Well this has now been beta'd. Hopefully some of you will see a difference. I was supposed to check through it for anything else that I missed but I did that before I sent it, and to be honest I really just can't read through my own work. I don't know why, I just can't do it. I stop paying attention to it without realizing. It does get weird sometimes though, since my Beta's American, I'm English, and we have different ways of spelling some things. This fic has basically turned out multicultural.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach or a lot of other things. At the rate my siblings are making me spend money I really don't think I'll ever be able to afford them either.
Almost the entirety of the Soul Society had witnessed the rising pillar of Ice caused by Hitsugaya's attack. Shinigami had stopped working, eating, chatting and even drinking as they witnessed the giant pillar of probable death rise high into the sky, a symbol to all of them that a great battle against a powerful foe had started. They all knew who had created that pillar, and they all knew only a truly powerful opponent could cause him to use that attack. Not a single shinigami spoke as the contemplated what kind of terrifying adversary the diminutive captain was up against.
"GAAAAAAAAAH, PLEASE LET GO OF THEM!"
The scream shattered the silence like a cannonball would shatter a ship. So the ship would still be standing and more or less alright but the blast would still be pretty noticeable. But before the shinigami could guess as to the nature of the scream, another loud shrill cry pierced the air.
"PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SQUEEZING, THINK OF MY HYPOTHETICAL UNBORN CHILDR- GAAAAAAH. DON'T STAB ME THERE, I NEED THAT LUNG. THEY WORK A LOT BETTER WHEN THERE'S TWO OF THEM!"
A few shinigami blinked as they finally caught on to just what the voice screaming about, and as many male shinigami placed their hand over their male pride… or embarrassment for some of them.
"PLEASE STOP, I SURRENDER, I'LL BE GOOD JUST PLEASE- GAAAAH I SAID I SURRENDER! WHY ARE YOU STILL STABBING ME?"
Naruto was aware that he probably looked ridiculous to the outside observer, running around like a headless chicken trying to avoid a very messy demise curtsy of one outraged Soi-fon. Judging by Hitsugaya's gawking face, he probably looked very silly indeed. The young man was probably confused, which was understandable. Just a few minutes ago he'd been going toe-to-toe with Soi-fon in her funky white energy mode thing. But what he didn't know was that Naruto had a very large weakness other than ramen. And that was an angry female. He had no idea why but when a girl got angry with him, then all thoughts of fighting back seemed to leave his head completely, and he became both slower and weaker in their presence. It was for this reason he was suffering from a very bad and literal case of blue balls, as soon after his incredible attack which he liked to perform now and then in homage to his late teacher, Soi-fon and turned and glared at him before making her move. And despite the fact he should have been more than fast enough to dodge, get out the way; or even swap himself with a clone, Naruto failed to do anything about Soi-fon's assault except scream as her hand latched on to a very sensitive space, squeezed down hard and twisted. She wasn't done though, as next she plunged Suzumebachi deep into his chest creating a hole that was ironically symmetrical to his hollow hole. Once he'd finish screaming about that too he'd been able to kick her away and force her to release his precious body parts before quickly diving to the ground to avoid her next attack, a powerful blow that no doubt would have taken of his head. Huffing and puffing, he'd then focused on regenerating his chest where his new hole was. As well as regenerating his family jewels, an experience that he had no wish to ever have to do again.
"Stay still so I can kill you!" barked Soi-fon, shooting at him again. Her arm came in a wide arc, which Naruto bent over backwards as it sailed overhead.
"Staying still doesn't sound like a good health plan," Naruto rebuked with a hint of fear in his voice as he watched her sail on by.
Both Naruto and Soi-fon spun to face the other, and Naruto soon found himself dodging and weaving around a plethora of attacks, gaining quit a few nicks as he went. Naruto jumped over her and landed a kick to the back of her shoulder, sending Soi-fon crashing to the ground.
"You know, usually I like the feisty ones. But to be honest, this is a little ridiculous."
It was then he noticed an abundance of butterfly tattoos covering his body. Luckily, none of them were crossing over any of the others. Unforunately, one more attack and there was little chance it wouldn't be a deadly one.
