February 1983- Lily

Harry's 'funeral' in January had been a lovely, quiet ceremony. Dragon Pox was a disfiguring disease and no one blinked at the closed casket, adorned with a simple photograph of Harry from a few months before. Lily mourned her son as though he were really dead. She shut herself into her room after the funeral and wouldn't come out even when Remus and Sirius tried to cajole her into eating some of the canapés that had been prepared by the house elves. She clung to Jem and locked herself away from the world. She never noticed James' distance, and certainly didn't know if he was at home or not. Lily barely spoke to anyone; the one person who would have understood how she felt was now hidden away with Harry, and Lily knew that she and Petunia could not speak again.

Lily did not think it possible, but her world was to shatter again. The morning was sharply cold, snow covering the grounds and the mausoleum that contained Harry's empty coffin. Lily sat at their private dining room table for breakfast, Jem next to her in his highchair, with Soosa feeding him some scrambled eggs and fruit. An owl tapped on the window; their copy of the Prophet had arrived. With the war over, there were very few pieces about deaths and murders, with most articles covering the trials of former death eaters, or human interest stories. Lily nibbled on a hard boiled egg and idly spooned sugar into her tea as she skimmed the cover. Her last name caught her eye, but it was common to see the name 'Potter' in the newspaper now. The contents of the article, however, made her drop her spoon and it clanged loudly against the saucer.

The Daily Prophet, February 19th 1983

Potter you Rotter!

By Rita Skeeter

James Potter, hero of the wizarding war, and the father of the deceased saviour of the wizarding world, Harry Potter, has been revealed to be an adulterer! Married to Lily Potter, née Evans, since 1978, the heir to the Potter estate was seen in the arms of another woman, Marlene Mckinnon, who is no less than Lily Potter's friend and former classmate. The dirty duo were spotted entering Madame Ruby's Luxury Suites on Knockturn Alley yesterday. A well known inn for illicit escapades, one does not need much imagination to know what must have happened there!

Worse yet, this was not their first tryst. Rumours of the couple's affair have been floating around for nearly a year. Sources say they have seen the pair- in poor and obvious disguises- at Madame Ruby's regularly since February of last year. James Potter was positively identified on multiple occasions by his family ring which he never thought to glamour or remove. Marlene McKinnon was also identified by a distinctive necklace that she wears often. Witnesses said nothing because they did not think anyone would believe them that Potter, a light son of a light family, would do such a thing. However, this reporter has photographic evidence of the affair, published below.

We would like to extend our deepest sympathies to Lily Potter at this time. Not only has she lost a son, but her husband has betrayed her terribly. We can only hope that she finds a way to get through this.

The grainy, moving photographs depicting the naked bodies of her husband and friend writhing together on a filthy bed rendered her motionless with shock. She could only stare at James silently when he entered the room, obnoxiously cheerful. He swore when he saw the contents of the newspaper.

'Lily! Oh Merlin, Lily, I'm so sorry.' James grabbed the Prophet from her, his face going white. 'I ended it, I promise I ended it!'

She wondered numbly if he was distressed because he was sorry, or because he had been caught. Would he have ever told her? She got up and walked past him, ignoring his pleas to wait, to listen, to understand. All she understood was that he had cheated on her, embarrassed her, hurt her. She silently packed a suitcase for herself and a small bag for Jem. She couldn't stay under the same roof with James and she didn't want to even think about the excuses Euphemia and Fleamont would make for their philandering son. Lily went to the floo, a crying Jem in her arms and loyal Soosa by her side, and spoke the name of the safest place she knew, other than Potter Manor or Hogwarts.

'12 Grimmauld Place.'

1982- James

He hadn't meant for the affair with Marlene Mckinnon to go on for so long. It should have been just a one time thing. He had met her by chance one night while out with Sirius shortly after Voldemort's demise. They had begun talking, reminiscing about Hogwarts, and James remembered how much time he had spent with her as a teenager. Lily had always been off with Snivellus and it was only in their sixth and seventh years that she had deigned to socialise with him. Marlene's presence, however, had been consistent from their first year, her support unfailing in his rivalry with Snape. Marlene understood his friendship with the Marauders. Where Lily could not grasp the pain of Peter's betrayal, Marlene did. He wondered how he hadn't really seen her before. Talking led to drinks, which led to a light touch, which led to a kiss and then James was lost in her embrace and the night was theirs.

Morning brought a sobering rush of regret; Marlene wasn't Lily, his sweet wife who had fought alongside him. Marlene wasn't the mother of his children. James assured himself that it was just once, and what Lily didn't know would not hurt her. He excused himself for the transgression; he was restless without the rush of battle and he needed an outlet. He promised himself that he would never betray Lily again.

