Chapter Ten

It Starts to Fall Apart

It was about ten years ago; I remembered it so clearly, the day that I made my first ever best friend.

Craig Tucker, even at age seven was a tough nut to crack. It took sheer patience and skill to meet my high standards of even reaching a good acquaintance. I don't know how exactly Tweek met those standards, but he found a way. Maybe it was the fact he doted on me so well, always praised my ideas and stuck up for me should there be a disagreement with the other kids. He looked at me like I was his hero and I barely understood why.

Nothing had changed much because even today I was abusing my power and taking advantage of the fact he cared for me so much. Nothing had gotten better because even back then I fed on his affection and I loved the attention. Was that still the case? I remember our first conversation quite well.

"What happened to your face?" I asked Tweek. Back then, I hadn't cared to learn his name. To me and everyone else in the class, he was the troubled coffee kid who sometimes had fits or panic attacks if you were lucky enough to witness such an episode.

"M-my face?!" He shrieked, instantly scared of what I'd do to him should he so look me in the eye and dare to speak.

"Yeah" I replied "it looks pretty fucked up." He winced at the curse and I shrugged. I'd adopted a potty mouth at a very early age.

His face was indeed a little fucked up. He had a nasty bruise forming on his eye and a spot of blood dripping from his nose. He'd also been crying, all huddled up in the school's playpark with rivers of tears and snot gushing down his face.

"GAH! I'm fine" he sniffed but still avoided eye contact with me.

"What's your name" I questioned as I tried to sound less intimidating.

"Tweek Tweak" he whimpered, it was nearly inaudible and I remember thinking what a weird name.

"Okay… Tweek… What happened?"

"Some kids threw, nghh, a rock at me. Bruised my eye and t-triggered a nose bleed." He was hesitant to answer me and clearly looked embarrassed. I honestly felt bad for him as I watched him stifle his tears. His bottom lip quivered as the blood began to dry around his nose. Being fairly high up in the social food chain as I was, I never experienced bullying like this… In fact, I regret to say now that I usually caused it.

But that day, I felt something twist. I wanted with every piece of my being to help this kid.

"Who did this to you?" My face remained stern as I knelt down to finally catch his eyes. There was no avoiding me.

"I… I shouldn't say" he stammered.

"Tweek Tweak. Are you gonna sit here and let people do this to you? Tell me which bastards did this to you already!"

The louder I raised my voice, the more he began to cry, twitch and yell incoherent words to himself.

"B-Bill Allen and Fosse McDonald" the poor kid barely managed to choke out, almost trembling.

"Come with me" I grabbed his bare hands and dragged him across the snow despite his protests. He was suddenly aware of where I was taking him, or more accurately who I was taking him to and began to panic and he tried his hardest to wriggle out of my grip.

"Craig, GAH! S-stop they're gonna beat, my, my-"

"Listen here" I spun around and got all up close to his face, my eyes bored into his which were full of fear and regret. I was determined to shape this boy up. "Bill and Fosse are little shits who have nothing better to do than throw rocks because they're too pussy to face you. Are you gonna take this?! Don't let people walk all over you. Not these bullies, not your friends, not your mom or dad-" My voice trailed off as I thought about how I was no better. My dad, even at my premature young age, was already drilling into my head who I was to become.

Could someone like me really help someone else? I thought.

"Me and you, together, we're gonna sort these freaks out, okay?" My voice had softened and Tweek hesitantly nod his head.

I approached the two who had thrown a rock at Tweek and just as I had expected, it escalated into a fight but at least I made them apologize to Tweek, whether it was through a mouthful of snow and dirt or not, and even though I had a full week of detention, it was well worth it. I'd made a new friend and I quite liked this one.

The rest was history. Me and Tweek were inseparable since then and always had each other's backs. We got into a lot of fights with other kids, we got into a few fights with each other too but somehow we always gravitated back to one another. That was until of course puberty came and… That thing messed it all up. But more on that later.

Thinking back, I'd seen myself in his terrified little features that day and just as much as I wanted to save him, I wanted to save myself. That friendship was arguably one of the best things that happened to me in my childhood- no, my life.

It was a brilliant fucking day.

I woke up with this amazing feeling in my chest, an appreciated good morning text from Tweek who, I quote, slept great and for the first time in recorded history, I had woken up with a smile on my face. The whole family was shocked at my response that morning too. I happily ate the crap dad had prepared me for breakfast, I kissed them all on the cheek and waltzed out of the house on the way to actually being on time for school.

It was even better that dad thought I was going crazy over some girl, it meant no worries for me for a while regarding said father. Hell, I was surprising myself with this attitude of overwhelming positivity. It was almost sickening.