Naruto's head quickly snapped up as he heard a growl. He watched as the petite captain he was fighting slowly pushed herself back up onto her legs. There was an odd creaking sound in her arms as she did so too.
"A creature like you, who has no sense of honour or values. A creature like you just needs to die!" she spat at him as she levelled him with a glare.
Naruto inwardly flinched at her words, but none the less raised an eyebrow.
"Honour and values? I thought you were like a ninja or something."
His only response was another growl from the enraged captain.
"As soon as I get my desk down from the ceiling and I get about to redecorating, I'm going to mount your head in my office. Just as soon as I cut the thing off."
Naruto flashed her a grin, before taking a new pose where he was balancing on one leg and crossing the other behind it while crossing his arms, but placing one hand on his chin.
"Find me good looking do ya? Want to look upon my face every single day? Well don't worry you wouldn't be the first. Yes indeed it can sometimes be a curse to be this good looking, though I never did quite understand what Sasuke had against fangirls. But alas, I too eventually fell under their curse. But do not worry little bee, I won't condone you for it. I fear it may simply be impossible for the fairer sex to not find me so incredibly attractive."
He didn't get chance to say anymore as Soi-fon pushed off with a roar of anger, blazing with a white trail through the air as she closed in on him. Naruto quickly substituted himself with a clone in the crowd, sending a silent plea of thanks to the clone as it dispelled after Soi-fon rammed her fist through its neck.
"Now now, let's all calm down. If you carry on waving that thing around, you're going to poke someone's eye out."
Naruto was very relieved he'd managed to get himself back under control. Any longer and he might have died. Speaking of…
Naruto quickly dived to the side, just in time to avoid a massive blade that crashed into the stage where he'd just been standing. He hit the ground in a roll and quickly stood back up.
Looking behind him he found a very much enraged captain Komamura. He may have been wearing a helmet, but the anger coming of him was so palpable that everyone in the crowd could feel it.
"YOU!" he shouted before swinging his Zanpakuto again, causing a ghostly apparition of a giant arm holding a sword appeared and sped towards Naruto.
"Me?" said Naruto with confusion in his voice, before jumping to the side to avoid the massive ghostly sword.
"HOLY COW, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!"
Komamura seemed to ignore him though.
"You vile monster. I will not excuse your actions!" roared Komamura as he swung again, Naruto once more dodging to the side as another ghostly appendage tore into the stadium where he'd just been standing.
"What the hell did I do?" Naruto asked, once again avoiding imminent death. He noticed Soi-fon seemed to be struggling to stand now. That super white mode thing she did must have taken a toll on her.
"You know very well what you did!" Komamura roared out. "You shaved all my…"
Suddenly becoming aware of what he was going to say, Komamura halted his speech just as everyone else keyed into to what he said.
"Did he shave all your hair off Captain Komamura?" asked Hitsugaya as he walked up beside the captain, only to be greeted with a growl.
"It doesn't matter in this moment, but what does is we bring this vile monster to justice."
Hitsugaya frowned. He didn't like the hollow but he could see it wasn't a monster. Just really annoying.
"Right, but remember that his capture takes priority. Killing him is a last resort." Hitsugaya said back with a tone of warning in his voice.
Komamura just grumbled something inaudible before nodding.
"Very well then. Let's get to it. This hollow isn't going to capture itself."
Ichigo was enjoying dinner when Rukia's hollow alarm went off.
"Haven't they turned that off yet?" he asked between mouthfuls of his rice. Rukia herself was giving the mobile phone a thoughtful look.
"I thought they did. I haven't received any other notifications of hollow activity at all this week. This is strange."
"Indeed it is," said Urahara seemingly popping up from under the table. "I'll look into it for you. In the mean-time why don't you two go take care of that?"
Urahara was so caught up in his pop, he only just noticed the strange looks that Ichigo and Rukia were giving him.
"What?"
"What were you doing under the table," asked Ichigo threateningly. Even though the bit of rice on his face severely diminished how threatening the boy's glare seemed.
