Born Dying
(Epilogue)
It's easy to be born dying. You just have to have your heart broken and ripped out. Love is a new beginning, yet it can also be the worse type of ending. While it gives you all you need to live, it breaks you down bit by bit. You can love something so much that you expect it to be the greatest thing in the world, when you realize what a monster it is, tears fall. Don't ever expect so much of something that can give so little. When something works so hard to be perfect, it looses its entire self and you have lost it. The system has been overridden.
Aiden, Daisuke, Takumi, and Yutaka never really died, they continued loving. When you still love something, you aren't quite dead yet. As long as you still love, you are still living. Love is what keeps you alive, love for anything. Of course, hate is just as strong an emotion, if not stronger, and if you hate something that deeply, then you haven't truly died either.
As for Hitomi, she hated herself more that she realized. She was actually too blind to have ever truly loved Aiden anyways; she fell in love with a disgusting thing.
The meaning of this story doesn't really exist. The meanings do. The meanings are different for everyone and they are intended to be that way. What it meant to me, was about how being a hypocrite can end your life. You can try to hide your mistakes all the time, but guess what? Everyone can always see right through you. As for me, I will try to hide some things at a time, but I prefer to show the world I'm mended.
It truly is a beautiful thing- mistakes. They hide so many meanings deep down, some people just don't notice. You got drunk and drove and killed your whole family. When you start to live without them, you realize how much you hated them and how better off you are. Hate is hidden behind love, which is in turn hidden behind hate. It probably makes no sense but what I'm trying to say is that things are hidden behind other hidden things and if you hide them all, what is left of you? What have you left to give?
I have tried many times over and over to understand myself. Sometimes I come to hate thinking so deep, being so…different. It just leads to being lonely and that is something no one should be. But then at other times, I realize that that is what makes me…me. I love myself this way and if I have to change for anyone, I would rather die alone.
What I was to originally write instead of this was just another clip from the future: the creature dead by the hands of some vampire, or by all of the dead ones, and we humans existing today are to be their…'legend' or so to call it, like in "I Am Legend" but different. I changed my mind in part because my imagination is exhausted, never completely gone, but a little tired. But I mostly did it because I felt this to be more appropriate.
Right here, at the very last page, should be were I write why I wrote this and everything but whatever. This being my very last piece of writing this year (and who knows maybe my life), I wanted to thank everyone who has always been close to me, all my friends and teachers this year. Imagination is a hard thing to cover up because it's so strong, but inspiration is as well. I really do care for death, really, but I think as long as I have all the people I have now, I'll be fine.