But he did.

Lily was absorbed with the children. She was a good mother, he reflected, but made little time for him. He wanted to talk of the war and past duels, she wanted to speak of peace and plans for the future. He wished he could discuss Peter's treachery, but Lily dismissed him, 'he was always a rat!'. So he owled Marlene. Just this once, but it wouldn't happen again, they promised themselves. Eventually, they stopped pretending that it was just for drinks, just to chat; they both knew what would happen when they met. It wasn't going to be once or twice. They began meeting regularly at a shabby old inn on Knockturn Alley, always in disguise. Some days, he would be blond with blue eyes, and she would have black hair and olive skin. Other times, he would have sandy brown hair, and she would be a redhead. They were sure that no one noticed them, that no one realised who they were. James always felt dirty after, but he couldn't stop. The secrecy, the subterfuge, gave him the high that war provided, that peace never did.

Then came the news of Harry's lack of magic. Lily was obsessed. Was there a cure? Would Harry be happy? Would this affect Harry and Jem's relationship as brothers? She wouldn't stop. James just wanted a reprieve; he wanted to talk about something other than his failure to protect his son. Marlene didn't obsess the way Lily did. She assured him that it wasn't his fault for letting Voldemort overpower him. Perhaps Harry would not have lost his magic if his mother had been a pureblood, she suggested. It was wrong, he knew, but pinning the blame on Lily made him feel better.

Remembering his duty to his family, James half heartedly tried to end things with Marlene several times. He asked her not to come to the Halloween Ball, hoping to simply never see her again, and to forget their affair. But Marlene came anyway. He took her into the garden to rebuke her for coming. Their argument turned into passionate kissing, and he made love to her amongst the shrubs, not caring that his wife and children were nearby.

It was only when they returned to the ballroom that he was told that there had been an attack. While he had been with his mistress, his wife had been fighting to save their children. He was wracked with guilt. He barely spoke to Marlene or even the remaining marauders for the rest of the year, telling them he needed space.

February 18th 1983- James

After Harry's 'death', he decided it was time to end things for good. Lily was too good a wife and mother for him to continue and he needed to be there for her. He met with Marlene one last time at the seedy inn on Knockturn Alley. The usual moans from other occupants of the inn assaulted his ears as he sat on the dirty bed, removing the glamours he wore to disguise himself. The room was chilly and smelt musty; he wondered why this place had ever appealed to him. The bedroom he shared with Lily was clean, bright and scented with fresh flowers. How could he have chosen this over that? He gazed absently at a beetle scuttling on the dusty window sill as he planned what he would say. Someone knocked sharply three times at the door, followed by a pause, and then one more knock. It was their code.

'Marlene… I-' he said as he stood up. She rushed into his arms.

'Oh, James! I'm so sorry about little Harry,' she whimpered, holding him in a smothering embrace. 'Is there anything I can do for you?'

He breathed in the strong, sugary perfume she always wore, and thought of Lily's subtle jasmine fragrance with guilt. He detached himself from her, and they sat on the bed, holding hands.

'Marlene… I'm so sorry. But we've got to end this, for real,' said James, his unfocused gaze on the beetle that was now buzzing noisily at the window. 'I've got to be there for Lily and Jem. Harry's... death has been hard on all of us.'

Marlene's eyes filled with tears and her voice trembled when she spoke. 'I understand, James, but won't you be with me, one last time? For old times' sake.'

She leaned over and kissed him deeply, he told himself, just one last time. It couldn't hurt. One last time.

James walked away from their final encounter feeling lighter and happier than he had in a long time. Now that it was over, he would be the best husband and father that he could be. He, Lily and little Jem could go on holiday, perhaps back to that private island where they had gone on their honeymoon, so long ago. The next morning dawned with hope and promises of new beginnings and he walked into their little dining room for breakfast. Lily was already sitting at the table, the Daily Prophet hiding her face.

'Good morning, Lilyflower,' he greeted his wife cheerfully.

She lowered the newspaper and stared at him dully. He glanced at the papers, and felt his heart drop. On display were photographs of him and Marlene from yesterday, his shame in print for the whole world to see.

He begged her to listen, apologised to her over and over as she threw clothing into bags for her and Jem, but she said nothing. She didn't even look at him. He would have given anything to hear her scream at him, call him names. Anything but this silence. He could only watch as she fled their home, with their only remaining child, to Grimmauld Place.

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