"Oh, I was just scouting," replied Urahara cheerfully.
"Scouting," asked Rukia, with a raised eyebrow and doing her best to hold back her fury. "And what exactly where you scouting, because I swear if you were trying to peak up my skirt I'm going to take what makes you a male and put it through a meat grinder."
Urahara visibly paled although the smile never left his face.
"Oh no no no, I would never do that. Why I'm just a simple candy store owner, I would never intrude on your decency like that. Just what do you take me for?"
"A pervert," the two answered in sync. "So what were you doing then?"
"Ah I was just waiting for you two young lovers to lock lips so I could capture the magical moment on camera," answered Urahara honestly, slipping his hand up his sleeve and taking a camera out. "But now it seems like we don't have time. That hollow has already left to go on a rampage for a full minute. You two should really get on that."
Ichigo leveled Urahara with a glare.
"We're not like that you perv, and this isn't over."
With that Ichigo quickly got up, followed swiftly by Rukia.
"Alright Ichigo, let's go and take care of this."
With that the two quickly left.
Not even five minutes later, the two arrived at an open field where the hollow was supposed to have appeared.
It didn't take them long to spot it considering it was massive and covered in fur. A giant blade was slung over its back. But the most curious feature it possessed was the pair of eyes that peeked out from within the mask. It swiftly spotted them.
"Ichigo Kurosaki, at last" the huge hollow seemed to hiss. "Stay right there so I can slaughter you."
The pair watched as the huge hollow threw a hand over its back, and withdrew the skyscraper sized sword.
"Do I know you?" asked Ichigo curiously.
"Oh how you wound me," the creature laughed, dropping his arm to the side, and allowing his sword to cut deep into the land. "Why not too long ago you were screaming about how you were going to kill me and avenge your dear dead mother."
Ichigo's eyes widened.
"Grand Fisher," Ichigo spoke. "B-but how?" he couldn't help the confusion in his voice.
"Hmm, foolish human. I'll tell you how. I have transcended the limits of hollow kind and took a step into the realm of the soul reapers."
With this, the massive creature held it's sword out before them.
"Gaze upon my Zanpakuto and know fear, puny mortal. One's Zanpakuto can be used to measure their spiritual energy. The size of my blade alone should tell you that you are no match for me."
Ichigo turned to Rukia for confirmation. To his relief, she shook her head.
"Although what he said is true, most captains refine their Zanpakuto to a more manageable size. The reason that your Zanpakuto broke against my brother and Naruto is that you didn't do this. By shrinking the blade the spirit particles become more compact and the blade itself more powerful. If that truly is a Zanpakuto, then it will most likely be rather brittle."
That cheered Ichigo up some.
"Alright fish face, let's do this," roared Ichigo, removing Zangetsu from his back and holding it out in front of him. Slowly, the bindings came off the blade and Ichigo's spiritual pressure was released. Grand Fisher's eyes widened in surprise as the spiritual pressure reached its peak and he was forced to take a few steps back.
"Im-impressive Kurosaki; but with a blade that tiny, you will never beat me!"
With that, Grand Fisher let out a roar before bringing its massive blade down directly on top of Ichigo's head. In response, Ichigo simply moved his own blade so it was directly over his head. The two blades met with a resounding clang and Grand Fisher's blade stopped in its tracks.
"Hmph, how foolish," Rukia commented from off to the side. "To underestimate his opponent so thoroughly, how foolish this hollow is. Go now, Ichigo. Avenge your mother."
Ichigo let an uncharacteristically blood-thirsty grin cross his face.
"Right."
Head Captain Yamamoto could honestly say he'd never been more surprised than in that moment. It was supposed to be impossible. Not even by an act of God should the sight before him have ever been made a reality. But no, it had actually happened. Naruto Uzumaki had actually been captured, and was sitting in front of him, hands and feet in cuffs and a cloth in his mouth.
"Report," the old captain barked. To no one's surprise, Komamura stepped forward.
