ER waiting room without even Sam for dubious moral support was daunting. "I'd like that."
"Room 214." The doctor held the door open for them, and the two of them went to find Callen.
When they found Callen's room at the somewhat secluded end of a corridor on the second floor, Sam knocked lightly before sticking his head in. "He's asleep", he said quietly to Deeks, holding the door open and then following the other man in.
They sat down in the two matching wooden chairs set at the far side of the single bed in the room. Deeks angled around enough so that he could look out the window, although he couldn't have named one thing visible through the glass in the stillness of the early evening. Sam studied his partner's face, still concerned enough to have worry creases form above his brow. They sat in silence for several minutes before Deeks spoke.
"You know, there's been a lot going on today, and I kind of hate to bring this up, but I gotta ask." He turned to look at Sam, remnants of anger stirring in his blue gaze. "What in the hell were you and Callen trying to pull today?"
Sam had the grace to look shame-faced, his eyes still on his partner's face, more to avoid looking at Deeks at this point than anything else. "We had a plan."
"A plan," Deeks repeated doubtfully.
"Yeah, a plan." Sam took a deep breath. "We knew things weren't going well between you and Kensi. We tried talking to y'all back in the states, but that didn't work."
"That day at the beach," Deeks said, comprehension dawning.
"For both of y'all." Sam's lips quirked. "You two are more alike than you realize. Y'all were within 5 miles of each other, both on the beach, both looking like something the cat dragged in."
Deeks smiled a little. "What does that have to do with today?"
"We saw what happened at the warehouse, up on the second level. Some kind of argument, then she pushed you away and took off running, and you stood there…"
"Because she asked me to. We didn't have a fight today. We were actually starting to reconnect. And that's all I can say." Deeks held up his hand when Sam started to speak. "It's not my story to tell, and if you want to know any more you can ask Kensi. Now explain-o, por favor."
"You weren't fighting?" Sam leaned back in his chair, his head dropping back on the headrest. "I wish we'd known that. We were going to try and…and fix things. We even had a name for it. Operation Fix the Team."
"Go on," said Deeks, brows lowering. He had a feeling he wasn't going to like this.
"See, Callen caught up with Kensi, and he told her…well, he told her that he'd talked to Hetty, and once we were back on the mainland that you wouldn't be her partner any more." Seeing the expression on Deeks' face, he rushed on. "He didn't really mean it. He had ears on, and I had them with me. My job was to get you tapped in so you could hear it all. We figured once we got Kensi to spill how she really felt about you and having you as a partner, you'd have heard the words without her having to say them to you. Then you'd understand how she really feels. And that would…"
"Fix things," said Deeks grimly.
"Yeah. That."
There was another long silence. Sam was thoughtful, a hint of regret on his face. Deeks was trying to calm down enough to discuss this with Sam without resorting to what he really wanted to do, which was punch something. Hard. Eventually he thought he had it under control enough to speak.
"The thing is, Kensi already had a lot going on." Deeks' voice was tense, terse. "I knew that. She had a lot of personal stuff going on. I knew that. She and I had worked on some of our issues. I knew that too. We were working it out ourselves in our own way and our own time. And I knew that. Why didn't you just come and ask me before you went off on some harebrained middle school girl's scheme to try and force things between us? Do you have any idea what kind of damage you did today? Do you even know what you did to her?"
"Don't blame Sam." Callen's voice was soft, barely audible, but it brought both men to their feet.
"G, don't sweat it," said Sam. "It's no big deal. You need to rest. Don't think about it."
Callen ignored him. "Deeks, we didn't intend to cause any further trouble between you two. We thought we were helping."
"Sam's right," Deeks said, moving to the other side of the bed. He couldn't take his anger out on Callen, now when he was in this kind of shape. "Don't try to talk. You should be resting."
Just then, there was a quiet tapping at the door. A pretty blonde nurse stuck her head in. "I'm looking for an Agent Deeks?"
Deeks was quick to respond, not bothering to correct her about his title. There was only one reason a nurse would be looking for him here. "You have news about Agent Blye?"
The nurse smiled reassuringly. "She's in recovery now. The doctor is waiting to talk to you, and then you can go back and see her yourself."
The first thing Kensi was aware of was the smell. Antiseptic and bleach and that certain distinctive smell that indicated one thing. Hospital. She opened her eyes slowly, cautiously, squinting a little in the obnoxiously bright sunshine that filled the room.
