A/N: Thanks to all my readers and reviewers... you all rock!

The Princess Diaries doesn't belong to me!

There was an awkward silence among the three of them after Patricia had greeted them and Jack had quickly disappeared back into the palace, Clarisse obviously stunned and more than a little displeased at her mother's unannounced arrival while also wondering what she was doing here on today of all days.

She really didn't want her mother at her daughters birthdays and she certainly didn't want to remember and re explore her troubled relationship with her mother, not now nor ever- she had finally repressed and moved on and, lastly, she didn't want her children exposed to their grandmother's indifference and bitterness- she had made that mistake once but, thankfully, the boys had sensed it and stayed away from her.

When it became obvious that Clarisse wasn't inclined to break the silence, the older woman tried again by stepping forward with a small smile.

"I know this is very unexpected dear..." she began before Clarisse, galvanized by her starting to speak, interrupted her with a stormy expression.

"What are you doing here Mother?" she asked bluntly, not caring if she seemed rude or not- she wanted her mother gone before their guests arrived.

"Clarisse, sweetheart," Joseph began in a conciliatory tone, squeezing her reassuringly. "I need to tell you something... I invited her to the twins birthday party... I felt that she should be here."

"You what?" Clarisse exclaimed icily, pushing him away from her and glaring at him, her eyes flashing angrily. "Why didn't you tell me before now?"

"I was going to but..." he shrugged helplessly, enraging her even more before Patricia, looking unusually sympathetic, stepped forward again.

"Clarisse, don't blame Joseph, this was all my idea to come here... he only extended the invitation..."

"While I'll discuss that with Joseph later," she shot an angry look at her husband. "What I really want to know at the moment is WHY you decided to come... you weren't at all interested when I was expecting them..." but before she could say anything else, she spied the boys racing into the room and, keen to avoid them seeing their grandmother (as well as getting away from both Patricia and Joseph), she brushed past her and walked over to guide her boys out of the room, not looking back as she did so.

"You didn't tell her I was coming?" Lady LeRoche looked semi accusingly at her son in law.

"I was meaning to, but..." he shrugged, realizing that it had been a bad idea to invite her, especially without telling Clarisse and now his wife was furious with him (justifiably, he could hear his mother say), although he had done it simply for her sake, to give her closure and he had to make her realize that.

"Just stay out of her way until I talk to her," he advised as he walked past her, knowing the older woman wouldn't like that, but he was more interested in placating his wife, although it probably wouldn't be easy today, especially when everyone else saw who was here and realized why she was angry.

Predictably, he was right- while the birthday girls, their older brothers, Shelley and their guests were oblivious to the tension, the adults (despite Clarisse's best efforts not to show that anything was wrong) were well aware of the tension between the royal couple, the reason explained away by the presence of Clarisse's estranged mother, although they hid it well, Alexandra and Henrik initiating a conversation with her.

Her presence became even more awkward when it became clear she was staying for the party and Clarisse was unhappy about it- her daughters day was being ruined, all because Joseph, in an unusually insensitive move, had wanted to play happy families.

She managed to avoid her husband for the first half of the party, even when they had a twin each in their arms for pictures, and she was hoping to keep it that way until their guests left, but she discovered him following her when she disappeared back inside to ensure the palace staff were ready with the refreshments.

"Not NOW, Joseph!" she snapped when she came out of the kitchen and discovered him skulking around in the hallway.

"We need to talk about this..." he insisted as he began following her back down the hallway that lead to the French windows that would lead them back out to the party.

"Not at the moment, not when we have guests and our daughters outside," Clarisse responded calmly but, before she could say anymore, she was startled when he wrapped an arm around her waist and firmly guided her into his study, closing the door behind him, much to her quickly returning annoyance and surprise.

"Joseph, what are you DOING? You know we have guests and a group of excitable children outside!" but Joseph looked unimpressed at her words before his expression turned repentant.

"Look, I'm sorry about not telling you your mother was coming, but I felt that she should be here."

"Why? She insulted our sons the last time she visited, she had no interest in the twins before... in fact, she called me, in not so many words, a baby machine!" she said coolly, her eyes flashing daggers at him.

"I know she did, my darling, but..."

"You know very well that I don't want anything to do with her and I don't want our children anywhere near her either!"

"Darling..." he tried again but she looked unmoved.

