The Wizard of Oz's house.
Where they will meet the Gate Gaurdian and his snappy comments about faith.
"Kakashi, there's something important you should know."
"What's that Sensei?"
"Your balls are showing, bumblebee tuna!"
"What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?" Shouted Yamato to the surprise of all.
"It means, you lack hatred." Spoke Itachi to the surprise of at least one person.
"Whoa! I forgot you were here Toto!"
"MY NAME IS ITACHI NOT TOTO!"
"Your name'll be Tobi in a second if you keep up that attitude." Spoke Minato, a glare in his eye and a whip mysteriously appearing in his hand.
"I wanna go home! Take me home!" Shouted the Dog eared Itachi.
"I don't really feel like G&R right now Itachi, so relax." Said the one eyed pornclops.
"Once we reach the great wizard you may ask him to take you home Itachi!" Minato exclaimed!
"He grants the wishes of anyone that comes to him! I shall ask for a new liver!" Kakashi exclaimed right after!
"I shall ask for my kidney back...!" Tenzo coughed and wheezed a little. The pain in his stomach area was aching like crazy!
Itachi nodded and rubbed his chin. He would ask to go home!
They all began walking, no one questioning each others wish for the wizard. Yet.
"Sen...Sensay, you know man?" Kakashi managed to spew out, his voice wobbly and his step a bit unsure after drink twenty-four.
"What Kashi squashy?" Asked a slightly intrigued Minato.
"I love you MAN!"
"That's nice Kakashi, I love you as much as a man may legally love his student."
"No Sensay, I LOVE you."
Minato stopped dead in his tracks, staring deep in his eyes he saw a glint, a very pink looking glint."
"Kakashi..."
"Yes, Sensai?"
"We will never speak of this again."After Kakashi switched places with Yamato so Minato wouldn't have to touch him all that much anymore, they continued on their way through the market.
Minato blinked once during a skip and blinked again.
They were getting close.
He could smell it.
"Hn?" Stated Itachi in Uchihanese.
"Wha.. what did you just say about my mother?" Stammered out Kakashi.
"Hn..." Said Itachi in earnest.
"SHE WAS A SAINT! YOU BASTARD."
"Hn." Itachi said, a chuckle escaping him.
"I'll KILL YOU!" Kakashi roared, before tripping over Yamato and landing face first on the yellow colored road.
After they extracted themselves from the road they noticed Minato standing with his hands on his hips.
Glancing where ever the hell he was glancing they noticed Hizashi Hyuuga.
Turning Minato spoke to his followers.
"We're finally.. Kakashi you've got a little something on your face."
"uhhgle Wh-heree sensei?" Kakashi reached up and smacked himself in the face.
"To the left."
Kakashi's hand smeared yellow paint about.
"No, No a bit to the right."
To the right he says. By the time Kakashi did the majority of face was covered in yellow.
"Dat Good Send-says?"
"That about does it Kakashi. Now as I was saying, We're heereee!"
They all looked at Hizashi.
Who waved a hand that just happened to have an extra finger on it
It was at this point that Yamato strode forward, purpose in every stance, his eyes in a beady eye'd glare.
"My name is Yamato. Wait no.. it's Tenzo. My name is Tenzo, and you stole my Woodpecker Khan prepare to suffer!" Thus having spoken Yamato forced his hands together and grew a mighty Lemon tree underneath Hizashi.
It rose into his balls with the force of a tidal wave, thus was Hizashi laid low.
"Uggle wha.. what the hell?! I've never uuuaahh.. even seen you before, you little bastard!" Yelled Hizashi as he attempted to clutch himself around the tree.
"You know what you did." He stared that unfaithful bastard down.
Clapping in the background jolted him from his evil moment.
"Good job Yamato! You defeated the Gate Guard! Lets go to the Wizard now! I'm so proud!" Minato clapped him on the back and walked past, stepping on Hizashi as he went.
Tenzo was frozen in shock.
And then a warm fuzzy feeling spread within himself.
"NO MORE LOCKED DOORS!" Screamed Kakashi after they broke their way into another home, as they stumbled through the wonderful city of Oz.
"Kakashi... shh, it's alright." Soothed Minato.
"Sensei! I wan my daddy!" Wailed Kakashi pitifully.
"Maybe... I let him drink too much? Is that even possible? Nah!"
"Minato, is that you?"
Minato slowly turned his head. That voice had appeared out of nowhere. Then he spotted the old monkey. He sighed in relief.
"Jeez Old Man, I almost shat myself."
"I could tell you some story, my boy.."
"Jiraiya told me a few"
"So what are you here for?"
