I saw a cute meme that I wanted to try out: basically I asked my tumblr followers to give me a canon/AU setting (though most people submitted prompts lol) and I'd write a three sentence fic.

Abuse of comma splices, semi-colons, colons, parentheses, and run-ons ahoy!

Noehopu IMMEDIATELY after Paradox Ending 5

"Hm, they're gone," Noel astutely observed, before turning to Hope with a certain familiar expression, "and it looks like I'm not leaving anytime soon."

"I do have a rather pressing situation to take care of back inside and you're not leaving anytime soon," Hope fired back pointedly, but when Noel only grinned at him, the Director realized that his retort lacked conviction.

In fact, Hope didn't even protest when Noel dragged him off to the nearest dark corner for the first real private time they had in too long; he had plenty of interns for times like these.

'dissidia' with either cloud or squall

"You two could be related, you know," Noel said slowly, rubbing his chin as he looked between the two men.

Hope and Cloud exchanged confused looks, but it was Hope that dared to ask Noel to further clarify (curse his morbid curiosity!).

Grinning like a puppy with a bone, Noel fluffed up his own hair, picking at the locks to make them stand up in a chocobo crest.

Noel asking bestie Serah how to seduce Hope

"So, Serah," Noel began, leaning over the table inside the little cafe, "in your … uh, culture-time-thingy, how does someone go about getting laid with their person of choice—you know, courtship rules and stuff."

Across from him, Serah raised a brow at the question and Alyssa snorted; both had a pretty good idea who had caught Noel's eye since he wasn't exactly subtle about it.

"Well, Noel, I think you just blasted through the 'courtship,'" Serah answered after a moment, as Hope studiously tried to focus on lunch.

NoeHopu + meeting the parents (canon)

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, there, little guy!" Noel said, sweeping up the chubby toddler waddling past him before the kid wandered into a busy street.

The harried parents rushed up a moment after; with body-sagging relief, the (familiar?) mother reclaimed her child (with some difficulty, as the toddler had taken a possessive liking to Noel's shiny necklace) and scolded the laughing boy as best she could through unshed tears.

Noel blinked at the name the mother called her son, but when she turned to thank the time-traveller for his help, he just ruffled the child's cowlick and said, "I wouldn't worry too much; I'm sure he'll grow up to be someone you'll be incredibly proud of."

Noel reminding Hope to eat

Flick, pause, flick, pause, flick, flick, flick, pause, flick, pause, flick, flick; his office lights flashed on and off in an arrhythmic strobe, and so it had been for the last ten minutes.

Flick, flick, pause, flickflickflick, pauseflick, flick, flick, pause, flick; Hope could feel the irritation balling at the back of his skull, a slowly building pressure as he struggled to concentrate on the important reports arrayed across several tablets spread about him.

Pause, pause, pause (did he give up?), flickflickflickflickflickflickflickflick: "Yes, all right, fine, I'll eat something," Hope conceded in exasperation and Noel smirked.

Noel sewing a rip in his pants in front of Hope (make it risque)

"Ah, so that's how you do it?" Hope murmured into Noel's ear, watching strong hands work needle and thread through dark blue fabric.

"Yeah, just spread the fabric open where the hole is, and then you just push it in firmly and pull it out—ah, dammit!"

"Hmm," Hope hummed as Noel's full mouth sulked at him from around an injured finger.

fang teasing noehopu

"Ah, looks like he got ya," Fang drawled with a knowing look, and Hope self-consciously slapped a hand to his neck, smothering the red bruise that had been just a bit too high to be hidden by his collar.

"He's just a kid," she advised playfully as pink dusted across pale cheeks, "so you gotta lay down the law with that puppy and smack him a few times if he gets too rough—" but Fang cut herself off when Noel sauntered in; she noted, with a finely arched brow, the red streaks climbing his arms and disappearing up into his sleeves.

"Rough night, eh?" she smirked at the young hunter and Hope coughed loudly.

Noel being horny~ but Lighting catches them~ ?

Noel was missing; this in itself was not unusual, but the lack of Hope certainly was, and Lightning stifled a long-suffering sigh, guessing what had happened.

Her guess was confirmed when she found the two barely contained within a broom closet, the door partially ajar as Noel's tall frame smothered Hope's lithe one inside, hands frantically working at clothes to finish business before anyone noticed the two men were missing.