Clyde caught up with me along the way to school, he was panting once he finally made it within my pace and this morning I didn't find him such a headache to walk with.

"Please slow down! Normally you're late and-" he came to a halt, hands resting on his knees and his jaw hitting the ground in bewilderment. "You're smiling!" He exclaimed "In the morning no less!"

"Don't be so over dramatic" I chuckled and we continued to stroll together through the blankets of snow which were building higher and higher each day.

"I haven't seen you like this for months. You got laid didn't you?" He instantly smirked.

"Maybe. Maybe not" my joyful grin did not waver.

"No fucking way! Who is she?! I can't think of anyone you haven't had a go at yet. It better not be Bebe."

"I'm not a manwhore, I haven't slept with many girls at all Clyde, but no, it's not Bebe."

"Aren't you gonna tell me? Your best buddy?"

"Not a chance."

"Fair enough."

He eyed me up and down curiously, his eyes were searching for clues or breakage of some sort in my demeanour. Of course he found none and instantly gave up on attempting to ask another question. Somehow he knew that his bothersome personality wasn't going to get under my skin that morning.

"Speaking of Bebe, I think I've gotten somewhere with her" he mused proudly.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, she said that she was looking forward to me coming to her party and she touched my shoulder when she said it too, isn't that amazing?!"

Oh, how blissful it was to be an excited young teenager, in awe of your first kiss, your first girlfriend and your first time entering that unknown, uncharted world that is romance. That only briefly happened to me before I fell into a bad habit of becoming a douche and avoiding l-o-v-e like the plague. There was something so charmingly immature about Clyde's excitement and I truly wished the best for him, for we all knew that Bebe Stevens was not an easy fish to catch.

School rolled on quickly, but not as quickly as the events I was having to write down in my planner. Dinner with Red's family was only in a couple of days and that was something I was not at all looking forward to, but in my current mood I was able to forget about it. Then the winter dance was on Friday where Bebe would throw her much talked about party afterwards. Both of those events I may or may not have been looking forward to. But then the next week was the big game against Middle Park high, the one me and my team had been training for all season.

It was fair to say I had a pretty busy schedule and a lot of my free time would be spent practicing for the game some more and hopefully being able to "help Tweek with his homework" as well.

"You're cheerful today" Kyle remarked as I got my football kit on.

"I am, yes" I grinned at him, quite genuinely actually. Even Kyle's prying couldn't put a puncher in my tire today and feeling more trust towards him than anyone else, I told him truthfully what had been going on.

"I spent the night with Tweek" I admit to him, my face didn't morph an inch. Kyle's, however, dropped to the floor and his eyes grew bulbous like saucers.

"You mean, you…"

"Yes and I think I've figured some things out."

Once the redhead had time to compose himself and his thoughts, he leaned in closer and spoke so quietly it was almost a whisper. "Was that who you were talking about at the coffee shop?" I nod in response and he fist pumped the air. "Yes! I knew it! I fucking knew it! Craig Tucker plays for the other team!"

I smacked his arm and gave him a piercing warning with my eyes to shut the hell up before I made his day extremely difficult. It took him a second to comply and lower his voice again to ask a question, a question I had very much wished not to be asked.

"Does this make you gay?"

I took a long breath before my mouth could even form the bulshit I was about to tell my friend. "It makes me… How do I put it…" Kyle rattled his gym locker in anticipation for my answer, each golden freckle stared at me impatiently.

"It makes me like Tweek, a bit more than a friend, I guess" I finally told him.

"You guess?"

Fortunately before he could argue with me any further, coach was whistling at us and before we knew it, our helmets were on and snowflakes were melting on our faces, the cold not enough to stir the pure determination that my team had to win the game the following week.

I spent lunch with Clyde, Jimmy and Token. I didn't tell them anything that I had told Kyle because not only did they have big mouths but I'd have to face them everyday knowing that they knew something strange about me. But today I engaged in conversation and suddenly Token's story didn't seem so boring, Jimmy's jokes didn't seem so dry and Clyde's blabbering well, it was still irritating but bearable. From the corner of my eye I saw Tweek sat with Bebe and Wendy again, he stole a glance at me from behind a cup of coffee and I was looking forward to seeing him later.

There was one more person I was yet to see before my school day was over and said character was in a grubby orange parka. He was loitering around my locker with a least to say paranoid look painted across his face.

All the socializing and participating today was starting to give me a headache and I could feel the buzz from a good fuck begin to crash and cave in on me. Kenny was and has always been one of the biggest mentally challenging people to hold a conversation with but the two of us would, unfortunately, find each other in one another's company more than often.

For what reason he was waiting for me by my locker with a worrying expression, I had yet to find out. Part of me wanted to bring my books home and avoid the situation completely, for I could already tell whatever was troubling him was about to become my problem too.

