Ten Random Characters
Chapter 10
In the kitchen, two formidable fighters stood. Palutena was at one end, ladle in one hand and knife in the other. Kirby, on the other hand, had an adorable chef's hat on and was smiling eerily over a giant golden pot. The only other person in the room was Mr. Game and Watch, who was lurking in the shadows with a video camera that was streaming to a television in Ness's room, where the Smashers in Peach's game were currently hiding, a safe distance away from the chaos. Of course, even the two-dimensional Mr. Game and Watch was quaking in his shadowy boots, but he had been promised a handsome sum of orange juice to go with his breakfast food in a pan of some sort, so there was no backing out now.
Back in Ness's room, Shulk was attempting to keep the popcorn from Pit, who was eating far too much of it, while Roy and Marth had started a betting pool for the winner of the cook off. So far, "They'll both burn down the mansion" was in the lead, closely followed by "Master Hand will come out of nowhere and stop them". Other heavy contenders were "God, I don't care", which Dark Pit had bet quite a bit on, "Mr. Game and Watch", and "Probably not Sully", which Robin and Lucina had both bet on.
The announcer that tended to come out of no where called "Three! Two! One! Start!" and the two chefs began attacking the pantry rather viciously. Palutena had begun to murder some innocent carrots, and Kirby had thrown everything nearby into the pot, including the kitchen sink and most of the cooking utensils. The whole kitchen was a motion-sickness inducing blur (Lucas theorized that the camera and/or Mr. Game and Watch had been thrown into the pot), but after three minutes, it cleared up. Palutena was panting, holding a cauldron of struggling, animate carrots above her head, while Kirby was happily tasting his soup, which was an indistinguishable color that may have been the same color as a crayon box mixed together to the point where no color existed except the intangible quality of "Blarg". And no, even the author doesn't know what that means.
The smashers held their breath. What now? Who would be the taste tester, they all wondered.
"One, two three, NOT IT!" Pit called at light speed. The other smashers followed suit until the only one left in all the Smashverse that hadn't said it was Red, who was still debatably alive and sprawled out on the couch.
"Okay," Palutena stated cooly. "Red, I suppose you will be our taste tester."
The two chefs filled a bowl with each liquid, and R.O.B. let out a shudder. "Those poor bowls," he lamented. "They were so young!"
Peach suddenly grabbed a frying pan from the depths of Hammerspace and set out into the common room. "No!" she cried. "I won't let you kill him!"
Palutena shrugged. "It can't be that bad, can it?"
"Yes it can be!" shrieked the pretty pink princess. "I mean, my cooking isn't always peachy, pun intended, but you two can bring the greatest warriors in all of history on their knees with yours! So, can we just say that I win and call this off?"
Kirby suddenly threw the bowl onto Red, who instantly awoke. "What is that?" he asked frantically. "It burns and tastes like crayons."
Palutena promptly threw her bowl on the Pokémon Trainer as well, who shuddered. "That soup is raw. How can soup be raw?"
"Okay, Raw Soup or Crayons, which is better?" demanded the goddess.
Red looked very faint, and muttered. "I choose Peach…" before falling over.
"Well," Peach huffed. "You broke him. Again." She then slapped the Pokémon Trainer, who didn't move and then turned into a trophy.
With a tap of the trophy's base, Red revived. He promptly grabbed Palutena by her hair and Kirby by his… pink and threw them out the window. Considering it was barely ten feet off the ground, the two didn't get very hurt, but their feelings were more hurt than their bodies. "So," Red hissed. "When should we let them back in?"
From Ness's room, Marth glanced at the board on which the bets had been written. "So, who bet on Peach?" he asked. Bowser raised his claw, and Marth tossed twenty coins at him.
Meanwhile, Pit was frantically running around. "Dark Pit, you've gotta help me stop Palutena from making something explode!" he cried, pulling his dark clone out to the mansion grounds. Pittoo sighed, knowing struggling was futile.
"Hey!" Dark Pit yelled. "Just because you're a metaphysical being doesn't mean you can call me that, author!"
"Uh, is it just me or does it feel like the laws of the universe are sort of collapsing?" Ike asked.
Everyone quickly realized what was happening, and braced themselves. Suddenly, one of the walls of the room flopped over, revealing a Technicolor void.
Peach started to pull up turnips. "The world has been broken!" she exclaimed. "We'll be in for it now!"
Marth and Roy looked terrified; they remembered when this had happened before, all the way back in Melee. The other Smashers, bar the newest had heard the terrifying war stories from the Fourth Wall Siege of 2003, and were horror-stricken at the screaming masses emerging from the void.
"Fangirls," Roy muttered gravely. "Run."
AN- Yep, we officially broke the fourth wall. Now what? I don't know, but I'm scared. And also partially responsible...
"'Partially responsible'?" spat Roy in outrage. "What do you mean? This is all your fault!"
Okay, the Author's Note has been breached. How?
"Don't ask us," Robin huffed.
"You know," Marth added. "If you lot would just leave us alone we wouldn't have to fear this."
Okay, we need help. If you're reading this, please send me an OC to use in a task force to save the fourth wall! I'm sure the internets will be able to transfer your help into the fourth wall breach. Or, you know, you could send one to help invade them…
"Stop encouraging them!" cried Peach. "I might be a crazy fangirl, but not even I would stoop that low!"
No, it was just a suggestion! Look, I'm just trying to write a good story!
"Yeah right," Dark Pit, who is definitely not named Pittoo muttered darkly.
Eep! Um, before this gets too bad, thanks for reading! –Twilight Jol-
"Hey!" screeched Roy. "We're not done with you yet!
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