"Head Captain, Naruto Uzumaki has been successfully captured. He was originally engaged in combat with Captain Hitsugaya and Captain Soi-fon, with myself later joining in on the battle. However despite this, we had no luck in his apprehending. However, soon after Captain Unohana arrived. Uzumaki surrendered the second she joined the battle." Komamura finished, anger still laced in his voice.
Yamamoto almost allowed himself to let out a sigh. Of course he wouldn't just be captured, he had allowed himself to be captured. For a moment there he'd thought the universe had broken apart or something similar.
"Very well then, if that is all."
Surprisingly, Soi-fon stepped forward.
"Head Captain, I request permission to kill the captive."
"Denied," replied Yamamoto automatically.
Soi-fon cursed under her breath, but then perked up.
"Head Captain, I request permission to inflict a grievous wound on the captive."
"Denied," repeated Yamamoto, followed by another muffled curse from Soi-fon.
"Then how about permission to kick him really hard in the face?"
Yamamoto was about to say denied again before he thought about it. 'Best to let whatever's getting to her out of her system' he thought.
"Granted," he said.
And just like that a bright smile, an actual bright smile incredibly appeared on Soi-fon's face. Without another word, she spun on her heel and smashed her foot into the gagged Naruto's face. There was a burst of blood as Naruto's nose caved in before the hollow was sent flying back down to the other end of the Captain's hall and smashed into the wall with a thud.
"Ah, that felt good," said Soi-fon. Yamamoto just shook his head. Apparently the young looking hollow had driven one of his most serious and disciplined captains insane.
"Hey hang on a sec."
And just like that Naruto appeared in the middle of the captains, still cuffed but without the gag.
"Something wrong here. It's like the arrogant prick factor has been reduced by about forty percent since the last time I was here. Hey, wait a second...Where did Byakuya go?"
Looking around, every single captain was present except the aforementioned captain.
"The spiritual pressure of the human believed to be Ichigo Kurosaki was picked up earlier," answered Yamamoto, surprising most captains that he was even answering at all. "Another minor pressure was picked up alongside him, along with one which belongs to a hollow. We believe the minor pressure to be Rukia Kuchiki. As such, Captain Byakuya has left to retrieve his wayward sister."
Naruto's eyes widened.
"God damn it, now I've got to go save them. Well, thanks for telling me Grandpa. I'll see you guys later."
Before anyone could react, a black hole appeared next to Naruto and he jumped inside it, the whole closing up straight after.
The whole room lapsed into silence.
"How strange," said Kurotsuchi. "I was under the impression that a Garganta could not be opened within the confines of the Sereitei. Ho, that hollow will prove to be a most interesting research subject indeed."
The captain then left, leaving the other captains to their silence. Eventually, it was Zaraki who summed up what they were all thinking.
"So if he can do that every time we capture him, then how the hell do we really capture him?"
The great hulking figure of Grand Fisher soon found itself on its backside, struggling to block another swing from Ichigo. The next one cleaved right through his sword and left a deep gash running vertically down the left side of his body.
"Damn...Damn you Kurosaki! How could you possibly be so strong? It doesn't make sense. It hasn't even been a month since our last fight, so how are you so strong?" the creature bellowed.
Ichigo heaved his sword onto his shoulder and gave the Grand fisher a cocky smirk.
"You shouldn't worry about that," he told the Grand Fisher. "What you ought to worry about is what I'm going to do to you now that I've cut that giant piece of tinfoil you call a blade down to size. I think it's time I showed you just how strong I really am."
Never losing his cocky smirk, Ichigo held his blade high above his head as he revelled in the feeling of his energy. His spirit energy became visible and coiled around him, soaking into his blade.
"Wha-what are you doing," gasped Grand Fisher, unconsciously taking a step back from where Ichigo stood.
"I'm doing what I should have done months ago. I'M ENDING YOU! GETSUGA TENSHO!"
With his mighty war cry, Ichigo brought his blade down that caused a blue stream of energy to erupt in front of him. It travelled its distance fast, barely giving the Grand Fisher time to scream before the energy consumed him. There was a massive explosion of light that seemed to erupt upon contact with the hollow, kicking up a mass amount of dust and dirt that blinded everyone to the hollow's demise.