Begrudgingly, I opened my locker and greeted the urchin. "McCormick,can I help you?" I asked him. He bit his lip and tapped his fingertips against metal. No answer yet, no cocky joke or mischievous smirk, something must have really been bothering him. "Are you alright?" I dared to ask.

"The winter dance" he muttered.

"Yes, what about it?"

"You're gonna take Tweek, right?"

I hadn't decided whether I'd take Tweek to the winter dance. I wasn't sure whether he wanted to go in the first place or whether I'd want to take him as my date at all.

"I don't know" I replied simply as I wondered what the relevance of the question was.

"You have to do it" he ordered, his face as hard as rock but his eyes full of something I could only better describe as fear, and not just any ordinary fear, but life-threatening-shitting-pants kind of fear. Perhaps he sensed that I was examining his face for too long or that I hadn't clearly answered his question and he quickly whipped out an envelope from his pocket before thrusting it towards me.

"Two-hundred dollars, take it! Tweek needs to go to this dance with you" he said frantically. Dirty hands held out dirty money to me and desperation oozed from his tone of voice. He had me backed up against my locker now and we were beginning to attract attention in the hall. I was shocked, I didn't know what to do, what to say and how to get the hell out of this situation.

Why was Kenny so anxious and adamant for me to take the money? That was arguably a lot of money in that envelope and this ridiculous deal was something I'd nearly forgotten about in my hazy love-sick bliss. Reality was kicking in once again; shame was replacing the giddiness inside my chest and Kenny's scared little eyes were beginning to frighten me too.

"I'm not taking this money, I can't do this shit anymore" I hissed in his ear, our bodies far too close for my liking.

"Fine, don't take the money, but take Tweek to the dance, you have to. You like him don't you?!" His pleading was becoming more audacious by the minute. What was possessing the lax charmer to act this way?

"I like him" I swallowed and gently pushed Kenny away from me. "But I… I can't take him to the dance, I'm not ready. I don't want people to see us together." Each word tasted like shit in my mouth and I began feeling like such an awful person again for how petty and cowardice my words sounded. Kenny's eyes flew wide with a little anger now.

"Why not?!" He demanded.

Yes, Craig, why can't you take the person you like to a stupid dance no one cares about?! My brain screamed at me.

The fury between us began to take a toll on me and I didn't want to hear Kenny remind me of how shallow I was being.

We glared intently at each other until Kenny's grip on me softened and I was able to push him off me, close my locker and walk away. I heard him curse over and over under his breath as I made my way to the exit and the question still stood as to why he was so worried about me obeying Cartman's twisted game rules. Perhaps I'd find out how important Kenny really was to this ordeal, or was he just a pawn?

My heart was beating so rapidly that I could hear it pulsate in my ears and the more I dwelled on Kenny's breakdown just now, the more I worried for my own stability. What the fuck was going on around here? I thought.

Late afternoon I was sprawled across Tweek's bed and gazing up at the ceiling in deep thought as he scribbled over lined pages and tossed them in the trash can.

"Craig, you know you're meant to be my tutor still, right?" He sounded stressed out. I felt stressed out too but there was no way he could have noticed that as I answered with a tired grunt of agreement.

"I have an essay to write on Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio" he told me "and it's hard because I just keep thinking about Ninja Turtles." I would have laughed if I didn't feel so thoughtful. Besides, my brain was swamped with exam questions and homework for my own subjects that I could barely keep up with. Art history wasn't exactly in my field of knowledge.

"Sorry Tweekers, my brain is dead" I pronounced the last word rather morbidly and closed my eyes, desperately attempting to discard of the encounter with Kenny earlier. I could feel something bad happening, like the way a fisherman senses a storm. I'd known Kenny as long as I can remember and if he was this terrified of something then everyone else was fucked. I'd never seen him in such a state before.

I opened my eyes once I felt Tweek crawl on top of me. He rested his chin on my chest and began playing with my hair that was far too long and shaggy now. I wrapped my arms around him tightly and inhaled the sweet aroma of coffee and spice and everything nice.

My heart kept telling me this was right, this was so, so right. To look at the way his body just fit perfectly around mine, the way he sensed if there was something wrong with me, the way he just… Completely didn't deserve to be apart of this mess I'd got him in over some stupid bet. A mess he wasn't even aware that he was in.

He kissed me and my worries folded themselves somewhere into the back of my mind. His lips instantly captivated me and I closed my eyes until he broke apart. He was smiling sweetly at me.

"You look tired" he pointed out. That didn't begin to describe it.

"So do you" I croaked, a smile on my face that invited him closer.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"There's nothing to say" I stroked his cheek with my knuckles, calloused and sore from hours of practice, as was most of my body. In fact, I was very worn out at the moment, pressure was hitting me from every figure in my life and Tweek, ironically, seemed to be the only sense of sanity in my life right now.

