Hello my wonderful readers! How are all of you doing this fine day? XP Just a reminder, after I post ch. 10, so after my next update, I will be taking down the old version of 'Into the Painted Sky.'
Disclamer: I still don't own anyone but Katie...
"Question." I said, hoping to get his attention. He turned to me, meeting my gaze. "Are you taking me up on my offer, or are you just humoring me?"
"Taking you up on your offer." He said.
"Why?" I kept his gaze locked with mine. "You're not pitying me are you?" I asked pointedly. I needed to know, because I would walk away right now if it was just out of pity.
"I don't know, but it's not out of pity." At least he was honest.
"Alrighty then." I said, smiling at him again. "Lets see what we can't do." I studied him for a few seconds. He was at least a head taller then my 5' 6''. So that put him closer to 6'. Short hair didn't seem to suit him. Neither did the plain yellow short sleeve shirt. Besides the yellow was just to bright.
"Now to start off with, humans tend to alter parts of their appearance based on personality or interests. Same goes for clothing. Sp you would have to tell me a bit about yourself first. Is that okay?" He shifted uneasily next to me, seeming very hesitant to answer my question.
"Hey, take it easy." I said, gently laying a hand on his shoulder. "Look, we don't have to do this I it is making you uncomfortable, ya know." He just looked at me in surprise.
"Why do you care?" He said quietly. Was he havng second thoughts about this whole thing?
"I don't really know what you're asking me." I replied.
"About my holoform. Why do care if it doesn't match me?" Oh. Why did I care?
I looked at he ground, trying to sort out my thoughts and come up with an answer. I guess I was taking to long because he stood up and began to walk away.
"I guess," I heard his footsteps stop. "I just feel like everyone should get the chance to just be themselves. And right now you're not, cause, ya know, just adapting something from someone else isn't being yourself. It's like trying to be them." I kept my gaze aimed at the floor. This conversation just got deeper then I had wanted. Flashes of memories spread through my mind. Voices and images of my classmates and so called friends. Of the glances and the whispers. Events that made be build a persona that was not me. A persona I was still trying to overcome.
"How would you know!?" He snapped. I still didn't look up, to lost in the flashes to even see what was actually around me. Should I tell him? His voice echoed in my ears. 'How would you know!?' He sounded lost, hurt even.
"Because, I'm still not me." I whispered before shaking my head, as if it would make the memories go away.
"What?" I jumped at the question,suddenly very aware of where he was. When had he gotten so close?
"Like I said. I'm not me, but I am me." I glanced up at him, his eyes asking me to explain. I looked away. "Basically, growing up I guess you could say that I built up walls around me. Walls that I haven't taken down yet. No one truly knows what is going on in my head or what I really feel. I don't let them. I let them see the persona I created when I was a kid. I didn't even realize I had created it. I actually thought it was me, but as the years when on I realized that it wasn't me." I paused and let out a short, dry laugh. "To this day no one in my family believes that it could be me. I hid everything so well, for so ling. They tell me to stop acting strange when I try to let them in." I swallowed. "That's what I meant." I felt him sit down next to me again. I jumped as his thumb ran across my cheek.
"You're leaking again." He said after I looked up at him shocked.
"Oh. Sorry." I said as I quickly made short work of the tears. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself, then looked back up to him with a smile.
"Don't do that." I blinked in surprise. I was about to question him, but h held up a hand. "You'd look better if you didn't smile so much. It doesn't suit you to smile so much." He explained with a shrug. My expression fell, but a soft, barely existent smile hung on my lips. He saw right though me.
"So, we doing this?" He asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
"I guess." I replied. He nodded and I tried to think of where to start. "You guys like to go with a primary color scheme close to your paint jobs, right?" I said. He nodded. "So, I guess, first off, what colors do I have permission to play with?" He blinked at me.
"Gold and black." He responded. Okay. There were several Autobots that had that color scheme. I mentally shook my head. Not gonna over analyze it.
"Cool." I nodded. "Any hobbies or interests? I like Sketching." I help up my sketchbook. "And music." This time motioning to my headphones. I could still hear the music coming out of them. It was low, but still understandable. He was quiet for several minutes. He looked like he was debating something.
"Fighting, I guess." I looked up at him.
"Okay. Anything else?" I said, slightly confused.
"Painting." He said quietly. I nearly missed it.
"Really?" I said, slightly excited. He looked away, embarrassed. Crap. Now I feel bad. "Sorry." I said. "Ya know, I've always wanted to learn how to paint, but never knew how to start. So I've just stuck with sketching and mixed media."He glanced at me. I offered him a smile. "I'd really like to see some of your stuff some time." I said. "Back to work?" I asked, trying to get him to stop being so embarrassed.
"Sure." He said, almost relieved.
"Are your optics the same shade of blue as your holoform's eyes?" I asked.
"No." He responded.
"Make them the same shade." That sounded bossy. That sounded really bossy. "Sorry. That sounded bossy didn't it? I apologize."