Ichigo stood with his blade held out ready, just in case Grand Fisher had somehow managed to survive. A moment passed in silence, with nothing happening. A moment later, Ichigo gave a sigh of relief, heaving his blade onto his shoulder and allowing a smile to appear on his face.
"DIE!"
Ichigo jumped back, trying to bring his sword back to the front as the scared and heavily damaged form of Grand Fisher emerged from the dust. The hollow's entire right side was burnt black, and his whole right arm missing. Ichigo managed to avoid Grand Fisher's lunge and brought his sword to bare, pointing the sword at the creature.
Ichigo tensed as Grand Fisher prepared to lunge once more. Just as he was about to swing his blade, Grand Fisher stopped with his eyes bulging. Before Ichigo could react, the Grand Fisher erupted into waves of blood, spraying from numerous lacerations that seemed to just appear on him. Before Ichigo's eyes, the gigantic form began to disintegrate; revealing the distinct figure of Byakuya Kuchiki standing behind him, giving Ichigo a cold look.
"Big brother," Rukia whispered, her eyes wide at his appearance.
Ichigo returned the glare.
"Damn you Byakuya, that Hollow was mine to kill," snarled Ichigo.
Byakuya didn't really respond, but instead simply continued to walk slowly saunter towards them. Once he was just a few feet away, he spoke.
"I care little for your words Ichigo Kurosaki," the noble captain relied. "However, as I will most likely end your life in but a few moments, I will allow you a last peace. Speak quickly."
Ichigo just growled, gripping his sword tightly as he prepared to wipe the smug look from Byakuya's face.
"Big brother," shouted Rukia, suddenly appearing between the two males, with her arms spread wide as if to cover for Ichigo. "Please, you have to listen. This entire matter has been-,
"Enough Rukia," Byakuya said, not taking his eyes away from Ichigo. "You have caused enough trouble. Whatever it is you have to say, it can wait until we return to the Soul Society. In the meantime, I have to put down a stray dog."
As if to confirm the statement, Ichigo growled low in his throat.
"Whatever Byakuya. You won't be killing me today, and you won't be taking Rukia anywhere."
With that, Ichigo disappeared into a flash step, appearing next to Byakuya and swinging his blade heavily at his neck. Byakuya simply held his own blade out, stopping Ichigo's blow in its tracks.
"You have gotten better Kurosaki, but you are still a far cry from attaining the prowess of a captain."
BYakuya seemed to flick his wrist and Ichigo was sent hurtling backwards. Quickly he dug his feet into the floor, leaving deep gouges in the tarmac as he slowed himself down.
"Don't underestimate me Byakuya, I'm a lot stronger now compared to the last time we fought."
Ichigo held his hand up over his head and began to concentrate his energy into his blade. Soon he seemed to be glowing with bright Reiatsu, and Ichigo was satisfied to see Byakuya's eyes widen by the tiniest of margins.
"I'll show you what I can really do Byakuya," said Ichigo, with a fiery determination. "Getsuga Tensho!"
Just like last time, a blind arm of bright light exploded from Ichigo's blade as he swung it, hurtling at incredible speed towards Byakuya who seemed to disappear into the debilitating light.
Ichigo panted heavily, having let off a second large blast so soon after the first. His danger senses seemed to warn him quickly that something was wrong. He brought up his sword to his right quickly just as Byakuya appeared, no worse for wear and thrusting his sword towards Ichigo's neck. The two blades met with a clang, and Ichigo was hard-pressed to offset the force behind Byakuya's blow.
"I am not underestimating you," Byakuya told him dryly. "I acknowledge that your strength has increased drastically in a short time. However, it is still at the level of a third seat at most. In time, perhaps you could have reached a captains level, but with all the potential that you may have, I'm going to have to snuff it out here."
With that, Byakuya's arm seemed to disappear into a second swing, Ichigo just barely moving his sword in time to counter it. He had to move again as Byakuya's sword moved in an overhead arc, aiming to cut Ichigo straight down the middle. Zangetsu barely made it in time to block the blow, and even then Ichigo found it difficult to hold back the blade.
