Disclaimer: AtLA is property of VIACOM and Nickelodeon. No profit is made from this story.

Notes: So sorry this took forever to put up - life just got busy -_-

*

'Toph, are you sure you know where you're going? You know I'd be happy to take the reins for you, if you want.'

'We have to go south to reach the South Pole, right?'

Katara sighed. 'Right. But –'

'And I've told you Appa's been trained to follow my voice commands, right?'

'Right. But –'

'And five seconds ago when you almost fell out of the saddle to see if we were going in the right direction, you could tell that we were flying south, right?'

'…Right.'

Out of the corner of her eye, Katara could see that Zuko was trying to suppress laughter – his golden eyes were so bright they looked as if there had been a fire lit within them, the corners of his mouth were turned upwards. A part of her wanted to wipe that smile right off of Zuko's face, but life had been so stressful lately … she didn't really want to begrudge him this moment of pleasure.

Sighing – Toph had said that she knew what she was doing – Katara leaned back against the side of Appa's saddle and tried to relax.

From what Sokka said, Saika sounds cute, she thought, it sounds a bit like 'Suki'. I can't believe that Sokka's a dad now … I wonder if Saika will be a waterbender … Will Pakku teach her?

Katara looked up at the sky. It was now mid-afternoon and the sky was completely white, covered with a thick layer of silver-white clouds that seemed in no hurry to move.

It was always hot in the Fire Nation, but now that they were leaving it Katara realized that it was now late autumn – winter would be settling in soon, where would she be living by then? Back home at the South Pole? Or would she have returned to the Fire Nation? Where did she belong now that she didn't have Aang?

Katara shivered – and told herself that it was the cool breeze.

***

'No!'

'Listen, Toph, maybe I was wrong about letting you fly Appa but it's been a very long day and I think that camping on the ground would be best for –'

'And I did a great job flying Appa, right?'

Katara said nothing, shooting a pleading glance at Zuko – who was looking pretty amused. 'You did an awesome job,' she said, trying to sound encouraging, 'but I'd feel more comfortable if we set up camp on the ground. And I'm sure that Zuko would too.'

'Sparky?'

'I don't really mind what we do,' he said. 'Use your judgment. If you think Appa's up to flying for a full night, then I say we do it.'

'Hah!' cried out Toph triumphantly, not seeing the scathing look that Katara sent Zuko's way.

However, Zuko did see the look – and promptly turned away from Katara, suddenly fascinated with the blue ocean surface below them. If he had been like this on a normal day perhaps she would have picked a fight with him, or at the very least sent a well-aimed water-whip in his direction, but Katara had spent the whole day in a sky bison's saddle and she was stiff and sore and tired. Maybe another time …

*

Katara woke up feeling as if she had been drenched in ice-cold water. She was shaking all over, her arms and legs covered in goosebumps. After nights in the ever-warm Fire Nation, Katara had quickly forgotten how hard it was to stay sleeping when you were freezing cold. She should have gone to sleep in her parka – that would have kept her warm through the night. But of course she had forgotten that.

Sighing, she got up onto her hands and knees and crawled to the back of the saddle where the bags were, searching for her coat, all the while trying not to disturb Zuko, who, although he was dressed in light clothes, was having no trouble sleeping despite the low temperature. Maybe it was a firebender thing.

'You okay back there?'

Of course Toph was still awake – despite her well-voiced doubts, Katara knew that Toph would never sleep on the job.

'I'm fine,' she called back as loud as she dared. 'I'm just looking for my parka.'

'Oh. You mean the big warm coat I put on before?'

Katara crawled across the saddle to Appa's head. To her surprise, when she looked down, she saw that Toph was indeed wearing her Water Tribe parka. If she wasn't so cold the sight would have almost been comical: a tiny girl swamped by blue fabric, a black-haired head barely peeping out.

'Sorry …' said Toph. As Katara's eyes adjusted to the light, she could see that the girl was grinning sheepishly. 'I didn't know it was yours, I thought it belonged to Sparky. Do you want me to …?'

