I am so sorry for the lack of updates but moving has been crazy and i've only just had Internet installed! I am also off to America for 10 days now so I will update when I have wifi! Sorry again and I hope you all enjoy!

4x19 - 47 Seconds

"I was shot in the chest and I remember every second of it."

She was tired, exhausted actually by the time they'd finally finished the case. It had been one no one in the precinct or New York would forget. For once instead of having to stop a bomb, they had to deal with the aftermath of one. She'd finally gotten home and began to soak in the tub, washing away the stress and carnage of the day. She intended to soak her body until the water went cold, let the bubbles seep into the pours of every inch of her skin until she was completely clean.

She couldn't bring herself to focus enough to read a book, so she led there, lost in her thoughts of today.

But she wasn't thinking about the case, she was thinking about why Castle had been avoiding her all day, acting strange and vanishing when she had asked him out for drinks. She wondered what he might have said to her if he hasn't been interrupted, would he have pushed her deadline forward a bit and asked her out? Told her he loved her... Again.

She winces every time she thinks of it, his voice echoing in her mind - 'I love you, Kate.' - and she couldn't even admit that she heard him, loud and clear. She was awake and PTSD had not caused her mind to go blank of the events that day.

Thinking about it made a pit form in her stomach, causing the organ to twist and turn, making her feel sick to the point of pain. He loves her, she loves him. Why couldn't she just say something? She kept telling herself she wasn't ready, she was still healing. She couldn't be with him until her mother's case was out of the way. But really, she was just scared. Scared that it could go wrong, scared that she'll loose the first real best friend she'd ever had. But that didn't change how she felt, she still had the longing, wanting, needing feeling that he brought to her soul every time he looked in her eyes. The heat that crawled up her body every time they touched.

The curiousness of how he would taste, how his skin would feel slick and slippery on hers as he made love to her.

Her hand began to trace her skin, starting from the top of her collar bone and sliding slowly down, skimming over her naval until it rested at the juncture of her thighs. She slowly began to move her fingers, rubbing her sensitive bud before slipping a single finger into her opening, the bath water mingling with her own wetness.

Thoughts of him touching her in the same way increasing her pleasure tenfold, thoughts of him taking her while she whimpered against his skin. She was already close and all it took was a pinch of her bud and she was moaning loudly into the humid air, the sound echoing through her empty apartment.

She slumped back in her tub, completely spent, but with a resinating hunger still dwelling within her. She knew that she could only really be fully satisfied by having the real thing.

The cold temperature of the water being masked by her own body heat after her climax, but once the heat had subsided, she escaped from the chilly cocoon of her bath and began to wrap a towel round herself when her actions were interrupted by a knocking at the door.

Sighing to herself, she dropped the towel to the floor and instead reached for her robe, hating the way it clung to her damp skin as she tried to force her arms through the holes.

She began to walk towards the door, wrapping the robe around her and tightening it around her waist as she went, silently praying that whoever it was hadn't been there long enough to hear her cries.

As she got to the door, there was another knock, louder this time.

"Who is it?" Her voice still slightly horse.

"It's Castle."

Shit.

The man she was just pleasuring herself over was now at her door, she had to make a quick decision to either make him wait while she changed it answer the door like this. She didn't want to risk him leaving if she made him wait, he didn't sound in a patient mood. So she opened the door, met by the sight of him, 6 ft of tall, dark and handsome.

The look on his face at her attire increasing the fire that already burned inside of her. It was the same look she knew was slapped over her face. A wanting curiosity that threatened to consume them both.

But something in his eyes changed when he met her gaze, his became stone-faced and cold. She wasn't sure what was happening or why he was here, but she was sure her question were going to be answered.

"Sorry, I know I should have called ahead but I need to talk to you."

She shook her head dismissing his comment about calling ahead while stepping aside to allow him entry. He stepped inside, walking with purpose to her living room before turning to face her.

"I need you to be honest with me Kate." He paused to make sure he had her full attention as she followed him over to the couches although she didn't sit down.

"I need to know what we are, because I can't take anymore of these games we play, dancing around the line that takes us to a point where I thought we both wanted to be."

Her breath hitched, she was scared.

Not this time, she wouldn't run this time, it had been months since the shooting and he was still here, waiting for her to be ready to be with him. She would do what he wanted, she would be honest.

"I was at the precinct when you were interviewing the pick-pocket kid. I was watching you in the box with him" - her breath hitched, a lump so big forming in her throat that she could barely breathe - "I heard you saying you remember everything. Is that true? Do you remember me telling you," - he paused to swallow clearly suffering the same effects as her, tears slightly filling his eyes as he pushed through the pain to finished his sentence - "me telling you that I love you?"