"Do you see now the difference between us?" asked Byakuya in an uncaring tone. "I have not even released my Zanpakuto yet you are already struggling to keep up when your own is already in its Shikai state. You have no chance against me boy."
Ichigo gritted his teeth, determined not to lose, even as Rukia ran close to them.
"Brother, please stop this," she called out. "Please you have to listen to us!"
Byakuya didn't spare his sister a second glance as he swung his sword once more in order to parry Ichigo's counter attack. He raised an eyebrow when he registered the power behind the blow.
"Alright let's go!" Ichigo yelled, before he spun on his heel and held his sword out, swinging it back around and using the motion of his spin to add more force to the blow. Byakuya quickly blocked but was surprised when he was actually forced back. He quickly raised his sword again to block another attack by Ichigo who seemed to revitalize as soon as Rukia came near. Byakuya swung his blade at the same time as Ichigo, causing the two to clang loudly. A split-second later the two jumped apart.
"Okay Byakuya, A.K.A the worst brother ever. I think it's about time I laid down some family therapy lessons for you. Lesson number one. When your little sister begs you to listen to her, you FREAKIN LISTEN!"
Having said that, Ichigo shot forward and slammed his blade into Byakuya's with enough force to actually drive him back.
"Lesson number two," continued Ichigo. "An older brother protects their younger siblings. It's their duty. So when Rukia is in trouble then it's your job to protect her!"
Ichigo swiped his sword, seemingly flickering Byakuya off.
"Final lesson!" roared Ichigo as he closed in on Byakuya. "Older siblings never try to hurt their younger ones. Especially not in FRONT OF ME!"
Once again Ichigo swung his sword down towards Byakuya, only this time his sword was glowing a bright blue.
"GETSUGA TENSHO!"
"Hado number four, Byakurai."
Before the wave of blue energy could erupt from Ichigo's sword, a beam of blue energy left Byakuya's finger, quickly piercing straight through Ichigo's chest just above his heart. Ichigo's eyes widened as he could feel the blood rushing up his throat. Suddenly, his legs felt like giving out and his attack shot of course, just missing Byakuya who had made no attempt to avoid it.
"That was impressive Kurosaki, but your words are meaningless. I am of noble birth, so I won't expect you to understand my actions. Now please desist from struggling, so you may die with what dignity you have left."
Ichigo tried to answer, but blood quickly clogged his throat, and he quickly put a hand to his mouth just as it rushed out, the red liquid seeping through his fingers. He plunged the tip of Zangetsu into the ground to use as support and levelled a glare at Byakuya.
"Brother please you have to listen," Rukias begged, trying once more to appeal to her older brother. "Things aren't what they seem. Please just hear us out!"
Byakuya sighed and closed his eyes.
"There is no need. The hollow that saved you last time has already pleaded your case to the head captain. But there is no proof of anything, and the words of a hollow and a criminal mean very little in the face of things. Simply give up Rukia. Do not sully yourself any further with this shameful act."
Byakuya raised his sword, levelling it with Ichigo's face.
"I will first kill this mongrel, and then we will return to the Soul Society. I assure you I will be much more thorough than last time."
Ichigo hacked coughing up the last of the blood before straightening his back and doing his best to stand up straight.
"If you expect me to just roll over and die for you Byakuya, then you're going to be disappointed. I haven't lost yet, and you're not taking Rukia anywhere," Ichigo bit back through blood stained teeth.
"I won't fall here. I'll protect her with my life, and I won't lose to the likes OF YOU!"
With a final roar, Ichigo pushed off. His sword coming to the forefront and swiping down fast yet hard. Byakuya put his own sword forward, both hands on the hilt. To his surprise, he was pushed backwards the second Ichigo slammed into him. He tried to dig his heels in the ground and push against Ichigo's momentum, but it did him no good.
'His spiritual pressure is rising,' Byakuya noted to himself, before suddenly giving up his attempt to struggle against the juggernaut that Ichigo had seemingly become. His feet skimmed the ground, then he was gone, leaving Ichigo to stumble forwards. Ichigo quickly wiped his head around doing his best to try and locate Byakuya before finally spotting him a short distance off.