"You work hard" he whispered, his hands ghosted over my thighs and he began softly kissing my neck.

"Tweek…" my words trailed off and before his hands reached the end of my zipper, I bolted up, some good old samaritan sense quickly taking over.

"Stop, your parents-"

"Are at work"

"You don't have to…" He silenced me by placing a finger on my lips and frowning, almost offended at my objection.

"Let me do what I want, Craig" he didn't break eye contact with me until I gave in and flopped my head back against the mattress with my legs dangling off the end of Tweek's bed and his body between them.

I rubbed my face harshly, awfully conflicted between not just my head and my heart anymore, but now my dick had decided to join in as well. This was going so wrong, so terribly wrong. If Tweek only knew what was going on, he'd want to be nowhere near me, let alone try to make me feel better. But I had to admit that he was taking the edge off; he knew exactly how to win Craig Tucker's undivided attention and once he pulled my boxers down, there it was, instant peace of mind.

So I let him go down on me and as his tongue rolled around my hard on, I matted my fingers in his hair and tried to forget how dreadful of a person I was being right now.

Some time after we had finished, Tweek put a movie on his laptop and curled up with me as the sky began to darken and the snow became heavier outside. He was smiling contently and that night he felt so warm; there was no twitching. He was glowing with the false hope that I was as perfect as he'd always hoped and believed and I, not surprisingly, was bathing in the guilt of that.

About halfway through Point Break my phone violently buzzed. The both of us, drowsy as we were, had been stirred by the device. I was about to decline until I saw who was calling and instantly I didn't feel sleepy anymore.

"Wait here, I have to take this" I untangled myself from my lover who made a sound of protest and gazed at me sadly. I'd spoiled a nice moment again.

"I'm sorry" I whispered and kissed his cheek before I head into the bathroom next door.

"What is it?" I greeted quite harshly but Cartman did not sound as slick and coy as other days. In fact, he sounded pissed off.

"Hey asshole, why didn't you take Kenny's offer?" He seethed.

"Because I'm sick of this, it's not fair on Tweek" for once, I was answering someone honestly and allowing my heart to take charge here but I tried to keep my voice down, knowing Tweek was just in the other room.

"Since when did you give a crap about Tweek, huh? You've been taking my money for the last two weeks and god damnit if you don't take him to the dance I'm gonna fuck your life up, Craig, I'm gonna fuck your life up so fucking hard and you know it!"

My temper was about to blow up when I cursed profoundly at him in a furious whisper. "Don't even threaten me, you gave me your money and I don't want it anymore! I… I care about Tweek and I'm not going to lie to him anymore. I don't know why you wanted me to date him in the first place but whatever it is, get someone else to do your sick work, I won't be apart of it."

There was silence on the other side of the line before his grotesque voice sliced through me like a knife. "If you really care about that boy, then rethink what you're doing here..."

"Go fuck yourself" I ended the call and blocked his number straight away. I eradicated his details and messages from my phone while my mind was racing across the conversation just then. What did that last bit mean? Was he threatening Tweek? I could handle him threatening me, I could handle a brawl too, but no way could I handle the thought of someone hurting Tweek.

Suddenly, I was splashing my face with cold water and worrying obnoxiously about the most important person in my life right now and for once in my life, that person wasn't myself.

I'd opened a can of worms and something awful was going to happen to us. What if Cartman told Tweek about our bet? Maybe I should come clean before he knew and maybe he would forgive me but… Why should I be forgiven? I deserved whatever backlash I got.

After I collected my thoughts, I returned to Tweek's bedroom to find him sat up in bed, wide awake and looking somewhat troubled.

"Who was that?" He queried as he made room for me beside him again. We were already in our boxers ready for bed and no doubt it would be long before we'd drift off to sleep, if my mind let me, that was.

"Just my dad, he wanted to know where I am. You know what he's like" I explained as I scooted towards him. He cocked his head in thought and examined my eyes, my mouth. Could he tell I was lying?

Either choosing to believe me, or ignoring the fact I was lying through my teeth, he pressed play on the movie and rested against my shoulder. his hand searched for my own for comfort or just to make sure I wouldn't leave him. This protective and loving hand was something I knew I didn't deserve and I was sure deep down he knew it also.

A/N: Thank you all so much for your feedback. I'm glad to be back and I'm so glad a lot of my readers waited for me! Because of being away from this story for so long, I've made myself some massive plot holes and I'm going to spend the next day or two fixing them.

By the way, I bet none of you can guess what Cartman's actually doing. Believe me, there's a legitimate reason that he's giving Craig money. Until the next chapter, adios.