Her Dark Life
Author: NotasboredasIlook
Rating: M for profanity, violence and adult situations.
Disclaimers: CSI: Miami and the characters belong to CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer and they have far more time and money than I do. I'm just using the products of their genius for nonprofit fun.
Category: DuCaine. Angst/Drama/Romance (eventually)
Summary: Maybe, just maybe, she WAS starting to lose it. God knew she was probably long overdue for an emotional meltdown. When she thought about it, almost everyone she knew at work had lost it at least once.
My first CSI: Miami fanfic. Be gentle.
Timeline: Refers to much of CSI: Miami Seasons 1-8 through "Bad Seed." After that I take our team in a different direction. No Kyle in Afghanistan and no more Delko and Calleigh rendezvous'.
Status: Complete
Chapter 10
"She tries to smile very graciously, when she wants to kill him." – Elvis Costello, "My Dark Life"
The knock was so light, she almost didn't hear it.
Attaching her earring, Calleigh walked quickly to the door, knowing instinctively it was him. She could still feel the heat from the bare skin of his hand on hers. His touch, his presence, his intensity from the day before had not left her mind. It haunted and seduced her at the same time, slowly consuming her mind and heart, drawing her into something that she could not pull away from.
She knew in her soul that she didn't want to.
In the beginning, her instincts always knew when he was near. A subtle alert would go up in her subconscious. No matter the situation or the location, that aural draw made something within her flutter. But they were different people then … or at least she was. And while she had flirted with idea of seeking out what – or more specifically who - she desired, she eventually realized what she felt was completely unrequited.
She thought that she had lost that awareness of him in the last few years as they drew away from each other. Lately, she had begun to wonder if that awareness was ever really gone, or just buried deep under the darkness of subliminal negativity.
Now, those feelings, those desires, had come roaring back into her psyche. She wasn't just aware of him … she was hyperaware, as if her very being had somehow become connected to his, seeking him out, feeding off of his energy.
It both terrified and excited her. Though their plans were for dinner, she felt anxious about the possibilities the night could hold. She was anxious for him.
Starting to feel flush, she ran shaky hands over her skirt to smooth the soft material and then reached for the doorknob. The door seemed to swing open of its own volition, revealing him to her like the long-sought answer to a mystery.
Her eyes traveled over him, taking in his immaculate black suit and shirt, which only served to make his thick red hair look like blazing fire. Holding his sunglasses in his strong hands, Horatio tilted his head to the side and took her in wantonly with his eyes.
Overcome by the daring of his stare, she stepped back from the door and motioned for him to enter her home. She realized that he had been there the night he had brought her home from the bar, but she hadn't exactly been the most gracious hostess at the time. She was determined to make that up to him.
If only she could find her voice …
He sauntered past her, into her living room and turned as she closed the door.
"You look … amazing."
His sultry voice gave her pause, and she bit her lower lip before turning to face him. Though a light evening spring breeze was blowing through the living room windows, she felt incredibly warm. She smiled shyly, feeling a bit under the microscope of Horatio's scrutiny.
"Thank you," she said softly. "So do you. Won't you have a seat? I thought we might have a glass of wine before we leave?"
He shifted his stance slightly, putting his weight on his right foot. For a split second, she thought maybe he was going to approach, but instead he remained where he was, smiling at her predatorily.
"Wine sounds good," he murmured.
Starting to feel a bit overwhelmed, Calleigh nodded and went to her kitchen.
"Oh my God, what is happening here?" her mind screamed as she twisted a corkscrew into the bottle of pinot noir. The way he was looking at her, the way he spoke, the way he smiled, the effect he was having on her … she had never felt so exposed before.
She felt like she was being hunted.
"Calm down," she told herself as she opened a cabinet door to retrieve wine glasses. "This is Horatio. It's just some wine and dinner."
Standing on tiptoe to reach a pair of wine glasses from the top shelf, Calleigh pushed herself closer to the counter to gain more leverage. Her fingertips had just grazed the smooth surface of one the glasses when she felt him enter the kitchen. She stopped, but before she could move, he was there, pinning her against the counter with his arms and body.
"It looks like you could use a hand," he growled low into her ear as he slowly slid his hand up over her bare arm, retrieving the glassware by their stems. The warmth of his breath against her neck made her tremble. She knew he felt her reaction to him.
The sensation of his touch and the heat from his body flooded Calleigh with a hunger that wouldn't be satiated by mere food. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply as he set the wine glasses on the counter, his arm again brushing her skin before his hand came to rest on her hip.
They stood there, unmoving for what seemed like an eternity to her. Her heart was pounding an erotic rhythm and she found it harder and harder to resist moving in time with it.