"Flash step, or Shunpo as some call it. The ability to cover a distance with a single step. It is ability's like this, as well as the art of Kido and the elegance of my sword play that make up the true difference between us. Even if you somehow were to surpass me in power, you could never defeat me, Kurosaki."
In a moment, Byakuya was behind him. Ichigo was able to follow his movements, but he barely had any time to move. Byakuya's blade cut through his shoulder like butter. An instant later, it was plunging towards him again. Suddenly Byakuya disappeared, just in time to avoid a burning blue arrow made entirely of energy.
Ichigo quickly looked in the direction of the arrows origin and spotted Ishida Uryu adjusting the glasses on his nose.
"You are far too presumptuous, shinigami. Did you honestly think that Ichigo would be the only resistance you would encounter?"
Byakuya found himself having to move once again as a beam of energy burnt through the space he'd just been standing.
"Ichigo, are you okay?" asked Orihime as she hurried over, her face scrunched up with worry as she noticed the various wounds he'd amassed. Chad was following slowly behind her, his fist cocked back as if getting ready to deliver another attack. He nodded slowly in Ichigo's direction.
"It would seem there are quite a few of you. I hate to use the simile, but it's like you are crawling through the woodwork like roaches. But in the end this doesn't change anything. It simply means that more of you will pointlessly lose your lives," Byakuya stated calmly.
"Oh no they won't," stated a cheerful voice, and Byakuya was once again forced to move as the ground where he'd been standing exploded. Once the dust cleared the group was able to make out the smiling face of Naruto, who was smiling around at the group. "Hi guys, it's been a while."
"Hey you're…" stated Orihime as she saw Naruto.
"The yellow flash the punched through that hollow," finished Chad.
Naruto grinned to himself when Chad unknowingly referred to him by his father's old moniker.
"Naruto Uzumaki, the Prankster God of Huecco Mundo and the friendly neighborhood savior of damsels in distress. Which in this case really means Ichigo more than anyone else," the blond said with a bow.
"Hey, who you calling a damsel," Ichigo bellowed.
"Oh shush," Naruto said, waving Ichigo off. "You're not my type so don't get your knickers in a twist. Anyway Byakuya, do you really still want to fight? Because believe me, I won't be holding back this time."
Byakuya stared at the hollow for a moment before closing his eyes in thought.
"It seems the situation has become unfavorable. I will retreat for now."
As he said this, a Sekaimon opened up behind him.
"You should prepare yourselves well. The Soul Society will not take this lying down. From now on, we will be much more persistent in our retrieval attempts. As for you Naruto, I just want you to known those were not my undergarments you replaced with lingerie. I predicted your actions and swapped drawers with my father."
And like that he was gone, through the Sekaimon before anyone could react, completely oblivious to a grinning Naruto.
"I know, that's why I went the extra mile. Only your dad got just lingerie. Everyone else got Orange bra and panties just to make sure."
Omake
"So this is Naruto," said a cheerful Masaki, pointing her long-time friend out to her husband.
"Erm, I can't see spirits anymore, remember," he said, but still looking in the direction she was pointing.
"Oh right. Erm, wait here a sec okay."
She quickly ran off, leaving Isshin to stand there awkwardly by himself. After a few moments he decided to speak.
"Soooo, how long have you known my wife?"
"…"
"Right, a while then. Well by mortal standards," said Isshin, guessing the answer if there even was one.
"So then how-"
"I'm back," cried Masaki cheerfully.
Isshin was about to ask where she went when he found himself having to dodge out the way of a large glob of orange paint.
"What the-," he started but soon stopped when he noticed that the paint had formed into the body of a man. The lips started moving but no sound came out, leaving Isshin to stand there looking confused.
"One last touch," said Masaki before she slapped a piece of paper on the orange man's head.