Her eyes dropped to the floor, she should have realised, he disappeared just after she had finished the interrogation and he'd been in the precinct. Oh god, how could she have done this!? This man has stood by her through so much and is now stood in front of her, nearly in tears because she lied to him. She couldn't stand this, she was in emotional agony, she had hurt him so badly she hated herself.

"I'm so sorry Rick." Her voice was so quiet he barely heard her.

He exhaled deeply, running his hands through his hair and turning from side to side, almost like he was beginning to pace, like he couldn't decide if he wanted to run or not.

"So you lied to me, because you didn't feel the same and you what? Wanted to string me along forever, filled with false hope that we could be together one day?"

She finally met his eyes, tears streaming down her face.

"It's not like that Rick, I was trying to heal and I was scared that if we took that next step it would ruin us and I couldn't have that Rick, I can't loose you. I need you!"

"But you don't love me? Kate, I've waited for you for so long, I'm so in love with you and I just need to know if I've been waiting for no reason or if there is a chance for us."

She walked over to him slowly, her eyes staring at the floor until she was inches away from him. Her deep green eyes exploring his azure irises.

"I'm so sorry Rick, I shouldn't have lied to you, I have loved you for a long time." She tilted her head up to skim her lips against his, praying he would kiss her back.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, pushing her away slightly, enough so he could look into her eyes. The fear evident in her face.

But his eyes weren't angry, his pupils dilated to the point where the blue was almost all gone. His breathing came fast and shallow as his tongue poked out slightly to wet his bottom lip, looking down as he watched her hands find her robe tie, loosening the knot before slowly removing the material from her shoulders and letting it fall to pool at her feet.

He kept his hands at his side, terrified to make a wrong move in case she fled again.

She leaned up to whisper into his ear, her lips skimming his lobe as she spoke; "Touch me, Rick." She began to nibble on his ear, sucking it lightly as his hands began to roam her flesh, palming every inch and ever curve she had to offer while she kissed down his face, their lips meeting in a passionate kiss, tongues dancing and mingling in a fluid motion. God he loved her, she tasted Devine.

His lips traced down her collar bone to her breast as she began to undo his belt, slipping it through the rings and starting work on his trousers. He began to suck lightly on nipple, the feeling drawing a small gasp from her lips when her hand ventured into his pants, under his boxers as she began to rub him slowly, takin her time and covering his entire length with each stroke. He was rock hard and throbbing with pressure, the feel of her hand on him seriously not helping his situation.

His hand slipped lower until he was rubbing his fingers through her valley of pleasure, pinching her sensitive bundle of nerves, almost repeating her actions only a few minutes ago. The sensation making her moan loudly as she finally experienced his skilled writer hands at work, dipping in an out of her, drawing out her essence to coat the area around her opening, making the sensation feel even better.

He couldn't take this slow for play much longer, he needed to be inside her pronto. He did a final thrust of his fingers into her and curled them, resulting in her crying out in pleasure, her walls fluttering around his fingers as her legs failed her and he had to catch her with his free arm.

A few moments passed before he came back to herself, he was holding her close, leaning down to whisper to her; "Kate, are you okay?" The only response she could muster was a nod before he swept her up and carried her to her bedroom, kicking the door shut and laying her across her bed, ridding himself of his remaining clothes before crawling up the bed to meet her eye level.

He began to kiss her again as she fully came back to reality, skimming her foot up his now bare leg.

"Make love to me Rick."

He met her eyes once again before nestling his hips at the juncture of her thighs, poised in position above her entrance. He leaned down to press one last kiss to her lips before sinking deep inside her, filling her to the hilt and sheathing himself fully, a loud groan came from both of them as they relished the feel of each other.

He held still for a moment until she had adjusted to his size, but then pulled out nearly all the way before pumping into her again, repeating this pattern and falling in love with the slight squeak she made every time he thrusts into her wet heat.

She could feel herself climbing that mountain again, the top of her peak approaching fast. She wrapped her legs around his ass, the change in angle allowing him to slide against the front wall of her opening, bringing her climax quicker than she could have imagined.

It only took a few more pumps before she was breaking apart, shattering around him as she was launched off her peak, him following soon after, spilling his seed into her muffling his cries in her cherry hair. The harmonious moans of the couple filling the room as their bodies lay slick against each other, the only movement now coming from their breathing.

"I love you, Rick. I love you so much."

He moved his head to rest his forehead against hers, their eyes still closed, "I love you too." They knew the should move, but for some reason neither of them could bring themselves to loose this contact, this connection. They just remained their in each others embrace, they were the only two people in the world and they were so, so in love.