A/N: Thank you all for your reviews as ever! Here be today's chapter. I still own nothing.
Love Is Our Resistance
Because he's in love with you – Isobel
Eventually the sun starts to set and it begins to get a little cold and Elena isn't wearing a jacket so I drive her back home and remind her to be careful who she invites inside. She's obviously already invited Stefan in but there's not a whole lot I can do about that now.
I give her my phone number and I tell her to call me, okay fine I make her promise to call me if she needs anything or if she gets scared or has questions, doesn't matter to me I just make the point that if she needs me I'll come running.
Before she gets out of the car she leans over and presses her lips gently to my cheek, the softest whisper of a kiss for just the briefest of seconds but boy if it doesn't make my heart jump around in a happy dance like a 15 year old child. I don't say anything but I give her a smile and watch as she manoeuvres herself out of my little blue baby.
I love this car, had her for years and if I was down to only having one last possession in the world that I could have forever it'd be this car. Screw books, photographs, little ceramic figurines, for me it'd be this car. I don't often let other people in it though, she's kinda sacred to me but Elena is even more sacred to me so she gets to ride in the car with the big boys. You know what's even better about letting Elena ride in the car? Her scent lingers in the air all around me and it'll be there for days.
I could happily sleep in this car tonight just to be surrounded by that scent, strawberries from her shampoo, coconut from her body lotion, vanilla from her skin and hints of citrusy flowers from her perfume that all combine to create a mouth-watering scent that is just deliciously Elena.
Speaking of, she leans her head back into the car to speak to me again before she leaves
"I'm sorry...about earlier? With Stefan I mean" what is she talking about? She reaches out and lays her hand on my arm gently and now I understand what she's talking about.
"I didn't mean to give you the wrong idea; I was just trying to calm him down and I just. I wanted you to know that I...don't, I don't have feelings for Stefan and I just wanted you to know that okay? Okay good well goodnight then" she rushes out her words and squeezes my arm gently before taking off running for her house.
Well, that was sexy as all hell. Part of me wants to tear off running after her to thank her for confirming what I already believed anyway. Part of me wants to take off running after her and grab and give her the best damn kiss of her sweet short life so that the words 'feelings' and 'Stefan' never cross her mind again.
Part of me wants to rejoice in the fact that she doesn't have feelings for my brother and part of me wants to dance on a table to celebrate the fact that if I didn't know if before I most assuredly do now, this girl is not Katherine and what's more she obviously somehow understands that I very much need her not to be.
Because what she did right there, she didn't need to do that. I have no claim over her. I mean sure we've been weirdly sharing dreams of each other for 60-odd and 17-odd years respectively, but in the grand scheme of things what does that really mean other than that something kinda creepy is going on that we don't know about.
She doesn't belong to me, she's not mine. Hell she doesn't even know that I'm in love with her. So she definitely doesn't need to tell me in no uncertain terms that she feels nothing for my brother. Because if she really wanted to it'd be her choice to feel whatever the hell she wants for Stefan and there's not a sweet damn thing I could do about it.
But she did tell me. Even though she obviously found it embarrassing to talk about her feelings openly with me about it, she did it and she did it for me. She did it to let me know that I don't need to be jealous. That I don't need to worry about my brother stealing her, to let me know that as much as she might now be mine, she sure as hell isn't my brothers' and she sure as hell won't come between us and play us off of each other like Katherine did.
If it's possible I think my love for her just grew. Who knew a heart could contain so much love for one girl? I guess it's true what they say about love, if you let it it'll just keep on growing and growing and your heart will just keep expanding to fit all of the love that you feel.
It's different for vampires; we feel things differently from humans. Everything is heightened when you turn and that never stops. Your emotions can overwhelm you, that's why so many young vampires flip the switch because it's difficult to get a handle on all of the things that you feel.
Guilt becomes a much heavier burden to bear. Grief can turn into never-ending sorrow that puts the deepest of depressions to shame. Anger can amplify to pure unadulterated rage until all you know is fury and the desire to tear the world apart, or tear the person who's angered you apart as the case may be.
But love? Love becomes something that is almost difficult to explain in words. Love becomes a tangled web of emotions, lust, desire, passion, heat, intimacy that combines into something so utterly divine that it's impossible to define.
And if that love is shared, if you are loved in return? Then it becomes all of those words and more. Love like that will change the world. Love like that will rule the world. That love becomes so impossible to untangle that you don't know where one person ends and one person begins so intrinsically are they linked.
Of course it's very fucking rare. To find that one person in a planet of billions? To find that one person that completes you, defines you, frees you, cures you, heals you, all of that stuff? Yeah that's fucking rare.
I don't think I've ever met anyone who has that. I don't much like to use hokey words like 'soul-mates', not least of all because I'm not entirely clear on whether I have a soul or not being an undead creature of the night and all. Think I do, always thought I did really.
Not the point, the point is that they do exist. Might be nigh-on impossible to find them but they do exist. And if you start looking right this second then you might just be lucky enough to find yours. Alternatively you could always track down a vampire, encourage one to turn you instead of eat you and then you've got all of forever to try and find you're one, best of luck to you.
I finally realise that I'm still sitting outside of Elena's house and I don't even know how long I've been sitting here thinking about fucking 'soulmates' and shit but I am still sitting here and now would probably be a good time to drive away. I head for home where I could really do with talking to my brother anyway.