"Kens?" She turned her head slowly to the left as Deeks got to his feet, a painfully anxious look on his face. He took her hand and squeezed it. "Hey there, partner. Glad you finally decided to join us."
She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing but a choked mutter emerged. "Oh, hey, you're probably thirsty." She realized when he spoke just how right he was, and she was pathetically grateful when he retrieved a cup of ice water from beside her bed and then lifted her up enough that she could take a long drink.
"Better?" he asked softly, laying her gently back on the bed..
She nodded, then carefully cleared her throat. "Better." Her voice was rusty and unused, but it worked. "What happened?"
"You don't remember?" She shook her head slowly. "Well, let's see….we got the bad guys. Most of them anyway. Turned out Ricky Castille was actually the leader of the pack. Feds are searching his house and business with a fine-toothed comb, and they've come up with enough to convict him a thousand times over. But he'll be facing judgment on a higher court, I guess." He paused, swallowed hard. "He managed to get a shot off, though. It hit you when you….you jumped in front of me. That was yesterday."
He paused again, watched as memory flooded her eyes. She squeezed his hand now, a hint of urgency in her gaze as she spoke. "You okay?"
He was able to smile at the role reversal. "I'm fine. And since I only say that when I actually mean it, you can take it to the bank."
"What happened to Castille?" Her voice hardened. "I don't know how much you heard, but he's the one who killed my dad."
"They haven't recovered his body yet."
"Did you kill him?"
Deeks face was carefully neutral now. "I did."
She was silent for a long moment as she took it in, then she relaxed visibly. "Thank you."
"Anytime, partner." Deeks watched as her face clouded over, wondering what she was thinking now. "Hey…what's wrong? Are you in pain? Is something hurting?"
"No, I'm fine."
His own expression grew grim. "Clearly you're not. I'm going to get the doctor. Or a nurse. Or someone." The door opened as he turned, and McGarrett stuck his head in, peeking over a huge bouquet of some kind of native tropical flower.
"Am I interrupting?"
"No, you're not," said Kensi, trying to appear normal. Or at least as normal as possible for someone who'd been shot. "Please, come in. Deeks, would you give us a minute?"
"Sure," said Deeks, trying to sound like he meant it. "I'll just go check on Callen."
Kensi waited until she was sure Deeks was gone before she began sitting up. "I need your help," she said to McGarrett, gasping a little as a sharp pain shot through her shoulder. "And I need you to keep this to yourself."
Deeks gave her an hour just to be on the safe side. He stopped at the nurse's desk long enough to tell her he thought Kensi was in pain, and then he headed off to Callen's room. Callen and Sam were both asleep this time, so after sticking his head in he let the door slip shut and headed off to the cafeteria where he bought some spectacularly bad coffee—so bad it caused him to remember LAPD precinct coffee with fondness and affection—and then carried it out to a small alcove with a reflecting pond complete with a tiny water fall and a miniature bench set amongst lush greenery and exotic blooms. It wasn't quite as relaxing as surfing, but it was a pleasant way to spend a few minutes.
Any lasting relaxation disappeared the moment he opened Kensi's door to discover that she was gone and a hospital staff member was methodically stripping her bed.
"Where did she go?" The woman looked blankly at him. "Agent Blye? The woman who was in this bed? Where is she? Did they move her?"
"I guess they either moved her or she checked out," the woman said, shrugging. "I'm getting the room ready for the next patient."
Deeks took a moment to utter a few choice words under his breath, then headed for the nurse's desk. He said a few even more choice words after he discovered that Kensi had in fact checked herself out, under the doctor's very strong objections. "What in the hell was she thinking?" he said, mostly talking to himself, but one of the nurses answered him anyway.
"She was with that other officer. McGarrett, I think his name was?"
Deeks stared at the nurse a long moment, absorbing that while his eyes narrowed and his face tightened. The nurse, after a quick look at his expression, took two steps back, then found somewhere else to be, and Deeks turned and walked down the hallway, heading towards the hospital's exit.
This was not how this was going to end.
He made a quick call on his way out to the rental. "Eric, I'm going to need you to locate Kensi for me. And while you're at it, see if you can find a local yokel that goes by the name McGarrett."