Although Katara really did want her coat back, she knew that it probably wasn't that comfortable for Toph up on Appa's head. 'No, you keep it,' she said, trying to sound as if she meant it, 'I'll be fine.'

'Thanks Sweetness!' said Toph happily, her head almost disappearing beneath the hood of Katara's parka.

She then crawled back to where she had been sleeping on the saddle, and stretched out on her side. So she'd just have to sleep without her parka. No big deal – she could handle this.

Katara closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to drift off …

Spirits, it was freezing.

How was Zuko managing to stay asleep?

Katara shivered, bringing her knees up to her chin. Her back arched as she curled up into a ball.

It was going to be a long night …

***

'Katara…?'

'…Ugh…' She feebly swatted at the air with her hand.

'Katara, we're here.'

She mumbled something even she didn't understand, and buried her head in her arms.

'Sokka's waiting for you.' By now she could tell that the voice was Zuko's.

'…Go away…'

'Your grandmother and sister-in-law want to see you.'

Katara refused to move.

'Saika's really cute.'

She grunted.

'There's food being served.'

Katara shot up like a spring, literally leapt out of Appa's saddle, and staggered, still drowsy from sleep, across the icy floor that was the South Pole..

Maybe she wasn't that different from Sokka after all.

*

Zuko had been right – Saika was extremely cute. Suki had been waiting right by the tent, holding her daughter in her arms. Hakoda, Gran Gran, and Pakku were also waiting for her. Saika was light-skinned like her mother, which went well with her sunset-coloured hair. However, there was no denying that Saika's eyes were Water Tribe – they were as wide and as blue as the sky, full of unanswered questions.

Katara instantly fell in love with her new niece, and it took no convincing to get her to cradle the newborn in her arms. She noticed, amused, that both Toph and Zuko stayed at their end of the room, both looking a little out of their element – no pun intended.

'Sis, could that be you – hey!' Sokka's greeting was interrupted by a loud thump, courtesy of Toph. 'What was that for?' he wheezed, doubling over.

Suki smiled, amused. Toph shrugged.

'We missed you – plus I can tell you're so not going to pay up.'

'What?' protested Sokka, doing his best to sound offended. 'I was so –!'

Katara tuned out – she knew that Toph was going to win the argument, anyway. A few minutes later her prediction proved right; Sokka was pouting and Toph was happily putting several copper pieces into the pocket of her dress.

'…So,' said Sokka, apparently over his sulk, 'what's life like in the Fire Nation?'

'Hot.' Katara grinned when, after a second or two, Sokka exploded into a very immature fit of laughter.

'Sorry,' he gasped, wiping an eye, 'delayed … reaction … Oh I've gotta remember that one…'

Katara saw Suki roll her eyes. Oh well, at least Saika had one sane parent. She saw her niece lean onto her mother's shoulder, away from Sokka's madness, and decided that the kid already had a good head on her shoulders.

*

'I can't believe you're making me do this.' Katara's words were smothered by laughter.

Sokka was grinning. 'Admit it. You want to.' The penguin at his feet squawked impatiently. 'Hurry up, Pengy's waiting!'

'Pengy?' Katara's voice was incredulous, completely disbelieving. 'You named this penguin 'Pengy'?'

Sokka shuffled the snowy ground with his foot, staring at it intently. 'Well, it was all I could come up with!' he protested. 'And Suki said she liked it!'

'Did she also say that she liked the idea of naming your daughter Foo-Foo Cuddlypoops when you suggested it?' countered Katara.

Sokka pulled a face. 'Do you honestly think that I'm stupid enough to want to name my daughter Foo-Foo Cuddlypoops?'

'Do you really want me to answer that?'

'Just get onto Foo-Foo Flipperfeet, will you?'

'Oh spirits …'

The last words spoken were a 'hey, no fair!' courtesy of Sokka as he watched his sister disappear over the horizon, Foo-Foo Flipperfeet propelled to immeasurable speeds by the thin sheet of ice that he was lying on – Katara bending it forward.

