Chapter 10

Michaela sat with her gaze fixed on Sully as she felt David pull his hand away from beneath hears. Instantly, she turned back to him. For a moment, she closed her eyes. Overwhelmed by a flood of emotions she was momentarily speechless. She had to say her final good bye to her first love but at the same time, the hurt she felt upon seeing Sully again consumed her.

As he saw a tear roll down her face, David took her hand. "Michaela," he began but she shook her head and swallowed the lump in her throat. "I will always love you, David," she assured him quietly. It was important to her that he understood why she was doing this– because he was important to her. "But you are my past. Too many things have changed. We've both changed. We are not the same people anymore. I am a mother now and the town's doctor - I've grown up."

David nodded slowly. He knew what she was telling him: she had become an independent woman and had no intention to reverse that.

"Please give your parents my love," she added, imploring him with her eyes to understand.

David looked at her, searching her face for any sign that she might have second thoughts. Finding none, he let out a long breath and lifted her hand to his lips to press a kiss to its knuckles. Then he rose from his chair. "Good bye, Michaela," he said, and the sadness in his expression almost tore her heart apart. Knowing there wasn't anything she could do to help him, she simply watched him leave and walk slowly back towards the saloon.

If she could have, she too would have left the café, as desperate as she was to hide herself away from the world in the clinic. However, she needed to face Sully first. In truth, she wasn't sure if she would even be able to handle two emotional rollercoasters coming so soon one after another. When she turned to where he still stood, she noted that he had turned away and was talking instead to Brian.

It took Sully several moments to register what Brian was telling him. For some days, he had known that something was amiss, but it had never occurred to him that Michaela's fiancé had risen from the dead. Who would have believed that a man whom everyone believed had been killed in the war seven years ago, could suddenly return as if nothing had happened? How could Michaela forgive something like that and yet be cross with him for helping someone in need? She was holding hands with this other man in public! Sully felt a sudden surge of anger blinding him as he watched David kissing Michaela's hand. Unable to bear this sight he turned to Brian again.

"Do you know about their plans?" he enquired, trying to keep his emotions in check for the boy's sake. Brian shrugged. "Ma wants us to try to get along with him," he replied sullenly. Then his face lit up. "But maybe you can tell Ma she don't need him anymore 'cause you're back now?" he said, his voice full of hope.

Sully laid his hand on the child's shoulder. "It's not my place to tell Dr. Mike what to do, but I'm gonna try and talk to her."

"Good," said Brian, momentarily satisfied and ignoring the anxiety that started to rise up and constrict his breathing as he remembered why his ma had broken it off with Sully. But now that Sully was back and David would be told to leave, he and his sibling could help Sully win her back.

They both looked towards the table where Michaela had been sitting but found it empty. "Ma has a patient at the clinic." Brian was sure that's where she was and pulled at Sully's hand, making sure he would follow him.

There was no reply when Sully knocked on the clinic door. Fearing his friend might vanish again, Brian quickly explained, "Her patient is upstairs."

Hesitating, Sully contemplated whether to enter the building or simply wait outside. His decision was made for him as he noticed Hank and Jake sauntering towards him, both with expectant smirks on their faces. "I'll wait inside," he informed Brian and seeing the boy getting ready to accompany him, he added, "I need to talk to your Ma on my own."

Sighing ominously, Brian suggested, "I guess I'll go to Mr. Bray's for a bit."

Ten minutes later, Sully heard someone descending the stairs in the hall. Assuming it was Michaela, he turned so that he stood with his back to the window, facing the door. Her eyes were downcast, focused on the stack of sheets she was clutching to her chest, and thus she did not immediately register his presence. Only after she had set the laundry down in a big basket and straightened again, did she realise she wasn't alone in the room.

As he stood with the light behind him, Michaela couldn't initially discern her visitor's features. Yet there was no doubt as to his identity and her pulse quickened. Keeping her expression neutral, she stayed where she was and clasped her hands in front of her so their light trembling wouldn't betray her inner turmoil.

When the silence stretched on unbroken, Sully eventually huffed, "You aren't letting this go, are you?" His tone was accusatory rather than resigned.

At this, her temper flared and Michaela scoffed, "So I can be made a fool of again?"

Sobering and almost incredulously, Sully wondered, "That's the way you see it?"

To Michaela, it was. She wanted to ask him if there had been any further "expressions of gratitude", as he had dubbed his kissing Catherine during their argument behind the barn. She wanted to know if he had held her hand and given her a shoulder to lean on. Michaela was pretty sure he had, yet a part of her didn't want it to be confirmed. She was certain she wouldn't be able to handle that blow. Thus she stood silently, gazing in his direction and only lifted her chin.

Sully was watching her keenly, and recognising that she wasn't ready to give in, he tried to reassure her. "Nothing ever happened between Catherine and me. I wouldn't let it!"

Michaela shook her head. Slowly, she approached him until she was close enough to touch his chest. "Something happened here," she said and stepped away from him again. He wasn't fast enough to catch her fingers in his and so he followed her, but she held her hand up to stop him from coming closer.

"I'd never have thought your turning towards another woman was possible. Not after the things we said to each other," she revealed as calmly as she could, and Sully saw his opening.

"I meant all those things. I still do!" he reassured her, but Michaela only heard that he wasn't even able to tell her that he still loved her. Perhaps it wouldn't have helped anyway; she no longer believed anything he said.

Slowly, she stepped farther away from him until the examination table was between them. It was as if she needed a shield against him.

Frustrated now, Sully run his hand through his hair. "Don't you hear what I'm saying?" he demanded.

Fighting the tears that pricked the back of her eyes she said so quietly that it was hard to hear her, "You hurt me, Sully. I don't know how I can trust you again."

"Trust me?" He stared at her in disbelief. "What about my trust in you? I come back after only a few weeks and I find you holding hands with… with…" He was shouting by now and stumbled over his words, but it was his anger at her that gave Michaela her equilibrium back.

"You have no right to judge me." In contrast to him, she spoke softly. "Not after your public display of affection for a woman you knew for only a week, not to mention that you were still courting me. As to my holding hands with someone, I'm sure Brian has told you, that that man was David."

Sully gaped at her, wondering what she was talking about. Public display? He fought back the memory of kissing Catherine in this very same place as the truth suddenly hit him hard; his relationship with Michaela might well be over, not purely because of her jealousy over another woman but because there was another vying for her heart.

Suddenly the tiredness that had steadily increased over the last few days became so overwhelming that he felt his knees growing weak. He felt nauseous and was in desperate need of fresh air. Without a backward glance, he left the clinic, leaving the door open.

Outside on the porch, he almost crashed into Brian. Barely hearing the boy's questions, he brushed past him, heading for the livery. He wanted his horse, and he yearned to see Cloud Dancing, to talk to him. His Cheyenne brother always knew what to do.

xxx

Several hours later, Michaela stationed herself at the clinic window again, waiting and then watching David leave the saloon with his bags. She had considered going out to bid him farewell by the stagecoach but had decided against it. She knew that the situation was painful enough for them both to bear, and she had no desire to display her tears in front of an all too eager audience. Apart from that she was positive that she would be asked about Sully, but she didn't have any answers. Not for herself, let alone for others.