That's when Horatio decided to take the lead. Leaning his forehead against the back of her head, he pressed his body further into hers, placing his other hand on her hip.
"Calleigh."
In her entire life, she never thought she would hear her name from his lips with such passion, such need. Everything in her was screaming for more: More of his touch, more of his heat, more of him.
Calleigh groaned as warm, soft lips found the back of her neck, and her head rolled to back and to the side, letting it rest on his shoulder as she allowed him better access to her neck, giving in, giving herself over to him. He took what she offered hungrily, running his mouth over the long, slender curve of her neck, he grazed her earlobe with his teeth while his hands massaged the flesh from her hips up her torso. Finding a barrier in the collar of her sleeveless shirt, he moved his hands to the hem of the offending article of clothing.
"This … is in the way," he growled again, and even as the thought to remove it registered through the haze of seduction Calleigh was trapped in, Horatio pulled her shirt up and over her head and arms. The unrestrained force he exhibited caused her to gasp and she opened her eyes.
Looking down, she saw the skilled, quick hands she had so long admired caressing the flesh of her flat stomach.
"Oh God," she exhaled as he traced the contours of her shoulder with his mouth and tongue, his kisses sparking bursts of electricity under her skin. He moaned appreciatively against her flesh and moved his hands up her stomach over her heaving, lace-covered breasts. With a primal grunt, he pushed his body against hers even further.
Calleigh gasped again as she felt his obvious arousal, the pace of his movements maddening to her. Groaning again, she pushed her backside against him, begging him to give her more.
"Jesus," he moaned breathlessly. Keeping her pinned against the counter, he reached down with both hands and yanked the material of her skirt up, scrunching it around her waist.
Biting her lip, she felt him caress the tingling flesh of her thighs. The heat from his groin emanating through the remaining barriers of clothing against her firm backside.
Letting her head fall back against his shoulder again, she panted as his hands grazed the front of her satin panties.
"Oh God, Horatio," she exhaled lustfully. "I need …"
Moving one hand up to her stomach, he anchored her against him as he slipped his other hand under the satin material covering her.
"I know what you need, Calleigh," he murmured. "I need it too."
Her eyes slammed shut and she jumped as his fingers found her. Still, he held her tightly against him as he examined her flesh with a mind-numbingly erotic precision, stroking between her slick and swollen folds.
Reaching up, she hooked one arm behind his head, entwining her fingers into his thick hair and arched into him.
"I never thought I would touch you like this Calleigh," he moaned hoarsely against the skin of her neck. "I never knew how much I wanted you."
She gasped again as he dipped a finger slowly into her aching body. Biting hard on her lip, she melted more as he slipped a second finger inside of her and began alternating between hard thrusts and gentle strokes. Her mind spun. Her body hummed.
"Horatio," she moaned in needful desire. "I need it. I need you."
Even through the madness, she could feel him smile against the skin of her neck. He quickened the pace of his hand while he held her fiercely with the other. Her body tingled in anticipation, climbing the threshold of pleasure with every stroke and kiss. He was playing her body like a master musician played a piano, applying the right amount of pressure when he wanted her body to thrum loudly, and softening when he wanted her to come down more. To her, he was a skilled artist.
"Calleigh, I want you to come. Will you come for me?"
His words alone nearly sent her over the edge and she tightened the grip she had on his hair. Breathless and unable to speak, she nodded her head against his.
"Tell me, sweetheart," he whispered as he quickened the pace of his strokes. "Tell me you're going to come."
The sensation began building to an overpowering strength within her, and she opened her mouth in an effort to meet his demand. Her body however, was caught in the rising tidal wave of electricity flowing through her.
"Tell me, Calleigh. I want you to tell me."
Calleigh fought through the haze for the words and licked her lips. Her body was on the verge of release and was begging for it with an intensity she had never before experienced.
Just then, his thumb found THE spot: The tiny fold of flesh that sent her body skyrocketing.
She felt as though she was filled with lightning as her body tensed and went flying over the brink of extreme, insane pleasure. Her limbs felt like they were on fire and she saw bright fireworks behind her closed eyelids.
"I'm coming!" she screamed out. "Oh my God, I'm coming!"
He held her as she rode the wave. Her body shook with every ripple of her orgasm, each tremor awakening something new in her.
When the intensity finally began to subside, she wobbled slightly on shaky legs and exhaled. Using both hands to stabilize her, Horatio turned her body around and held her tightly against him.
She buried her head in his strong chest and rested her hands on his arms as she tried to catch her breath. The smell of his cologne and the rapid beating of his heart against her ear quickly re-ignited her passion.
Sensing the change, Horatio lifted her head to meet his gaze. Though Calleigh hadn't been able to see his face during their first intimate act, she saw a blazing, unquenched hunger in his deep blue depths.