(Too late), Lightning thought with a frown, but before she could interrupt their amorous adventure with sharp words, she heard a "Not now, Light" and the door was shut firmly in her face; a keen reminder that Hope wasn't quite the fourteen-year-old boy she remembered.

hope/noel in which noel is delirious

Fevered, I wandered long in the shadowlight without direction, passing the ghosts of faces I could almost recognize if I dared call their name with my broken tongue, if the people I had known in my short life remained empty-eyed as their wide mouths curved into fanged smiles, if they had been horrifying and cruel (they all had been horrifying and cruel), yet I sought to touch them anyway, to find something solid and present, but they laughed like wild dogs as my fingers passed through their shade, nothing more than powerless ghosts I carried as a comfort in my mind.

No, no, no, I shouted; better to believe everyone I had known in my short life were dead until they were in front of me, until I could touch them, until I could feel the warmth of the heart that beat blood through their body, until I could feel the whisper of the air they breathed upon my cheek, better to surround myself with death, my intimate lover, with these shadows and their bright, bright grins mocking my inadequacy, these shadows showing the scars of how they died, how they would die, blaming me because I was always the survivor, and even now I knew I would survive, but who would die so I could live?

"Noel," the soft voice cut through the shadows and they flitted away, squealing in distress, and beyond their panicked silhouettes I saw faded green eyes lined with worry, fringed by disheveled pale hair; with trembling, moist fingers, I touched the delusion to find it warm and real.

coffee shop AU

Hope was a rather handsome man, so he was used to picking up on the signals of flirtation and admiration from the people he interacted with.

But somehow he failed to notice the signal from the cute barista who made his coffee every morning; he figured the heart drawn in the latte was just because it was an easy thing to do and that the bright, winsome smile was just because Hope was normally a generous tipper (and he tipped this young man with the enchanting, playful eyes quite generously, because he did make a pretty mean brew and such talent should be rewarded).

Hope finally clued in one day when he received his morning dose of his favorite drug of choice: a phone number carefully inscribed in the milk.

Hope or Noel wind up getting hitched without realizing it until later. Fantasy AU

"We've beaten the dragon, overthrown the evil warlock, stopped a war, freed the kingdom from its enchantment, restored the throne to its rightful heir, and pretty much saved the world for another year," Noel said to the witch, before he waggled his end of the shackle with a long-suffering sigh, "but we still haven't been able to get these off."

The other end of the chain was clamped around the wrist of the (ridiculously hot if a bit too clever for his own good) prince Noel had spent the better part of his sudden, unwanted promotion to "Hero" status protecting (he had quite liked his quiet life as a hunter, thank you very much); Hope sighed in equal measure: "I really miss sleeping in a bed where I don't have to fight for the covers, or taking a bath without being ogled (I don't 'ogle' you, Noel protested a little too defensively), or just enjoy a little quiet time…"

Serah looked between the two and their shackle binding them together; the confusion was evident in her eyes as she asked, "Um, why did you get married then?"

Zombie AU

Noel ran through the streets of pandemonium, screams and gunshots loud in his ears—echoing the ghost of that timeline Serah and he had erased when the Proto fal'Cie had taken over the city—but he ignored them, stopping only to cut down the Cie'th-like, mindless humans (not really human anymore, he grimply laughed to himself) unfortunate enough to get between him and his goal.

As he rushed through the central offices of Academia, he once more berated himself for leaving the city for a week (but then, who had expected this sudden descent into chaos?) and prayed to Etro for a miracle as he passed by empty cubicles and upturned desks, before bursting into Hope's dark office (papers and books scattered over the floor, heavy shades drawn tight against the cacophony outside) and there, hunched over the desk and a laptop, was one of the few people remaining who Noel could call his own, dark smudges like bruises under empty staring eyes, open-mouthed face pale and hair disheveled.

(No, no, no, not you, Hope, this can't be true, you can't have—) and Noel stumbled forward, fingers tightening over the hilts of his dripping blades, unsure of how to proceed, unsure if he could kill what had been someone so precious, before the creature at the desk dropped the fiercest, most familiar scowl on him and said, "Noel, this report is due within the hour, could you come back later?"

Noel teasing about Hope's boomerang before Hope barely even has a chance of introducing himself

"Hope Esthei—"

"Wait a minute," Noel interrupted, stabbing a finger in the stranger's direction, "why do you get an endgame weapon—when we're barely a quarter through this journey—that one-shots a monster Serah and I had to do twice just to five-star—I mean, aren't we the protagonists of this story so why aren't we receiving the OP gear which OHKOs our way to the end of the game; also why didn't you help us earlier or were you just waiting to make a dramatic entrance even though the Historia Crux's preview of this time period already spoiled your appearance?"

"You must be Noel," Hope replied with a flat look, " and the game manual wasn't jesting about your habit of saying whatever's on your mind."