Sokka grumbled. Since when did Grampakku teach his 'pupils' how to cheat at penguin sledding?

'… I didn't suggest Foo-Foo Cuddlypoops …'

*

After penguin sledding with Sokka, and thoroughly beating him, Gran Gran had offered to show Katara around. Her hair was greyer than Katara remembered, her back slightly more stooped, her gait slower. However, there was no denying that Gran Gran looked a lot happier than Katara last remembered - the whole 'world peace' thing was probably a contributing factor.

But perhaps the biggest surprise of all was the buildings– instead of the Southern Water Tribe's houses being made of tents, there were now several ice-blue buildings of Northern Water Tribe design. Pakku later explained to her that he and the waterbenders who had journeyed to the South Pole with him had started completely rebuilding the homes of the South Pole's inhabitants. Of course, there were still many tents standing – waterbending huge houses out of the ground took time, and there were the other villages to think about – but this in itself was a great improvement.

Katara and Gran Gran were both standing at the water's edge, looking at the ocean view. The setting eerily reminded Katara of the dream she had after she had been poisoned – only instead of her mother standing with her, it was Gran Gran. She shivered, remembering those awful days, yet told herself that it was because of the cold. She had dreamt she was in the South Pole because she had been thinking about returning there – and her mother had been there because ... she had been sick, only the spirits knew why her mother had appeared in her dream.

'It's a beautiful view,' observed Katara aloud. Today, the ocean was as still and as clear as a sheet of ice – yet there were black thunderclouds looming in the sky, and she could tell that sooner or later a storm would arrive. But for now the ocean looked beautiful, and she wanted to enjoy it.

Gran Gran said nothing, her lips pursed.

'What is it?' asked Katara, concerned. 'Are you feeling all right?' Sokka had mentioned that Gran Gran was beginning to slow down these days – maybe something was wrong.

'I am fine, Katara,' said Gran Gran softly. 'It is you that I am worried about. You are … different.'

Katara felt very cold. 'What – what do you mean?'

Gran Gran shrugged. 'I never expected you to be the girl who left the South Pole three years ago on the back of a flying bison when you returned to me, but the woman standing here isn't the Katara I knew.'

Katara could feel her heart hammering away in her chest. 'I don't understand.'

'I will try to explain it this way, when I see you in my mind's eye; I see you dressed in red clothes. Or green clothes. You're not Katara of the Water Tribe; you're Katara of the Three Nations.'

Three Nations. No more airbenders. No more airbenders …

*

Toph was gagging. Zuko was struggling to keep the stuff down his throat, his face drained of all colour. It would have almost been comical for Katara, if not for the fact that she was pretty confused. Stewed sea prunes were delicious – she had loved them ever since she was a kid. Apparently even Suki was having trouble keeping the stuff down, and she lived here, for La's sake!

Sokka, as usual, was stuffing his face.

At least some things never changed.

After living in the Fire Nation, where you ate your meals at tables and sat in chairs, it felt almost strange for her to be eating out of her lap in a tent that was lined with animal pelts. Aang had always been uncomfortable with the animal pelts, probably because –

Stop.

- the monks had taught him that all life was sacred.

Katara couldn't believe it.

After months of not allowing herself to speak his name, to think about him, all in a monumental effort to avoid what she saw as the inevitable, inexhaustible hurt that would accompany her every time she thought about Aang, she had done so – only to find out that she wasn't hurting any more. Suddenly, she didn't know how or why, it was okay for her to start thinking about him again. Of course she felt sadness, and probably always would, he had been so young and they had been engaged, but … the pain was gone. The guilt had disappeared; the anger – the burning rage – had gone.

This was amazing. She had been liberated.

You've stopped loving Aang. The voice sounded remarkably like Azula's, but somehow Katara managed to shake it off, ignore it. Maybe it was the sea prunes.

She decided to try this out again.

Aang was an airbender.

A memory arose:

Aang riding around on his air-scooter. Katara smiled.