Reaching up to caress his face, she stared with lust into his eyes.
"Kiss me, Horatio. Kiss me."
His mouth crushed hers like he was a man starving and she was his buffet. Taking her breath away, his tongue sought her mouth out and was immediately given entry, dueling with hers as his hands roamed all over her mostly nude body.
Hooking her hands around the lapels of his coat, Calleigh pushed and pulled as he shrugged, their mouths never breaking contact, until the garment lay in a heap on the floor. Desperate to the point of insanity to feel more of his skin, she fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, until she finally gave up and ripped it open, exposing his broad, naked chest to her.
Unfazed by this offense against his wardrobe, Horatio cupped her rear with his hands, and bent at slightly at the knees. With one quick movement, he threw her up on her counter and positioned his body between her legs.
Grabbing his head and holding it fiercely to hers, she broke away from his mouth and traveled down his jaw and neck with her tongue, tasting his sweat and essence. He groaned loudly as his hands slid the straps of her bra off her shoulders.
Calleigh ran her hands down his body, through his chest hair, over the firm plains of his abdomen to his waist. Reaching for his belt, she felt him draw a sharp breath as he kissed her neck. Her nimble fingers working quickly, she undid the metal buckle and button of his pants.
He lifted his head from her shoulder and captured her mouth again with fervor. Pulling her to the edge of the counter, he pressed his body firmly against hers, the heat of their exposed skin creating a fine sheen of sweat on them both.
Finding her inner fires burning to near volcanic levels, Calleigh lowered the zipper of his pants and slid her palm inside the waistband of his boxers. He moaned huskily into her mouth as her hand found his hard, throbbing length. Her fingers wrapped around him, slowly stroking his soft, hot skin up and down.
Pulling his head back, he ground his jaw and clenched with closed eyes as Calleigh applied a tighter pressure to her ministrations, reveling in the feel of him, in how her touch was affecting him and in the knowledge that soon she would have all of him ... inside of her.
As she ran a single fingertip up his shaft, he pressed himself further against her hand and opened his eyes.
Staring into them, she watched as the blue hues again turned dark and stormy, as they had yesterday at the crime scene, revealing to her the want, lust and passion he was feeling.
All for her. And she was more than ready for him.
"Calleigh," he said as he reached up and cupped her face, drawing her to him for another kiss. "Calleigh …"
She smiled against his mouth. "Yes, Horatio?"
He kissed her softly again. "Spring training has begun for the Marlins.
Calleigh pulled back. "What?"
He leaned in for another kiss.
"A five-car pile up is causing a massive traffic jam on the causeway, motorists are advised to take an alternate route," he said as he dipped his head against her neck.
Her eyes flew open and she immediately sat up in bed. Taking stock of her surroundings, she quickly realized that despite the hot wetness she felt, she was alone.
It was just a dream.
"Fuck," she murmured, closing her eyes again, debating if she should try and get back to the illusion that was elusively slipping from her consciousness.
"It's a beautiful Saturday morning here in Miami," the all-too-chipper radio disc jockey reported. "No better way to start the day than with lots of sun and warm breezes."
Irritated, she slammed her hand down on her alarm clock, eliminating the unwelcoming sound that had broken her passionate slumber.
"Damn," she muttered breathlessly as she ran her hands over her face and tried to calm her pounding heart rate. No matter what she did, her body hummed, seemingly unwilling to let her forget her desires.
Throwing the covers back on her bed, she planted her feet on the floor and headed for her bathroom. She felt the great need for a very, very cold shower.
Shedding her pajamas, she reached into the shower and turned the faucet on. Droplets of ice-cold water on her heated skin shocked her system and caused goose bumps to travel up her arm. Jumping slightly, she took a deep breath and immersed herself fully under the showerhead, the unforgiving, cold stream flowing over her bare body, cooling her hot flesh and bringing her mind back to itself.
It had been a long 24 hours.
One dead Easter Bunny and no viable suspects later, Horatio finally decided to leave the lab.
After all, he had plans. Determined to leave work behind for a few hours and really explore these feelings that had been invoked by Calleigh, he went home, showered and dressed in a black suit and blue shirt. The memory of that fleeting, yet intense, moment the day before at the crime scene playing in his mind and senses over and over again.
He tried to reason and rationalize away what her touch had done to him, but it was to no avail. Something within him wouldn't let that happen. It was as if, for the first time, his mind and body had discovered something important - vital - and were bound and determined not to let it go.
Something … more like someone.
Exiting his home, he put his sunglasses on and headed toward the Hummer, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. He hadn't seen Calleigh all day. Technically, it had been her day off and Wolfe was processing the prints and trace collected at the mall murder scene. But he knew she had been at the lab at some point, briefly looking over Wolfe's shoulder, making sure all was as it was supposed to be.
