Part Ten

We slept in late, not that my alarm hadn't gone off; but it had been quickly silenced by a 'snickt' and a gruff Logan muttering in my ear that my clock was broken, and that he'd buy me a better one. I really didn't mind missing my computer lab time; I was one of the few who actually made it on a regular basis anyways.

Eventually though, the sun started lighting up the room, and as warm and as wonderful as it was there, I knew we'd have to get up eventually and certainly before my eleven o'clock class with Scott. And we did need to talk. Sad how the day can sometimes crash reality down onto your chest; the night was close, and personal, and the rest of the world didn't have to exist. Right now I really preferred the night.

Logan started to shift around lazily, taking the opportunity to run his hands over my body.

"You're okay this morning aren't you Marie? I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No Logan, I'm just fine."

"I just didn't know if I was different than other guys, like rougher or anything." He seemed concerned, I was just enjoying the smell of him: sleep and sex and the faint tobacco on his skin. I didn't even really think about my answer.

"I wouldn't know." His body stiffened suddenly. Why he hadn't realized that I'd never been with anyone before I didn't know. I mean, we'd only been able to manage properly because of his healing powers and the uniform fabric, and I'd only just discovered about mutants with fur. Oh God, I hoped he didn't think I'd been with Kurt.

"You mean you were?" he stammered; he was doing a lot of that now a days. I nodded, just a bit afraid when I dared look him in the eyes. "Oh God Marie", not at all the same passion in his voice as the last time he had said that, now it was shock. He pulled me tightly to his chest, wrapped my head in his arms against it and held me in a tight bear hug. I could feel his chest heave. Oh God, he wasn't crying was he? No. That wasn't possible, this was Wolverine, the man who could chomp on a cigar while disemboweling an enemy, and then stop for a sandwich. No. I was deluding myself, I wasn't that important, not worth that. He held me for a few minutes longer, not saying anything and it was killing me.

"Are you angry with me?" I didn't want to hear the answer if it was yes.

"No Marie, of course not. I'm angry with myself."

"Why?" Fair question I figured. "Because if you had known, then what?" My voice got small. "You wouldn't have been with me?"

"I don't know Marie."

"What does it matter Logan?" I could feel anger starting to boil up in me, fueled by the perceived loss of him. I tried to keep my voice steady. "Ok, so maybe I haven't got the same amount of life experience you have, but I've seen my share of horrors. I've seen people die in front of me, hell, I've killed people, and I have been isolated and alone because of this wretched mutation since I was barely a teenager." I could feel my voice and hysteria rising. "Oh, and just to add some excitement to the mix someone decided that I was going to be a critical asset in this upcoming mutant war, so the bad guys are trying to get at me, and the good guys are keeping me under lock and key; and all around I get to watch people getting hurt because of me. Don't you think it has crossed my mind more than once that it would be easier if I just disappeared, went back up north where no one could find me? You can't weaponize someone you can't find, or" my voice got really small, "someone who is already dead. So Logan, in all of that you want to take away the one moment of true happiness I have ever had? Being in your arms. Because your second guessing this is killing me inside."

Ok, now I was crying. At least he had the decency not to laugh at the little ball of fury I'd become. He held onto me for a few moments while I let the emotions pass over me, then he spoke.

"It doesn't matter Marie, you're right. And I want you to know that I don't regret anything that has happened between us, only that it took me so long to come to know the real you."

Bless him, that was exactly what my breaking heart needed to hear.

"And you aren't leaving, right?"

"There's nothing on this planet, or any other that could tear me away from you now. You're my partner, I won't leave your side unless you ask me to." I didn't think I would ever ask him that. Then he surprised me by slipping his dog tags off his neck, the tags I had never seen him without, and placing then over my head.

"But Logan," I began to protest but he put a finger to my lips. I kissed it.

"It would make me very happy if you would wear them from now on."

Oh God, how could I have doubted this man only moments before? I nodded, trying not to cry again.

"But what do I tell people if they ask why I have them?"

"Tell them the truth." I think my eyes must have widened a bit. "Tell them I gave them to you. You don't have to say anything else."

"But what if they ask why?"

"Then tell them to ask me themselves. I'll tell the ones brave enough to do it why."

"But what will you say?"

"That you are my partner now, and that the rest isn't any of their business. Look, " he pulled me into his arms again, "in a couple of months you'll be eighteen, hell, you're already taking your entry level college courses, and as you pointed out, you've been through a hell of a lot more than any other seventeen year old I know. If that doesn't make you a consenting adult, I don't know what does. We can be discrete for a few more weeks; then to hell with whatever anyone else thinks, I'll stand on the roof of the mansion and scream it to the world."

"But you're one of my teachers?"

"I teach you to fight and defend yourself Marie, I don't grade political science papers. Don't you think I'm more motivated to make sure you get it right as your lover, than your teacher?"

My Lover, oh God, he said it, the butterflies were back; if I were an eighteenth century woman I would have gracefully fainted at that point. Fortunately I'm not an eighteenth century anything so I was able to remain staring at him, my eyes turning to liquid again. At least I was able to keep the tears from spilling over my lids this time. I'd cried altogether too much that morning. We kissed again and again, and finally, I had to get up or I was going to be late. Logan pulled on his clothes from the night before; I threw on my robe, intent on heading for the shower.

"Next time we'll stay in my room, I have a private shower." He said it over his shoulder as he put his hand on the doorknob and listened to make sure the hallway was clear before exiting. I had to sit back down on my bed, or risk falling. Maybe I did have a bit of the eighteenth century in me after all.