Aang had been twelve years old when she had found him.

The giant iceberg rising above the water's surface – spirits, that thing had been huge.

Aang had become an airbending master by the time he was twelve. He had been a vegetarian. His people had been massacred by the Fire Nation – but he had been able to forgive Zuko, not kill Ozai, and happily get along with Ty Lee and, to an extent, Mai. Aang had been the most loving, the gentlest, most forgiving person Katara had ever met. He had been completely and utterly amazing. And he'd wanted to marry her.

So why wasn't she hurting any more? Aang was dead. He wasn't coming back. There weren't going to be any more Avatars – ever.

Katara glanced across the tent to where Toph was sitting. Had Toph felt this way after Aang had died? How had she coped? She had been away for so long … those years in the Earth Kingdom. In a way, Toph had returned home in her days of grief, while Katara had fled her own. Maybe combat – helping the Council of Five, hunting down the Dai Li – had been what Toph needed to heal. Maybe she was still grieving.

Right now, Katara didn't know where she stood. Now it was okay for her to start thinking about Aang again, and remember him. Was that wrong? Aang was dead. The Airbenders were gone forever. She should be sadder.

'Katara!'

She was jolted out of her thoughts. It was Sokka.

'Huh? What?' she asked, rubbing her eyes – pretending she was sleepy.

'Oh, nothing,' Sokka said, 'you just looked a little spaced out. You okay?'

Everyone, with the exception of Toph, was looking at her expectantly.

Katara pretended to yawn. 'Oh … nothing,' she said, 'I think I'm just a bit tired, that's all.'

Hakoda smiled. 'That's expected,' he said, 'you can go to bed if you want.'

'No,' Katara surprised a – real – yawn, 'no, I'm fine.'

Suki stood up, handing Saika over to Pakku. Katara noticed with amusement that her step-grandfather didn't protest when the infant was placed in his arms – was that affection in the old man's eyes? Katara decided that she really was tired.

'Come on,' said Suki, 'I'll show you to your tent. You can come, too, Toph – if you want.'

The earthbender stood up, a little too eagerly. 'Sure! Let's go!' Katara could almost see the trail of dust Toph left behind her as she raced out of the tent – even though that was impossible, seeing as they were at the South Pole.

'Are my stewed sea prunes are really that bad?' asked Hakoda to Zuko.

Zuko nodded. 'If it's any help, I think they're an acquired taste.'

Hakoda smiled grimly. 'I should have let Kanna make them – I forgot my own limitations.' He looked up, facing everyone. 'You don't have to eat them if you don't want to.'

'But Dad –' protested Katara – they weren't really that bad, now that she thought about it…

'Oh thank the Moon Spirits!' cried out Sokka in obvious relief, shoving his bowl away from him. Suki, Pakku, and Kanna all followed his example.

'But … you were literally shoveling the stuff down your throat!'

Sokka crossed his arms. 'Well when you get a reputation as a big eater, sister dear, you have to live up to it – sea prunes or no sea prunes!'

'I think you need to get out more.'

Zuko stifled a laugh. Sokka shot him a look that clearly said 'traitor'.

Katara stood up. 'I think I'll go now,' she said, 'I'll leave Sokka to his sea prunes and Foo-Foo Flipperfeet.'

'Hey, you promised!'

'Go take a bite out of the silver sandwich.'

'Hey, you promised!' said Zuko, pretending to sound insulted.

'Foo-Foo Flipperfeet? That's a new one.' Pakku's voice was disbelieving.

'Mmm, I thought it was just Pengy,' agreed Hakoda. 'Suki?'

Suki sighed. 'Whatever you do, don't wake up Saika.'

'Where do you think Toph went?' asked Katara as she and Suki left the tent.

Suki shrugged. 'My money's on as far away from your father's stewed sea prunes as possible.'

*

Maybe it was because she was tired. Maybe it was the sea prunes. Whatever it was, Katara had no trouble getting to sleep that night.

