Chapter Nine

Motionless in the silent hallway, Ryan's mind was oddly clear considering the news he had just received. His return to Albuquerque had only created painful problems which were now out of his control completely; Sharpay seemed to despise him, his mother had become distant and Chad..............His carefully unemotional thinking ground to a halt as the image of a broad, welcoming smile and wild, tightly coiled curls slipped unintentionally into his thoughts.

It was ironic, really, he thought with a humourless smile. His private crush, secret even from Sharpay who would have forbidden him from viewing a Wildcat that way, at high school had become his lover as an adult and had been, in turn, keeping their relationship secret from his wife. Fate, Ryan considered dispassionately, was cruel and unforgiving, but one thing was certain: he had to get out of this situation, something which could only be achieved if he were to physically leave.

With purpose directing his legs, he strode quickly across the hallway and up the sweeping staircase.

****

Troy, having no doubt been sent by Taylor to bring him inside, stepped out onto the driveway and followed the direction of Chad's eyes as he stared, unseeing, up at the darkened sky.

For a moment, Chad felt an almost irrepressible urge to share everything with his high school best friend, just as they had so many years ago when they spent hours everyday up in the Boltons' treehouse. Troy broke the silence and Chad's sudden nostalgic yearning ended abruptly,

"Aren't the stars beautiful tonight? Reminds me of when I proposed to Gabriella; it was like this then........."

Chad must have heard about their engagement a hundred times, but as Troy's voice washed over him, he felt his eyes prick with fresh tears. Whether he was crying for his own marriage, which differed so greatly from Troy's, or for the loss of the one person who had genuinely loved him, caused by his own selfish greed, he couldn't say. Angling himself away from Troy, he wiped his face as best he could, cleared his throat and allowed himself to be led back indoors.

****

Ryan awoke early from a fitful sleep in which he had tossed and turned, searching for comfort in a bed that felt far too vast for himself alone. Taking advantage of the time, he began gathering a collection of necessary belongings, throwing them into a suitcase, the very one he had unpacked so recently.

As he felt beneath the bed, his fingers lighted on a soft bundle which he pulled out to examine. A pair of Chad's socks lay crumpled and soft in his hands and he dropped them, as if stung, when a memory caught him unawares.

****

Collapsing onto the bed, still giggling, Chad grabbed Ryan's waist and pulled him down on top.

"Did you see their faces? It was worth getting thrown out the store just for that!"

Ryan adopted a serious tone as he mockingly chastised,

"That was a high school prank, we should be far too old for that sort of nonsense."

Chad shoved Ryan off his chest and straddled his waist, grinning.

"You enjoyed it, though, and you seemed to be having far more fun than you ever did at East High."

Nodding, Ryan stroked Chad's muscled forearms, staring into the distance as he spoke,

"I didn't particularly relish my time there, but you.........." His voice trailed off and became an embarressed whisper, "You were my high school crush, even Sharpay never found out."

In the silence that followed, he looked worriedly up at Chad, fearing that he had gone too far, only to have his mouth captured in a gentle kiss. As Chad bit his neck gently, Ryan heard him murmur,

"If only you'd said something then, we wouldn't be in this situation now."

Forcing himself to focus on Chad's words, rather than his actions, at least for the time being, he answered,

"But we've found each other now and there's nothing to stop us."

Chad's reply was uncertain at first which Ryan took to be emotions clouding his thought processes.

"Yeah......yeah, nothing stopping us now."

All attempts at coherency were abandoned as their clothes were quickly removed, the kisses becoming more insistent as their bodies twined together.

Later, the sweat on their skin drying in the slight breeze which fluttered through the open windows, they held each other close, whispering in a way that only made sense to those whose hearts were still beating erratically after a passionate lovemaking.

The unmistakable buzz of a new text message interrupted their post-orgasm cocoon and as Chad sat up, Ryan used what little energy he had in attempting to pull him back down. Laughing, Chad batted his hands away and flipped open his phone. Ryan watched his jaw clench as he read the message and felt a slight jolt of alarm at Chad's expression and the serious tone of his voice.

"Shit, I really have to go, I......we.......the electrician has done something wrong and the power has....er.....switched off. Sorry, Ry, this is urgent."

He looked longingly back at the bed and leaned forward to whisper in Ryan's ear, sending a shiver up his spine,

"I wish I could stay, you have no idea how much."

Placing a deep kiss on his lips, Ryan wrapped his arms around Chad's neck and held onto him for as long as possible. Chad broke the contact eventually and loosened Ryan's arms, before dressing hastily. Ryan made no attempt to rise and was content to watch the tightly fitting jeans he'd personally selected slide over hips marked by his own teeth. Crawling back onto the bed, Chad was unable to resist kissing Ryan's pale, warm skin and left, promising to call whenever "that damn electrician was finished."

Straightening the bed sheets later that day, Ryan noticed Chad's socks, which he appeared to have forgotten, lying on the floor. He kicked them underneath the bed, thinking with a thrill of anticipation that he would return them next time.