"For you, Old Man... you."
"I knew this day would come. I don't swing that way my boy. I mean, I experimented that one time with Homura, but we were just boys. Tobirama-sensei broke us up before we could get far thankfully. He pimp slapped the hell out of us. Why, I remember this one time..."
"As much as I enjoy learning about your homo-erotic encounters Old man, I am kind of strapped for time here."
"Ahh? What were we talking about? Have you seen my pipe Minato?"
"Back pocket you old geezer. We're here to see you, the great and wonderful Wizard of OZ."
"Is that why the ANBU-fliers delivered a kidney to me?"
"You should have a liver too."
"I think they gave me something like that, was it in a plastic package?"
"Are you suggesting that they gave you a cow liver?"
"My dear boy... what is a cow?
"Live Hamburger."
"I fought one of those once, punched it right in the chest. I then used it's body as a disguise to great effect."
"Okay... uh... lets move away from creepy body wearing land, and get back to Oz."
"Yessum Monkey Trainer! I be Wantin NEEW LIVER." Kakashi fisted the air and cried a little.
"What Kakashi is saying Sandaime-sama, is that we all have wishes" Tenzo stepped forward.
"Ah! Is that you Tenzo? Why my old eyes can barely believe it! You've grown so large since I last saw you. Ho ho ho, why I remember when I first found you in Orochimaru's lab. Almost dead, weeping like a babe, good times good times."
"Ye-yes Sandaime-Sama. Good times indeed." Said a visibly shaken Tenzo.
"Yamato." Stated Minato.
"What was that Minato?" Asked the Hiruzen.
"His name is Yamato, not Tenzo."
"Oh, is that true? I'm sorry my boy! Yamato it is then!"
Tenzo's frame visibly shook.
"Now you came here for wishes?"
"Yup."
"Is that why you're in that nice looking dress Minato?"
"Indeed it is. Kakashi has already claimed the first wish though. He wants a brand new liver!"
"Ah yes, where did I put it..." He fumbled through the folds of his outfit.
"He kept it in his robes?" Asked Yamato; a look of disgust on his face.
"I'm not surprised," Said Minato, "I once saw him pull a man's head out from the back of his pants. He wouldn't tell me how it got there, or why exactly he waited till then to pull it out, but well there you go."
"Wh-what?" Stammered out Yamato.
Itachi just stared, his eyes like saucers.
Once he finally found it, he passed it over to Kakashi. It was in a jar, but it still seemed to have hairs on it.
"Next" He fixed them with a sage-like look.
Tenzo stepped forward.
"I would like my kidney back, Sandiame-sama."
"I put it in the fridge, fetch it yourself."
"Why would you put it in the fridge?"
"The better question is, why would I not? Anyway, Next!"
"Hn!" Stated the young dog boy.
"I see, I'll have a monkey take you home in a bit."
"Now Minato my boy, just what do you want?"
Minato froze.
He never thought of what he wanted. What should he ask for?! WHAT SHOULD HE ASK FOR?!?!!??!!!
And then it hit him like a stream of urine from Kakashi's alcohol filled bladder.
"I want... I want to be a pokemon master!"
"No."
A part of Minato died that day.
And the only thing that would make up for it would be...
"Then... then I want Yamato's kidney." He sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.
"Done"
Just then Tenzo came back in with his kidney.
Yamato could only look on as the Sandaime took his kidney and handed it to Minato. His eyes - they misted, and his hands - they shook.
"Thanks Old Man Hiruzen!"
"You're certainly welcome my dear boy. Now run along with your friends. I've got to go change myself."
"My kidney!"
"Oh, stop whining Tenzo," said the Sandaime, "You can just make yourself a wooden one."
"Bu.. but but!"
"Ah... I remember when I was obsessed with butts myself. Used to be quite the butt pirate in my day!"
As Minato and Kakashi walked home, Minato couldn't help but think they forgot about something. Shrugging he continued on his way.
In the distant background a dulled sobbing could be heard.
Back in the field with a sobbing Asuma, he clutched his only cig in his lips. Some kind stranger had just lite it up for him.
Sobbing lightly, his grasp on the fag did not last.
It did not last..
His eyes widened as it fell in a dramatically slow way.
It landed on his shinobi sandal.
Sighing in relief, Asuma weeped a little less.
And then a suddenly flaming pain igniting in his soul.
NO! THE NEOARMSTRONG CYLCONE ARMSTRONG JET CANNON!
The cancer stick's flames grew quickly as Asuma cried Loudly.
It's secretly Monday, but don't tell anyone.