I really hope you like this chapter, I wrote it and re-wrote it about a hunddred times trying to get it right. I'd really appreciate some reviews for this chapter. As always, please no suing!

Enjoy

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Chapter 10

Jasper's POV

I had to get out.

I can hear the leather on the steering wheel creek as I grip it too tightly, I loosen my grip, breaking the car won't get me there any faster and I have to get there.

I have to see her.

I don't need to talk to her or let her know I'm there, I just..... I just need to make sure I haven't done any permanent damage. If I can only see that she's leading her life, moving on, I can start to trust myself again.

I know my abrupt departure has hurt Alice, I can feel it, but this is something that she cannot help me with. Alice has always been there for me, helping me through the lifestyle we have chosen. Her unswerving belief in me is my source of strength but I have to do this myself. I need to make sure that it is not just her faith in me that keeps the monster buried, that my will is stronger.

It's 2am.

I can see her house now. I pull over and get out of the car and for the first time since staring out on my journey I feel, apprehensive.

I run my hand through my hair, a human habit I haven't been able to shake and pull in a deep, pointless breath. Though I cannot feel the oxygen in my lungs, the air is cold in my throat. I lean against the car, procrastinating, weighing the possible outcomes of this visit but my mind is frustratingly slow and my thoughts are clouded with fog and I find myself unable to think of anything but the possible thoughts of the girl 2 houses away.

I lock the car and walk at a human pace along the sidewalk. Thankfully, the families along this street are asleep and therefore, their emotions are dull. I can see no lights on in the small white house and I am relieved, no explanations needed tonight. Still walking at a slow pace I stand beneath her closed window and I suddenly feel breathless.

I jump up onto the windowsill and perch there while peering through the window. I can see her, she seems normal, asleep, and peaceful.

Good so far.

I claw at the window and it opens with a loud screech but the girl hasn't woken up.

Still good.

Climbing into the room, I realise that I will have to keep the window open. Her scent is intoxicating and I can feel venom already coating my teeth. But, holding my breath I sit in a rocking chair that is close to the window and try and relax, opening myself up to her emotions............

.....................................I feel like the air has been punched out of me, like someone has torn my lungs out of my chest. My eyes prickle painfully with dry tears, my chest aches and stabs.

I try and close off the connection but her feelings are so strong that I cannot and I double over in the chair, holding an arm across my chest drowning in her pain which, I realise has woven in with my own and for a frightening moment, I am lost. I cannot find a way out of this torturous agony.

She screams, sitting bolt upright.

Her eyes are wide and staring straight into mine. If I had a heart, it would be beating out of my chest!

She gasps for air and I cannot move. Her eyes become more focused and I can hear her heartbeat stutter.

She can see me.

Her eyes instantly fill with tears that roll down her already damp cheeks and still, I cannot move.

"Jasper"

Its half statement, half question.

My mind is slow and I do not know what to do, I just sit there, looking at her. My arm still wrapped around my chest.

She gets out of bed and her heartbeat is so loud that I can barely hear anything else. She kneels down in front of me; the breeze from the open window raises goose bumps on her bare legs. The agony emanating from her is almost unbearable this close, and I let her get this close.

She slowly places a shaky, hand on my knee and I can instantly feel warmth spreading through me.

"Jasper" she whispers, her voice breaks and she fails to hold back a sob and fresh tears overflow from her eyes, rolling off of her nose and drip onto her nightshirt.

I do not feel fear or anxiety. Does she not remember the last time we met? How I tried to rip her to pieces? Tried to kill her in the most vicious way possible? But I notice that the pain is starting to be replaced by wanting, a desperate need that is frighteningly strong.

I have never wanted to hold anyone as much as I want to hold her right now. To try and smooth away some of the agony that is tearing her apart, to tell her it will be ok.

She moves to her knees and leans closer, her arms move to place themselves around my neck and I suddenly feel my muscles tense in an all too familiar way. My teeth are practically dripping with venom and I try and swallow some back, I can almost see her veins pulsing beneath her fragile skin and...........I want it.

She stops.

Her hands drop to rest on my knees and her heart beats faster as she looks into my surely black eyes. She is not afraid, she has seen this many times before but there is something else that replaces the fear. It's the same wanting as before but the context has changed, before she just wanted to hold me, to make sure I was real.

Now......she wants me to kill her.

She's looking straight into my eyes and I hadn't realised that my hands are gripping her shoulders. She leans in a little and gently tilts her head to the left, revealing her long neck and a low growl rumbles in my chest. Just a few more inches, her scent burns the back of my throat making it ache, painfully. My grip on her tightens and I lower my head a fraction and I can practically taste her!

"Please Jasper, just do it" she whispers, holding back another sob.

The sound of her voice brings me back to reality and without thinking I hurl myself out of the window, running into the forest.

"Don't leave me"!

I can hear her call out to me but I keep running, faster and faster.

I catch the scent of a Doe not too far away and I throw myself at it. I can hear its bones crack underneath me and I quickly sink my venom drenched teeth into its neck. It bleats and struggles to free itself but I only tighten my iron like grip, bleeding the animal dry and I try not to imagine that it is her blood quenching my thirst.

The blood of the animal helps. A little.............