"Ah great, you should be able to hear me now," said Naruto looking at Isshin. "And Orange, my favorite color! I bet I look rather dashing in Orange. I'm pretty sure I used to wear it a lot back when I was alive. I could be wrong though. It might have been green. I remember someone wore a lot of green. Can't quite remember who though? Shikamaru? Naw it would have made him stand out? Maybe Ino then? Hmm."
"Right so one more time," said Masaki. "This is my long-time friend Naruto. And Naruto this is my husband, Ishhin," she said pointing to Isshin. Then she pointed to a slight bulge in her stomach. "And this is bump."
"Nice ta meet ya Isshi," said Naruto. "And woah Masaki are you pregnant? How did that happen?"
"Well Isshin can explain the last half of the process better than me since he's like a doctor and stuff, but the first part started off with Isshin getting rather gropey one night when we were in bed. And then he started stroking my back. It's kind of a weak point. And then there was a bit of smooching and a good bit of heavy petting too. God he was making me purr. And after that we-,"
"Okay I think that's enough Masaki," stated Isshin covering her mouth with his hand. Never did he think he would have to play the adult, yet here he was.
"Yeah I get the general idea. Next time you should add something to make it a bit steamier. Like Ramen. Ramen can make anything better, especially Sex," said Naruto nodding his head sagely.
"Oh, I didn't think you could even have sex," stated Masaki. Naruto's reply was a shrug.
"The mood hasn't struck me in the last two thousand years, but who knows. If I meet the right person I'm pretty sure little 'Ruto would be willing to play."
Isshin was starting to get freaked out with the topic of conversation. So he decided to change it.
"So I heard from Masaki that you're something of a prankster. You got anything lined up for us?"
Suddenly Naruto's mouth took on a mischievous grin.
"You bet I do. You know Masaki It's a shame you're Aunt moved. This would have been the perfect thing to spring on her."
"I think you scared her off," said Masaki with a giggle.
"Yeah well tonight my friends, we will be pranking the local shopping mall. So keep your eyes peeled, your arms at the ready and your panties on yer butt, because a lot of people certainly won't be."
And with that he marched the two of them off.
A little while later, the two waved Naruto off as he disappeared into a Gargantua.
"See told you he was fun," said Masaki having really enjoyed herself.
Isshin allowed himself a chuckle.
"I'll admit he was a good laugh. You're rather open with him though. I'll admit it made me rather jealous."
Masaki gave a giggle before reaching up on her tip toes and giving him a peck on the lips.
"Don't be jealous silly. He's more liked a big brother than anything else. Besides that you're the one who gets to ravish me all night long."
"Mmm," said Isshin, licking his lips and giving her a lusty look. "And speaking off ravishing, Ramen in the bedroom? Want to give it a try."
Masaki gave a giggle.
"How about we try something that's not so messy first. Like whipped cream and Strawberries. Hey I think I just came up with the perfect name for the baby!"
Just a short Omake at the end there. Sadly this is the last we will be seeing of Masaki for a while. However the Omake's themselves shall continue.
The bit where Soi-fon was requesting Permission to hurt Naruto was something I saw in a Naruto fic called the lazy Uchiha. It's about a different Itachi who stayed in the village and would often request permission to kill, maim, punch really hard in the face or tell bad jokes about people who annoyed him. Of course I did twist it a bit here. I'm not going to simply copy someone. And now for the Poll results!
Yoruichi- 394
Nelliel- 355
Harribel- 303
Soi-fon- 197
Rangiku- 98
Orihime- 96
No Pairing- 79
Nemu- 62
Hiyori- 47
Momo- 47
Cirucci- 22
As You can see The top three are pretty much far out in front. But the poll won't close untill chapter 15. So you still have a while. I know that for some of you your pairing may seem hopeless but if enough of you vote we may just yet see a turn around.
Other than that I want to thank everyone. Even though It's been months since I updated I've still taken a great amount of delight in reading almost daily reviews. I thought they would trickle to a halt. But they didn't! And I cannot thank you enough for the support you have all shown. I will do my best to get the next one out quickly but I hope you understand I am stretched pretty fin and right now the only time I really get is on Wednesdays. Well that's all from me.