A/N: Yay, the wonderwomen are back! XD And we have a brand new, angsty chapter, and we will be very happy if you review and tell us how much you hate us for not letting these two morons to be happy and in love! We looove that… Either way, read on!

9: If You're A Killer, Then Kill Me

Adam seems to be speechless after those words, because it's not until he's already walked through half of the hallway until Lawrence hears Adam call after him.

"Lawrence, come on! Come back here!"

Lawrence doesn't answer. Keeps walking without looking back.

He hears the creaking of a door opening and than the loud sound of it being slammed shut. Then Adam's feet against the floor.

Adam walks quickly down the hallway, almost hoping that the sound of his feet will sound intimidating enough for Lawrence to slow down. But even though he's basically running down the hallway, Adam manages to catch the sound of chains rattling behind the closed doors when he passes them, someone behind each of them is terrified, hovers against the wall, dreading that Lawrence will enter their room any moment now.

Lawrence is one of two people that have ever loved Adam. And they're afraid of him.

"It's cool!" Adam says firmly, to everyone hovering behind those doors, everyone Lawrence has managed to scare with his act, astonished that these words are coming out his mouth. He knows more than he thought he did. "He won't hurt you anymore, I'll make sure of that."

He keeps walking, all the way to Lawrence's office and opens the door with as much noise he could possibly make just to make him startle. He doesn't wait for Lawrence to look up.

"Listen!" he says and points a menacing finger against Lawrence. "You just need to show them you're not a bad person, just like you showed me! Then you can let them go! You don't want them here, I know that!"

Lawrence just shakes his head, he doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how to make Adam understand. His self-loathing makes him so damn stupid.

"Adam, don't you understand? You're different!"

"What makes me different from them?" Adam bites back before Lawrence even manages to close his mouth. It seemed like his words had taken over, he had no control over them anymore, didn't think, it just came out. "I'm one of them, you locked me up, you raped me! You almost killed me, damn it, would you tell me the differen…"

That's where Lawrence cuts him off.

"I'm in love with you, Adam"

Silence fell upon them. Dead silence.

Adam's eyes are wide. Lawrence barely sees it. His soul isn't even still in his body, he watches himself from the outside. Hears how stupid it sounds.

Never would Lawrence depend on anyone again. Never would he be in a situation when anyone in any way had the power to tell him what to do.

And for some reason, Adam still can. He just doesn't know it. Lawrence's cheap impression of control with shackles and possessive hands has fooled even him.

Lawrence looks into Adam's eyes. Still without being there. And feels that it doesn't matter how much he loves him, he still wants to break his pretty face.

"I am physically unable to love," Lawrence says slowly, carves the words into Adam's soft flesh even though Adam doesn't seem to notice. "But I love you. I really do. That's exactly why you can't stay here."

The chilling spell on Adam's face is broken, his widened eyes roll to the ceiling, and he scoffs.

"Well, I'm sorry, Lawrence, but I'm still not afraid of you. And you can go on and on about the horrible things you've done to these guys, but you haven't done any of that to me, we've been through that. You're not a monster. Something's just gone wrong with you, hasn't it?"

Lawrence throws his hands up in the air, bites his lip to keep from screaming, angry in a childish way, but that's for Adam's sake.

If he shows his real anger, the red, the boiling, the furiously exploding, that beautiful face would be ruined.

"Yes!" he hisses, his whole face grimaces, and Adam's getting a little scared, finally, finally. "Something's gone real fucking wrong, and that's also why you can't stay here! I'm sick, okay? That's why I do this! That's why I can't let people be happy, I can't let things be beautiful, because if they're allowed to be happy and have it good, then why wasn't I, huh?"

Images flashing on his retina, the body weight on top of him, smothering, crushing.

Why only him? Why?

Why couldn't anyone else go through that? Why would they be allowed to be happy?

But Lawrence doesn't say any of that. He just takes a deep breath, carves new words into Adam's flesh. Carves in his imagination, because he'd never live with himself if he hurt him again.

"I love you. I kill things that I love. Ruin things that are beautiful. So please, if not for you, then for me: Go. Away."

He already knows that Adam won't leave. But when he says this, at least it brings a new kind of uncertainty to his eyes. One that hasn't been there before.

He knows.

It's like a death sentence. A curse.

Lawrence can barely stand on his feet anymore.

"You have killed someone, haven't you?"

His voice sounds different, too. Serious. Almost like a grownup.

Those eyes. The ones when Lawrence pulled the knife out. Pulled out the very final breath.

Nothing else mattered right then. It almost felt good.

"I didn't kill him."

Lawrence can't even look at him. But he still knows the way Adam looks at him.

"I didn't kill him."

"Who didn't you kill?"

The eyes. Lawrence will never forget them. The memory is locked around his throat, he can't breathe, he has to fucking breathe!

"It was an accident, he…" can't talk, "he was just like you, kept mouthing off, he kept trying to break loose from the chains, he… He was going to run away, and I couldn't… I couldn't let that happen, I…"

Lawrence thinks his eyes are on Adam's face right now. But he still doesn't see him, can't see past the thin film of memories that still won't go away.

"It wasn't on purpose!" Lawrence asks, pleads, he's clutching to Adam's shoulder without realizing it. "It was just… I thought he was going to leave me, I thought…"

Then it falls again. A death sentence, a curse, and Lawrence can't stand, he sinks to his knees under the weight of what he's done.

"I killed him… I… I killed him, Adam…"

Up until now, Adam's just been staring at him, mostly in horror, but now, the compassion finally rises up, and he pulls Lawrence to his feet.

"Come on, Lawrence," he mutters, and puts a hesitating arm around Lawrence's shoulder. "You're not a kid anymore, are you, stop weeping like that… It's okay… Sssh…"

But Lawrence doesn't seem to hear him, because he sobs like a little boy, clutches to Adam like he was slipping away into thin air, and Adam keeps holding him, because he's not afraid, even though Lawrence wants him to be.

He doesn't understand how Lawrence could do such a thing. He doesn't understand how he could do something like that and cry like this years later, but he doesn't have to understand, nothing has to make sense. As long as Lawrence doesn't try to make him go away again.

Aw… Young love! Or, half young, and the other half is sort of going downhill. It's still a damn hot half, though! XD So, since we've given you an update on a horrible rape/serial killer-scenario, it's only fair if you review, right?