"No," Clarisse said coldly, glaring at him. "She may be here on YOUR instigation, as YOUR guest, but I won't have anything to do with her and neither will the children! What I really cannot believe is that YOU did this, invited her here, knowing how I feel about her and how awful our relationship was... that was incredibly insensitive, Joseph!"

"I'm sorry, I really am, but knowing how everything really is between you two, I wanted to get you together so that you can have some healing and closure..."

"I have healed- my children are very important to me..."

"I know that, but you haven't completely healed emotionally from what happened to you when you were a girl, no matter what you say, I can see that in the way you compare yourself to your mother... and I thought you deserved closure, real closure, so you can move on and enjoy motherhood."

"That's nonsense, I'm fine," Clarisse blustered momentarily. "I was just wondering why Mother disliked motherhood so much... Oh, I don't have time for this and your silly thoughts that it could help me!" she snapped, pushing past him and headed towards the door, before she was momentarily stunned by his next, softly spoken words:

"If you're not careful, and don't allow yourself this, allow your mother to explain herself, you're going to end up like her and possibly even a worse mother to our children."

She paused momentarily, his words sinking in slowly, before she remembered that HE had started all of this and her posture stiffened considerably before she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her, Joseph following a moment later, hoping that something, anything had sunk in...

"Is everything alright between you and Clarisse?" James asked diplomatically when he returned to the group, Clarisse mingling with the women several metres away, the children somewhere in between the two groups.

"I know Clarisse's mother is here, which would understandably have upset Clarisse, but she just came out of the palace with a face like thunder... which isn't like Clarisse at all," Charlie added helpfully before shutting up immediately at Joseph's look, knowing it wasn't the time to tease him.

"Sorry Joe, we didn't mean to offend you..."James added hastily. "Anyway, the kids all seem to be enjoying themselves..."

"When do the cakes come out?" Charlie asked with a grin, and Joseph relaxed slightly.

"Probably fairly soon as the girls are overdue for their naps... mine as well as yours, Charlie," he added with an impish smile.

Despite pretending nothing was wrong while taking genuine delight in seeing her friends and watching her tiny daughters enjoy their birthday, most especially when their cakes came out as they smeared a lot of it on their faces (Phillipe standing nearby in tears, convinced that he would miss out on a slice), Clarisse was inwardly miserable- not only was her mother there (thanks to Joseph), and she and Joseph had had a fight, she had the uncomfortable feeling that he was right about her needing closure.

She was genuinely happy with motherhood, her babies the most important people in her life, but she also knew that she was looking over her shoulder, comparing herself to her mother and worrying that she would end up the same way. Her mother's rejection of her when she fell in love with Joseph had hurt, but she had gotten over that with the knowledge she had the love of a wonderful man... but when she became a mother herself, all her old insecurities came flooding back, especially when Claire and Grace were born... maybe it WAS time to forgive and forget, although she didn't want a relationship with Patricia anymore, it was too late and too much damage had been done.

She was still mulling over Joseph's words (especially the part where, if she didn't do this, she would end up hurting only herself) after she left the twins with their nannies and had gently closed the doors to the nursery, about to turn and walk back downstairs, when she heard footsteps behind her and she whirled around to come face to face with her mother.

"Mother" she gasped, visibly startled.

"I know you don't want me here, and you don't want to talk to me, but I came not only to see you and the children..." (she tactfully refrained from saying grandchildren) "...but also to try and apologize to you, to explain why I am like I am."

"I don't care to hear anything from you," Clarisse said stiffly, brushing past her for the second time that day, but she was only two steps down the hallway when Patricia spoke up again in a much quieter voice: "I'm sorry."

"What?" Clarisse spun around and looked at her with wide eyes. "What did you say?"

"I said... I'm sorry," Patricia repeated, moving forward a step. "I know I wasn't the greatest mother in the world, but I did try..."

Clarisse regarded her silently for a long time before, with a small sigh, she led the way down into their own suite and stood expectantly in front of the fireplace, her arms folded across her chest and her expression neutral. If her attitude bothered Lady LeRoche, she didn't show it as she sat down on the sofa and looked up at her daughter.

"I know this is hard for you to believe, given the rocky road our relationship has travelled, but I AM truly sorry for the way I've behaved and the way I've treated you and your family over the years."

"Why did you do it?" Clarisse burst out before she quickly silenced herself- her mother wanted this, so she was going to listen... or try to.