****

He must have been blind not to notice, or had simply pushed any uncomfortable hints towards the truth out of mind. That text must have been Taylor demanding to know where he was, not an 'electrician', but, made gullible by his happiness, he had swallowed the lie without protest.

His eyes were drawn back to the socks on the floor and he bent down to sweep them up, considering burning them. That was the expected thing, the right thing, for a deceived lover like himself to do, but he couldn't bring himself to destroy a trace of the man who had been the sole focus of this thoughts for weeks.

If it weren't for the child, he would have perhaps listened to Chad's reasoning instead of cutting him off to suddenly. The longer he stood there, turning over the previous day's phone call in his mind, the more he came to realise that his intense anguish was not caused entirely by the deception, but rather the self doubt which Chad has so cruelly inflicted on him. Closing his eyes, he attempted to reason with his feelings objectively.

Taylor was pregnant, which could only mean that Chad had had sex with her, as any husband (even lying, cheating ones) would. Therefore, he must have been simultaneously been sleeping with both Taylor and himself, enjoying the experimentation. Taking a deep breath, Ryan tried to ignore the painful questions concerning his real value to Chad and kicked the socks back under his bed.

His stomach contracted at the thought of eating and, knowing his mother rose early, wheeled is hastily packed suitcase out of his room and down to the hallway. He found her in the kitchen, an ignored bowl of cereal beside her as she scribbled on what appeared to be invitations. Unsure of how to begin, he busied himself by pouring a glass of juice when she spoke, not looking up,

"Good morning, Duckie. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I...." Realising that there was no point lying, he changed his answer, "No, I didn't, actually."

Her reply was vague as she continued embellishing the notepaper.

"Good, good. There's some pastries on the table if you're hungry."

"Mom, I really need to talk to you."

She lifted her eyes briefly and waited for him to continue. Not having planned how best to express his feelings, he hesitated for a moment.

"I.......I'm leaving."

Writing again, she answered distractedly,

"Well, make sure you're home in time for the gala we're hosting."

"No, Mom, I'm leaving."

He placed emphasis on the word, but she didn't seem to show any concern that her son was departing only weeks after returning home. Instead, she nodded, saying,

"There's some money in my purse if you need it and Kitten has my credit card."

Disbelief stunning him, he stood frozen at his mother's complete lack of emotion. He had always been her favourite, her Duckie, and now......well, seeing as everything else had changed, this should hardly be seen as a shock. The mention of Sharpay, however, caused a slight twinge of regret at the distance which had grown between them since graduation. He realised now, looking back, that she had used him for her own gain whenever possible at high school, but when they were alienated from the rest of the student body, the only comfort he could find was in the apparently indestructible bond with his twin sister.

Despite the stinging words which she would, no doubt, fling in his direction, he felt compelled to see her briefly before he went. No sound came from her bedroom and, assuming that she was still asleep, Ryan gently pushed the door open and peered in.

Seated at her large dressing table, Sharpay has already begun her morning ritual of powders and creams. She caught sight of him in the mirror and snapped,

"Well, what do you want? Don't just stand there."

"I....er.....came to say goodbye."

She replied absently, her focus already shifted back to her reflection.

"Shut the door on the way out."

Wanting to leave on a pleasant note, Ryan asked tentatively,

"You're up early, what's the occasion?"

Sharpay rolled her eyes and spoke deliberately slowly,

"Zeke is going to be at the gala tonight and I have the perfect outfit. He won't be able to resist me."

"I'm not sure if it's wise to try and entice him, surely his wife is accompanying him, so......"

She spun around in her chair, fixing him with an icy glare.

"What would you know, Ryan?"

He visibly winced and leaned against the door frame in case his shaking legs gave way.

"You're right: I know nothing about relationships because whatever I become involved in, whatever feels 'right,' is more often than not wrong in every sense of the word."

If he had expected a sympathetic response, he would have been disappointed, but when Sharpay ignored his acceptance of his inadequacy, he sighed and slipped out of the room.

Downstairs, standing beside the open front door, he hesitated, taking a moment to memorise every detail of his childhood home. It was doubtful that he'd return, not for a prolonged visit anyway; what would be the point in raking up painful memories? Pulling it closed behind him with a soft click, he made a show of striding confidently down the driveway when inside he wanted nothing more but to curl up and sleep to forget.

****

Chad had been distracted all day, so much so that his boss had advised him to take a day off, fearing he was coming down with something. Desperate to avoid his home at all costs, he tried to focus on the design in front of him and reached for his phone to tell Taylor that he would be working overtime. His mobile was nowhere to be found and he realised with a sinking feeling that it was probably still in his jeans pocket.

As soon as the clock struck one, he shot off from the office and drove the short distance to his home well over the speed limit. Letting himself inside, he bolted upstairs to fetch his phone and went to grab something from the fridge for his lunch. On the kitchen table, propped up against the fruit bowl, was a small piece of note paper covered in Taylor's neat handwriting. He picked it up as he searched through the cupboards and read:

Chad,

I couldn't get in contact with you earlier, probably because you left your phone behind, but I guessed you'd probably come home in your lunch break for it. I've had to go to the hospital urgently, so I would appreciate it if you could come as soon as you can.

T x

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