Plus she had left him a note.
He had been out with Frank most of the day interviewing more mall employees. When he returned, he found the yellow post-it attached to his computer:
Had to come in. Curiosity about the case got the better of me.
Saw you were out, didn't want to bother you by phone. See you tonight.
-Cal-
Smiling, he climbed into his car. The Miami skyline was turning a vibrant palette of yellow, orange and purple as dusk began to settle over the city. There were a few clouds in the sky, but it still looked to be a beautiful night. Who knew what it held in store for them?
His cell phone chirped from inside his coat pocket. Wondering if Calleigh had indeed decided to "bother" him, he reached into the inner breast pocket of his coat and pulled out his phone, opening it without checking the display.
"Horatio."
However, it was not Calleigh's voice that greeted him.
"Mr. Caine, this is Dr. Ambrose at Glendale Springs. I'm sorry to call this late in the day, but we've had a situation here concerning Ms. Winston."
Horatio immediately stiffened at the mention of Kyle's mother. "What's happened?"
The doctor cleared his throat. "I'd rather not discuss it over the phone. I think it would be beneficial if you were to come up here. As soon as possible."
Knowing the severity of Julia's mental illness, Horatio prayed it wasn't the worst possible scenario. "Is she alive?"
"Yes," Dr. Ambrose replied. "I can explain in better detail once you are here."
Horatio nodded. "I'm on my way."
Sighing, he ended the call and started the car. Before he pulled away from his house, he opened his phone again, hoping Calleigh wouldn't ask too many questions. Julia's medical problems were a sore spot for both he and Kyle. No one accept Alexx knew she was in an institution. For now, no one else needed to know.
Calleigh tried to make herself busy that day. She went to the store. Stopped by the lab. Went for a jog. But no matter what she did, she could not escape the images from her dream.
Attaching her earring, she looked at the clock on the nightstand: 6:37 p.m.
Blowing out a breath as she examined herself in the mirror for the 20th time, she wondered how she was going to get through the night in such close proximity to Horatio without embarrassing herself.
Or ripping his shirt off.
She straightened the black skirt and white cotton top she was wearing and flipped her hair over her shoulder.
"Ready as I'll ever be," she thought to herself.
The trill of her phone broke her from her thoughts. She walked quickly into the living room and picked up the cellular from the coffee table.
The display read: HORATIO.
Flipping open the phone, warmth flooded her body and despite her nervousness, she smiled.
"Hey there," she said as lightly as she could. "You get my note?"
There was a pause on the other end and instinctively Calleigh knew something was wrong.
"Yes I did, thank you," Horatio said, attempting to mask obvious concern in his voice.
Her smile faltered. "What's going on?"
Again, there was a hesitation before he spoke: "I'm sorry to do this Calleigh, but something has come up. I need to take a raincheck on dinner."
Looking down, she was surprised at how much disappointment she felt at his cancellation of their plans. She exhaled as she cradled the phone against her face.
"Everything okay?"
She could tell by the ambient noise in the background that he was in the car. Clearly he was going somewhere.
"I … um … can't really discuss it right now," he sounded distracted, but she believed there to be sincere regret in his voice. "I've been called to handle something. I'm still working the mall murder, so I shouldn't be away too long."
Calleigh sat down on her sofa and took her shoes off. She knew she had no right to feel neglected, but she couldn't help but be hurt by the fact that he was shutting her out again.
"Apparently, some thing never change," she thought sadly.
"Okay," she replied, trying to sound as upbeat as possible. "Do what you need to do. I'm in the lab tomorrow anyway so I can check on the status of the case."
"Thanks. I'll call you when I get back in town."
She laid her head on the back of the sofa. "No problem."
With those parting words, he hung up the phone. Closing her cell, Calleigh reached up and removed her earrings. Then, reaching over to the lamp on the side table, she flicked the switch.
She sat there for hours. Alone in the dark.
Okay, first an apology that it took to so long to post this. I knew roughly how I wanted to end this. but I rewrote it like eight times (if you can believe it).
Second, a big thank you to all my reviewers. This was my first CSI: Miami fanfic, so I was kinda nervous. You guys are so awesome, reviews make my days so much better and they motivate me to write. Thank you for your kind words and for motivating me.
Third, as I said in Chapter 9, "Her Dark Life" is the first part of a continuing story. I have it mapped out and more or less started, I just need to take a small break to reenergize (and do laundry). The next part (which I haven't titled yet) should be up after Easter.
Finally, I give it up to the DuCaine faithful. Thank you for existing so I wouldn't be left alone in a world full of hiphuggers. :D