"Honestly?"Patricia looked down at her hands for a moment before looking back up at her daughter. "I'm jealous."

"Jealous?" Clarisse looked confused and horrified.

"Of you," she said simply and Clarisse turned white as she momentarily leaned back against the mantle.
"Of me... why?" she finally whispered and the older woman looked ashamed.

"Yes... I'm not proud of this, but I was and am jealous of you, your handsome, charismatic, powerful husband who worships the ground you walk on, the four beautiful children you seem to be raising almost effortlessly... friends who genuinely like you..."

"You sound surprised," Clarisse said waspishly.

"I'm not, you were always someone who, despite your shyness and timidity, attracted friends and admirers quickly," but she didn't sound derisive- in fact, she sounded proud and admiring. "You got that quality from your father... he was always popular..."

"I remember," Clarisse said softly, remembering the times she saw him in the middle of a group of people, always laughing and chatting... before she realized her mother was looking at her with affection in her eyes.

"You remind me so much of your father... I gust that's partly why I was so cruel to you.. .you two were so close and I..." she shrugged and Clarisse softened as she sat down in the chair next to the sofa.

"In all honesty, I felt I could talk to Papa about anything... you acted like you didn't even like children..."

"I didn't, I never wanted children, even when I married your father,"Patricia said in a oddly detached voice and, after a pause, Clarisse gasped as she grasped the realization that her mother hadn't wanted children and that meant her...

She had always, even from when she was a little girl, sensed that her mother had been ambivalent towards her, but to hear it now, to hear it verbalised... it really hurt and she suddenly realized what Joseph had been protecting her from the previous year before she quickly wondered why he had done THIS to her now, knowing what he and her mother had discussed (and she assumed he knew all about it).

"Clarisse, don't take this personally..."

"How can I NOT take this personally? My MOTHER wished that I hadn't been born?" she cried, insulted to tears.

"No, no, no,"Patricia cried hastily, leaning over with her hands outstretched. "It's not you...how can I explain... I didn't like children, but I had you and that was enough for me."

"Even if I wasn't a boy?" Clarisse asked bitterly, well versed in the ambitions of the aristocracy, having grown up in it- boys were valued and cherished more than girls (an opinion that would never change), although her own husband made it quite clear that his sons and daughters were equal in every way.

"Even then," Patricia reassured, realizing that her daughter had probably heard most of the arguments she and Richard had had in regards to children. "Your father adored you from the moment you were born and that never changed, as I assume you knew when you became close... I simply wasn't maternal, and never had been... unlike you..."

"Excuse me?" Clarisse tried hard not to sound defensive.

"I mean it in a very positive way- you … revel... in being a wife and mother, your family and country are the most important to you..."

"It was what I was brought up to believe- I was only meant to be a wife and mother."

"But you are now also Queen," her mother's eyes glinted unpleasantly, a gleam that Clarisse recoiled from her slightly before Patricia, realizing her mistake, back-pedalled.

"I meant that it's obvious that motherhood is your top priority... I've missed the chance to see it fully in action but today has shown me a taste of what I think you and Joseph would be like normally with your children, that you and Joseph really do love your children, in the way that Joseph dirtied himself playing in dirt with the boys, you both cuddled the girls close when they were covered in cake and all the time and effort you obviously put into making this day special for the twins."

"I always have for their birthdays," Clarisse murmured. "They're still children, despite being princes and princesses and they need to know that their mother and father are there for them, even though they are also King and Queen of Genovia."

"Which is what I most admire about you and Joseph..." she paused for a moment, again looking down at her hands before returning her gaze to Clarisse.

"I know today will in no way make up for 29 years of pain, neglect and indifference, mainly instigated by me, but... I just wanted you to know that I'm truly sorry for everything... I don't know why I'm apologizing now, a lot of damage has been done but I...I'm just sorry for everything... and I also wanted you to know that I'm very proud of you... you are certainly a daughter to be proud of and I guess you always would were..."

There was a long silence after she had finished speaking, Clarisse looking distantly into the fireplace, her mind whirling at everything she had seen and heard that day, before she suddenly remembered there was a birthday party under way outside.

"I do appreciate what you said," she began awkwardly as she stood up, her mother following suit. "I do... it's just that I have a party outside and I need some time to think about all of this."

