I own nothing.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind – Dr. Seuss

Chapter Ten – Wait a minute

Jasper's POV

"Seriously? Does it have to be that far away? I mean what is it like 2000 miles away from here?" she whined now sounded more like the little child than the mother.

"2464 miles to be exact."

"Aren't you Mr. Smarty Pants?"

"Edward was not the only one with a brain. I'm not just a pretty face you know…" I grinned at her completely satisfied that I could get a reaction out of her.

"I know that you are all very intelligent. I mean as many times that you have been through school you should be at least. I just wanted to know why there? Is there no place closer?" she questioned and I could feel her trepidation seeping out of her. She was reluctant to leave Forks for the same reason that I was what if they came back and we were not here? I had planned to stay here longer too but between needing our ids and now with Charlie we had no choice.

"It really isn't that far when you think about it at least for us. We don't need to stop to sleep or eat. Plus we don't exactly drive the speed limit. And no there is no place closer. It is not like we are heading to a mall to pick this up. He moves around a lot and this happens to be where he is at the moment. I would rather not be going there either," I told her thinking that it was the last place in fact that I wanted to be heading. It seemed like the cosmic universe was totally fucking with my mind reminding me of everything that I had and lost.

"Why? Have you ever been there before?"

"You can say that," I told her letting my mind slipping back to a time when I had all the hope in the world that my future would be peaceful and happy, "Philadelphia was where I first met Alice. I ducked into a diner one day and there she was waiting for me. She scolded me for taking so long and I apologized. She then told me that she saw the future and about seeing The Cullen's. She then explained she had seen us both there welcomed into the family living their life style. To say that I was in disbelief would be an understatement but you know how Alice is…she is a force. I don't think she ever asked me if I wanted to come," I let her know. Looking back I could not believe I had just blindly went with her. I think at the time it was that I was so desperate to believe there was something more to this existence than I had seen.

"Was it love at first sight?" she innocently asked me.

"No," I honestly told her which rewarded me a wide eyed shocked look from her as if love came only in one form. I stifled a grin reminding myself how young she was.

"I am not sure when it happened to be honest with you. I never remember having 'I'm in love with Alice' moment. I guess it just happened slowly over time. In the end it did not matter really how or when or why because Alice had seen it so why questioned it?"

Bella's POV

Alice and her predictions. Even after Edward left I never let go of the real hope that he would come back. That belief was based 90% on her vision that I would end like them and 10% based on our love. It seemed ridiculous now that I had based my future on Alice and her subjective futures. Sure in the end I had ended up like them but not in the way I had seen it.

"You can tell me to mind my own business cuz I know it really is none of my business but I was just wondering if when Alice left if she told you what your future held?" I dared to ask him wondering if she had seen our two futures colliding in such a way.

"No she did not tell me this was going to happen if that is what you are asking. I really don't think that she has even seen it now. If she had I have no doubt that at least Edward would have come running if not the whole family," he told me and the look on his face bought my next question to my mind.

"So is that why you did it? Did you think that changing me would bring Alice running?" I demanded and I did not need for him to answer to know the answer since he wore his guilt all over his expressive face.

"That was pretty damn selfish don't you think? To ruin my whole life just to try and fix your marriage," I accused not knowing how to feel about this revelation. It just seemed so pathetic and pitiful. At the same time I knew the depths I would go to get Edward back.

"What life are you talking about? When I found you all you could do was beg me to end it all for you. I don't call that too much of a life. So go ahead and hate me because I changed you without your permission because no one should have that choice taken away but don't pretend that I took you away from anything other than pain and wallowing. Yes changing you was done in hopes of making our way back to our family…our family. They were your family as much as they were mine. Edward only left to protect you from us and this life. No matter how much he loved you he would never have changed you. He was willing to give you up to save your humanity and soul. I don't have the same feelings as he does. So yes I figured that if I changed you there would be no reason that you and Edward could not be together. And then there should be no reason why me and Alice could not be together. I was looking out for both if us," he finished explaining to me and I could not help but think that maybe he was on to something.