She drifted of …

*

Katara shot up, gasping, eyes dilated, sides heaving. She looked up, her eyes unfocused, only taking in the golden eyes that were right in front of her. There was pressure on her wrists.

'Katara, its okay,' said Zuko, 'you were having a nightmare.'

She instinctively pulled away from his grasp, which, to her relief, Zuko slackened and let go.

'You were screaming,' Zuko looked down.

'Oh.' Katara rubbed her wrists. 'Sorry … Did I wake anybody up?'

'Saika's okay,' he said. 'And the people here seem to be relatively deep sleepers. You weren't screaming for very long.'

'How did you get here so fast?'

'I knew it would be you.' Zuko continued to look down, as if staring at his boots. 'It always was.'

She shivered. 'This one was different.' Katara cast a sideways glance down onto the tent floor. 'I was actually there – but it wasn't there. You weren't with us; it was just him and me.' They both knew that she was talking about Aang; there was no need to say it aloud. Katara gulped. 'It was exactly like what happened with you two, only when Azula tried to shoot Aang,' the word tasted bittersweet in her mouth, 'I –,' Katara gasped, 'I didn't do it.' Her vision blurred. 'I – I wasn't fa- fast enough. And then he was just there and-'

Then she broke down. Completely and utterly broke down. At one point Zuko pulled her into an embrace, wrapping his arms around her, she couldn't remember exactly when, and she leaned into his side, resting her head on his shoulder.

'It was just a dream,' he said quietly.

Katara sighed. 'Maybe for me. But not for you.' Zuko stiffened. But he didn't pull away. She twisted her neck up to look at him. 'Do you ever think about it?'

'All the time.' He lowered his gaze. 'Katara?'

'Mmm?'

'Do you think that things would have been better if it had been me instead of Aang?'

'What?' Katara searched Zuko's eyes, desperately trying to see his thoughts. Of course, deep down, she knew what he was asking, but she couldn't bring herself to answer it.

Zuko sighed. He sounded almost … sad.

'He would have done a much better job than I'm doing – you know how much everyone loved him. Aang always had a way of making people understand him; he would have been able to explain to Admiral Nasou.' Zuko paused. 'You'd be happy again.'

'Zuko, I'm –'

His eyes narrowed. 'Katara, you wake up screaming his name in the middle of the night – don't you dare tell me that you're okay!'

'Wait, what?'

Zuko turned away, dropping his arms. 'Just once.'

'Zuko…'

'I should be going.' He abruptly stood up, and left the tent.

Katara sat there for several minutes, unable to move, tears pouring down her cheeks. Even though she was inside a tent, and her sleeping bag was warm, she felt completely numb. Cold. Motionless.

Alone.

Stuff:

First of all, I'm sorry for how long this chapter took to get written. Life has been pretty crazy these past few weeks, and I was having trouble finding time to write, let alone get a decent plot down. Sorry for the length, I just couldn't find a place to split it in half. Hopefully you guys like the length-eey stuff *guilty face*

I swear this is the LAST time I'm writing a relation-shippy story. Next one will be an all-out epic bloodbath. Complete with flying saucers.

*grumble*

To explain, I feel like this is slow-moving. I know that Now and Then is slow-moving, because that's the way it has to be. If you look back into Katara's 'flashbacks' you'll see that she said some really, really horrible things to Zuko. She accused him of 'killing' Aang. Poor Zuzu *petpet* Which means this is going to take even MORE writing and character development.

So I need your opinion - is this okay? Do you like this 'relation-shippy' stuff? N&T isn't about an epic battle to save the world, it's about two people who are trying to forgive each other - all the while struggling with feelings that are telling them to do the exact opposite.

So what I'm trying to say is ... please review! xD

Note:

- This fanfic is set roughly two years after the Season Three finale, just to set the record straight. I know that Yue's death was mentioned as occurring as 'last winter' and I'm going to fix that up ASAP. So Katara is sixteen-ish and Zuko is eighteen-ish. Ish is a cool word :)