"I understand," Patricia said sympathetically- her daughter had always been serious and cautious, part of her reserved nature, and the only time she had seen her act impulsively, almost recklessly, was when she had fallen in love with Joseph, an act that, in retrospect, had been the best impulsive act Clarisse had ever done- she was far more confident, he made her very happy and they were obviously revelling in their family.

"However... I was wondering..." she paused and Clarisse was surprised to see that she looked nervous, before trying again.

"I was wondering... I know I don't deserve to ask you to do anything for me, but I was wondering if you could do me a favour..."

0

The birthday party wound down an hour later, well after the guests of honour had gone upstairs, and all of the guests had thanked their hosts profusely and reassured Clarisse that they had had a good time.

"A party at the palace anytime is always a good time in my books!" Charlie joked jovially and Clarisse relaxed slightly- while she had enjoyed her twins first birthday (and would never forget it, as she would never forget Pierre or Phillipe's first birthdays), she really wanted to be alone to recall the conversation with her mother... and apologize to Joseph...

Finally they were standing alone at the top of the stairs, waving off James, Charlie and their brood, an awkward silence between them before Joseph turned to walk back inside, keen to do some of the never ending work on his desk- a King's work was never done, he thought wryly to himself- while giving Clarisse some space- it had been a terrible day for their relationship, before...

"Can we go for a walk?" she asked in a small voice, not quite sure whether he would agree to it but he turned to her and wordlessly nodded.

The silence between them continued as they walked towards the stables, neither of them quite sure where they were going or who was going to break the silence, before Joseph, noticing her sad look and the way she kept moving closer to him as their journey continued, smoothly reached over and entwined their fingers, squeezing slightly as he did so, so that when they reached the stables, they were holding hands.

"So..." Joseph stopped and turned to her expectantly. "Are you going to tell me what happened with your mother or am I going to have to guess?"

"Oh Joseph!" she looked at him with tear filled eyes. "I'm so sorry fought you on this... and I was so awful to you when you were only trying to help..."

"Forget about it," he said simply, reaching over and touching her cheek with his free hand. "I understand why you were so upset, I should have forewarned you... but..."

"I know WHY you did it- I don't want to end up a bitter woman," she admitted, enjoying his caress.

"You never would have been a bitter woman, it's not in you, I was wrong to have said that... I shouldn't have said it... so?"

He looked at her so tenderly, she almost burst into tears and, sensing her confusion and vulnerability, he took her hand again and they walked towards the forest and the lake- they weren't accompanied by their security team (which would cause trouble later on), but they would have some privacy so that Clarisse could tell her story without interruption.

He waited until they were heading in the general direction of the lake before he tried again.

"Sweetheart? Do you really want to talk about it?"

"I do, I do!" she cried passionately, flushing as she turned to look at him. "I just... I just can't believe what happened, and I don't know how to say it!"

"Tell me," he said gently, guiding her over to a large rock on the edge of the lake and they sat down together, adjusting for a moment before, after an encouraging squeeze of his hand, Clarisse began to recount the conversation with her mother.

"...Much as I wanted to continue hating her, continue comparing her style of motherhood to mine, feeling like a victim, I have to admit she made a lot of sense and... I think it might be time for me to forgive her- she may not have been perfect, but she IS my mother," she concluded at the end of her tale. "We may never have a relationship like other mothers and daughters, but I think we may have reached an understanding..."

"All I ever wanted to come out of this was for you to have some closure and a final escape from that part of your life," Joseph said soberly. "You are a terrific mother and wife and that will never change... I just thought that you needed to understand your mother, even though her attitude towards you could have been more negative, more detrimental..."

"Thankfully it wasn't... and she also said that she was proud of me," she admitted shyly and he beamed at her.

"Of course she should be and would be proud of you... she does care about you in her own way and now you know that I was telling the truth before."

"Yes... and I'm sorry that I didn't believe you."

"It's alright," he looked at her lovingly and she smiled slightly at him."So... do you feel better now that you have had that talk?"

"I do... you were right," she gave him a small grateful smile. "By the way, I know you have work to do this afternoon, but I was wondering whether you would be available tonight... my mother asked me for a favour, and it's relatively simple, considering what she did for me today... and yes, I'm well aware that I'm sounding like a completely changed record... but I was thinking that we could do this for her..."

"Oh, and what might that be?" he inquired, looking at her inquisitively and there was a slight pause before she took a deep breath in and started to speak...