"Okay so what is your ideas?" I asked willing to look past and forgive anything if it bought me back to my Edward.

"First we need to go pick up our new ids. After that we are going to have to deal with a problem."

"What kind of problem?"

"When I was checking my email there was one from Chief Swan. They found the bloody clothes I left behind but he does not believe that you are dead. I did not have enough time to really set up your death. I just hoped that it would be enough but it wasn't. He said until he finds a body he is not going to stop looking for you. The email was to my whole family asking if we have seen or heard from you. So not only do we have your father to deal with but now we have to deal with the fact that The Cullen's know that you are missing."

"How could you let this happen? There is no freaking way to fix this. Can you not do anything right?" I accused my temper starting to boil.

"After Edward left I did not care about myself. Yes at the end I just wanted to die but what I did not want was to have my parents suffering because of me. Now Charlie and Renee are going to be left wondering what happened to me for the rest of their lives."

"I'm sorry. We will figure it out. I'll work on it during the road trip."

"Why didn't you tell me right away? I have a right to know what is going on in my life cuz it is still my life. I know it is a favorite past time of you people to make decisions for me but I am not some stupid little girl that needs protecting. In fact for most of my life I have not only taken care of myself but my mother and sometimes my father. I know how to handle crap."

"I was not trying to protect you or make decisions for you. I just did not want you making a rash choice to head over to see Charlie. We have rules. Human are not to know about us. Yes you found out and we allowed that to go on but know it could have ended badly for all of us. You can never tell anyone. Do you understand?" he asked all dramatic.

"Yes Jasper I understand you. I have known about you for a long time now and I have never told anyone before so can you have a little faith in me?"

"You and your faith…"

I just smiled at him. I knew that faith was something you either had or didn't. I never had any until I met Edward. Then I had all the faith in the world. I lost it as if I never had it when he left. Now I was starting to get it back learning that you have to have faith in yourself before you can find faith in others. I had faith in myself and I had faith in Jasper.

"So we go to Philly and pick up the documents then what? We head back here?" I asked of him.

"We can not come back here but I'm not sure where we are going to go. I have been trying to locate The Cullen's but so far nothing. I think though now they might be looking for me."

"Because of the email?"

"Yes. At least I think they will."

"But they might not, right?"

"Maybe."

"Because maybe they really don't care about either of us anymore. No matter what we both want to believe the truth of the matter is it is very possible that they just don't want us. Then what?" I demanded.

"What happened to your faith?" he dared ask me.

"I have faith in me; I even have faith in you but after they all left us for no real reason… just abandoned us to suit themselves so no I have any faith in them. I can't speak for you but not only did I love Edward with my whole being I loved the whole family. All I wanted was to be a part of it. I would have could have never done what they did to us," I explained to him starting to see things that my pain had been blocking me from seeing.

"Neither could I."

"Then why are we fighting to be part of that family again?" I wanted to know. Maybe he saw the answer that was eluding me.

"Because I don't know how to survive without her," he whispered quietly only at vampire volume.

"Then maybe we should be working on that issue instead."

With that I left him. I made my way down the stairs and out to the back yard. The sun was just sliding down the sky dripping low on the horizon.

I could feel my thoughts and emotions all over the place. At a time like this I wished that Jasper could send out strong calming waves. No such luck.

I don't know what was wrong with my messed up vampire brain. Every moment since Edward left me alone in the woods all I had wanted was to be back in his arms. All I wanted was to be part of his family.

Now here was Jasper taking me by the hand leading me towards the one thing I always wanted…or that I thought. Now that I was thinking a little more clearly I was realizing that maybe things had not been as perfect as I saw them.

You just don't leave people that you love no matter the reason. You don't hurt the ones you love no matter the reason. True love does not come and go. It was forever. So if that was the case where was Edward?

Jasper should be asking that same question…where was Alice?