For a change Stefan's actually at home when I get in although whether I should be surprised by this or not I'm not entirely sure because the chances are he's been waiting for me here all day to vent whatever diatribe I'm sure he's been mentally rehearsing since the second I slammed the door on his face this morning.
"Stefan" I greet him as I walk into the living room and pour myself a bourbon, smell it for hidden poison before I take a drink but nope no vervain we are all good, thank god.
"Where is Elena?" he asks looking behind me as if I've somehow managed to sneak her past him.
"Home Stefan I just dropped her off. Don't worry she's alive and kicking I didn't eat her so you can remove the frown-lines from your forehead" and I really don't want to have to go through another one of his whole 'stay away from Elena' gigs, it's getting a little repetitive and a lot annoying so I hope he plans on avoiding that topic of conversation.
"What did you tell her?" he asks me accusingly.
"Oh I didn't need to tell her much of anything brother. Girl's got a very clever brain stored up in that beautiful head of hers. Worked out most of everything all by her little self, 'course you didn't help matters much with your transforming face tricks at dinner on Saturday night. Nice way to get an invite into Elena's house, by the way" I raise my glass towards him in mock congratulations. I'm actually less than thrilled that he has a one way ticket into her house but again I just have to figure that regardless of what's going on with him he will protect Elena, not hurt her.
Stefan looks fractionally surprised that I know about the dinner and his invite and his eyes take on that nasty glint again "yeah that was a lot of fun, dinner" he rolls the word around in his mouth like it's dirty, forbidden but I trust Elena and it's her voice in my head, yes fine it's always been her voice in my head but tonight she's back with her 'I don't have feelings for Stefan' speech so I don't care much about whatever my brother is trying to achieve here.
"Oh yeah good I'm glad. Hey did she tell you that her friend Bonnie is a witch? I figured she's related to Emily from back in the day; last name Bennett and all" don't think I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart just to make conversation with my brother. I do have an ulterior motive. I normally do to be fair but this time it's pretty simple. If I can just get Stefan to lower his guard a little bit, open up to me then I might be able to finally figure out what the hell is wrong with him.
Seems like the best way to get through to him might just be Elena and if I act like I have nothing to worry about, and who the hell's acting, I don't have anything to worry about, then hopefully he'll take off the 'I'm a fucking dick' pants and start acting halfway normal again. At least that's what I'm hoping, figure it's gotta be worth a damn shot.
"Uh no she didn't tell me but I go to school with Bonnie so I worked it out for myself. I don't think it's a good idea for Elena to miss school anymore" he tells me but I think what he actually means is that he doesn't think it's a good idea for Elena to spend prolonged periods of time with me anymore.
"Yeah yeah you're probably right, gotta keep up with the school-work right Stef? Hey, off-topic, where did you get the vervain? Or more to the point where did Uncle Zach may he rest in peace, keep the vervain?" I ask him.
I want to give some to Elena; probably can't hurt to spread it around town a little bit too. I'm fairly certain that Stefan would never compel Elena, he's big on free will my brother but it is Mystic Falls and you never know what's around the corner in this town.
"Follow me" he says and waves his hand towards the cellar stairs, better not be planning on leaving me down there. I follow him all the same and he leads me down to a room off of the cellar and it's just filled with the damn stuff, honestly it's enough to give me a headache.
"Huh, guess 'family' only goes so far when you've got vampires running around in it" I comment to Stefan who is still standing behind me, he smiles wryly and throws me some gloves so I can cut the vervain without burning myself to bits for my troubles.
"Hey Damon, did you ever hear of a vampire who could compel other vampires?" I turn around and study my brother for a second, oddly enough I have heard stories of vampires who can compel their own kind but I can't quite remember where I heard it or who told me but I think that's because I have so much going on in this handsome head of mine right now that it's hard to think straight half the time.
"Yeah maybe, I think so. Why?" I ask him as I walk out and carry the vervain upstairs. I pour myself another drink and then pour one for him as well and pass it to him when he comes back into the living room behind me.
"No particular reason, just with all the vervain I thought it might be an idea to build up our own tolerance to it. If there really are vampires who can compel us out there" he replies with a shrug and it's not the worst idea I've ever heard in the world. Doesn't really sound like the most pleasant idea in the world either. Ingesting vervain would be a bit of a nasty habit for a vampire to acquire really and I don't particularly relish the thought of the stuff burning my throat every day.
"I'll take it under consideration Stefan" I say and raise my glass towards him. Has he met one of these vampires? Seems like an odd thing for him to just come out with really. I mean I know we were beside the vervain and all but still I think I need to try and remember who it was that told me about these vampires in the first place.
Right now though it's really late and it's been a hell of a long day so I'm going to bed. Stefan seems a tad more well, normal, or as normal for Stefan as you get on a good day at any rate so that's probably good enough for tonight.
I send Elena a message before I go to sleep Go to school tomorrow but come over after if you can, I got something for you. D.
Hopefully she'll come. Stefan was right she should be in school but that doesn't mean that I can't use the hours she's not to spend as much time with her as possible. I hear the front door close a little while later as my brother goes out somewhere, probably to hunt down bunny-kins and just before I fall asleep I get a message back from Elena.
I'll be there x