"It's fine." He said.
"Um, now the hair, I guess. Let's see. Ah, try shoulder length and go from blond to black." I nearly freaked as the hair changed. So much for thinking I was ready to do this. Sunstreaker smirked at my reaction. I hit his shoulder. "Meanie!" I said pouting. "Anyway, Lets add some blonde highlights to your bangs." Once more there was an abrupt change to his hair and again I had a mini heart attack. "Now you're just doing that on purpose..." He smirked again.
"Nowthat is just being mean!" He chuckled at my outburst.
We worked a little longer on the face and hair. Tweaking his complexion and messing with a few other small factors that I swear made him seem more human and not like a living doll. When I was satisfied I looked at his clothes. A bright yellow shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and white and red sneakers. All in all, not a look I felt suited him. It just didn't seem like him. Which was odd 'cause I really didn't know him all that well...or at all, really.
"Now for the clothes." He hadn't talked much this whole time and it was kinda creeping me out. "Ya know you can talk some. I wont yell at ya." I said. He didn't meet my gaze. Or speak. I sighed. "Well, I tried. Okay back to work. Let's make the shirt a dark gold. Add a washed or aged look to it." I looked away as he made the adjustments. It was easier then dying every time something changed. I looked back up. He had really good taste.
"Sweet. Now let's add a gold long sleeve button down." He gave me a questioning look. "Trust me." I said. "I won't make you look stupid. I promise." He nodded hesitantly and added the requested garment. "Thank you. Make it a lighter shade of gold then your shirt." I sat there staring at the shirt. it needed something. It was just to, well, plain. "It needs a pattern. Let's try a flannel design." He looked like a redneck wanna be. I had to keep myself from laughing. "Try smaller lines in the design. Almost like pinstripes." I smiled. It looked awesome!
"Now the pants. Jeans are fine, just darken the color, almost black, but still blue." I was starting to get used to the clothes changing color before my eyes. "Perfect!" I said as he settled on a color. "Okay. Now how do you feel about ripped jeans?" His eyes took on a hazy, glazed over look. Okay? I was about to ask him if he was alright, but then his jeans changed. Rips of various lengths appeared down the the paint legs. "I'll take that as a yes." His silence was really starting to annoy me. "Has anyone ever told you you're way to quiet?" He tilted his head a little. "Never mind." I sighed. "Continuing. Change the sneakers to a pair of combat boots."
I stood up and had him stand as well. I backed up a few steps and looked him over. He looked good. Really good, but there was something about his hair that just kept bugging me. He liked painting, but if he did so in his holoform then his hair would get in the way. That was what it needed!
"Can you make a holographic hairband for me?" I held out one hand for him to set it in.
"Why?" OMG! He can speak!
"Because, though I'm willing to use the one I'm wearing it would just drop to the ground once you deactivated your holoform." I raised my eyebrows in a 'you know I've won' gesture. I motioned with my outstretched hand, this time he complied. The hairband was in my hand moments later. It felt like an ice cube had been set down on my hand while a warm breeze blew past it. I had to suppress the chill that wanted to run down my spine. I quickly walked over to him and set to work on finishing up his hair. I brushed his hair back with my fingers, making it look neat, but not overly so. I tied it off in a simple pony tail at the base of his skull. I smiled and nodded.
"You look good." I continued to smile and I walked back around to face.
I patted him on the shoulder, said a quick 'your welcome' and headed over to my sketchbook, which I had momentarily discarded. I picked it up and turned to my companion.
"I should be going soon. Ratchet is going to be wondering where I am. I hope you like your holoform a bit more now that it fits you. Bye." I said heading for the large door way. I hadn't made it more then a few feet way from him before I realized I hadn't introduced myself. I quickly turned around to find that he hadn't moved a muscle.
"Hey!" I said just loud enough to get his attention. "My name's Katie. But feel free to call me Kat. It's what my friends back home call me." I Didn't give him the bright smile I would give most people, but a softer, smaller one. "Just thought I'd introduce myself." I waved and began to turn around.
"Sunstreaker." I heard him say, causing me to stop. Did I hear him right? I quickly turned around to find that he was no where to be seen. Had I really just talked with Sunstreaker? Did I just help Sunstreaker? I thought about it for a moment, finding that all the pieces did fit into place. I really did just speak with Sunstreaker. I really didn't believe it.
I walked back to my room in a mild state of shock. I entered it and sat on my bed, my sketchbook in my arms and my music still playing softly in the background. Ratchet found me like that a few minutes later when he brought me supper. I could tell that I had him worried, but a bright smile and a few assurances had him relaxing and asking me about my day. I continued to smile and answered his questions, leaving Sunstreaker out of it. I don't know how Ratchet would react to the fact the just spent over an hour interacting. I didn't want Sunstreaker to get into any trouble. Soon enough Ratchet left me alone to finish eating. My thoughts drug me in different directions every few seconds, all the while wondering what tomorrow would bring.