BPOV
March
I had woken up previous times in the night, only to fall back to sleep moments later. I stared at my ceiling and the lilac walls but directly across the ceiling was the top of my bed it was covered in gorgeous flowers that Mo-Esme? Had stuck on herself.
I didn't know what to call her anymore, do I call her Mom or Esme ? I'd love to still call her Mom but she's not my Mom, not my biological one anyway. I've grown up litterally my whole life thinking she was my Mom and I know she is still my Mom but it just seems a little weird now.
I swung my legs over the bed and got out of the covers, I walked out of the room and into the bathroom with a pair of shorts and a white Joan Jett t-shirt.
I had a shower then changed into my clothes and dried my hair leaving it in it's natural curliness and tied it into a ponytail. I threw my used towel into the wash basket and then headed downstairs, where I am sure everyone is waiting. I walked slowly and quietly down the stairs manging to not trip on any of them. I walked into the living room where everyone was sitting either looking down at the floor, T.V or if your Alice gaping at what I had chosen to wear today. I ignored them- well Alice and walked to the kitchen to pour me out some cereal. After pouring it out and getting a spoon I went back into the others and to evryones surprise I sat next to Edward who seemed shocked about this himself. Nobody spoke, the only sound you could hear was me crunching on my cereal. Emmett I guess hadn't liked the awkward silence, stood up pretended to dust himself off then quickly said he was going hunting.
This is how many of my days had gone from then...
April
Everything was still awkward and I didn't like it one bit. I had even become closer to Edward in the past month, okay so it may seem that I haven't really tried to make things better but believe me I have, I had tried to speak to Mom about it on many occasions but every time I opened my mouth nothing ever seemed to come out, but today is was going to do it. It had been a whole month since I had last spoken with her, and quite frankly I missed her.
I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen were I knew for sure she would be. I walked slowly past everyone who just watched me from the corner of their eyes. I ignored their stares and continued on. I could see her shadow moving around in the kitchen and knew I had to do it now or I would never do it. I took a breath and walked in with my head high.
That soon changed once I got in there, my confidence seemed to dissapear, I didn't know what I was going to say even though I had rehearsed it in my head for a month now.
I shook it off and opened my mouth to speak.
"Mo-" But before I could start properly I was cut off.
"Bella hunny, I know what your going to try and say...i've seen and heard you try and tell me, time and time again. You know I still love you and would do anything for you, I wont us to be like we were...i wont us to be a family again" I had no idea of what to say, so I just nodded. I hadn't expected her to say It straight out although that is probably better. She smiled at me and rushed forward before wapping her arms around me, I put my arms around her also and I relished in the moment we shared. The feelings I had kept inside were now free and I never needed to feel them again. I couldn't help but laugh as I thought about this all, although no part of it was ever funny, I felt it the right time to laugh. She loosened her arms and gave me the smile I hadn't seen in so long. She turned me around and sent me back into the living room where the others were all sat with huge grins on their faces. I looked around the room and saw I could either sit on the armchair alone or sit next to Edward, I sat beside Edward. I loved that we were close again but I would never forget the feeling of abondonment I had gained when he left, Jasper would always be my favourite brother, nobody would push him from his pedastal. Edward though, didn't feel like a brother. He felt like something more...But what ?